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June 25, 2013

Amy Winehouse died of bulimia, not drugs or alcohol, says her brother

While the “Amy Winehouse: A Family Portrait” exhibit, opening soon at London’s Jewish Museum, will show the public a different version of the singer’s life than the one we saw in the tabloids, her brother has just come forward with a new angle on how she died.

While he doesn’t deny her very struggle with drugs and alcohol, that isn’t what killed her, says Alex Winehouse. Instead, he claims, it was bulimia that actually led to his sister’s death. (The coroner’s inquest listed alcohol poisoning as the cause of death).

“She would have died eventually, the way she was going, but what really killed her was the bulimia,” he told The Observer. “Had she not have had an eating disorder, she would have been physically stronger.”

According to Winehouse, she developed bulimia in her late teens, when all of her friends were doing it. “They’d put loads of rich sauces on their food, scarf it down and throw it up. They stopped doing it, but Amy never really stopped. We all knew she was doing it but it’s almost impossible [to tackle], especially if you’re not talking about it.”

Winehouse died in 2011 at age 27. Tragic, no matter how exactly it happened.

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Surrounded by Kids

I was surrounded by kids for an entire day. In a span of eight hours, I was kicked in the groin and nearly run over by a Fisher Price bicycle. All proof that the first day of summer is the longest day of the year.

These kids were more combative than a street gang out of “Warriors.” Before I could celebrate  Aunt Barb and Uncle Larry's 65th birthday party, I would need to get past 6 year cousin Quaydu—who told me he was 7–lecturing 4 year old Zoe about “good behavior.” This coming from the little boy wearing a Darth Vader Helmet. While becoming acquainted with the chips and salsa I heard a loud shriek.

“Mommy! Mommy!” cried Zoe as she laid on the grass.

The slide fell. Quaydu blamed the mechanics.

“Quaydu pushed me,” blamed Zoe.

I wanted to believe Quaydu but he was the one who ran down the steps charging me with a plastic sword. When I checked in on Quaydu upstairs he and 3 year old cousin Tyler were jumping around on the couch. When I tried to apprehend Quaydu, he escaped from my arms climbed from the top rope and lunged at me like Diamond Dallas Page extending his elbow down to my nether regions. I flipped Quaydu over my head and onto the couch. Then another little boy who I didn't know jumped on my back.

“At least introduce yourself before you put me in a sleeper hold.” I yelled to him.

Tyler now joined his older cousin Quaydu on the top rope in a tag team scenario. Roughhousing Ari and Josh's boys is more acceptable than me spear chucking the child of someone of no relation. I gently shoved him off the couch.

Wiping off sweat, in rushed in Zoe. “Mommy! Mommy!”

“Yes?” asked Laurie, her mother.

“Quaydu gave me chocolate.”

Smooth move by Quaydu. That's only a move you can get away with when you are 6 (turning 7). If you are a grown man you can not rough up a lady than give her a piece of chocolate and expect things to be okay.

I was glad to hear Josh's voice summoning me from the pool up to the balcony saving me the swarm of baby boomers dancing poolside. Josh's boys Tyler and Jake were drag racing tricycles. Trying to have a conversation with my older cousin Josh put me in a game of chicken with his boys. Tyler, at 3 years old, gave me a big hug. That's all he could do after I blocked him en route to the jacuzzi. 2 year old Jake veered past me. Tyler set the pick and Jake rolled until he got stuck near the jacuzzi and I had to let him free.

“I don't want to go back to Boulder,” Tyler confessed.

The sweet hearted cyclist now posed for a picture with his young brother, Jake.

Jake doesn't quite now how to talk, but he mumbles well enough to get by. Of all his words throughout the day, the only one I could make out was “fireman.” He and Tyler are both obsessed with firemen. Aunt Barb and Uncle Larry's friend, Joe whose arm was held by a sling, is a fire chief.

“Jake. Tyler. You see, Joe?” said Abby, Josh's wife. “Joe, is a fireman.”

Jake and Tyler looked up to Fireman Joe how at the age of 14 I looked up at Chris Rock when I met him at Stand Up New York. He was a real life hero.

“Do you know where to find the hose?” asked Tyler.

“Yes, and next time you are in town I will take you on the fire truck.” said Joe.

Joe would have really proved himself a hero if he could put these kids to bed. Quaydu and Zoe wanted to watch “A Bugs Life.” Tyler claimed he wasn't tired. Jake cried. It was a group effort to convince these kids it was bed time. Ari took Quaydu and Zoe into the other room. My dad read a bedtime story to Tyler. And Abby put Jake's bed in the bathroom. Everything worked except putting Jake's bed in the bathroom. He continued to cry. I can't blame him. I would cry too if I had to sleep in the bathroom.

Once the kids were put to bed Aunt Barb opened presents. The kids tired us out until I heard that Aunt Barb and Uncle Larry received a gift card from Leslie and Shlomo! I started laughing like a child.

“I need a friend named Shlomo to buy me a gift card.”  I said.

I was then put in the bathroom.

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Apparently, Jewish Journalism is a Confusing Business

Alan Abbey, director of media and Internet services at the Shalom Hartman Institute, spoke recently about a new report released by the Institute about “Jewish media.” At the outset, he declared: “Jewish journalists and the media they work for are at a crossroads. As both their audiences and the technologies they use are changing rapidly, Jewish media journalists remain committed and optimistic, yet they face challenges.” Why optimistic? What challenges? What’s a “Jewish journalist”?  All these have answers in the report, based on a survey of Jewish journalists initiated by Abbey.

I had some concerns related to this survey. And Abbey was gracious enough to address them. For the survey, he sent an e-mail questionnaire to 750 people on the Hartman media list. That list was compiled by hand, with the addition of hundreds of names from the American Jewish Press Association’s past, present and prospective membership lists. He also “asked people to forward it around, and it did receive some play in social media.” All in all, Abbey received 113 responses, which several sources told me is a good response rate for an “expert questionnaire.”

Does this survey represent the Jewish media accurately? Nearly one-quarter of survey respondents identify themselves as Orthodox Jews — that’s much higher than the general Jewish population. But Abbey is “confident the data are representative of Jewish media professionals,” after making some effort to verify its validity. For example, “from about 50 responses on up to the end, I did partial data runs, and overall, responses did not change significantly from 50 to 70 to 100 to 113 responses overall.” That “the group of journalists doesn’t mirror the overall population exactly” is not a surprise. Abbey expected an “older, more educated, and more Jewishly connected” group.

Here are some of the highlights:

• Jewish journalists are highly engaged in Jewish religious life. More than one-third say they attend synagogue at least once a week — that’s a lot. There are many Orthodox, as I mentioned, and little representation for Reform (13 percent).

• Jewish journalists have a deep connection to Israel; they care about it, think it’s meaningful for Jewish identity, travel to Israel.

So, either the survey doesn’t quite represent the Jewish media, because of sample bias (the survey is based on voluntary response on the internet, and there’s no data with which to verify its accuracy). Or Jewish journalists don’t quite reflect the community on which they report and for which they toil.

Of course, that these journalists have “high levels of Jewish knowledge and Jewish self-identification” and that “they are truly committed to Jewish community life” makes journalistic ethics more complicated. How does one report even-handedly on a community to which he is highly committed? Abbey is troubled — admittedly more than I am — by the ethics of Jewish media. “The survey results showed confused attitudes toward ethics among survey respondents and raised questions, at least, about their knowledge of generally accepted journalism ethical standards and their willingness to be governed by them.”  Apparently, “survey respondents were more likely than their American counterparts to agree with statements that journalism ethics depend on specific situations and that journalism ethics are a matter of personal judgment rather than a matter of generally accepted standards.”

I’m not sure if the issue here has anything to do with the Jewishness of the media. It’s possible that these are differences of opinion regarding the way people should handle their affairs: a stricter, more formal adherence to “standards” versus a more elusive “personal judgment.” Clearly, the “standards” way is the safer route, but the “judgment” way is more flexible and challenging. If Jewish journalists prefer the latter approach — and as long as they actually think about the ethics of their coverage of stories — I see no reason for much concern.

I was struck by one of the questions in the survey: Should Jewish journalists have a Code of Ethics that takes Jewish values into account? “Survey respondents were evenly divided on whether a Code of Ethics for Jewish journalists should take Jewish values into account,” the report states. But what does it mean to “take Jewish values into account”? I wonder what “Jewish values” respondents were thinking about when they agreed/disagreed with the suggestion for a Jewish “code of ethics” for Jewish journalists.

Last but not least: The report dwells at some length on the question of Jewish media and Jewish “leadership.” Only 40 percent of the journalists “reported that they strongly or somewhat agreed with the statement that the local Jewish community leadership understands and respects the independence of local Jewish media.” In one of its key recommendations, the report says: “Jewish community leaders need education about the need for a vigorous and independent Jewish media.” I beg to differ: One of the key tenets of free media is that it operates without much regard to what “leaders” and “institutions” and “movements” and “organizations” think about it. Being independent means that you don’t care much if “community leaders” respect your independence or not. In fact, it might be better for the relations between the “leaders” and the “journalists” to be somewhat tense. It might be possible that this issue is where the report itself — understandably — starts getting confused, as it doesn’t properly separate between journalism and the established community.


Shmuel Rosner is senior political editor at the Jewish Journal.

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Netanyahu, coalition partner Bennett at odds over peace talks

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Israel was ready to enter serious peace negotiations with the Palestinians, while his coalition partner Naftali Bennett said a pact would lead to more violence.

“Our fervent hope is for peace, a genuine peace that can be achieved only through direct negotiations without preconditions,” Netanyahu said at the start of a meeting Tuesday morning with Georgian Prime Minister Bidzina Ivanishvili. “We’re ready to enter such negotiations. I hope the Palestinians are, too.”

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is scheduled to arrive in Israel later this week in a bid to bring the two sides back to the peace table.

Bennett, head of the Jewish Home party, told Israel Radio Tuesday morning that a peace agreement with the Palestinians would lead to more rocket attacks and rock throwing.

“If you look at when there’s violence, it follows peace agreements,” Bennett said. “The public sometimes forgets, but an overwhelming majority of the Palestinian public voted for Hamas.”

He added that he “won’t oppose negotiations” as long as there are no preconditions.

The Palestinians have called for a freeze on construction in the settlements and the release of Palestinian prisoners in Israeli jails before they will return to the negotiating table.

On Tuesday morning, chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erekat said the Palestinians were ready to start talking and had never demanded preconditions in order to return to negotiations.

Erekat told Army Radio that he was asking the Israelis for an agenda for the negotiations, not preconditions.

“If you say no to the ’67 border, no to Jerusalem, no to refugees, no to the military, what is there to negotiate with you about?” he said.

The Palestinian Authority denied a report Monday on Israel’s Channel 2 that P.A. President Mahmoud Abbas was prepared to resume talks.

Bennett also told Israel Radio that the Israeli public wants the government to concern itself with economic issues, not peace negotiations.

“The public elected us to invest in economic and social issues, to lower the cost of living, and not in cocktails in Oslo,” he said.

Bennett said he opposed more withdrawals and instead called for joint economic development with the Palestinians.

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Daddy Cake

One of the wonderful things about asking those we love, those who have cooked for us for a recipe, is that it always comes with a story.  

I asked Aunt Ruth for a cake recipe, and I learned all about how her mother made “Daddy Cake” for her father every week.  His own cake!  She made another one for the family and all those known for stopping by their warm and welcoming duplex apartment for conversation, cake, or challa!  A great recipe for learning about family is to ask for one or two or ten and sit back and listen.  It is delicious oral history!  

Here's the recipe for Daddy Cake….please let me know how you liked it.  What's your family's favorite?

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When the conflict becomes a routine

This week, I came across a story that drew my attention: missiles were fired from Gaza into southern Israel. I came across this story from a Facebook status of a friend, and later noticed that it got a very minor coverage in the morning paper the following day.

When I noticed this, the first thing that came to my mind was “well, it's not a big deal,” but after I let those words echo in my mind, something really bothered me:  why isn't it a big deal to us anymore?! What has happened to us, that when people are being hurt from this conflict, that we see it as a part of a routine of some sort and just go on with our lives? Have we come to a completion with this hurtful conflict?

I don't know what has become of us, that we are willing to let such stories slide. We read about yet another attack on Israel, in courtesy of a terror organization, sigh, and turn to “liking” our friend's new profile picture. Perhaps in time we've become comfortably numb. We know that dwelling on such events will get us nowhere, because we know that this conflict will never end. We sometimes refuse to admit this, but by doing it, we, the majority, simply clear the stage for the extreme minorities, and for both governments, who, for some reason, seem to prefer the continuity of this conflict.

Israel is not that old, only 65. And not too long ago, before there were Smartphones and individualism to keep us busy, people here fought with their lives for this right to live here. Now, 65 years later, Israel is still fighting for its existence, and the other side wants a state of its own. At the same time, people from all over the world are working very hard to delegitimize our home. This time, we are smarter than we were back then. We know better than to start a war. We've learned to use diplomacy, and to sit and talk. But instead of taking action, we are counting on others to talk for us, and not doing the talking ourselves. We take events such as the ones above for granted, and go on with our lives, as if there is nothing left to do to improve the reality we are living in.

We cannot look away and ignore. Not now, not ever. Our reality is tiring, I know, but this cannot be the end, because otherwise, it would soon be impossible to fix what is broken. Missiles being fired on Israeli civilians cannot be accepted as yet another day in Israel. We cannot leave this conflict to our children, because three generations dealing with it are enough.

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