I have a habit of talking to my mother in Montreal during my daily walks, which means I’m always looking for interesting conversation.
When our usual schmooze diet of food, the kids, family memories and Israel runs out, I’ll bring up anything that may catch my eye.
This morning, this schoolyard sign caught my eye: “Dude Be Nice.”
As I crossed the street to take a photo, I mentioned it to my mother (“Mec, soit gentil” in French), explaining that it was one of those motivational messages schools like to feature.
It turns out my mother had plenty to say about the message. She’s no expert on education or the modern ills of social media, but she does watch the news. And the news today, well, what can I tell you that you don’t already know? There’s lots of bad stuff going on, and wherever there’s bad stuff, you can assume some people are being mean (not to mention violent).
My mother’s motherly instinct was that a “be nice” message was exactly what the world needs to hear right now, and the subject bought me about ten minutes of good conversation! That wasn’t too surprising, though, because “be nice” is how she raised us.
When I got back to my computer, I researched the whole idea of “meanness” and whether things were getting worse. I saw a Pew survey from earlier this year that found that half of Americans say people have gotten ruder since the COVID-19 pandemic. But I was especially curious about the state of schools—are schoolchildren getting meaner? Is that why the school put up the sign?
Evidently, my mother was onto something. It’s like she smelled it.
According to a Jan. 2025 report in Education Week, “Student behavior problems continue to plague schools, and educators say they’ve actually grown more serious, according to a recent survey by the EdWeek Research Center. Nearly half of teachers, school leaders, and district leaders this school year—48 percent—said in the survey that students’ behavior was a lot worse this fall when compared to their pre-pandemic behavior.”
Can a humble sign in a schoolyard make a difference? Can three words change anything?
“Just do it” certainly permeated the culture and became one of the most famous slogans in history.
But Nike never told us what “it” was.
Is there a more important “it” to create a decent world than the simple yet essential idea of being nice? Being nice even when we don’t feel like it? Being nice even when we’re right and others are wrong? Being nice even when we must say difficult things? Being nice even while being funny or thought-provoking?
Asking people and “dudes” to be nice is not cool or snarky or hip, but neither is my mother. She’s just earnest.
Maybe Nike can throw their next advertising billion at “Dude Be Nice” and we can all hope that more people, including schoolchildren, will just do it.
