A Kitchen Fussbudget’s Pandemic Perspective

The other day, I may have been a tad overzealous in giving kitchen directives to my husband. “You have so many rules,” he observed. Guilty as charged, I thought.

But I pointed out that his mother, Elaine (of blessed memory), was looking down in approval. Elaine and I bonded in the kitchen, where we both were fussbudgets. In the beginning of our relationship, I was a lightweight compared to her: When my husband and his brother were kids, Elaine would wait each morning until she heard their approaching footsteps before squeezing oranges, lest some of the Vitamin C be dissipated before the boys drank their juice.

I learned the fine art of safe food storage and preparation from Elaine. Everything that she brought into her home from the grocery store was sanitized in some fashion — and this was in the days before disinfecting wipes. I admit that from time to time I overstep, as when I advised a young relative to scrub the avocados before cutting into them.

My food fretting has even seeped into my enjoyment of cooking shows, especially during the pandemic. One of my favorite shows, Food Network’s “The Pioneer Woman,” has been stressing me out. The show’s star, Ree Drummond, who started out as a popular blogger and now runs an empire of eateries, cookbooks, merchandise and a hotel, still creates new shows at her family’s Oklahoma ranch. Her current film crew is comprised of her kids, a nephew and sometimes the kids’ friends.

In one episode, Drummond remarked that her younger daughter and a pal, both in the kitchen, were going to the lake that day with some other kids. I speculated that no masks or social distancing would be involved. But what made me totally verklempt was an episode in which Drummond cooked lunch for more than a dozen cattle workers and family members. I figured the meal would take place outside, but it was served buffet style inside, with everyone seated around one table. “What a crowd,” one participant observed.

Most alarming was that Drummond’s elderly father-in-law, Chuck, was part of the mix. I feared the misguided message this episode was sending to Drummond’s many fans, especially with coronavirus cases surging everywhere. Clearly, Food Network needs a CFO — a Chief Fussbudget Officer.

Clearly, Food Network needs a CFO — a Chief Fussbudget Officer.

These days, a lot of us have changed our approach to food. I’ve had to cede some control: Because I’m high-risk for COVID-19 complications, I’ve been using curbside pickup or delivery services. But I don’t fret at all about someone else doing my shopping. Rather, I feel extreme gratitude for the men and women providing this essential service. (And, of course, the best way to express thanks to these folks is to give a generous tip and a high rating in the after-shopping survey.)

I’ve heard more than one fellow fussbudget say that they don’t like the idea of other people touching their groceries. But let’s get real — most items in a market have had close encounters with many hands and pesticides, used to deter rodents and bugs. Never mind COVID-19, there may be other matters you don’t want to eat on your groceries! That’s why fussbudgets suggest washing off cans, bottles, milk and juice cartons and glass and plastic containers. It’s also smart to clean all produce, even things with inedible skins, such as bananas. And the best food safety advice is to wash your hands frequently in the kitchen, especially when handling raw meats and eggs.

But experts advise we’re not likely to get coronavirus from, say, a box of cereal, because the disease is a respiratory illness, spread by airborne droplets. However, you will be at risk of infecting yourself and others if you go out and about without a mask.

Lately, I’ve wondered how Elaine would have responded to the pandemic. In all the years I knew her, I never once heard her swear. But I am certain she would have cursed Donald Trump for harming her family and all Americans by rejecting the guidance of scientists and health experts. And she would have wasted no time in establishing a new fussbudget routine — setting up her sewing machine on the kitchen table. I can picture her now, making masks for the family, reminding us to cover up whenever we leave home.

Emily Dwass is the author of “Diagnosis Female: How Medical Bias Endangers Women’s Health.”