I Will Stay. And I Will Fight.

When I converted to Judaism, the rabbi asked me: If the Nazis were to come back, would you say you weren’t Jewish? Or would you stay with your people? 

I said: “I’d stay. And I’d fight.”

Typically, I am not a fighter. I usually try to stay out of the fight and offer a calming, inspirational point of view.

But not now.

I am not fighting on the front lines of the IDF, but as a journalist, I am fighting on the front lines of the information war. 

I am not fighting on the front lines of the IDF, but as a journalist, I am fighting on the front lines of the information war. As someone who has been active on social media every waking moment since the Monday after the massacre, I can tell you: It’s scary out there. And the campaign against Israel is strong, intense and threatens our very existence. 

I have been on X, Facebook and Instagram reposting what other Jews and pro-Israel activists are saying, as well as offering my own takes on the situation. I’ve watched the propaganda on the other side, and I’ve received threats from Hamas supporters. 

I’m not worried that these trolls will come after me in real life. However, as someone who is Orthodox and dresses visibly Jewish, I am scared for my safety. I’ve seen the multiple reports about Jews being attacked around the world, including here in Los Angeles, where we’ve been shouted at and chased down and forced to bolster our security. I haven’t felt comfortable eating in a kosher restaurant or shopping in a kosher grocery store since the war started. 

Sometimes, I feel as if I’m talking in a vacuum because most of my followers and friends on social media are Jewish.  Of course they’re going to agree with me. I think: Am I really going to change anyone’s mind, here? Am I really going to make someone see the Jewish side or make them realize that Israel is justified in its actions?

But then other times, I receive messages that make me keep going, from Jewish friends who don’t go to synagogue and aren’t part of a community, feel alone right now and find solace in my posts. They are happy that I am their ally. I don’t know what it’s like to be a lone Jew surrounded by non-Jews who just don’t understand or worse, people who are antisemitic and pro-Hamas. I’m in my Jewish bubble in LA and online. I’m glad that people are gaining strength by looking at what I’m doing. 

I’ve also used my own experience as inspiration to keep going. I had very different opinions a few years ago, and once I heard a prominent commentator talking very intelligently about the topics of the day, it opened my eyes. My formerly held beliefs began to unravel. While it was a bit painful, I grew tremendously from it.

I’m not battling it out with people on social media. I’m staying in my corner, putting up the facts and letting people decide for themselves, like that commentator did for me. I am hoping that reasonable people will use their intellect and see the truth. 

I’ve heard from many fellow American Jews that they are feeling helpless right now. They think, “What can I do?” 

If you don’t know what to do in this moment, start with putting the truth out there, too. Find credible sources and repost them. 

Let people know how you are feeling. Pretend like you’re in couples’ therapy: State how you feel and why you feel that way. Don’t point your finger or blame anyone. Stand strong and make sure you are seen. Hopefully, in the best-case scenario, someone who is on the other side of this will change their mind. But at the very least, you’ll feel better for expressing yourself. And they will, hopefully, see you and respect you and think twice about posting hurtful or false comments. 

What’s obvious, above all else, is that this is not a time for silence. This is a time for speaking up. 

When I went into the mikvah eight years ago and emerged as a Jew, I knew everything that it would entail. I knew I would be targeted. I knew I’d be hated. I knew I’d have to fight.

Despite everything that’s going on – and even in the face of fear – I stand stronger than ever. And I will never stop fighting.

How are you feeling at this difficult time? Email me: Kylieol@JewishJournal.com.

Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community Editor of the Jewish Journal.