fbpx

September 3, 2009

Anti-Semitic Graffiti Mars JLA Building

Rabbi Eyal Rav-Noy arrived at the Jewish Learning Academy on Pico Boulevard on Sunday morning, Aug. 23, to discover swastikas, along with a profanity written in mirror image, painted onto a door of the building. Rav-Noy reported the graffiti to the West Los Angeles division of the LAPD, which is investigating the incident.

The graffiti appeared to have been painted with a brush on the door of the men’s bathroom, which is in an outdoor corridor at the building’s back parking lot. Random brush strokes also marred other surfaces of the building, located west of Beverly Drive.

Rav-Noy had led Shabbat services there the previous day and confirmed that the graffiti was left sometime overnight. It is the first incident he has seen since he began leasing the space three-and-a-half years ago.

JLA, affiliated with Chabad, runs adult education and youth classes for those new to the Jewish tradition, and Rav-Noy leads Shabbat services peppered with explanations. Rav-Noy leases the ground floor of the building with his brother, Rabbi Michy Rav-Noy, director of the Friendship Circle, which pairs teen volunteers with special needs kids.

Anti-Semitic Graffiti Mars JLA Building Read More »

The Brew That Makes Sam Nazarian Tick

Sam Nazarian, the 34-year-old real estate mogul, is stuck at a stoplight in the Pacific Palisades when three pre-adolescent boys start screaming from the sidewalk.

“Ohmigod! That’s so sexy!” one of them shouts, reacting to Nazarian’s car. “That’s so sexy!” the boy cries, over and over, sounding hysterical as he bounces up and down. “That’s a Bugatti!” he yells to his friends, “It’s the fastest car in the world!”

Nazarian grins and shrugs it off. He’s used to hoi polloi ogling and coveting his very expensive toys. Pretty much everywhere we had been that day — from his fancy hotel to his beachfront restaurant to friend and former L.A. Laker Rick Fox’s Malibu birthday party — people had been photographing his car. It is the Picasso of sports cars, a $1.8 million masterwork Nazarian says is “faster than a Formula One race car.” Certainly anyone with even a mild knowledge of mechanics can appreciate its 16 cylinders, four twin turbos and top speed of 254 miles per hour, even though it’s the kind of thing more likely to be found in a collector’s garage than on the road. (Just ask Jay Leno, who keeps his locked up.)

“What are you, A DRUG DEALER?” the kid yells across the street.

Nazarian lets out a raucous, full-bellied laugh that sounds thoroughly hoarse from smoking too many cigarettes. He’s been called less flattering names. He looks at the kid and shouts through the window, “Are you Persian?” There’s a moment of camaraderie, then he drives away.

Nazarian is one of those people who inspire a certain amount of awe. He is CEO of SBE, the Los Angeles-based restaurant-hotel-nightclub-and-film company he created that is fast becoming a real-estate empire. He also comes from one of the most prominent Persian Jewish families in the world — his father, Younes Nazarian, is a co-founder of Qualcomm, making Sam one of the heirs to a fortune estimated at as much as $2 billion. He owns three hotels: the SLS — for “style, luxury, service” — in Los Angeles, the Sahara in Las Vegas and the Ritz Plaza, being developed on Miami Beach. What made him famous, though, were his opulent nightclubs on whose dance floors Paris Hilton and Britney Spears created tabloid gold. Hyde Lounge and Area are the only two currently operating, but over the years he’s been constantly opening, closing and reinventing a steady stream of of-the-moment nightspots — Shelter, Prey, Privilege, S-Bar and Foxtail among them. He also owns a collection of restaurants: the Japanese Katsuya, with locations in Brentwood, Hollywood and Glendale and a fourth opening this fall in downtown Los Angeles; XIV by Michael Mina; The Abbey in West Hollywood and The Bazaar by Jose Andres.

Just this summer, SBE took over management of the Four Points Sheraton at LAX and the beachfront icon, Gladstone’s of Malibu, adding an additional 700 to the company’s 3,000 employees. Next month, Nazarian will open a 13,000-square-foot club in Hollywood, and he says he is beginning negotiations on a hush-hush deal that includes a 15-hotel portfolio.

You might say he’s poised to become the next Conrad Hilton.

Nazarian’s youth is part of his cachet. In late July, he celebrated his 34th birthday. Twice. There was the bacchanalian pool party with 150 people, organized by his friends and hosted at his Hollywood Hills manse, to fit his public image. And, a few days later, there was a quieter affair on the garden terrace at SLS, on La Cienega, for the inner circle only — Nazarian’s family and closest friends — at which L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa “just dropped by,” teenage daughter in tow, to roast his newly appointed airport commissioner. Nazarian is both the youngest and the only Iranian American to serve on that board.

That he’s amassed large swaths of real estate, Hollywood celebrity and political consideration at such a young age has won him lots of attention. His success has been chronicled by The New Yorker, the Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, Business Week, Fortune, W and The New York Times, among others. He was named one of the 100 most powerful people in Southern California by Los Angeles Times Magazine, one of “the influentials” by Los Angeles Magazine, and has been labeled “The Wizard of Oz,” “The Emperor of Cool,” “Mr. Big” and “The Nightlife King.”

Crisis, notably the economic one, is something Nazarian has deftly avoided. In the past year, as pretty much everyone — wealthy or working class — has been pinching their pennies, Nazarian has been snatching up a variety of new properties. For him, the lousy economy presents opportunities for profit, and sure enough, his business is booming beautifully while less resilient, or less talented, businessmen crash and burn beside him.

Nazarian arrives at SLS on the Saturday morning after his birthday in the Bugatti. (He collects the world’s supercars; he now has seven; he once had 15.) He is a towering figure, a husky, 6-foot-4 with fleshy cheeks and a prominent nose. His black hair is slicked back, and he wears Ray-Ban aviators, a polo shirt and cargo pants with the words “Stay Rude” monogrammed on one of the pockets. The bad-boy image is appealing, but deceptive. He walks in with a flurry of energy, greets his staff and his guests with handshakes and lands at a table in serene calm. He orders a latte.

“Ever heard the myth you can’t freeze alcohol?” Nazarian asks me, referring to a production taking place at the next table. “Well, we do.” The waiter comes over, pours a mix of vodka and orange juice into a bowl and tosses in a heap of liquid nitrogen. Smoke billows out in a frivolous display and then I’m eating blood-orange screwdriver sorbet with espresso-bean garnish.

Nazarian takes a moment to marvel at his creation. “You spend your life trying to build a brand, and then it all comes together,” he says. “All the insecurities, all the nightmares, the not knowing, the struggles, deciding on a property that everyone said was the worst property in town.”

He lists their objections: “‘It’s across from a body shop; it’s on the wrong part of La Cienega.’ Like what the hell were we doing, right?” He looks around at the hotel’s outlandish decor. “It’s, like, so out there. Are people really going to embrace it? The people I want?” Then, “Opening at the worst possible time in human history, Dec. 4, 2008 … now, here it is, eight months later, and, literally, we’re the best performing hotel in L.A.”

Not everyone can open a hotel amid one of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression and then boast that it’s trumping the Four Seasons in occupancy.

“If this was 2007, we’d be killing it,” he says, admitting that reduced room rates at SLS have somewhat offset profit margins — a standard room is currently priced at $300 per night, when it might otherwise be $425. Then he declares that SLS’s restaurant, The Bazaar, which takes up the entire ground floor of the hotel, is “the best performing restaurant in L.A.” He has a penchant for hyperbole — almost everything he owns or admires is described in glowing terms: A restaurant is “iconic”; an idea “groundbreaking.” And lots of the time his claims are validated: The Bazaar was awarded four stars by L.A. Times food critic S. Irene Virbila last February, who wrote, “In the midst of this gloomy climate, The Bazaar arrives like fireworks bursting in the night.”

Right before the economy tanked, Nazarian shelled out somewhere between $300 million and $400 million to purchase the Sahara, a down-on-its-luck Vegas landmark he says he hopes to resurrect. Although it’s been eclipsed by more glamorous, modern hotels like the Bellagio and the Wynn, the Sahara remains legendary on the Strip — it was the sixth hotel to open there, in 1952, and once hosted The Rat Pack, Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich and Bobby Darin. Many in the business world thought Nazarian’s purchase naive, doubting that the newly minted developer could compete with Vegas tycoons like Steve Wynn, Sheldon Adelson and Kirk Kerkorian.

“I don’t have $3 billion to play with,” he admits. “I’m repositioning an asset, and everybody thinks I’m crazy, in an area of the Strip that everyone says is completely dead. But as soon as we went non-refundable on our deposit, MGM-Mirage bought the 26 acres across the street, and the whole area just exploded — so you look like a genius.” 

Nazarian says it didn’t bother him that right after the purchase, Las Vegas was crushed by the downturn. “I bought Sahara more for the asset, for the bones, so it really didn’t matter to me what Sahara was doing; I bought it for what it was going to do.” In fact, he says he had a hunch that the economy was headed south — people were being seduced by “stupid deals,” he said, and in 2007, he sold his family’s interest in 11 hotels.

“You know, they say in real estate, ‘You’re only as good as the deals you didn’t do, not the deals you did.’”

Nazarian was born in 1975 in Tehran, the youngest of four siblings. With the eruption of the revolution in Iran, his family moved briefly to Israel, then came to Los Angeles when Sam was 3. Younes had grown up poor in Tehran’s Jewish ghetto, worked in Israel in the 1950s, and then returned to Iran, where he and his brother, Parvis, made a fortune importing construction equipment. In Los Angeles, using money from their savings accounts in Israel, the Nazarian brothers purchased Standard Tool & Die. But their big break came when they invested in a communications company called Omninet, which later merged with the technology outfit Qualcomm. When Qualcomm went public in 1991, the Nazarian brothers, Qualcomm’s fifth and sixth largest shareholders, became billionaires.

Sam starting working when he was 12. Instead of summer camp, he worked the floor at his father’s factory, and throughout his youth held a variety of odd jobs: cleaning toilets at a deli in Century City, selling tickets to Ripley’s on Hollywood Boulevard and, as a teen, selling antiques at his maternal uncle’s Manhattan store.

For Nazarian, these experiences were so formative that in his mind he didn’t grow up pampered, he grew up working class.

“I’d work with Dominicans and get disgustingly dirty and sweaty, and I loved it,” he says, as we zip past the estates on Sunset Boulevard. “I didn’t grow up in posh Beverly Hills mansions; I grew up with guys from Staten Island — Domingo, Santiago, Isaac — guys making $50 a day, wearing the same clothes three days in a row. Day laborers,” he says resolutely. “Those were my summer playmates.”

Yet, the rest of the year he went to Beverly Hills High School, where he made a name for himself as a sports bookie and a jock. Deals, more than academics, were his calling, and in college, he bounced from NYU to University of Denver and finally USC, before dropping out.

[continued onto the next page]

The Brew That Makes Sam Nazarian Tick Read More »

Cooperation and Consolidation Needed on Jewish Web

“The Internet will save you!” seems to be the refrain these days when it comes to the American Jewish media. But while many Jewish newspapers have grabbed for this lifeline, the process has been hectic and uncoordinated. We may be trying to save ourselves, but right now we’re floating around in private digital lifeboats, bailing water for dear life.

Where has this strategy gotten us? Where do we go from here?

To answer those questions, my company, 4Wall, in conjunction with its Jewish initiative, JInsider, recently released a report titled, “The Jewish Internet Metric Study,” which takes a business-oriented, top-level look at the Jewish Web. With this “McKinsey-style” analysis, the community can fully understand the business issues, the competitive situation and the hurdles and opportunities for sustainability on the Web. The report offers a basis for productive discussion on what individual or cooperative strategy might be considered.

The full report, which also includes analysis of Jewish educational and religious sites, and Jewish search terms, is available online at jinsiderblog.com/JIM.zip.

The problem for the American Jewish media is not quality of content — it’s scale and coordination. Just compare traffic and engagement patterns between several major Jewish news Web sites in the United States (JTA, The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles, The New York Jewish Week, Forward, Jewish Exponent and The Jewish Press) and the most popular English-language sites of Israeli newspapers (Ha’aretz and The Jerusalem Post).

For a Web site to be self-supporting, it is critical to attract a significant enough share of clicks to sell a wide range of ad packages. JPost.com and Haaretz.com have achieved a high level of visitation. But the findings of several traffic-analyzing sites (Mondo Times, Echo Media, Alexa and Compete) suggest Jewish media outlets in the United States are lagging behind.

JTA.org and JewishJournal.com are at the head of the American pack, yet no clearly dominant or go-to source for American Jewish news has emerged online. The sum of all the major U.S. Jewish news sites, however, does approach the level of traffic generated by the Israeli sites.

Beyond just unique site traffic, visitor engagement patterns (generated by Quantcast) also suggest the American Jewish news industry is too fragmented on the Internet. Not only do visitors spend significantly more time per visit when perusing the Israeli sites, but many more of those visitors are regulars (people who visit more than once per month) and addicts (people who visit more than 30 times per month). Because of this “addict” phenomenon, a quarter of the traffic to Haaretz.com and JPost.com is generated by just 2 percent of their users. In contrast, only JTA.org has any sort of measurable traffic generated by addicts — 11 percent. A better strategy for U.S. sites would involve more regular updates (not weekly or semi-regularly) and a wider and deeper offering to encourage habitual readership.

The full study goes into detail about linkage, referrals and social analytics, but the takeaway point is this: The American Jewish media need to coordinate and combine their assets online. The Web is a winner-takes-most environment where a brand has to be dominant or readers will click elsewhere. While JTA and The Jewish Journal are market leaders whose growth is outstripping their American competitors (together, their traffic grew 85 percent from 2008 to 2009), currently there is no dominant U.S.-based Web site — and thus no economically sustainable one.

All the newspapers can still offer the great niche local coverage they do best, but in terms of an online brand, no one paper is strong enough.

By combining and centralizing the Web presence of many of these brands, media outlets would create advantages that would extend beyond the basic aggregation of their traffic. A centralized U.S.-based news site would benefit from economies of scale, a greater ability to attract the best talent, and stronger ad sales. A dominant Web brand would also enjoy exponentially increased readership and engagement. Significant traffic from regulars and addicts would be within reach.

With that in mind, the following strategies should be considered immediately:

• Create a cooperating organization with sufficient multi-year funding to help coordinate and integrate Internet media assets.

• Launch a Huffington Post-style (no politics implied) central Jewish news site. This site will house local brands and local coverage, as well as serve as a focal point for national and international Jewish news. The Jewish Journal’s new Web site is a good example of a basic implementation of this strategy. There may be opportunity to build off it.

• Use this centralization to create a definable, trusted brand for Jewish news. As part of this brand, develop well-known columnists who will serve as experts and go-to sources for the secular media.

• Create an advertising and marketing platform for the main and cooperating sites. This will reduce the cost to reach the Jewish community en masse and increase ad sales.

• Cross-promote education sites with the Jewish news industry.

• Secure widget and content distribution on other key Jewish Web sites.

• Deploy efficient tools such as a centralized calendar and newsletter system.

The remaining question is how to accomplish these goals. Unlike Condé Nast, which recently hired the consulting firm McKinsey & Company to look at its business, the Jewish community has no lead family or centralized management team for consultation and execution. Lacking a clear organizing body, a feasible way to bring this vision to reality is through a graduated ladder of involvement, where media outlets move from sharing articles and links to sharing promotional ads to increasing multi-site ad packages to sharing common databases and information to sharing resources such as reporters and facilities. Ultimately, the increasing cooperation would culminate in the creation of a holding company bringing multiple entities under one organizational roof.

What the community definitely needs is action. We encourage funders and media stakeholders to use this study as impetus to get together now. We may be concentrated on bailing water from our own leaky lifeboats, but together our lifeboats could make one watertight ship, ready to steam us ahead.

Mark Pearlman is the founder of 4Wall and JInsider. To contact him about his new study, please send an e-mail to {encode=”connect@jinsider.com” title=”connect@jinsider.com”}.

Cooperation and Consolidation Needed on Jewish Web Read More »

Scottish Judge’s Misplaced Mercy Sends Wrong Signals to Iran

Did anyone doubt that the release of the Lockerbie mass murderer would wreak havoc on the hundreds of bereaved families of the victims of terror? Was there anyone on the planet who couldn’t have foreseen the hero’s welcome this thug received upon his arrival back in Libya? Simon Wiesenthal, a man who lost 89 members of his family during the Holocaust and spent the rest of his life trying to bring Nazi murderers before the bar of justice, spoke on the limited nature of justice when there are massive numbers of victims: “Who could even conceive of a revenge befitting a murderer responsible for the death of hundreds or thousands of innocents?” No, the best we can do, he would add, “is to pursue a measure of symbolic justice — since it is impossible to give each and every victim what they deserve — their own day in court….”

Now a judge in Scotland has robbed the victims of Pan Am Flight 103 of even their meager measure of justice. But this judge’s false compassion release has a real geopolitical price tag. It took four presidents and two decades to bring Muammar Qaddafi to heal. The Libyan strongman gave up his attempt to acquire nukes, accepted responsibility for the Lockerbie bombing and financially compensated the Pan Am Flight 103 families. Yet he remains a serial human rights violator both at home and abroad, trying Bulgarian nurses on trumped-up charges of spreading HIV and supporting suicide bombings against Israel. And despite the British-led, oil-based extreme makeover, the Libyan regime never changed at all.

Proof: Protests from the West did not strike fear into the heart of Qaddafi’s supporters, whose response to the U.S. request for the terrorist to be quietly deposited at home was the boisterous celebration on the tarmac. As Qaddafi gets ready to come to pitch his tent in New Jersey, he deserves not a warm reception but an international cold shoulder at the United Nations.

Meanwhile the mullahs in Tehran are upping the ante. They know that President Obama has made dialogue the cornerstone of his administration’s foreign policy, and that he urgently seeks direct talks with Iran to stop its nuclearization. But at what price? The United States did nothing to stand with the people of Iran during the Twitter Revolution. Instead, it signaled to Ahmadinejad that Washington accepted his bogus re-election, even as goons beat people in the street and disappeared them into prisons — some later released in caskets. And then there was Washington’s stony silence when Stalin-style show trials were satellite broadcast around the globe.

And now — as Americans await word on whether the Iranian president will again come to the U.N. General Assembly annual meeting next month — comes the latest bombshell from Ahmadinejad: His new, hand-picked defense minister is none other than General Ahmad Vahidi, who’s currently facing arrest, if Interpol can get its hands on him, for orchestrating the 1994 Buenos Aires Jewish community center suicide bombing attack that killed 85. Without question, this mass murderer will make an early trip on the Tehran-to-Caracas shuttle to deliver the latest instruments of terror and subversion to Hugo Chavez and his anti-American allies. Will the United States take the lead with Argentina at the Organization of American States (OAS) to seek this rogue general’s immediate arrest? Or will the mirage of substantive talks render the administration paralyzed yet again?

Speaking of testing our resolve, let’s not forget the North Korea regime that has played six presidents like a fiddle. While Americans were understandably relieved at Bill Clinton’s unorthodox diplomatic coup when he successfully returned from Pyongyang with two female captives, there was no excuse for the media hype bestowed upon Kim Jong Il for releasing from his prison gulag the innocent women he cynically took hostage in the first place.

So what’s a president to do? President Obama correctly called the Lockerbie outrage “a mistake.” But he should have taken a page out of Harry Truman’s game book. Obama has every right to “give hell” to domestic opponents of his health care reform — but the world needs to hear the same passion when the president is challenged by enemies of freedom abroad.

Thousands of years ago, the Talmud recorded these words: “One who is merciful to those who are heartless will end up being heartless to those who are merciful.” The Scottish court must have missed that reading assignment. But those ancient words offer sound advice to an American president seeking traction on 21st-century human rights.

Traditionally, Americans rely on our president to set the substance and tone of U.S. foreign policy. Most voted for Barack Obama precisely because they were convinced he was committed to engagement and dialogue. But those diplomatic skills must serve as means to a higher end. For if engagement alone is the goal, then we fail to advance our nation’s interests and instead end up bestowing legitimacy on tyranny.

Rabbi Abraham Cooper is associate dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center. Harold Brackman, a historian, is a consultant to the Simon Wiesenthal Center.

Scottish Judge’s Misplaced Mercy Sends Wrong Signals to Iran Read More »

A minyan grows up (sort of)

If I wanted to start a minyan, I think the last thing I’d call it would be a “happy minyan.” Seriously, how can you live up to that ideal every week? How can you not get exhausted by the constant pressure to deliver “happy”?

And yet, every time I’ve popped into the Happy Minyan, I’ve rarely seen an unhappy face. They take their davening seriously, yes, but mostly, they take it joyfully.

Go early on any Shabbat to their home inside the Karate Academy on Pico and check out their rhythm. Over several hours, you’ll be continuously interrupted by spontaneous eruptions of joy: intense chanting of Carlebach melodies, often accompanied by some form of un-choreographed dancing.

So how do they do it? How do you explain that after 14 years, the Happy Minyan hasn’t burnt out — in fact, that they’re as hot and as happy as ever?

It’s with this question in mind that I attended their first annual gala last week, dubbed “Evening Under the Stars.”

The mere notion that the Happy Minyan would have a fundraiser is, well, weird. Since their inception, their fundraising has followed a pattern similar to their davening: spontaneous eruptions of asking.

Can’t pay the rent this month? Let’s get up and sing and dance and say a few words of Torah and then will somebody please stand up and ask for a few bucks?

A few months ago, though, they started uttering words no one thought they’d ever hear at the Happy Minyan — words like “Event Co-Chairs” and “Dinner Committee.” Obviously, someone had decided it was time to grow up and raise money the old fashioned way: normally.

But rest assured, they haven’t gone all mainstream on us, as I can attest from their Evening Under the Stars. For one thing, I’ve been to a thousand fundraisers, but I’ve never felt like I was in the middle of a forest (the venue was the Gilmore Adobe, right next to Farmers Market).

The first person I met was comedian Avi Lieberman, who was asked to emcee the event a full day before the big night.

There were more than 200 guests at the event (among them many fans from B’nai David-Judea), and it seemed as if every guest got up at some point to speak or perform.

The organizers began by expressing their gratitude to the people who sheltered them in the early years: Rabbi Abner Weiss, who was chief rabbi of Beth Jacob Congregation when he offered them a home, in 1995, and Rabbi Gabriel Elias of Congregation Mogen David, who did the same thing several years later.

Other than that, nothing about the evening felt too normal. To give you an idea: Normally, the entertainment slows down when the dinner’s main course is served. Not here. Troubadour Peter Himmelman got up on stage while we were all chomping on chicken and barbequed brisket, and asked if we could “please continue chewing, preferably in tune with the music.”

Himmelman brought down the house with a furious jam session infused with existential and hysterical ramblings.

Meanwhile, their star chazzan, Yehuda Solomon, of the band Moshav, rocked the place with his own numbers and backed up other musicians like Sam Glaser, Shmuel Levy and Jewish rapper Etan G, who revealed a rap song he had written years ago for the Happy Minyan.

Although the women didn’t play music, it was clear that they play an inspirational and leadership role at the Happy Minyan, and throughout the evening, many of them got up to speak.

Two of the original founders — Jeff Rohatiner and Jonathan Boyer — also got up; Rohatiner to sing a niggun and Boyer to tell a few stories and introduce fellow co-founder and Torah teacher David Sacks.

Sacks, an Emmy-winning writer and producer, has this inimitable way of speaking that blends wide-eyed innocence, deep love of Torah and sardonic humor. The essence of the Happy Minyan, he said, was “to dare to suggest that being joyful is normal.”

I saw plenty of that joy, but as the evening wound down I still didn’t have a clear answer to my question: How do you keep such intensity going for 14 years?

The answer, for me, came from the honorees of the evening, Stuie and Enny Wax. It hit me when I heard this number: six years.

You see, as a film about the honorees explained, for six years before the Happy Minyan ever started, Stuie Wax would host a crowd of Shabbat revelers every Friday night in his Pico-Robertson apartment.

In other words, for six years before they even thought of creating a Happy Minyan, they practiced being a happy minyan.

Then, on the seventh year, when Stuie married his soul mate, Enny, they arranged a little Shabbat minyan with friends to celebrate their union.

And guess what? It turns out the new bride really loved this little minyan, and with her blessings and support, the minyan just kept going and going and hasn’t looked back since.

So maybe that’s the holy formula behind the longevity of the Happy Minyan: practice happy for six years, and marry happy on the seventh.

Who would ever want to give that up?

David Suissa is Publisher & Editor-in-Chief of Tribe Media/Jewish Journal, where he has been writing a weekly column on the Jewish world since 2006. In 2015, he was awarded first prize for “Editorial Excellence” by the American Jewish Press Association. Prior to Tribe Media, David was founder and CEO of Suissa Miller Advertising, a marketing firm named “Agency of the Year” by USA Today. He sold his company in 2006 to devote himself full time to his first passion: Israel and the Jewish world. David was born in Casablanca, Morocco, grew up in Montreal, and now lives in Los Angeles with his five children.

A minyan grows up (sort of) Read More »

LETTERS: September 4-10, 2009

Wagner’s Legacy

I understand why Rabbi Schulweis has difficulty condoning the upcoming Wagner festival. He starts with an utterly false premise (unsupported by the rest of his article) that “Wagner was an extraordinary musician, and an even more extraordinary anti-Semite” (“Let Wagner Be Heard?” Aug. 28).

Wagner’s Jew-hatred was anything but extraordinary. His worst writings were hardly different from those penned by Martin Luther centuries earlier in his book “On the Jews and Their Lies” (1543). Nor did they surpass the drivel of countless others who demonized and persecuted Jews throughout history. No, sad to say, Wagner was a quite ordinary anti-Semite.

But Wagner was also much more than “an extraordinary musician” (something one might say of a gifted bar mitzvah boy). He was beyond question one of the most gifted composers of all time, whose influence has extended to this day. His magnificent “Ring” cycle of four operas is one of the greatest individual artistic achievements in history. And that is the only reason his music will be the subject of the upcoming festival, whether or not “condoned” by Rabbi Schulweis or others. 

It should go without saying that Wagner’s abhorrent anti-Semitism will of course be a subject of the various lectures and events during the festival. In this way, Wagner’s place in history can be addressed, and any misconceptions can be corrected. For example, Rabbi Schulweis suggests that Wagner “personally and actively orchestrated a circle of racist colleagues, among whom was his son-in-law Houston Stewart Chamberlain.” This is misleading. Wagner died in 1883 and never met Chamberlain. Chamberlain became friends with Wagner’s widow Cosima (Franz Liszt’s daughter) after 1888 and did not publish his influential anti-Semitic tract until 1899. He married Wagner’s daughter Eva only in 1908. Chamberlain was certainly influenced by Wagner, but to suggest because of the posthumous family connection that Wagner supported Chamberlain or that they collaborated is simply wrong.

Los Angeles is not “offering immortality” to Wagner. He earned his place in history long ago. Rabbi Schulweis’ sense of “self-respect” apparently makes it impossible for him to listen to, or even discuss, “Here Comes the Bride” (from Hitler’s favorite Wagner opera, “Lohengrin”), because to do so “breaks the limits of tolerance.” Really? Are we Jews really so small-minded? Must we shut off our ears and close our eyes? Can we not recognize and honor greatness, while also condemning that which is terrible?

E. Randol Schoenberg

Board Member, LA Opera

Chairman of the Los Angeles Museum of the Holocaust


Tolerance for Dissent?

The uproar over Dr. Neve Gordon and, by extension, his home institution — Ben-Gurion University — is unfortunate on several levels, not the least of which is how self-defeating his critics are (“Donors Protest Israeli Professor’s Op-ed,” Aug. 28). It is not just, they say, that Gordon is a son’e Yisra’el (a hater of Israel) because he calls for a graduated regime of boycotts to end Israel’s occupation — all, it should be noted, in the name of a two-state solution. It is that his home university should be punished for his Los Angeles Times op-ed. Yes, that would be a good way to show support for Israel — and to advance democracy and open expression in the country. Punish one of its most innovative institutions because of what a faculty member wrote. What kind of confounded logic is this? Isn’t the institution larger than this one faculty member? Perhaps even more to the point, isn’t tolerance for dissent a hallmark of the kind of enlightened society that “will guarantee freedom of religion, conscience, language, education and culture,” as Israel’s Declaration of Independence proclaims?

To be sure, Gordon’s proposal is controversial. We do not share his belief that a boycott is the best or only way to overcome the seemingly endless occupation. But we do share his frustration that every Israeli government has continued to build settlements since 1967 in defiance of international law — and of Israel’s own best interests. And we do share the recently voiced concern of Edgar Bronfman Sr. that the settlement project will turn Israel into a “de facto apartheid state” unless and until Israel can disengage from the West Bank. The settlements may have already made a two-state solution impossible, in which case Israel faces the choice of granting full rights to all who dwell between the Jordan River and the Mediterranean — or granting full rights only to the Jews in that space.

Those who genuinely care about Israel — and do not regard concern for the welfare of Palestinians as a zero-sum game — must pay careful heed to the analysis in Neve Gordon’s piece, even if they do not accept its prescription. The alternative (and oft-chosen path) is to rest content with attacking Gordon, Bronfman or even Ben-Gurion University — and avoid addressing the conditions on the ground that, in fact, pose a far greater danger to Israel’s future than words.

Rabbi Leonard Beerman

Professor Gerald Bubis

Professor Aryeh Cohen

Rabbi Joshua Levine Grater

Professor David N. Myers

Professor Adam Rubin


BJE Name Change

A letter in last week’s Journal questioned whether the BJE’s hiring of a consultant to change its name from the Bureau of Jewish Education to the BJE reflected “wise spending.” The change of name and logo were the direct result of recommendations made as part of the BJE’s engagement in a long-term strategic plan. This process was started several years ago and the goal was to ensure that the BJE was fulfilling its mission to enhance quality, increase access, and encourage participation in Jewish education. The planning process included consultation with a broad range of community stakeholders. As a result of the process, the BJE made many substantive changes to the programs and services it offers. One of a number of recommendations was that in order to better advance its mission, the BJE needed to re-brand itself. The consultant who was hired for a very modest fee created the BJE’s new logo, not the new name. The actual name change, from the Bureau of Jewish Education to the BJE, was a decision of the Board of Directors in recognition of the fact that the term “Bureau” failed to describe what the BJE is today. Especially in this financial climate, the professional staff and lay leaders of the BJE have done everything possible to best allocate the charity dollars entrusted to the BJE in a manner that will have the greatest impact on Jewish education in the our community.

Marc Rohatiner, BJE President


Pros and Cons of Universal Health Care

As a physician who experiences the failings of our health care system on a daily basis, I find Rabbi Elliott Dorff’s treatise on “Why We Must Support Universal Health Care” (Aug. 28) a breath of fresh air. As both a Jew and a health care professional, I face every day with the mission of tikkun olam. I feel it in my bones, my heart and my soul. The health insurance industry began our odyssey down the wrong path when the for-profit schema was introduced by Blue Cross of California in the early 1990s to forestall threatened bankruptcy. Incremental change has brought us to the brink of disaster with yearly increases in premiums, co-pays, deductibles and medication costs. The maneuver was wildly successful and adopted by the rest of the industry.

As Dorff states, “Jewish tradition imposes a clear duty to try to heal….” Obama’s public plan and the recently substituted health co-op concept will only contribute another layer of bureaucracy to our present system. The only reasonable option to guarantee health care for everyone is the nonprofit, single-payer (Medicare-for-all). The money to finance such a plan is already there: $400 billion-$800 billion in profits and administrative waste will guarantee health care for everyone when the middle man is eliminated. As a member of the California Physicians Alliance, affiliated with the Physicians for a National Health Program, I support single-payer. With added responsibility as a Jew and a physician, I face each day empowered to heal and know I am doing the right thing.

Jerome P. Helman

Venice

I write as a Jew who feels strongly about health care and taking care of the people’s needs, but the history of our great nation and public dole programs has not brought this country to where it is. Thank you for your learned writing, but I think we have to look inside of the Obama plan and not go blindly into it because as Jews we normally vote Democratic. Discussion and a time to read that huge document is in order.

John Osten

via e-mail

Rabbi Elliot N. Dorff’s article, “Why We Must Support Universal Health Care,” provides a skillful and comprehensive overview of Judaic sources relevant to the important issue of health care. However, in my reading of his source material, he appears to undermine his own call for universal health care.

First, many of his sources clearly prioritize care for self, family and the Jewish community over universal care. More importantly, a Jewish politician like Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-Conn.) who prioritizes defense and opposes a public option in health care, would find support for his views here, as shown in the quotation about the importance of “saving people who are threatened by human attackers … first.”

More importantly, the only truly universal bill in the form of a single-payer, Medicare-for-All model, H.R. 676 — supported by Jewish politicians like Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) — is omitted from this article completely. In short, the rabbi’s own material shows that universal care — as a concern of the Jewish community — is a low religious priority and, as a secular issue, is totally missing in action.

 
Gene Rothman

Culver City

When are you going to print the real truth? This is a travesty and it has to be answered. I’d like to know who is doing the article giving the real information as to why we must NOT support universal health care and ruin America.

Mara Kochba

via e-mail


Revising History

Rob Eshman is concerned by what he sees as historical revisionism in Tarantino’s Holocaust revenge fantasy (“Kill Wilhelm,” Aug. 28). The Bear Jew in “Basterds” — clubbing Nazis with baseball bats — does Samson ring a bell, defeating his Philistine enemies with a jawbone of an ass? Are Jews really so inept according to Mr. Eshman that they could pull off upset victories unique in the annals of world history? A tiny nation holding at bay the Seleucid Hellenistic Empire (in the Chanukah story); the two Judean revolts that forced the all-powerful Roman Empire to call reserves from Gaul and Germania to suppress? How about the Warsaw Ghetto uprising that held off the German armies for many weeks — Jews fighting with Molotov cocktails and limited weaponry? How about the emaciated, starving concentration camp inmates who upon liberation tore apart their SS prison guards with their bare hands? Is that also Hollywood-ization? The recent film “Defiance” is based on the true stories of Jewish resistance and survival in the Russian forest.

It seems that Mr. Eshman’s view of the banality of Jewish resistance is the real revisionism here; perhaps it’s the Ghandi-ization of contemporary American Judaism that has distorted actual Jewish history, de-emphasizing Jewish strength, faithfulness and courage while admiring their victimhood and helplessness. In other words, Jews have survived the many formidable challenges in our history not by litigating, but by liquidating our enemies.

Richard Friedman

Los Angeles


A Healthy Debate

Thanks to Marty Kaplan for his spot-on analysis of the health care debate (”Kumbaya, Not Kevorkian, Will Kill Granny,” Aug. 28). There has been an abysmal failure on the part of the media to name lunacy and lies when they are fully apparent. Moreover, I am deeply disappointed about President Obama’s lack of leadership on the health care issue. It is patently obvious that the Republicans have no interest in any reform that might inure to the benefit of the administration. I worked tirelessly to elect this president including taking my 10-year-old grandson to Nevada to walk precincts and knock on doors in 110-degree heat. I trusted him to know when conciliation and compromise might work and when assertive and perhaps aggressive leadership would be necessary. Now I fear that whatever comes out of the administration will be too little, too late.

Barbara H. Bergen

Los Angeles

I guess I need a new dictionary, or a translator, for the new language used by Marty Kaplan in his Kumbaya article.

Kaplan has brought to our attention in this article the only valid accusation the Democrats have against the health care bill’s opponents. Yes, Sarah Palin said something that has no direct basis in the bill. That is it. All the other concerns and charges are valid and cannot be refuted by Kaplan and the bill’s supporters, and so they go after the messenger.

The accusations leveled against the plan’s detractors have nothing to do with the agenda at hand. Their concerns are not addressed; they are lied to by the president and all the president’s men who at the end of the day will not be able to pull this plan together again.

Calling names is what Kaplan is doing in earnest. No Hitler signs have been carried, nor Nazi calls been heard, certainly not by a majority of concerned citizens who feel they are been duped and lied to. The same political discourse that Nancy Pelosi welcomed when it was directed against Bush is now anti-democratic when it is in opposition to her policies.

Kaplan is distorting liberalism as well. No longer is it the tendency of fair-minded people to accept the acts of others, as deplorable as they may be. All of a sudden a liberal has been transformed with a lash of Kaplan’s pen into a militant social rights activist.

The true American liberal was once regarded as one who was willing to die so an opposing point of view would be heard. Somehow Mr. Kaplan, you have excluded yourself from our crowd.

Ethan Teitler

via e-mail

There is no question that both Republicans and Democrats realize the need for urgent reform in health care. The difference is in their ideology—how it can be achieved with the utmost efficiency, without having the government taking control of our personal life and without spending trillions of dollars we don’t have (and have China own our health care system as well).

In response to Marty Kaplan’s article: For someone who dreams of “fair and balanced” journalism, his article is plagued with inaccuracies.

Knowing how security works in protecting the president, I doubt anyone could carry “loaded assault weapons” into any of Obama’s events.

Also, Glenn Beck only mentioned the word “Nazi” when referring to the false statements made by Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Feinstein with regard to town hall meetings.

Mr. Kaplan claims that Obama’s presidency is held hostage to bipartisanship. Isn’t bipartisanship the way our government should work? Bipartisanship is not the problem. The problem is the president’s weak leadership of trying to please everyone all of the time.

Danny Bental

Tarzana


Iranian Threat: Overblown?

David Suissa accepts the widespread view that Iran is an existential threat to Israeli security (”Stopping Iran,” Aug. 21). My view is that this threat is considerably overblown, and this becomes clear when considering Iranian interests.

Consider the following arguments: (1) Any Iranian attack against Israel would lead to heavy Israeli retaliation that would end the Iranian state as we know it. To believe that Iran would nevertheless attack is to believe that the main objective of Iran at present is to cause Israel’s destruction. This is not credible. (2) An Iranian nuclear attack against Israel would kill many thousands of Palestinians, and possibly also Hezbollah and Hamas allies. Why Iran would sacrifice its friends to destroy its enemies is unclear. (3) If Iran wanted (God forbid) to hurt Israel, it has other methods available, including attempting to assassinate Israeli leaders. It has not used these methods. (4) The Iranian revolution occurred in 1978; if Iran had in mind to cause existential harm to Israel, we would have seen traces of that action by now, but none has been apparent. (5) President Ahmadinejad, who has threatened to attack Israel, does not control the decision to make war and peace in his country; the religious leadership has this responsibility. For this reason alone, in terms of the power makeup of his country, Ahmadinejad cannot be viewed as a modern-day Hitler. (6) An Iranian diplomatic official wrote last year that Iran had not made war against any other country for three hundred years; the idea that all of a sudden Iran should stake its existence on suicidal conflict now is not credible.

I believe these are strong arguments on the other side, which have not received their due attention. As to why the Israeli government nevertheless persists with the existential argument, I believe it is because that government uses the Iran issue to distract the world from the difficult problem of making peace with the Palestinians, which requires concessions to the Palestinians that Israel would rather not make.

Barry H. Steiner

Professor of Political Science, CSULB

David Suissa is right to emphasize that the U.S. is taking a laid-back approach to the looming threat of a nuclear-armed Iran, but mistaken to suggest that the threat posed to the U.S. isn’t nearly as serious as that posed to Israel.

Whatever the political, economic and security risks for the U.S. that might be entailed by a last-resort strike upon Iranian nuclear facilities, they will be as nothing against the shadow of nuclear blackmail under which America will be obliged to live once Iran gets such weapons.

Even if Iran never fires them at the U.S., who really believes Iran won’t give such weapons to terrorists? And who believes that, once possessing such weapons, terrorists won’t use them on the U.S.?

Unlike the situation in World War II, America cannot bounce back after initial losses. Just one nuclear attack on an American city would break our will to resist. Think about it—Japan was fanatically opposed to surrendering in 1945 and it took two atomic bombs to change its mind. Does anyone believe Americans will fight harder today than the Japanese did then, absorb one, two or three nuclear attacks and keep on fighting Islamic terrorists?

Once Iran gets the bomb, our freedom and security will be on the way out—forever.

Morton A. Klein

National President

Zionist Organization of America

New York


Roslyn Schulte and the Afghanistan War

Roslyn Schulte, a beautiful and talented young Jewish woman, died in the service of her country in Afghanistan. Her loss is deeply felt by family, loved ones, the community and the nation. Rob Eshman lovingly and respectfully eulogized her in his editorial, “Woman in Combat” (Aug. 21), and commended the growing equality of the sexes in U.S. combat forces. One rightly might feel uneasy about using a fallen soldier to defend or to criticize policy, but the issues Eshman raised (and did not raise) deserve a response.

According to polls, a majority of Americans do not now feel the U.S. war in Afghanistan is justified and worth the cost to life and limb (794 American deaths so far, more than 2,000 seriously injured). We in the Arbeter Ring (Workmen’s Circle) join with millions of others in mourning the deaths of combatants and civilians alike in war, and wonder if there are not perhaps other ways of turning hearts and minds of people around the world toward civility and justice. Our country’s military approach does not seem to have made much difference, and likely has made things worse. Domestically, too, isn’t it time to divert some of our enormous military budget toward more productive purpose? Perhaps old Isaiah said it best: “For the work of righteousness shall be peace.”

Ruth Judkowitz, Chairmentsh

Eric A. Gordon, Director

The Workmen’s Circle/Arbeter Ring SoCal District

Los Angeles


Film Rekindles Memories

Yes, “Inglourious Basterds” rekindles memories of the Jewish Brigade which participated at the tail end of World War II and immediate post-war period in Europe (see review of “Hands” by Kenneth Turan, L.A. Times Nov. 27, 1998). They established an underground railway that moved Jewish refugees across Europe to port cities en route to Palestine. I saw the brigade in action in Austria where I served on occupation duty with the 384th Military Police Battalion, Railway Security, 1946-49.

Their clandestine hit squads managed to locate more than a few Nazi officers in hiding and their “fundraising” activities (black market) were something to behold, although they denied it (“DP Heads Deny Black Goods Uncovered in Vienna”, Stars & Stripes, Jan. 25, 1947). The displaced persons camp was raided by Austrian police but DPs blocked their way and it was necessary to call U.S. MPs. Camp officials conceded that some black market activity may have been going on outside the camp in the general area. Us GIs turned our back on the activities of the brigade but provided some small help. A few packs of cigarettes and a few PX items for hard-to-get liquor.

Memories!

Val Rodriguez

Signal Hill


Ornithologist at Sinai

Thank you for your lovely article on Dr. Yossi Leshem’s visit to Sinai Temple.  It should be noted that Dr. Leshem’s visit was part of a Jewish National Fund program to support Hula Valley. Also in March 2010, Dr. Leshem will be part of a bird-watching mission to Israel for the Jewish National Fund. For more information, please go to http://support.jnf.org/site/PageServer?pagename=birdwatching2.

Michelle Grant

JNF Board of Directions

Santa Monica


Is Israel a Democracy?

I was very proud that the L.A. Times chose my letter to publish regarding Ben Gurion University’s Dr. Neve Gordon’s op-ed piece, “Boycott Israel.” To me it was the cry of an Israeli intellect to make the State of Israel the “Light unto the Nations” that the founding fathers and we Diaspora Jews wished for. Then I read the full page ad in your Aug. 28 issue by Doron Krakow of the American Associates of the university, inviting Gordon to leave his country. Krakow bandies the term “democracy” with regards to the State of Israel. In our country, Krakow will never have rocks and feces thrown at him if he drives through a heredi neighborhood on Shabbat. Non-Orthodox Israeli Jews cannot be legally married in their own nation. Democracy? The Israeli government spends almost six times more to educate a Jewish student than an Israeli Arab student. Democracy? (See Carol Smokler’s Viewpoint in June 22 Jerusalem Report.) I suggest that Krakow move to Israel, and in exchange we should welcome Neve Gordon and his family to come here and enjoy life in a true democracy.

Martin J. Weisman

Westlake Village


‘Taking Woodstock’ Promotes Offensive Jewish Stereotypes

A Jewish woman so obsessed with money that she shakes the sheets at her motel rather than washing them, charges extra for towels and soap and is found literally sleeping in a closet buried beneath her 20 year savings. If that isn’t subtle enough, she also routinely throws tirades and tantrums using an over-the-top “Yiddish” accent and even throwing in references to gas chambers when the bank manager has finally issued his last pre-foreclosure warning.

This is the offensive, not humorous, portrayal of the mother (a Holocaust survivor) of the main character in the movie “Taking Woodstock.” Her one-dimensional personality is actually the only energy or passion in this watered-down version of the glory of Woodstock.

Ang Lee, the director, shows sensitivity and compassion in his portrayal of the gay son and transvestite friend. The contrast is disturbing.

Sheila Williams

Sherman Oaks


Repair the Entire World?

Another trip to the Laemmele Theaters: another perusal of the Jewish Journal.

A rather mild issue, but I was struck by the letter from Simona Klein. She was upset about the Palestinians, praised Obama (of course) and then finished her missive with a question: “Aren’t we (the Jews) supposed to try and repair the entire world?”

This question needs an answer and the answer, Simona, is a loud “NO.” The “world” doesn’t want us to. They (the “world”) will get annoyed. I think the “world” wants us, the Jewish people, to mind our own business, take care of our own, prosper and endow universities and museums and contribute to real charities. I also think the “world,” that is the understanding people left in Europe and our country, will appreciate our concern about one million Israelis being incinerated while Obama and the secretary of state beg the mullahs to talk.

Mark Steinberg  

Los Angeles


Please Be an Advocate For Israel

A quick note to Professor David N. Myers, who responded to my critical letter in the Jewish Journal: Please, just be an advocate for Israel. We desperately need them. Yes, there are injustices on both sides and even if you don’t agree that the Arab/Palestinian abhorrent behavior is over-the-top disproportionate in rhetoric and action, there are plenty people all over the world jumping all over us. We need you, as a Jew and a teacher with access to young, impressionable minds, to advocate and campaign for your people.

Allan Kandel

Los Angeles


Remind Readers of Yeshayahu Leibowitz

The Jewish Journal is continually infused with passionate articles and letters about the Israel versus Palestine situation. Of course, this is only to be expected.

However, I would encourage you to remind your readers of the moral viewpoint of Yeshayahu Leibowitz (professor at the Hebrew University), as expressed shortly after the 1967 war and subsequently.

Five of his essays are contained in his book, “Judaism, Human Values, and the Jewish State (http://www.amazon.com/Judaism-Human-Values-Jewish-State/dp/0674487761).

It would be great if you could publish a sample essay. But they are probably too long. And maybe there are copyright issues.

Israel is the first test of Judaism in charge in 2,000 years. I have told my sister (who lives in Israel) that we will have to wait a few hundred years for test results re the morality of Jewish leadership. I fear that the test results may come a lot sooner.

Amiel Shulsinger

El Monte


Recaliberation by Obama Will Not End Mideast Conflict

Your insightful column (”’Boycott Israel’ Nope: Boycott the Arabs,” Video/Web, Aug. 20) was right on the mark.

You rightly point out how ridiculous Neve Gordon’s one-sided column is in the Los Angeles Times (“Boycott Israel,” August 20.)

I find it quite troubling that the administration is asking a great deal of Israel while requesting little from the Arab world.

President Obama is wrong to press Israel on the settlements issue as the Arab world will not change its rhetoric or its positions. It wants Israel to be pressed to give back land and compromise its security in exchange for words of hatred from so-called “moderate” Arab leaders. This would only weaken Israel and threaten its security.

The Obama administration must not overemphasize the settlements.

Compromises between people of goodwill can be made on settlements, as Israel has demonstrated in the recent past. But no compromise can be made on Israel’s right to exist inside secure borders unmolested by terrorist groups or threatened by belligerent states.

Obama must first get the Arab world to accept Israel completely as a Jewish state within secure and defensible borders before Israel is forced to make one-sided concessions.

Israel is the only truly democratic Jewish state in the Middle East where the 20 percent Palestinian Arab minority enjoy full Israeli citizenship with voting rights.

Israel is right to take a defensive position against its enemies and ensure her citizen’s safety from both internal and external threats.

The Palestinian Arab goal continues to be the elimination of Israel by making unacceptable demands on her. Mahmoud Abbas and the Fatah party have been wrongly described as “moderate” by the mainstream media. Fatah’s charter, article 19, states clearly that “the struggle will not cease unless the Zionist state is demolished and Palestine is completely liberated.” The overwhelming majority of Americans that support Israel should be made aware of this fact and oppose one-sided pressure on Israel. I do not see how recalibration by Obama will end the Mideast conflict.

Josh Basson

Seattle

Rob Eshman’s column will return next week.

There are many, many more letters at jewishjournal.com.
THE JEWISH JOURNAL welcomes letters from all readers. Letters should be no more than 200 words and must include a valid name, address and phone number. Letters sent via e-mail must not contain attachments. Pseudonyms and initials will not be used, but names will be withheld on request. We reserve the right to edit all letters. Mail: The Jewish Journal, Letters, 3580 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1510, Los Angeles, CA 90010; e-mail: {encode=”letters@jewishjournal.com” title=”letters@jewishjournal.com”}; or fax: (213) 368-1684.

LETTERS: September 4-10, 2009 Read More »

Envisioning a Healthy Jewish Sex Ethic

Elul is not only the season of teshuvah.  It’s also the season of love! Ani l’dodi v’dodi li.  I am my beloved and my beloved is for me ( אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי).  It is the season of weddings.  I spend quite some time each summer preparing couples, the chattan and the kallah for the wedding day.  The focus, of course is on the laws of niddah—the code of laws of “separation” between husband and wife while she is menstruating, and for seven days following.

But, over the years, I have come to realize that focusing solely on the 2 weeks where a couple are restricted, sends a negative message about Judaism’s view on marriage and sexuality.  And so, after carefully going through the halakha, (Jewish law) with each couple, I spend one session on “envisioning a healthy Jewish sex ethic.” 

Let me begin with 2 images of a marital relationship in the Torah: Adam and Eve, and Moses and Tzipporah. 

The Torah in Genesis 1:24 says:
על כן יעזב איש את אביו ואת אמו ודבק באשתו והיו לבשר אחד
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh.

“basar echad—one flesh,” according to Ramban means that a couple becomes one flesh, in both a physical and emotional realm.  This places sex at the center of the marital relationship.

The other image, of course, is Moses and Tzipporah.  After starting a family, Moses chose to separate from his wife to achieve greater spiritual heights. As the only person who would see God face to face, he could not imagine remaining married.

So which model prevails?
Both mentalities—the Adam and Eve model on one hand, and the Moses and Tzippora model on the other hand, found their way into Jewish practice.  There is a strand of rabbinic literature that teaches that sexuality is central to a healthy, committed relationship, and a strand that teaches that sex should not be the focal point of ones relationship. 

The Talmud (Nedarim 20a) teaches that Rabbi Yochanan ben Dahabai, preached that married couples should limit their sexual practices, and value asceticism. Marital relations should not be for the enjoyment of the couple, but rather solely for procreative purposes. 

But, the Talmud in Nedarim (20b) continues.  After quoting the lone ascetic opinion of Rabbi Yohanan ben Dahabai, the gemara quotes the majority, common held position that places no sexual restrictions on a couple in a committed loving relationship. 

And yet, not all communities could embrace this open view on sexuality.  The Ger Chassidic community, for example, believed that being meticulous in the keeping the laws of nidadah as well as limiting ones sexual practices would usher in the messiah.  So, the community became entirely insular, creating schools, yeshivot, and social opportunities, so that their community members would not have to step into the real world. But, women had no interest in marrying Ger men, for their marriages tended to be void of love and compassion.

In response to this crises, in 1973, Rav Yosef Kanievsky (the Steipler) wrote quite a lengthy and explicit letter as a polemic response to the Ger Chassidic community’s ascetic sexual practices.  He writes:

If as a result of this (ascetic approach) he does not fulfill (lit. nullifies) the tiniest bit of his Biblical obligation, then his actions go to the Other Side, God forbid, and he will not achieve the paths of life.  Although he might think that he is rising to great heights, but in truth deep inside of him is buried a desire to consider himself a person of spiritual heights, while in fact he damages others and is himself damaged, and frequently his actions lead him to shame….”, but God forbid for one to act in an ascetic manner when it pains his wife, who is dependant on him and who has not given a remission with a full heart on what is her due.

He goes on, on the other hand,

One who engages in physical intimacy and touching and the like for the sake of heaven, because he is compassionate and does not want her to be in pain and miserable, this does not bring him in any way to a weakening of his fear of heaven or to a descent into pleasures (hedonism).  To the contrary! It brings him to holiness, and he fulfils a Biblical mitzvah of “You shall walk in His paths” – just as He is compassionate, you too must be compassionate. 

Rav Kanievsky is merely emphasizing that sexual fulfillment when consensual, is central to a healthy and happy marriage.

Now, you may be wondering how I can so freely write about such a sensitive and intimate topic. The truth is, I speak to many women and couples who are struggling in this realm. And very often there is so much pain and embarrassment revolving around their marriage, that I realized how important and central talking about the importance of sex within marriage is.  I began dedicating a session to teaching couples about sex as part of the curriculum for preparing them for marriage. And the Modern Orthodox community in general is beginning to see the importance of teaching and helping couples deal with very intimate aspects of their lives. 

Two years ago, I helped organize a conference, sponsored by Drisha, Yeshivat Chovevei Torah, and JOFA, where we brought together 15 kallah teachers from around the country and Isreal.  We spent four days teaching these women how to strike a balance between teaching halakha, teaching the laws of niddah, as well as emphasizing the importance of enhancing their marital relationships.  The women were floored by the frankness and openness with which the topic was dealt with, and I think we helped break down some of the taboo associated with talking about, in the appropriate context, the centrality of sexuality within marriage.

In recent years Tzelem, has been formed; created by YU alumni Jennie Rosenfeld and Koby Frances, who identified a need for an honest examination of sexuality and gender relationships in the Orthodox community.

And, I hope in my own small way, with the help of specialists in the field, I have give couples permission to explore and ensure that their marriage is not void of physical and emotional fulfillment. 
 

Envisioning a Healthy Jewish Sex Ethic Read More »