Israel is suddenly in intermarriage frenzy. The reason? No more than anecdotal: a Jewish woman decided to marry an Arab (Muslim) man. They had their wedding earlier this week. A big event for them, a non-event for the public. That is, except for the fact that a radical right-wing group, named Lehava, insisted on arranging a demonstration close by. A controversy-seeking media, possibly bored by now with Gaza and in need of fresh material, turned this fringe demonstration into a national spectacle. The ugly scenes of bearded Jewish men shouting “Muhammad is dead”, coupled with the haste of politicians that saw an opportunity to score some points, occupied Israel for 24 hours. Pundits were asked to analyze. Rabbis were summoned to talk shows. Leaders were urged to “respond”. Assimilation, for a short moment, replaced “the tunnels” as the big threat to Israel's survival.
Here are 5 comments on this controversy (which isn't expected to last for very long):
1.
Israeli Jews are under no serious threat of assimilation for a simple reason: they have no one to marry but their own breed. In most cases and to most Jews, Israeli Arabs are no option. The differences in culture, and even more so the tension between the two populations make such marriages quite rare. And besides, when Jews are the majority, I'd expect the Arab minority to worry about assimilation – not the Jews. Other types of Jewish-non-Jewish marriages exist: Jews marry immigrants from the former Soviet Union that aren't recognized as Jews by the rabbinate. Those who judge such unions by Orthodox halachic criteria have a problem with them. But when you look at them in a more relaxed way – say, by thinking about the culture of these newly created homes – it is hard to see them as real “assimilation”. These homes, if they feel welcome by most Israelis, will be Jewish homes.
2.
That Israel doesn't have a real problem with intermarriage doesn't mean it doesn't have a problem with its attitude towards intermarriage. The attitude problem comes in two main formats:
One – Lack of interest in formulating a reasonable approach to why it is important to have Jewish marriages. That is, Israelis are not bothered by this problem and hence don't think about it and hence tend to have only weak resistance to it. As I demonstrated not long ago based on numbers, quite a few Israelis “would gladly intermarry” had they had the opportunity.
Two – A sense of hysteria. While many Israelis are tranquil about the possibility of intermarriage, many others are overexcited about it without reason. This was demonstrated during the short-lived recent wedding controversy when words such as “holocaust” “disaster” “calamity” and the likes were frequently used. Take a look at this example: “'Intermarriage in Israel is simply a catastrophe,' venerated Zionist rabbi, Rabbi Chaim Druckman”. Except it is not. Not even close.
3.
I must say that the responses from many Israeli political leaders to the wedding controversy were surprisingly measured and reasonable. They tended to A. denounce the ugly demonstration, B. unapologetically declare their opposition to intermarriage.
Take a look at the response of Yair Lapid – the leader of secular Yesh Atid, and a man considered by haredi Israelis as staunch enemy: “If my son would come to me tomorrow and say ‘Dad, I want you to meet not Rina but Rona and she’s [Christian] Orthodox, or Catholic and I’m marrying her and the children won’t be Jewish,’ would this bother me? It would really bother me”.
I heard the interview with Lapid on the radio. Following it, there was another interview with former Labor leader, MK Shelly Yachimovitz. Her response to Lapid's comments: I agree with every word. The views of these two secular leaders didn't seem far from the view expressed by Orthodox-Zionist leader Naftali Bennet.
4.
Truth must be told: It is harder for many Israelis to swallow the bitter pill of intermarriage between a Jew and a Muslim Arab than it is to accept intermarriage with a Christian Norwegian Kibitz volunteer. So yes, there is a kernel of racism to some of the responses to the recent wedding. It is not really surprising – people usually tend to be less favorable to unions with people whom they suspect. But that's no excuse. The issue of the tense relations between Israeli Jews and Arabs needs to be addressed as urgently and as vigorously as possible (but don't expect it to be solved anytime soon).
5.
Try to remember that Israel is a curious little country. We tend to be very conservative on some things – or to have such an image (an image which this wedding controversy might strengthen). But we are also one of the most liberal countries on earth on other matters. Consider this: just last week, with very little fanfare, Israel extended it “law of return” privileges to gay couples. So when you are told that Israel is becoming a “theocracy” or is “ruled by the rabbis” or other such nonsense, don't think about a small group making big noise about one couple – think about official Israel changing its policy in a way that will have an actual impact on new immigrants.
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