In 1832, the 23 year-old Abraham Lincoln—newly arrived to the village of New Salem, Illinois, wrestled Jack Armstrong of the Clary Grove Boys. Though some said it was a draw, the most popular account, related in Douglas Wilson's book, was that the lanky, 6 ft. 3 inch Abe threw Jack, who—when the rough fun was over—welcomed him to the neighborhood.
Bear in mind this wasn’t Greco-Roman wrestling, but the frontier kind—an excellent preparation for eye-gouging politics.
Followers of the WWE know that, around 2007, Donald Trump won a rhetorical bout with promoter Vince MacMahon whom he bested, (they used proxies), winning “The Battle of the Billionaires” and the right to administer Vince a mid-ring haircut.
I suspect Trump will also stand number one in the ring after tomorrow’s New Hampshire eye gouging. With the open question whether a fading Marco (suffering from his robotic performance in the most recent debate), Governor John Kasich, or a fast-rising Jeb Bush finishes second. Ted Cruz will also figure among the first tier of also rans.
If Jeb—now using the Bush last name and his 90 year-old mama as a campaign prop—does indeed finish second and become “the comeback kid,” I have a suggestion for perhaps the only way he could knock off Trump in the Nevada and South Carolina primaries and beyond.
He ought to call up Vince McMahan and challenge Trump to a charity exhibition. If Trump chickens out, I’m sure a pro can be recruited as a stand in. Remember last year, Mitt Romney duked it out with Evandor Holyfield.
Nothing less than this may be necessary to give Jeb the testosterone injection to beat Trump. I assume that, in love, wrestling, and politics, testosterone is still a legal performance enhancing drug. It’s past time for Jeb to man up. Mamma’s apron strings are not long enough to get him to this summer’s Convention.
