Approaching Judaism With Love

I recently watched a video of a rabbi who warned about falling into the hands of the evil Satan and the dark forces that are at work in this world. I quickly clicked off, because I don’t identify with that kind of Judaism, the kind where we focus on the ills of society and put fear above all else. Instead, I approach Judaism with love.

While every Jew should have a healthy fear of God, that fear should not be the main motivator of their observance. Serving God out of pure fear is not the way. It can make you resentful and cause you to become miserable. It may very well backfire. And it can be a stumbling block to having true faith. 

Our relationship to God is compared to that of a relationship with a father. On the one hand, you must respect your father; he can lay down the law and decide what happens when you stray from the path. On the other hand, your father is a great source of comfort and care. He brings you closer when you need it the most and is always there for you.

The rabbi knew that his guests weren’t observant, but he didn’t admonish us or tell us we were doing something wrong. Instead, he was non-judgmental when he welcomed us in.

I chose to convert to Judaism after experiencing the incredible love I felt at my local Chabad during a Friday night dinner. The rabbi knew that his guests weren’t observant, but he didn’t admonish us or tell us we were doing something wrong. Instead, he was non-judgmental when he welcomed us in, showing us the beauty of Shabbat and observing the mitzvot. I was so compelled by this rabbi’s loving attitude that I wanted to go back every week and learn more about Judaism. 

The love I felt at that Chabad house set the tone for how I observe Judaism. It was so different from the Catholicism my grandmother taught me, which, at a young age, felt very dark and scary. I was going to go to Hell if I wasn’t baptized? I was born in sin? I know today that Catholicism is not all dark, but as a child, it sure did feel heavy. I didn’t connect with that fire and brimstone aspect of it; I needed a gentler approach to faith.

Every day, I am reminded of the love God has for me, and I feel blessed and grateful. I look around and I can’t believe that I live the life I do. I truly don’t know what I did to deserve it.

What I do know is that this love is a two-way street: just look at the Shema, which commands us to love God with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our strength. It’s critical to feel that love, like the love we have for our spouses, our children, our family and our friends. But it’s also important to show that we love Him by taking action: By keeping the mitzvot, doing good deeds and fulfilling our personal mission to make the world a better place. 

God communicated His love for us by giving us His Torah, the guidebook for a meaningful life. He wants us to be joyful, and He shows us how to achieve that. When things are going wrong in my life, I believe that God is telling me something. Perhaps He’s protecting me or putting me on a better path. He’s showing me how to build up my resilience and be strong when life becomes complicated. 

But I know, above all else, that God is acting out of love. When I picture heaven, shamayim, it’s where my soul will feel everlasting warmth, as it’s finally close with God, the source of all love.

I want God to be happy with me, and I do my best when it comes to observance. But I know that if I mess up, He will still love me. As long as I try to do better the next time, try to refine my character and improve upon myself, He will be there to welcome me with open arms, to get me back to my soul’s true purpose and to be receptive to the eternal love He has to offer. 

What’s your approach to Judaism? Email me: Kylieol@JewishJournal.com.

Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community Editor of the Jewish Journal.