Too Much Food on the High Holy Days

When I was 8 years old, I found a book about childhood eating that a family member had sent to my mom. Inside, there was a note: “Hopefully this helps Kylie with her weight problem.” 

Before this, I didn’t know I was overweight. But from that moment on, I had a keen awareness that I was a fat kid. 

Pretty soon, I started getting bullied at school and summer camp. I would obsessively check my weight on the scale and look at my stomach in the mirror several times a day. I wondered why I wasn’t skinny and beautiful like my mom and sisters. And instead of eating healthy, I did the opposite: I overate.

I turned to eating for excitement and for comfort. If I was celebrating, I’d have a slice of cake. If I was sad, I’d have a slice of cake. If it was a Tuesday – or a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday for that matter – I’d have a slice of cake. 

I would eat until I was beyond full. I would eat until I felt sick. I was punishing myself for being overweight, but I didn’t know how to stop eating so much. 

Now that I’m an adult, I’m still trying to conquer my struggle with overeating. One time of year that it’s a real challenge is the High Holy Days. It’s when we have periods of extreme eating, like Rosh Hashanah, followed by all-out fasting, like Tzom Gedaliah and Yom Kippur. 

I eat too much on Rosh Hashanah because I’m worried I’ll be hungry on the fast days. Or, if I’m at someone’s house and I haven’t been there before, I eat a lot during the first course because I don’t know what they’ll be serving for the second. I get worried there won’t be enough food (there always is, of course). 

If I’m not comfortable being myself at someone’s table, I eat and eat and eat so I don’t have to talk and accidentally embarrass myself. 

On top of all this, it’s a mitzvah to consume certain things on the holiday, like meat and wine and the customary seder food. Plus, Jewish women are the best cooks in the world, and they serve up large portions of their delicious delicacies. How can I resist?  

Many people I’ve talked to in my community struggle with overeating on Shabbat, on the holidays and in everyday life. Many of our customs revolve around food, and we often have an unhealthy way of looking at it. From matchmakers who tell young women to lose weight to find a man to mothers who say they need “to take a walk to burn all these calories off” after a meal, we don’t have the best relationship with our bodies and what’s on our plates. 

Women especially have a hard time seeing themselves for the beautiful mothers, wives and caretakers they are; they only see what’s the outside, which is a few extra pounds from all the living they’ve been doing. 

During Rosh Hashanah and the rest of the holidays, I urge you to be gentle on yourself. If you want to eat a slice of honey cake, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you end up having too much chicken or meat, it’s perfectly understandable why. The Jewish holidays are a short period of time where we tend to eat much more than usual. It doesn’t have to be the new norm if you don’t want it to be. 

Trust me: When you constantly beat yourself up, you’re only going to treat your body worse and worse. It’s a vicious cycle. I know; I’ve been through it many times. The only time in my life I was able to conquer my overeating is when I ate what made my body feel good. I felt better than ever before. The number on the scale didn’t affect me at all. How I look didn’t matter. It was how my new way of eating made me feel that made the difference.

The High Holy Days are a time to connect with Hashem and to feed your soul. If you feed your body a little too much at the same time, don’t worry: It’s a new year.

The High Holy Days are a time to connect with Hashem and to feed your soul. If you feed your body a little too much at the same time, don’t worry: It’s a new year. You can start fresh. You can determine what feels good for you, and go into 5783 with a new outlook, a new beginning and a new appreciation for yourself. 

I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to drop me a line at Kylieol@JewishJournal.com.

Kylie Ora Lobell is the Community Editor of the Jewish Journal.