The Synagogue Makes the Woman

When Muriel Zollman decided to study beginning Hebrew with Rabbi Sally Olins at Temple B’nai Hayim in Sherman Oaks a couple of years ago, it was only so she could follow the prayers during services like everyone else in her family.

Similar considerations prompted mothers Debra Freedman and Roberta Teichman to take the same eight-week class. Like most women with family responsibilities and busy schedules, they valued their free time and wanted to make the most of it.

Shortly after they began studying Hebrew, Freedman and Zollman ran into each other at their office lobby — they hadn’t realized that they worked at the same company — and they began studying together during their lunch hour. The two met Teichman and became fast friends.

Two years later, the three women who just wanted to learn Hebrew became committed to Judaism. Not only did they share a friendship, but they shared the experience of becoming b’not mitzvah one weekend last spring.

The three all came to Judaism at different times, with different attitudes toward Judaism — yet ended up in similar places.

Zollman had never felt comfortable in the synagogue because she couldn’t sing or read the prayers in Hebrew.

“I didn’t really feel that I was participating 100 percent,” she said. “I really didn’t feel a spiritual connection to Judaism.”

When she and her husband visited the synagogue in 1997, she met Olins and was struck by the warm, welcoming atmosphere. After she began her Hebrew lessons, Zollman became aware that other women were completing their b’not mitzvah. Gradually, she began to believe that she, too, could do the same.

For Freedman, finding B’nai Hayim unlocked a deeper yearning.

She first visited B’nai Hayim during the High Holidays in 1994 and was so taken by the experience that she approached Cantor Mark Gomberg and asked if she could sing at the temple.

“For me, finding Temple B’nai Hayim has been a dream come true,” Freedman said. “The synagogue has been a place for me to grow and learn as a singer and a Jew.”

She and her daughter, Evyn, are now active members.

Teichman’s introduction to Judaism came at an earlier date.

Her husband, Howard, introduced her to Judaism in 1975, before she was Jewish. She loved to listen to Hebrew being spoken during High Holidays when she accompanied her husband to services.

She converted to Judaism in 1979, but felt something was missing. She said she yearned to “make Judaism a part of my life.”

Teichman and her family joined B’nai Hayim in 1994, and her daughter, Rebecca, became a bat mitzvah in 1997. A couple of years later Teichman began her Hebrew lessons with Olins, and after much determination and hard work, her bat mitzvah is a reality.

But the bat mitzvah is not the end for these women, it is just the beginning.

Zollman is committed to continuing her Jewish education and to serving her family and community; Freedman will continue learning about Judaism and singing at the synagogue; Teichman wants to help out at the Hebrew school and answer the call for volunteers when the need arises.

Although each of the women had just wanted to learn a little Hebrew, in the end what they got was a whole community.