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February 12, 2010

Valentine’s Day poll: Israel’s senior citizens still having regular sex

A poll in honor of Valentine’s Day on the Hebrew-language Web portal Motke, which caters to seniors, shows that around 50 percent of senior citizens have sex at least once a week.

Ilana, a 71-year-old former educator, says the figure does not surprise her. “I see this more in senior citizens’ homes when I visit friends, where people are still looking when they are 80 or 90, and women who are courted are very pleased,” she says.

“Today life is longer. There is the Internet, which offers a world of possibilities. And women our age are exercising, doing yoga, dieting, doing various cosmetic surgeries – everything to look better and continue to live well.”

Read the full story at HAARETZ.com.

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Searching for Backbone

The Los Angeles City Council ought to send a thank you note to Sen. John Edwards, the New Orleans Saints, Sarah Palin and the TeaParty folks for sucking up much of the PR oxygen over the past week. If it weren’t for those stories, much of LA might be completely pre-occupied with wondering how we elected a group of officials who blithely pretend that LA isn’t facing what is undoubtedly its worst financial crisis since the Depression.

Last week, the Council—-to the amazement of most observers of the local scene—-failed to cut the city budget despite the Mayor’s and the city’s Chief Administrative Officer’s (“CAO”) unquestioned warning that financial disaster was imminent. There is a budget gap of $218 million for this fiscal year and a projected $484 deficit for next year.

The CAO urged that 1,000 jobs be cut—-there is virtually no other place to find the savings necessary to keep us solvent. There is no question as to the scope and depth of the crisis—-everyone acknowledges it. There is only a shocking unwillingness on the part of a large majority of the council to demonstrate the political backbone to make very difficult and, possibly, unpopular choices.

The crisis is so profound that Mayor Villaraigosa, a product of the labor union movement and hardly one prone to eliminate public employee positions out of animus for public workers, has been forced to act in the face of the Council’s inertia. He announced plans to make the 1,000 employee cutbacks unilaterally and warned this week that even more may be needed.

We are by nature optimists; we’ve thought that given adequate information and the opportunity to make the right choices, most elected officials will act responsibly and appropriately; after all, most of them are there because they care about the common good.
How much more so, we’ve thought, when crisis looms—-when the abyss is before us—- surely electeds will suck it up and do the right thing. Boy, were we wrong!

Whether in Sacramento or now in the City Council, the capacity of elected officials to avoid making tough decisions that require a modicum of leadership seems boundless. Clearly too many of our leaders would prefer that someone else take the heat and do their dirty work so that they can go back to their funders and say, “see, I didn’t buckle, I’m your real friend!”

The posturing of Councilpersons Hahn, Koretz and Alarcon has been especially tough to take seriously—-they offer no remedies, they just want to protect every city job they’ve ever seen (assuming the members are in the favored unions) and not be concerned about the consequences of their position.

Over fifty years ago John F. Kennedy wrote a Pulitzer Prize winning book, Profiles in Courage, in which he wrote about political leaders who were willing to make tough choices—-even at the cost of their political careers—-because of the public good they were sworn to serve. 
A man does what he must—-in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures—-and that is the basis of all human morality..…each man must decide for himself the course he will follow. The stories of past courage can define that ingredient—-they can teach, they can offer hope, they can provide inspiration. But they cannot supply courage itself. For this each man must look into his own soul.

Other than Councilpersons Parks, Smith and Perry, our leaders have been AWOL; unwilling to demonstrate even a little bit of the “courage” that Kennedy wrote about.

Would that our local leaders would do a bit of soul searching and summon up just a touch of backbone—-the city sure needs it.                     

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Friday Food Days Part 4

Most of my essays have been introspective this week. So to give my readers a little relief, I have composed a list of the top ten mistakes I have made in my kitchen:

1. Added a cup a salt instead of a cup of sugar. This isn’t so bad, but I was making chocolate chip cookies- ya I know. (And yes, this mistake runs in the family)
2. First week I was married, I made 3 boxes of spaghetti and 4 pounds of meat sauce.  I was so accustomed to cooking for 7 siblings and 2 parents, that I had no idea how to cut down my portions for only 2.  We ate spaghetti for a loooong time.
3. Left to carpool with the broiler on.  When I came back the house was filled with smoke.  The alarm was blasting.  I would have been disappointed that my grilled eggplant was now charred ash, but we got a visit from the fire department.  The good-looking ones so it was a wash.  My sisters and I now regularly “broil” things with lipstick on and a good-looking apron.
4. Boiled a bunch of eggs. This would have been a normal thing to do, but I had re-boiled my already boiled eggs.  Funny how boiled and raw eggs look exactly alike.  Thanks to my kid’s science fair project I found out the trick, something about spinning them clues you in to the raw vs boiled egg.
5. On Passover I was on the phone and began peeling potatoes.  The recipe only called for six. I peeled thirty.  It didn’t go to waste, but I did need to get creative.
6. Hammered my chicken fillets using a frying pan.  Seems like a good idea, but I had managed to spray salmonella all over the kitchen. No amount of bleach could possibly prepare me for this experiment. Next time I was smart and put my chicken fillets in a plastic bag before going to town on them.
7. Made a milkshake in the blender. Without the lid on. Need I say more?
8. Accidentally added caraway seeds to the top of my challah dough since I ran out of poppies.  This turned out to be one mistake that was ingenious!  Now I put caraway seeds on my challah every week and everyone comments on how incredible the taste is.
9. Put my ice cream in the fridge. We refroze it, but it was never the same.
10. Asked my family what they wanted for dinner. Number one mistake. Never ask anyone what they want you to make them or you wind up being a short order cook with a dozen orders. 

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Fake Holocaust claims discovered at Claims Conference

The Claims Conference fired three employees for approving fake Holocaust claims.

The dismissals occurred last week, and the federal government has launched an investigation, according to the New York Jewish Week. The Claims Conference said it’s not clear whether the employees simply were negligent or willfully sought to defraud the German government, which pays the compensation. The group would not reveal the names of those fired. While the full amount of the fraudulent claims is not yet known, officials already have identified fake claims in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.

“The German government was defrauded,” said Gregory Schneider, the Claims Conference’s executive vice president. “No money was taken from Holocaust survivors,” he said. “This was done by very sophisticated persons or a group whose aim it was to defraud.”

Schneider said he had hired an outside auditor to investigate after two fraudulent claims were submitted within two weeks of each other. The group then turned over the findings to the U.S. attorney’s office.

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G-dly Sense of Humor

I am convinced that G-d has a mischievous sense of humor. It is based on scientific fact.  Well not science, but I’m pretty sure the observations that I have had in my lifetime would prove this theory beyond a shadow of a doubt. How else can you explain G-d’s decision to put difficult people in our lives which potentially cause us myriads amount of grief that can challenge our emotional well being, creating so much havoc that we have three choices with how to cope?
1. Run. 
2. Stay in conflict and become a drama addict.
3. Or find a way to turn it around. Learn from the very person who has been thrust on you by forces of nature that seem to be beyond playful comprehension and then find compassion for yourself and the person who is causing you pain.

See?  This just screams mischievous sense of humor. But I also believe, this sense of humor is there to teach us a valuable lesson. 

When you are standing at the edge of your bottom looking into your abyss as a result of the very human being who has caused you to stand there, it can become a fortuitous moment for you to learn true enlightenment and self- refinement. And you’ll have no choice but to believe G-d’s sense of humor is at its best.  For how else can we make sense of the challenging personalities that has been our source of therapy, avoidance, or chronic drugs, alcohol, food or sleep- then with the theory that G-d must have the best sense of humor EVER by giving us the exact person at inconvenient moments with highly difficult agendas to torment us beyond recognition? 

But, if you take the time to examine those difficult personalities that you spend much time being frustrated by, you will ultimately come to notice those personalities are the very ones you need the most, for they are the very personalities that have the ability to shape your greatest moments of triumph. It might not seem funny to us, but G-d is probably having a hay day watching from above and laughing at how silly we are for not realizing his genius!

This week in my ongoing Torah class…..

(Yes, I really do have one of those.  I think it might be a law that if one marries a Rabbi you automatically are given a classroom with your name on it.  Like if you marry a doctor you are automatically handed a swivel chair behind the desk of a doctor’s office that starts your day with “Hello, Dr. So and So’s office please hold”. ) 

……. we discussed the fact that our greatest conflicts can be the window into the greatest lessons of our lives.  I had asked each person to look at a recent conflict and then put themselves and their latest adversary in a glass room.  Become the host of their own show.  Leave the room.  Watch the conflict detached.  (I hope you are all doing this in your own minds right now.)  Try to mix it up by finding clear compassion and empathy for your adversary.  Now take the side of yourself and find a way to have compassion and empathy for the person sitting in the chair that looks like you.  It is not you, remember, you are the host.  Before you know it, you will have the opportunity to see that the very person causing this pain has been planted in your life for an opportune purpose.  The purpose of allowing you to grow and to reveal something about yourself you never thought you knew.  Most probably the person causing you this pain is a reincarnation of previous personalities you have dealt with many times in the past but G-d has a sense of humor and felt the need to repeat this personality in your life yet again. 

Maybe this person is there to remind you of how not to be, or how to find patience, or to seek forgiveness for yourself, or to impart the lesson of how not to be vain or petty. 

Personally, I’d like to thank G-d for his constant ha ha in planting the difficult personalities that I have had to learn from at the most relevant yet inconvenient moments.  And I will spend the rest of my week pondering on how funny it must be for G-d when I don’t take these experiences as the gifts that they are.  Maybe if I realize the lesson in it once and for all, I won’t get a revisit of it later. Although sometimes, I would just rather complain about those difficult people then learn from it all, but where’s the humor in that? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Gastric Banding is an Effective Option for Obese Teens

What’s my advice to my overweight patients?  Eat less and exercise more.  I give this advice every day, but following this advice is much harder than giving it.  Overweight people frequently struggle with diet and exercise for years, sometimes successfully, sometimes regaining their previously lost weight.

And as we become more overweight as a nation, obesity is no longer just a problem for adults.  Over 5 million adolescents are estimated to be obese in the US, which predicts bad things for their likelihood of developing diabetes, high blood pressure and other health problems.  Being an obese teen can also be a serious social and psychological burden.  Anyone who remembers adolescence knows that teens aren’t always accepting, nurturing and ethical peers.

I’ve written in the past about the slowly amassing scientific evidence that surgery for obesity has definite health advantages over continued attempts at diet and exercise.  This week, that evidence is extended to adolescents.

A study published in this issue of The Journal of the American Medical Association enrolled 50 teenagers between 14 and 18 years of age with a body mass index (BMI) higher than 35.  (For a person who is 5 feet 8 inches tall, a BMI of 35 means a weight of 235 lb.)  The enrolled teens also had to have been attempting to lose weight through diet and exercise for more than 3 years.

The teens were randomized to two groups.  One group underwent laparoscopic gastric banding.  In this surgery, an inflatable plastic belt is wrapped around the upper part of the stomach, decreasing how much food can be ingested.  In post-operative follow up the band can be adjusted by inflating or deflating it, thereby calibrating how much it constricts the stomach.  The second group was randomized to a supervised lifestyle intervention involving an individualized diet plan and a structured exercise program.  The groups were followed for two years.

The results were dramatic.  The group that underwent gastric banding lost an average of 76 lb over two years, compared to an average 7 lb in the lifestyle modification group.  The group that underwent gastric banding also had a higher quality of life and improvement in other health-related measurements.

The authors were quick to caution that gastric banding is no “quick fix”.  Patients still have to eat differently and be willing to have periodic follow up, potentially forever.  The authors still recommend diet and exercise as the first choice for weight loss.  But now for the many teens who do not lose weight after many attempts, there is a proven alternative.

Learn more:

Wall Street Journal article:  ” target=”_blank”>Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding in Severely Obese Adolescents

Important legal mumbo jumbo:
Anything you read on the web should be used to supplement, not replace, your doctor’s advice.  Anything that I write is no exception.  I’m a doctor, but I’m not your doctor despite the fact that you read or comment on my posts.  Leaving a comment on a post is a wonderful way to enter into a discussion with other readers, but I will not respond to comments (just because of time constraints).

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Would MLK Top His Gefilte Fish with Horseradish?

In 1968, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, one of the leading Jewish thinkers of the last century, invited Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to join him at his Passover Seder. We’ll never know what they would have talked about over all that matzoh and four cups of wine. But we know that the night before he was assassinated, Dr. King saw himself as Moses, viewing from the mountaintop the Promised Land that he would never enter. He presciently ended his speech by saying those famous two lines we all know by heart: “I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land!”

Dr. King gave that famous “Mountaintop” speech in Memphis, Tennessee, where he had been invited to speak by Reverend James Lawson, a leading figure of the Civil Rights movement and practitioner of non-violence, who at the time was helping to lead the Sanitation Workers Strike.

Why all this history? Because I’m excited to hear Reverend Lawson speak next month about the struggle for equality at “A View from the Mountaintop: Social Justice in the 21st Century.” The event also presents a new chapter in the long partnership between Jews and African-Americans, harkening back to Dr. King and Rabbi Heschel marching together from Selma to Montgomery. Organized by the Progressive Jewish Alliance, Reverend Lawson will be joined by Rabbi Sharon Brous and USC Professor Dr. Manuel Pastor to discuss, among other things, a present-day alliance between Jewish, African-American, and many other activists to fight for food justice in Los Angeles.

The campaign for food justice is a campaign for access to healthy food and market jobs that pay middle-class wages—neither of which are to be found among the shelves of processed foods in the small convenience and liquor stores that dot the ‘food deserts’ in Los Angeles. If you look at the distribution of supermarkets on a map, you’ll notice that large sections of the city—in South L.A., East L.A. and the northeast San Fernando Valley—are largely devoid of the large grocery stores that are abundant in other, more affluent, parts of the city. These food deserts are home to rates of diabetes and childhood obesity up to eight times higher than in areas like West L.A., and grocery workers in these neighborhoods earn, on average, roughly $8,000 less per year than their counterparts on the Westside.

There are a lot of complicated issues out there but this isn’t one of them. The legacy of Dr. King and Rabbi Heschel pushes us to solve this inequality. With a positive public-private partnership we can expand the grocery industry to all parts of the city and, over time, transform the physical and economic health of entire communities.

I’m looking forward to hearing what Reverend Lawson thinks about this issue, and what we can do to help bring this change about. Oh, and if anyone out there is wondering, I take my soy gefilte fish with plenty of horseradish (organic preferred).

A View from the Mountaintop: Social Justice in the 21st Century is presented by the Progressive Jewish Alliance on March 4, 2010 from 5:00-8:30pm at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles. You can find out more and purchase tickets for this community gala on their website: www.pjalliance.org.

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Fantasy Meets Reality

I wonder how many people can say they’ve shared a Sabbath dinner… with a New York Yankee.

I suspect those two things don’t turn up in the same sentence very often.

But recently I spent a Sabbath with a whole bunch of Yankees, and I’ll never forget it.

I’m just back from Yankees Fantasy Camp, at their spring training facility in Tampa, Florida.

When you’re a fan, Fantasy camp is the ultimate up-close-and-personal-experience you dream about. You wear the pinstripes. You play ball on the same field the pros do. You share the same clubhouse. And you meet the Legends… the old players… the guys you idolized as a kid, watching them on TV.

I’m a lifelong Yankee fan and for years I desperately wanted to go to Fantasy Camp. But I’m also an Orthodox Jew. I keep Kosher, and I observe the Sabbath. Fantasy Camp was always out of the question for me, because of the food, and because I’d miss the one event everybody waits for… the high point of the whole camp… the Dream game when the campers play the Legends. They do it on the last day of camp… Saturday.

But this year, the Bombers made some changes. To accommodate five or six Orthodox folks like me, the club brought in kosher food. They gave us our very own Kosher Dream game, on Wednesday. And best of all, they gave us Shabbat.

We had a synagogue set up in a small dining room, next to the fitness center. Friday evening we gathered, the kosher campers, their families, and a local rabbi. We lit the candles. We blessed the wine. We sang the prayers. We had our Sabbath meal. It felt very warm, friendly and familiar. And we had some special guests.

It’s a Fantasy Camp tradition that on Friday night the campers take the Legends out to dinner. But three Yankees came to our dinner first, before they went off to theirs. Ron Blomberg, a Yankee slugger from the 70’s and baseball’s first Designated Hitter, only now he calls himself the Designated Hebrew. Ron sat at our table, asked a lot of questions, and talked about growing up Jewish in the South, where some of his high school classmates were in the KKK.

Jesse Barfield was there too, dressed in his Sunday best. Jesse was a right fielder with a rifle arm. But on this night, he wasn’t talking baseball. Jesse spoke about the progress we’ve made in race relations. How much easier things were for him coming up, compared to the generation before. He also told us about the interracial marriages in his own family. “Color,” Jesse said, “doesn’t mean a thing to me. We’re all brothers.”

And Homer Bush. Homer’s a more recent legend… he played until 2005. Homer didn’t make a speech, but he sat with us, he put on a yarmulke and flashed a big smile. Sometimes you don’t need to say anything.

I remember looking around the room and thinking, this is surreal. This is impossible. After a week of hitting, running, throwing, spitting, cursing and scratching, The New York Yankees are helping me celebrate Shabbat!

I loved it!

You see, when you grow up Orthodox, you grow up separate. Just a little bit different, a little bit apart. You don’t go to friends’ houses for birthday parties, because the food’s not kosher. You don’t hang out with them on the weekends, because, on saturday, they’re playing ball, and you’re in the synagogue. You figure out very early, that you’re never going to be quite like everybody else. And although you’re proud of who you are, in the back of your head you can’t help wondering if the world sees you as slightly weird.

So just imagine how we kosher campers felt, when our world intersected with the Yankees world, and everybody went out of their way to include us, to accept us, and respect us. Just a bunch of good friends spending time together. I’ll treasure that forever.

Don’t get me wrong. The Dream Game was terrific! I lined a single off David Wells and got a fist bump at first base from Chris Chambliss. But, no doubt about it, the high point of my Fantasy Camp was our Sabbath together. And I know the feelings were mutual. The Sabbath ended just as the Awards banquet began. My fellow campers wanted me to sign their team photos. I explained the Sabbath still had a few minutes left. No problem. They waited. And at precisely the right moment, they put a pen in my hand.

Sunday morning Ron Blomberg and I rode the hotel shuttle back to the airport. As he got off at his terminal, Bloomie smiled and said, “Abe, I hope we see each other again. But if we don’t… I’m with ya!”

Me too, Ron. Thanks.

Thanks to all you guys.

Shabbat Shalom!

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Lessons I Uncovered Beneath the Haitian Rubble

Like millions of people around the world,  I have been following the tragedy in Haiti since the earthquake jolted the country just over a month ago. Although the media portrays a great deal of the devastation that has been visited on this poorest of Western nations, it wasn’t until I traveled to Haiti on a humanitarian relief mission that I truly understood just how severe the crisis really was.

Last Thursday night my father asked me if I wanted to join him on a visit to Haiti to donate relief supplies to an orphanage in Port-Au-Prince and to generally help in writing and broadcasting about Haiti’s devastation. We would leave Sunday night and return Wednesday morning. The idea sounded preposterous. How could we possibly go to a country that is in a state of emergency? A country where all hell has broken loose.  The offer sounded somewhat irrational, but I knew it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. If I thought about it I would probably decide against it. So I quickly agreed.

About 48 hours later I found myself sitting in the Santo Domingo airport sleep deprived and cranky, trying to figure out if this whole thing was still a good idea. We met up with our friend Glenn Megill, founder of Rock of Africa, an organization that feeds families in Zambia and Zimbabwe, along with his daughter and a photographer named Peter. After much haggling and miscommunication with a Dominican representative at Avis, we were finally able to rent our minivan and start our journey to Haiti. After driving nine hours on a windy gravel road, we finally reached the border. It was there that we got our first taste of the deprivation left by the earthquake. Thousands of people were waiting in the baking sun to try and get into the country with supplies.  We waited our turn until we were finally permitted to enter.  Two hours later we reached the Haitian capital.

Words cannot describe what we witnessed. Picture Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the atomic detonation, or Hamburg and Dresden after the devastating carpet-bomb raids delivered by the allied forces.  Picture the monstrous mounds of rubble, and the jagged edges of half-torn buildings marking every street with a sullen sign of death and destruction. Only this time the ineffable picture was not drawn any conflict or war, but came about through the sudden crush of nature alone.

Hundreds of thousands of people wandered the litter-strewn roads like zombies, their homes destroyed, many of their family members dead.  Perhaps the most devastating factor was that these people were so helpless. Haiti, already a poverty-stricken country, was now also in shambles. These people didn’t even have the means to get back on their feet if they wanted to. As we drove through downtown Port-Au-Prince, my heart grew heavier. I could not understand how G-d could have allowed such a calamity to take place. Why were so many innocent citizens lying in their graves beneath the rubble on the street, as people stumbled over them to find their way? Is the value of a life really that worthless? Did these humans really live in vain? The smell of death permeated the entire city, making us gag. Relief workers informed us that dogs had been coming during the night and consuming the decaying bodies, leaving behind piles of bones in the rubble.  In all honesty I felt as if this G-d-forsaken country had been doomed for all eternity, without any hope of salvation.

But in the midst of darkness there is always a beacon of light that shines through. My hope was restored the next day when we paid a visit to an orphanage called Child Hope, an organization run by a Christian family who left their home in California six years ago to devote their lives to rescuing suffering and abandoned children in Haiti. They have many volunteers who travel from US for months at a time to help in any way they can. Their love and devotion towards these children was incredible. They treated the orphans as if they were their own children and gave them opportunities that they could never receive growing up on the streets as most orphans in Haiti do. I sat with some of the Haitian girls who live there, laughing and talking about school and our favorite nail polish colors. They were a pleasure and their company inspired me. They were bright young women who didn’t wallow in any form of self-pity. Rather, they exhibited a zest for life and knowledge. They told me how they wanted to be doctors when they grow up.

We also went to the UN Base where we saw hundreds of doctors from all over the world united together in Haiti, all with the common goal of healing victims of the earthquake. You could hear every language spoken as doctors ran back and forth from tent to tent tending to the sick. I was especially proud of all the American volunteers both from the military and as well as random individuals who felt it was their duty to assist their Haitian brothers and sisters in this disaster.  One American volunteer introduced us to a three year old Haitian boy whose mother and sister had perished in the earthquake. The father was forced to amputate his own son’s hand in order to save him from the same terrible fate that his mother and sister had met. His father then walked ten miles, carrying him to the only hospital in the city hospital to get help. This American volunteer felt a connection with the boy and treated him almost like a younger brother, bringing him gifts and paying him visits daily.

Catastrophes such as the earthquake in Haiti are some of the darkest forces in nature. However, these same calamities also bring out the brightest qualities in humans who feel it is their duty to help others when they are needed.

You can’t go to Haiti and return the same person. You come back a little sadder, but a lot more inspired. You discover that even in the darkest of times when one cannot understand the meaning of terrible calamities, one can still make a difference with their own actions. We can’t understand why bad things happen to so many good people. However our personal decisions can make all the difference in improving their lot. Witnessing the effects of the earthquake in Haiti first hand has made me so much more sensitive toward those in need.

Mushki Boteach is an undergraduate at Yeshiva University’s Stern College for Women where she is majoring in public relations. She resides in Englewood, New Jersey.

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Dear Haredim, while you were sleeping, secular Jewish culture was thriving

At the Herzliya Conference, former Shas leader Aryeh Deri took part in a panel on education toward Jewish identity, and two of his points made it into the headlines. He said that until two centuries ago, religion simply was the Jewish culture. Since then, he says, secular Jewry has given us education but no culture, and he basically equated Jewish secular culture with reality TV. As a result, he thinks that the only common denominator for a dialogue on Jewish identity needs to be that God created the world and that the Torah was given to us by God. Everything else for him is barren.

I have thought for a long time that Deri is one of the most gifted politicians Israel has produced, tragically replaced by very mediocre men (women are out of the question in a Haredi party). And I was looking forward to his return to the political scene. Quite unfortunately, Deri’s remarks betray a characteristic of weakness in the Haredi camp: They simply haven’t realized that in the last 200 years new Jewish identities, including secular Jewry, have emerged, that culturally these ways of being Jewish have been enormously creative, that secular Jews are the largest sub-group of world Jewry and in Israel (around 40 percent), and that none of us even considers accepting his precepts about how to be Jewish.

Read the full story at HAARETZ.com.

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