October 15, 2019

Family

"I sat on my childhood bed, surrounded by 52-year-old stuffed animals, with a smartphone lodged between my ear and shoulder. My father had died unexpectedly the day before, and I was jotting down notes as my rabbi back in Ohio described various..."

"When my daughters were small they had a favorite bit of doggerel that prefigured some early feminist leanings. “Girls go to college to get more knowledge/Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider,” they would chant at me, and, with more evident..."

"Pineapples have become a powerful symbol for women struggling with infertility. The fruit appears in the profile photos and Facebook feeds of women in online infertility communities, and dominates hashtags related to in vitro fertilization on..."

"Nearly two years ago, the artist and academic Jenny Odell gave a keynote address on “how to do nothing”. In it she talked about the impact of modern life’s ceaseless demands on our time and attention, “a situation where every waking moment has..."

"The idea of paying your partner may sound absurd. But domestic work is work, and sometimes it cut into the time I wanted to spend working each week. If he was doing less of the housework but earning more, shouldn't he pay someone to complete..."

"The morning of my fourth wedding anniversary, I banged my knee on the stationary bike at the gym. It purpled and swelled, tender, like a plum. Traditional gifts for a fourth anniversary are fruit and flowers. Things with short lives; things..."

"I was on my way home, flying from New York back to Florida. In the heart of Manhattan, I had given a keynote address to a large group of researchers at Rockefeller University. Internationally known neuroscientists, men and women at the top of..."

"Let me begin with an image. It is of an old-fashioned beam balance of the sort that blind Justice is often portrayed as holding. Its very appearance tells us what it is to be accurate. What I want you to imagine is that part of your visual..."

"Women’s empowerment is usually equated with paid work outside the home. That’s a mistake. Assuming that women who choose to stay home and nurture their young children are powerless or unenlightened is not only insulting but dangerous. A woman’s..."

"As we celebrated my granddaughter’s third birthday this summer, I made the following rough calculation: I’d trekked from my home in New Jersey to her Brooklyn apartment roughly 150 times to provide once-a-week day care, plus other times as needed."

"He walked through the coffee shop door and scanned the crowd. A familiar smile bloomed as he recognized me, despite how my appearance had changed over the years. I’m bald and bearded now, and heavier. I wear an extra decade on my face, and I’m..."

"Ialways said I'd never get married and absolutely would never have children. Lots of people say that as kids, of course, but I graduated college having never gone on a single date, and as 30 approached, I detected no ticking of any biological..."

"I didn’t lead a life of any particular hardship growing up, but as a kid in New York in the 1980s, I did have to do without certain things that many of today’s middle-class parents deem essential — a yard, for example — and my dad tells me..."

"Nurse Ruth’s face was set in tense lines of seriousness as she probed my cervix with a metal instrument. I knew this procedure by heart, having been through it five times in the past 17 years: dilate the cervix, measure the uterine cavity..."

"The Sugerman family’s trip to Southern Utah this past May involved a treacherous drive. There were hairpin turns; the three adult children needed to move boulders to clear a path for the car. “We were on these roads which were barely roads..."

"Has the behaviour of another person ever made you feel ashamed? Not because they set out to shame you but because they acted so virtuously that it made you feel inadequate by comparison. If so, then it is likely that, at least for a brief moment..."

"In April, 2011, the anthropologist Caitlin Zaloom was sitting in her office at New York University when one of her most promising students appeared at her door, crying. Kimberly had dreamed of life in New York City since she was eight years old...."

"I knew my grandfather’s paintings much better than I knew the man himself. After all, I had only met my mother’s father, Moshe Vorobeichic, a few times, and I was barely a teenager at the time of our last encounter. He lived half a world away: I..."

"I’m getting teary-eyed at a fruit stand, running my fingers lightly over the fuzzy skin of a peach while willing my bottom lip to stop its ridiculous quiver. I will not cry. A little change of plans is nothing to be sad about, as sad things go..."

"What should a parent do when a 2-year-old shrieks inconsolably because her string cheese wrapper tore “the wrong way”? Increasingly, the answer is “snap a photo, add a snarky caption and upload it to Instagram.” Publicly laughing at your..."

"Voters who trust their government — and each other — are more supportive of ambitious welfare states than those who do not. Across nations, high levels of social trust correlate with high levels of social spending. The relationship between these..."

"Lauren is my name, and always has been — or so I thought until one afternoon just before I turned 30. Over turkey sandwiches, my oldest sister, Missy, and I discussed what our names might have been. “Mom was going to name you Amy Beth,” I said...."

"In spite of sharing genes and environments, siblings are often not as similar in nature as one might think. But where do the supposed differences come from? Alfred Adler, a late-19th- and early-20th-century Austrian psychotherapist and founder..."

"When I was in my early 30s, my husband of four years, partner of nine, left abruptly in the middle of the night. In the surreal weeks and months that followed, I grew increasingly apprehensive about the idea of online dating. I hadn’t been..."

"We took our children on vacation, oh yes, of course we did. We took them to the beach. We never got it together to own a second home; no country weekend cottage, no beach house. We never even got it together to achieve a recurring rental, or to..."

"In 1930, the economist John Maynard Keynes published an essay titled ‘Economic Possibilities for Our Grandchildren’, in which he anticipated how we would spend our time a hundred years ahead. Keynes predicted that future generations would enjoy..."

"I don’t often get a question that stops me in my tracks. But on a recent vacation, my daughter and I had the rare opportunity to sit down and talk in a relaxed setting. We’re at very different stages in our lives. She is 21, going into her..."

"For Heliena, throwing a gender reveal was a turning point in a series of turning points. She had found herself pregnant and single at 20, unexpectedly expecting. Heliena moved into her first apartment, held down two jobs, and kept all her..."

"Lately, I seem to be hearing complaints more often from managers about their employees. The main issue from managers is that they have to perform the parental function in workplace relations with their employees, who in turn are behaving more..."

"The Most Gullible Man in Cambridge: A Harvard Law professor who teaches a class on judgment wouldn’t seem like an obvious mark, would he? It was just supposed to have been a quick Saturday-morning errand to buy picture hooks. On March 7, 2015..."

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