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April 21, 2010

A Jewish Value That Has Influenced My Radio Show

In 28 years as a radio talk-show host, I have not consciously humiliated a single person — whether a caller to my show or a public figure.

And I give the credit to Judaism.

One of the best things that 14 years in yeshiva gave me was a keen appreciation of the sin of humiliating another human being. At a very young age, I was taught to memorize the Hebrew dictum “hamalbin et pnei chavero barabim, k’eelu shafach damo.” It means, “Whoever humiliates another person is considered as if he killed him.”

I cited the original Hebrew in order to explain how deep the Jewish thought on this matter runs. The literal meaning is that whoever “whitens [malbin] the face” … is considered as if he “spilled his blood” [shafach damo]. The play on words is brilliant — the blood drains from the face of the humiliated person, and that is how one figuratively “spilled his blood,” the Torah’s term for murder.

This emphasis on not humiliating anyone is itself a subcategory of Judaism’s larger emphasis on preserving the dignity of the individual human being. There are myriad laws concerned with preserving individuals’ dignity. One example: Equally poor people are not to be given equal amounts of charity. In Jewish law, a poor man who had been wealthy receives more money than the poor man who was always poor. Dignity is one reason (the relatively greater amount of suffering is the other). This law disturbs many contemporary Jews for whom equality is the greatest value. But for Judaism, the preservation of an individual’s dignity is of greater value than the pursuit of equal economic status.

It is sometimes even greater than truth-telling. Thus, we are obligated to tell a bride that she looks beautiful, even if we do not believe it.

From the day I started on radio, I realized how easy it would be to violate this fundamental principle of Judaism. When the rabbis came up with the dictum equating humiliating a person with killing him they could not have imagined a time when one person could humiliate another before millions of people at one time. Yet, of course, that is exactly what a broadcaster can do.

When Monica Lewinsky was at the center of national attention for her affair with President Bill Clinton, radio and television personalities routinely told jokes about her. I never joined in and forbade my callers to repeat these jokes on my show. I have never understood why being a public personality invalidates the stricture against humiliating people.

I wish that all people who work in the news media had studied this Jewish law. Recall how the media humiliated Richard Jewell, the man erroneously charged by news media, not by authorities, with planting a bomb at the Atlanta Olympics. News commentators routinely humiliated him for, among other things, living with his mother.

Because of the Jewish preoccupation with preserving people’s good name, I have frequently written and broadcast about what I call the “rape of a name.” The rape of a name can be as damaging to a man as the rape of a body can be to a woman. That is why I was furious when the woman who charged members of the Duke University lacrosse team with raping her was never punished for her lie. I likewise find it reprehensible that the Rev. Al Sharpton never served a day in jail and continued to command the media’s respect after he was found guilty of helping perpetuate 15-year-old Tawana Brawley’s lie that she had been raped by six white men. Sharpton even accused Steven Pagones, an assistant district attorney involved in the case, with being one of the rapists and a racist. The charges cost Pagones his reputation and his marriage.

One reason I opposed Al Franken’s candidacy for the U.S. Senate was his engaging in such behavior — as in his titling one of his books “Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot.” I always found mocking a person’s weight immoral and have identified such behavior with lowlifes, not to mention incompatible with serving as a U.S. senator. Apparently a bare majority of Minnesotans disagreed.

Many Jews think that Judaism’s way of “repairing the world” is to be politically active and take what they consider to be correct positions on social issues. A lifetime of studying and teaching Judaism has led me to a different conclusion. As a general rule, the Jewish way to repair the world is to engage first and foremost in repairing one’s own character and doing good on an individual basis. An excellent place to begin is by preserving the dignity of other human beings, even those one opposes politically. That is much harder, but usually much more beneficial to the world, than engaging in political activism.

Dennis Prager is a nationally syndicated radio talk-show host, columnist, author and public speaker. He can be heard in Los Angeles on KRLA (AM 870) weekdays 9 a.m. to noon. His Web site is dennisprager.com.

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Lonely Man of Faith

Imagine an 11-year-old kid who wakes up in the middle of the night to berate a group of grown-ups who are saying things he disagrees with. This is what my friend Rabbi Chaim Seidler-Feller did. It was past midnight, after a long Friday night Shabbat meal, in his childhood home in Brooklyn’s Borough Park neighborhood. His parents and some of their friends were talking about the need to support the new State of Israel, which was then in its infancy.

Something about the conversation bothered the young Chaim. So he got up, walked over to the living room where the grown-ups were schmoozing, and told them: “If all of you were such strong Zionists, you wouldn’t be here right now, you’d all be in Israel!”

He’s been getting in trouble ever since.

He remembers when he was in high school being the lone voice at the Shabbat table arguing against the Vietnam War. A few years later, as a student at Yeshiva University protesting the nuclear arms race, he annoyed more than a few people by pulling stunts like displaying a huge mushroom cloud outside his dorm window.

This is a man who loves his freedom of speech. There’s never a bad time for him to jump into a debate. The other day in his office at UCLA Hillel, where he is the longtime executive director, he was answering two phone calls at once and rushing to get ready for a speaking engagement. But when I said something about the crisis in the Middle East that bothered him, he dropped everything and started debating.

This predisposition to speak up has served him well. When he dreamed many years ago of creating the most beautiful Hillel center in the country, he talked it up to everyone who would listen — philanthropists, community leaders, architects, UCLA authorities, alumni, students and even the owners of Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, who couldn’t resist his appeals and eventually agreed to open a cafe inside the center.

The center, which opened eight years ago and is named after the late Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, reflects Seidler-Feller’s penchant for pluralism and freedom of expression. There are students playing pool downstairs, while others study the Talmud upstairs. On Friday night, he has initiated something that you will rarely see in America: three simultaneous prayer services — one Orthodox, one Conservative and one Reform.

This is one of the contradictions in Seidler-Feller. Normally, people who are so tolerant and pluralist are pretty easygoing. It’s the “live and let live” attitude — you do what you do, and I’ll do what I do.

Yet Seidler-Feller is anything but easygoing. He’s intolerant of intolerance. His big thing is passionate pluralism. Pluralism, for him, is not a lame surrender to reality or a polite euphemism for disengaging.
Rather, it’s an enlightened way of bringing out the best in individuals for the collective good. Seidler-Feller himself is an Orthodox Jew who wears a kippah and prays three times a day, and he does have his boundaries: He once declined to officiate at the marriage of a friend who is a major Hollywood celebrity because he doesn’t marry interfaith couples.

But don’t get him started about imposing his Orthodox ways. That’s not what turns him on. What turns him on is learning — learning everything you can about the Jewish tradition and choosing your own path. It’s a passionate pluralism based on meaning and knowledge. He has seen the significant contributions that so many non-Orthodox scholars have made to Jewish life, and he’d like nothing more than for the thousands of Jewish students who have passed through Hillel over the years to choose their way of continuing that tradition.

Sometimes I think that he must be terrified at the possibility of mind control —  of being told what to read, what to think or what to say. So he transfers this fear to others.

Maybe this is why our relationship has survived a thousand arguments on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It doesn’t bother him that I have my own views. He might disagree vehemently with a lot of what I say, but, somehow, I feel he’s enjoying the process. Beyond the argument itself, he sees something bigger: two Jews exercising their freedom of speech, not to attack or verbally abuse, but to express their independent views.

Seidler-Feller’s outspoken nature has made for an interesting but complicated life. He seems to always be in one struggle or another. While his favorite struggles are intellectual, lately they have also been physical, as he’s had to deal with chronic back pain. He finds strength in Psalm 92, which talks of proclaiming God’s “steadfast love at daybreak” and His “faithfulness each night.” He says this Psalm renews his optimism every morning, when anything is possible. But then, after a typical day of struggle that often humbles him, it also renews his faith in God every night.

On the night of May 5, at the Sephardic Temple Tifereth Israel in Westwood, my friend Chaim, with his wife, Doreen, will be honored for their 36 years of service to Hillel and to our community. People from all over whose lives have been touched by the Seidler-Fellers will come to honor them and say a few words.

I have no idea what Chaim will say that night, but I hope he’ll never stop waking up to challenge the grown-ups.

David Suissa is the founder of OLAM magazine and OLAM.org. You can read his daily blog at suissablog.com and e-mail him at suissa@olam.org.

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Biking Jewish L.A.

Boys from YULA yeshiva high school took a 25-mile bike tour of Jewish Los Angeles with their teacher, Rabbi Eliyahu Stewart, a grandfather who rides his bike 50 to 60 miles a week. The December ride took the group of ninth-, 10th- and 11th-graders through West Adams, Boyle Heights and old neighborhoods around USC.
Stewart believes that he met his objective for the tour, which was “to be able to give my students a sense of what came before them in terms of the Jewish community of L.A. as well as expose them to some really interesting parts of the city.”

The boys saw the original locations of many current institutions that have since moved west, such as Beth Jacob Congregation and Sinai Temple, as well as former mikvehs and the Breed Street Shul.

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Etta Israel Center Lauds Volunteers

The Etta Israel Center honored three young volunteers for their work in helping students with special needs. The Jan. 9 gala at the California Science Center recognized Esther Levine, Daniel Schwartz and
Rita Miller Statman for the time they’ve put in as one-on-one counselors at camp, weekend retreats and holiday programming for children and young adults with special needs.

Schwartz, who has cerebral palsy, has been both a client and volunteer at Etta Israel and is currently enrolled in the Pathway Program at UCLA Extension, a two-year certificate program for students with developmental disabilities. Last year, Schwartz received the Safeway Community Hero award for his work at Etta Israel, volunteering at the Roxbury Park Senior Center and serving as president of a local chapter of Best Buddies, a community that helps people with intellectual disabilities.

Etta Israel has inclusion programs and self-contained classrooms at Jewish schools for children with educational and developmental special needs; three residential homes for adults in the Valley; summer camps and other recreational activities staffed mostly by teen volunteers and a support program aimed at the Iranian Jewish community.

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