“Do you want to start or should I?” asked Shlomo Meyers, the more brazen of the two. His bashful wife, Danielle, gave him the go-ahead.
“Why is it always me?” he laughed, but continued without hesitation. “We met two years ago, at camp in Pennsylvania.”
Typical to Orthodox relationships, it was a matchmaker who coordinated the meeting between the two. Today, more than four months after their wedding, Danielle and Shlomo are your typical 20-something Orthodox couple living in the Pico-Robertson area. She wears a head-wrap, and he wears a yarmulke.
What separates them is the fact that they both have Down syndrome.
Historically, individuals with the genetic, chromosomal condition have been discouraged from pursuing romantic relationships. However, ETTA, a nonprofit that provides a wide spectrum of services for Jewish adults with special needs locally and offers direct support to the Meyerses, takes a different stance.
“We support individuals to their fullest potential, and for those individuals who are prepared for marriage, we think it’s a wonderful idea,” said Michael Held, executive director of the ETTA Center in Los Angeles.
Both Shlomo and Danielle are assisted by ETTA life coaches who help them with day-to-day tasks that include household chores (such as cooking and cleaning), money management and appointment scheduling.
“We have each other to help out, but of course we have to have somebody with us for some certain things — and I can’t say I don’t need it — but things I don’t need help with, I can get the help with my wife or my family,” Shlomo said.
Jason Druyan, an ETTA life coach who works with the couple, said he wants the newlyweds to be self-sufficient, so he doesn’t smother them with assistance. Instead, he helps them when absolutely necessary.
“It takes a few minutes longer, but it’s better for them,” he explained.
Danielle and Shlomo are surrounded by support, whether it comes from ETTA, Danielle’s parents (who live two blocks away) or their local shuls (Aish HaTorah and Young Israel of Century City).
And both have jobs in the Jewish community, Shlomo as a physical education assistant at Maimonides Academy and Danielle as a preschool aide at Yeshiva Aharon Yaakov Ohr Eliyahu Academy. Both worked last year at ETTA’s summer day camp for Jewish teens and young adults with special needs, and Danielle — a certified Zumba instructor — hopes to teach classes at ETTA facilities in the near future.
When Shlomo first saw Danielle, he remembers thinking she looked like an angel.
“To me, she looked like a princess too,” he said. “When she was coming up, I was like, ‘Oh my God, is that for me?’ It turns out, it was.”
After they met at camp in Pennsylvania, they returned to their respective cities — Chicago for him and Los Angeles for her. They dated for two years before sealing the deal.
“I have to live far, far away from my own family,” Shlomo said. “It is hard to move away from your family. It’s bittersweet.”
But maintaining a long-distance relationship was difficult for the two of them, who were constantly calling each other. While working at a school in Chicago, Shlomo was on the phone with Danielle when he heard an announcement over the intercom indicating he was needed in the office.
“And then I thought, ‘Hello? I’m on the phone!’ ”
Eventually, he realized he had to take their relationship to the next level. As for his eventual proposal, Danielle had no idea it was coming. Last October, during the weekend of her grandfather’s second bar mitzvah, Shlomo finally popped the question.
“My parents took me to this park and that’s where Shlomo met me and he asked me to walk with him,” Danielle said. “I sat on a bench, and then he sang me a song out of nowhere!”
The song — written by Shlomo — was called, “That’s My Girl Danielle.”
Eight months later, they were married at the Warner Center Marriott Woodland Hills, surrounded by hundreds of friends and family members. It was a hot June day, but they both agreed it was the best day of their lives.
When asked what makes Shlomo a good husband, Danielle responded, “Just being there for me when I need it.”
Shlomo had high praise for his wife and married life, as well: “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” he said. “I know there is someone who tries to understand me. And she’s doing the best she can. Neither of us can do more than try.”
Just months into marriage, they’re already getting the hang of things. They even had some advice for others looking for love.
“Find someone fun to be with,” Danielle said.
When asked for another tip, she paused for a couple of moments, and then Shlomo jumped in.
“Should I try to help you out?” he asked. “Sometimes it’s hard to figure out things alone. That’s why I think we have each other — to help out.”
