Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Are a Waste of Time

It seems very non-life coach-y (or “un-relish” as my clients like to say), to tell you that your New Year's resolutions are a waste of time. But they are.  Sorry.

If you consider life to be a continuum of experiences and growth, then January 1st is an arbitrary time to decide to make significant change.  Furthermore, making resolutions simply because it is tradition or “someone told you to” is a fairly mindless concept. As a self aware individual, shouldn't change and resolution occur organically throughout the year?  If January 1st comes around and you have not truly internalized a need, commitment, or drive to change, then you are completing an exercise in futility. Congratulations.

Let's say that you actually have taken the time this holiday season to think about what changes you do want to make in your life in the upcoming year, then let's make sure that your resolutions go deep enough that you are not creating a set up for failure.  For example, the ubiquitous, “I am going to lose 10 pounds and go to the gym more” has a nice sentiment, but we all know that by February 12th, you will be back to making excuses as to why you can't go to the gym and must eat that burger AND cool ranch Doritos.  Why? Because you have an underlying story that hasn't been brought to the light.  Perhaps the only way you know to attain comfort is through food and the only way you feel valuable is by working such long hours that you don't have time for the gym. Living in the dark is a sure way to continue to look for meaningless external “solutions” to internal problems.

Without self-discovery and digging deeper to work through your story to find a new way to think about yourself and your circumstances, the desire to lose 10 pounds is external, or outside of yourself. The way to find success is not by focusing on the 10 pounds, but by bringing the dark to the light; expanding your consciousness to bring yourself closer to happiness and your true self.

As the New Year approaches, it is as good a time as any to consider what you want for yourself, what changes you want to make, and how you want to become better.  Reflection is the first step in the process of change.  Disregarding the calendar date removes the pressure to make hasty changes,  and leaves room for thoughtful and sustainable change.  You may seek the guidance of a life coach (such as myself), a therapist, or the support of a meditation or stress management group.  The chances of  your success increase when you engage consistently with another person or group, so don't you dare take on the dialogue, “I need to do this on my own”.

So give yourself permission to not make empty New Year's resolutions.  Rather, spend your time wisely to create a life of mindfulness and awareness so that growth can occur everyday.

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