It is customary to pound one's SHIFT Key as we recite each line:We know our Apple better than the apple of our eye.
We think that Backspacing will fix everything.
We seek Control too often.
We Delete the good with the bad.
We have traded in our feelings for Emoticons.
We ignore our Function keys.
We think Google is the truth.
We have forgotten how to ask for Help.
We Insert in the wrong places.
We pay way too much attention to our Joysticks.
We waste our Keystrokes.
We LOCK CAPS when we are angry.
We forget those who live on the Margins.
When others Need us, our attention is stuck on Num lock.
We abuse our Operating system.
We only care about our Percent.
We Call Your name and it comes out QWERTY.
Too often we are a Remote user.
We Shift all blame, and take too many Shortcuts.
We have done the same thing wrong so many times, we might as well set a Tab.
We are more User than friendly.
We turn up the Volume, rather than seeking quiet resolution.
We close our Windows to new possibilities.
We don't type enough X's & O's.
We lose ourselves in YouTube.
We have lost our Zip and our drive.
We have corrupted Your binary commandments, and it has frozen our drives. Surely, You are correct to inspect all the data we input, for You have worked wonders in IT, but all we send is an error message.
Guide for the Jewplexed: Ashamnu for computer users–a keyboard confession
Ashamnu for computer users--a keyboard confession
Editor's Picks
What Ever Happened to the LA Times?
Dan Schnur
Who Are the Jews On Joe Biden’s Cabinet?
Ryan Torok
No Labels: The Group Fighting for the Political Center
Larry Greenfield
Latest Articles
Campus Watch April 30, 2024
Aaron Bandler
Spring Speaking and Skiing: Niver’s April News 2024
Lisa Ellen Niver
Culture
Beth Lee: OMG Yummy, Exciting Flavors and Preserved Lemons
Debra L. Eckerling
Passover Breakfast
Debra L. Eckerling
Dr. Nicole Saphier on Motherhood and Jewish Advocacy
Kylie Ora Lobell
Tension Surfaces at Pro-Israel Rally at UCLA With Pro-Palestinian Protesters
April 29, 2024
The event, spearheaded by the Israeli-American Council and several other Jewish organizations, was headlined by ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt and IAC Executive Director Elan Carr.
Where Sesame and Arab Streets Meet
April 28, 2024
Something has gone terribly wrong when kids, raised the world over on Sesame Street, have forsaken Bert and Ernie, and their colorful Muppet cohorts, for murderous jihadis far grouchier than Oscar.
Remembering Ken Holtzman, Outstanding Jewish Pitcher for the Cubs and A’s.
April 27, 2024
Jewish pitcher Ken Holtzman died on April 14 at age 78.
Why Are Presidential Statements About Jews So Weak?
April 26, 2024
“I condemn the antisemitic protests,” President Biden said on April 22. For some reason, he felt compelled to add: “I also condemn those who don’t understand what’s going on with the Palestinians.”
Hollywood
Podcasts
Beth Lee: OMG Yummy, Exciting Flavors and Preserved Lemons
Debra L. Eckerling
Shani Seidman: Manischewitz, Passover Memories and Matzo Brei
Debra L. Eckerling