November 19, 2018

Matzah Matta You?

I love Passover.  It’s a special, historic time of year for Jews, and the seders are always beautiful. But I have to admit (O.k., I don’t have to. I want to, because I love to kvetch.), matzah starts to get on my nerves long before the holiday is over.  I was going to devote this entire blog post to kvetching about it, but that didn’t seem right.  After all, there’s nothing like focusing on the ten plagues to make me realize that I have a lot to be grateful for.  So I’ve decided to take a “glass half full” rather than “half empty” approach to this blog, and discuss not only my complaints about matzah, but the things I like about it. So I’ve made a list of pros and cons, and here it is:

1. Let’s just say it would be nice if someone invented a product called “matzah-mucil.”
2. Packing matzah sandwiches for work, otherwise known as “bring your crumbs to work day.”
3. This is especially for Manhattanites – you can’t scoop the middle out of it.
4. Flavored matzah is an oxymoron.
5. The taste.
6. The taste.

And now, to be good to my word, are the pros:

1. It has no carbs, only cardboard.
2. Chocolate covered matzah tastes good – if you suck the chocolate off the matzah.
3. Can be used as a chalk board.
4. Can plug leaks in pipes.
5. Broken into pieces, can be used as playing cards.
6. People who read braille have told me it’s quite informative.

So there it is, the pros and cons of matzah.  Have a healthy and happy Passover!