Hanukkah Isn’t Trying to Be the Jewish Christmas — And That’s OK

I wasn’t born a Jew. I’ve got English, Scottish, Irish and German blood, and my parents are secular. When we celebrated Christmas, it was all about presents and Santa Claus and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

So when I met with a conversion rabbi, and the first question he asked me was “Will you miss Christmas?,” I was a little taken aback. I thought he’d question me on why I wanted to be a Jew or what the Torah meant to me.

Christmas just wasn’t a big deal in my head. Sure, it was fun when I was a little kid, but when my parents got divorced and I learned that Santa wasn’t real and my grandparents died, it didn’t mean so much to me anymore. Without a familial component or the magic of Santa, the holiday lost its luster.

I think the rabbi asked me that question straight off the bat because in the Jewish community, there is a lot of curiosity about Christmas and what it’s like to celebrate it. Sometimes, Jews may even be envious that they don’t get to celebrate it or are ashamed that Hanukkah isn’t as epic.

Sadly, this sentiment leads to a lot of Jews trying to get in on the Christmas action anyway — which goes completely against the purpose of the holiday. For example, Jews can buy Happy Hanukkah stockings and Christmas tree decorations at Bed, Bath & Beyond. If the Maccabees could see this, they’d probably cry or, more likely, start throwing punches.

Why is it OK to override our special holiday during this time of year to try to make it more like Christmas? Christians don’t put up Christmas menorahs or place a bubbe doll on their mantle place in December. If Easter and Ramadan were in the same month, do you think Christians would hold a break fast or Muslims would go searching for Easter eggs? I would certainly hope not.

Hanukkah is not inherently trying to be the Jewish Christmas. In fact, the two holidays are lightyears apart. The story of Christmas is a hopeful one about Jesus’ miraculous birth. Although the story of Hanukkah has the miracle of the oil lasting for eight days — and of overcoming assimilation for a brief period of time — it’s also incredibly bloody and sad. Many wayward Jews succumbed to Hellenistic practices, even going so far as to desecrate the sacrifices at the temple, and they died in the civil war that took place.

Where exactly does “I’m dreaming of a white Hanukkah” come into play?

No, this isn’t an actual song, but it could be. If you look on Spotify, so many of the Hanukkah songs are all about how the singer is a lonely Jew who is surrounded by friends celebrating Christmas. Usually, the song sounds like a classic Christmas tune. I wish the tunes were original and the songs were happier and focused on the deeper meaning behind why we celebrate our holiday.

Just because Hanukkah and Christmas are around the same time doesn’t mean we need to compare them or lump them in together. When you do that, you take away the value and uniqueness of each holiday.

Just because Hanukkah and Christmas are around the same time doesn’t mean we need to compare them or lump them in together.

I understand that it can be sad to see Christmas decorations everywhere, hear the music playing the entire month on the radio and not be able to celebrate. I do admit that listening to the music and seeing the lights warms my heart, especially when I’m back home on the East Coast, where winter is very cold, dark and depressing. It brightens up your mood and keeps you sane, giving you the strength to get through the tougher months of January and February.

Plus, if you’re not in a Jewish community where others are celebrating, it can admittedly be difficult to be the only one who does Hanukkah. No one wants to feel like an outsider. I don’t think it’s wrong to go and see the big Christmas tree in the center of your town because it’s pretty or drink delicious (kosher) eggnog or enjoy that Mariah Carey song.

What I don’t believe is OK is feeling shame about how our holiday isn’t up to snuff or thinking that Hanukkah is somehow inferior because it’s not as significant. It just so happens that Pesach — our most widely celebrated holiday, one that is inspiring and joyous and a big deal — occurs in the spring. I doubt any Jews get jealous about not being able to celebrate Easter. How could we? We’re too busy cleaning our houses and cooking our favorite, once-a-year foods.

As hard as it may be, this year, I urge you to separate Hanukkah from Christmas and appreciate the holiday for what it is. We should be happy about our amazing tradition and not belittle it by bringing in other people’s customs.

This is the holiday when we reaffirmed our belief in our religion and didn’t let the outside world destroy who we were. Be proud of it, and don’t let anyone diminish your joy.

Kylie Ora Lobell is a writer for the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, The Forward, Tablet Magazine, Aish, and Chabad.org and the author of the first children’s book for the children of Jewish converts, “Jewish Just Like You.”