fbpx

To call or not to call – that is the question…

[additional-authors]
September 22, 2011

My phone rings.  I answer.

– Hello Ma’am.  My name is Blah Blah (I’m not good with names, can’t remember what the hell he said) from Avis Heating and Air conditioning.  I’d like to talk to you about your heating system.  Would you be alright with that?

– Sure, I would be alright with talking to you about my Hot Box, as long as you would be alright with a $1,000 fine for talking to me about it, since I’m on a “Do Not Call List” and all…

Long pause.

– Um, no Ma’am I would not be alright with that.  And I didn’t call about your “hot box”, I called about your Heating system.

– Oh no?  Well, maybe you should have thought about checking that list before calling me.  See the thing is that I’m usually very nice to telemarketers especially when I have the time to listen to them, but now you pissed me off.

– How did I piss you off Ma’am?

– Well, you did it again just now; you called me Ma’am.

– I called you Ma’am?

– Yes, you called me Ma’am.  Did you forget?  Not sure if you are aware but I am a very young and energetic young lady who enjoys life, dancing and long walks on the beach preferably with a very hot, young thing who is not wearing a shirt.  Or pants.  I am not very picky.  I would prefer a shirt and no pants, but I can roll with anything.  I know that’s typically what a girl wears in all those chick flicks, a long men’s shirt and no pants, but I kinda think a hot guy would look good like that also.  What do you think?

– Ma’am, I mean Miss… I am not sure why you are telling me this, and I probably should be going now…

– Why?  Do you have something more important to do besides listen to a crazy chick fantasize?

– Well…

– No, no Paul.  Now you will listen to me.

– My name is Blah Blah.

– OK, Peter.  I guess I better let you go.  My Hot Box is making some strange sounds, need to check it out.

– It’s Blah Blah, Miss.

– Shut up.

Click.

Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.

Editor's Picks

Latest Articles

Cerf’s Up!

As the publisher and co-founder of Random House, Bennett Cerf was one of the most important figures in 20th-century culture and literature.

Are We Still Comfortably Numb?

Forgiving someone on behalf of a community that is not yours is not forgiveness. It is opportunism dressed up as virtue.

National Picnic Day

There is nothing like spreading a soft blanket out in the shade and enjoying some delicious food with friends and family.

John Lennon’s Dream – And Where It Fell Short

His message of love — hopeful, expansive, humane — inspired genuine moral progress. It fostered hope that humanity might ultimately converge toward those ideals. In too many parts of the world, that expectation collided with societies that did not share those assumptions.

Journeys to the Promised Land

Just as the Torah concludes with the people about to enter the Promised Land, leaders are successful when the connections we make reveal within us the humility to encounter the Infinite.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.