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The Jewish Response to the Coronavirus, 9/11 and Our Son’s Bar Mitzvah

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March 23, 2020

It was Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001. I’d just slipped into my tennis skirt when my neighbor called and told me to turn on the TV. I stood half dressed in the den staring at the television set and watched in real time as an airplane flew into one of the twin towers in New York City.

In four days, my family would be celebrating our son Zachary’s bar mitzvah with family and friends traveling from across the country to join us for a weekend celebration at Camp Hess Kramer in Malibu, a summer camp owned by our synagogue Wilshire Boulevard Temple. The camp overlooked the Pacific Ocean and reached back into rustic canyons shaded by sycamore and live oak trees. It became a home away from home for generations of kids who enriched their connections to Judaism attending summer camp in Malibu. Zachary had been studying for years for this day and it felt as if I’d been preparing for the bar mitzvah festivities for as long as he’d been practicing his Torah portion. All the details to make this rite of passage memorable and reflective of our family — handmade invitations, a ceremony in an outdoor sanctuary, picnic-style lunch with homemade desserts prepared by friends — didn’t seem to matter now.

As the twin towers crumbled and dust and ash settled across lower Manhattan, airports throughout the United States closed. Our out-of-town guests had no choice but to cancel with regrets.

On Wednesday I phoned the rabbi.

“Should we postpone Zack’s bar mitzvah?” I said.

“For thousands of years, Jews have suffered persecution, trials, and horrific situations. In the face of all tragedies — we choose life,” he said. “Carrying on and celebrating Zack’s bar mitzvah with those who can attend will be doing that — choosing life.”

On Friday, March 13, 2020, my husband, Rick, and I learned that because of the escalating concerns about the spread of the coronavirus, Shabbat services at Wilshire Boulevard Temple would be closed to all except the b’nai mitzvah and their immediate families. But services were streamed live, so Rick and I stayed home, settled onto our couch, propped our laptop between us and watched as Rabbi Steve Leder addressed the disappointment of the b’nai mitzvah families that were unable to participate in their celebrations as they had planned.

From the bimah, Leder spoke to those in the sanctuary and those of us at home.

“From the perspective of the Jews, this is not a new story or a new phenomenon,” he said, “and these worries are not new worries for the Jewish people.”

He reminded us that the prayer we recite each year on Yom Kippur, the Unetanneh Tokef, gives us a formula for getting through these times of heightened anxiety, plague and turmoil. The prayer ends with the instruction that “but prayer (tefillah), and repentance (teshuvah), generosity (tzedakah) help us live with this decree.”

“That’s our ancient recipe for time of plagues and turmoil,” Leder said.

This is our tradition. Regardless of hardship, we tend to our spiritual lives by celebrating Shabbat, counting our blessings, remaining grateful, caring for family and friends, and being generous to those in need.

Leder’s words echoed with the words of the rabbi who encouraged our family to proceed with our bar mitzvah ceremony. It’s been nearly 20 years since 9/11 and Zachary’s bar mitzvah. The coronavirus pandemic has created a new set of fears, challenges and opportunities. But the wisdom of the rabbis and of our Jewish traditions remains steadfast.

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