My parents’ old car (a Ford LTD sedan, as I recall) had a red button affixed near the dashboard marked “Panic Button.” As soon as I learned what “panic” was, I asked the question: What happened if you pushed it? The answer: It was a gag button, so nothing happened. Maybe it was to remind you not to panic, because it never helps, and there’s no magic button to push to reset time and return you to your pre-panic moment.
Years later, the Singles Crisis arrives: It is the capitalized subject matter of lectures, panels and events, attended by singles, marrieds, professors, demographers and rabbis in the Jewish community. For those of you just joining this conversation, here’s a quick recap: Because today’s Jewish singles are “choosing” to marry and have children later (if at all), the Jewish people are not reproducing quickly enough.
Many men claim to be ready for something serious, while their dating behavior indicates otherwise. Many women realize panicking is pointless while others panic into a desperation that frightens “the living date-lights” out of their male potential counterparts. And all of us singles are to blame, because of our choices, our sense of entitlement, our independence and self-emancipation from traditional communities and communal expectations.
Never mind the Jewish creative initiatives, which may be at a possible all-time high; extinction as a people is the palpable possibility. If there is a panic button for Jewish continuity, I think we can safely consider it pushed.
From this pack of the uncoupled emerges 27-year-old Doree Lewak, a single friend of mine, with a new book about panic, beyond the borders of synagogue and academic studies: “The Panic Years: A Guide to Surviving Smug Married Friends, Bad Taffeta, and Life on the Wrong Side of 25 Without a Ring.” Once I catch my breath from reading the title aloud, and check Lewak’s Web site (
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