This past weekend, I spent 30 hours over three days celebrating my own personal Independence holiday, taking out my dreads that were five years in the making. It was freeing, it was necessary, and my hair is so beautiful. I feel like it was the coda in the symphony of precious years hence, wherein I have made so much progress, but have also felt as though my life was too effected by energies that, in hindsight, were probably not the best energies for my pure heart and soul. Taking out my dreads has truly been a blessing. As I am exactly four months away from turning 27 years old – G-D Willing – I also feel my blessing has to do with owning my Womanhood, which includes my visible Queerness, my unique Black experience, and my Judaism-by-Choiceness.
But shedding my dreads has also had me thinking about one poignant aspect of the latter:
I am NOT a “Wandering Jew”.
I used to think I am, and then the last couple of days since taking out my dreads Hashem directed me to really think – really think – about what the term “Wandering Jew” means, and how it relates to me. Or not.
So, I began researching…
From Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, wandering is defined as such:
Main Entry: wandering
Function: adjective
Date: before 12th century
: characterized by aimless, slow, or pointless movement: as a : that winds or meanders b : not keeping a rational or sensible course : vagrant c : nomadic
d of a plant : having long runners or tendrils
From ” title=”Alz.org – dementia/alzheimers” target=”_blank”>dementia/alzheimers [It is common for a person with dementia to wander and become lost; many do repeatedly. In fact, over 60 percent of those with dementia will wander at some point]. There’s even a blogger and website called Wandering Chopsticks, which is home to Vietnamese recipes.
In every aspect, wandering deals with creeping, irregularity, no purpose, confusion, and that’s quite unlike who I am.
I’m terrified of spiders, I love plants and chopsticks, but wandering? Nah…
In the most negative sense, the “Wandering Jew” has most grossly been depicted in the German Nazi propaganda film, The Eternal Jew (1940), an antisemitic “documentary” with the title in German, Der ewige Jude, which is the term for the character of the “Wandering Jew” in medieval, and Christian, folklore. (” title=”Aish.com – Wandering Jew” target=”_blank”>Aish.com, which at the end stated:
As we embark on the various journeys that create the tapestry of our lives, it is important to remain focused on the exciting goals we are moving towards. In that way, with God’s help, we will find the strength and courage to stand up to the myriad of challenges life may present.
I’m not asking you to deal with G-D how I relate to G-D, nor do I believe that all who wander are lost. Oftentimes wandering is healthy while you hone what it is you want in, and out, of life, and sometimes questioning your relationship to and with G-D is also healthy. But just to wander aimlessly, or to adapt a life of going hither and thither with no direction at all, not knowing an inclination of what one wants in life, even slightly, is not only disruptive to those around you, but it can be dangerous to one’s self, especially in the case of dementia. To wander, and to be a “Wandering Jew”, are terms that I am finding are offensive and backwards, archaic even, like the usage of the word “Gyp” to define when one has been shortchanged; or “Lame”, a term used by many – especially teens – when something is not cool. Sure, we get thrown off course sometimes, and life happens totally not how we expect, but to cut ourselves short by labeling ourselves with terms that are not beneficial? Well, that’s just not cool.
So, as I am being more apt to my sincere expression of my Womanhood, and challenging terms that I have even considered myself at one time, I behoove us all to rethink how we define our Being. I mean, what’s in a name? Instead of wandering, how about living life with intention, purpose and the vulnerability and humbleness of knowing that life can change on a dime, and that we are not perfect. We owe it to ourselves as a Peoplehood to do our best and move forward with focus and faith. I owe it to myself as someone whose completeness, her Shalomness, is comprised of four major categories of minority groups to live without fear, but with a full grasp of clarity of vision, because wandering can only dilute my identity more than what history has tried to do already.
I repeat: I believe in the adage “not all who wander are lost”. But I also firmly believe that we people whom may consider ourselves as wandering may just have a lovely case of wanderlust, with spirits bursting with an energy and need to travel. And that, my friends, is fine by me and so much better.
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