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August 26, 2019

Accidental Talmudist Podcast

Rabbi Manis Friedman: The Joy of Intimacy

Chabad rabbi, author, and public speaker Manis Friedman explains why “I love you” is the worst thing you can say to your spouse.

Rabbi Friedman’s advice for an emotionally and sexually satisfying marriage is counter-intuitive, even shocking:  “I love you” is the worst thing you can say. Love and sex are the two things that destroy marriages. Marrying for love is as bad as marrying for money.

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Congressman Tells IfNotNow the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Isn’t Black-And-White

An IfNotNow video posted on Aug. 26 shows Rep. Brad Schneider (D-Ill.) telling a couple of constituents during a Aug. 22 town hall that “everything is in shades of grey” when it comes to the Israel-Palestinian conflict.

In the video, a constituent identified as Jonathan asked Schneider if he thinks “the occupation in the West Bank and Gaza is a human rights crisis.”

Schneider replied, “We’ll start with Gaza. Ariel Sharon pulled out of Gaza exactly 14 years ago, August of 2005.”

Jonathan then interjected that he “was just asking a yes or no question,” prompting Schneider to reply, “There is no yes or no here. Everything’s in shades of grey.”

The video later cuts to another constituent identified as Nathan asking Schneider how his position on United States-Israel relations differs from President Trump, given that Schneider praised Trump’s decision to move U.S. embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, his exit from the 2015 Iran nuclear deal and recognizing Israel’s sovereignty over the Golan Heights.

“If you would talk to Israelis, if they think the U.S. should move its capital to Jerusalem, they would say ‘yes’,” Schneider said, “and not just the U.S., every country should move their embassy to the capital.”

“You represent American Jews, not Israelis,” Nathan replied.

“No, I represent the United States,” Schneider responded.

Israeli writer Shoshanna Keats Jaskoll tweeted, “Thank you @RepSchneider
for your integrity & refusal to be bullied by people who try to force others to respond to simplistic questions on a conflict affecting millions of people thousands of miles away. Well done.”

Others weighed in:

IfNotNow has encouraged boycotts of the Birthright trip to Israel because they don’t think it balanced enough toward the Palestinians. Canary Mission, a watchdog against anti-Semitism, published a July report stating that IfNotNow has been partnering with Americans for Muslims in Palestine, which Canary Mission says is “rife with anti-Semitism and terror support.”

Congressman Tells IfNotNow the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Isn’t Black-And-White Read More »

DOJ to Seek Death Penalty Against Alleged Pittsburgh Shooter

The Department of Justice announced on Aug. 26 that they will be seeking the death penalty against Robert Bowers, the alleged gunman behind the Tree of Life synagogue shooting in October.

DOJ prosecutors argued in their filing, “Bowers targeted men and women participating in Jewish religious worship at the Tree of Life Synagogue, located in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which is home to one of the largest and oldest urban Jewish populations in the United States, in order to maximize the devastation, amplify the harm of his crimes and instill fear within the local, national, and international Jewish communities.”

The shooting resulted in 11 dead; Bowers has plead not guilty to the 63 federal charges filed against him.

President Donald Trump had called for the death penalty against Bowers in October, saying at the time, “I think they should very much bring the death penalty into vogue. Anybody that does a thing like this to innocent people that are in temple or in church. We had so many incidents with churches. They should really suffer the ultimate price.”

Pittsburgh’s New Light Congregation Rabbi Jonathan Perlman argued against the death penalty in a letter to Attorney General William Barr earlier in the month, stating, “I would like the Pittsburgh killer to be incarcerated for the rest of his life without parole. He should meditate on whether taking action on some white separatist fantasy against the Jewish people was really worth it. Let him live with it forever.”

Three of the victims of the shooting were New Light congregants.

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Protesters Descend on Local Shivah Home of Man Who Refuses to Issue Wife a Get

On the morning of Aug. 23, Meir Kin and his siblings were sitting shivah for their recently deceased mother. But outside their home in the Fairfax district, close to 30 people gathered, determined to disrupt the quiet surrounding the house of mourning.

The protesters, shouting “Meir Kin, Stop the Abuse!” included Rabbis Yosef Kanefsky of B’nai David-Judea and Kalman Topp of Beth Jacob Congregation, and Shalhevet High School students, among others. They were there to denounce Kin’s refusal to give his ex-wife, Lonna Kin, a get (Jewish divorce decree.)

The conflict between Kin, a physician’s assistant who now lives in Las Vegas, and Lonna, a real estate broker in Monsey, N.Y., has been going on for 15 years. The couple received a civil divorce in 2007, but to date Kin has refused to issue Lonna a get, which under rabbinic law can only be given by the male spouse. 

Even though Kin remarried in 2014, Lonna remains an agunah (chained woman), making it impossible for her to remarry under Jewish law. 

At Kin’s second wedding, members of the local Modern Orthodox community traveled to Las Vegas to protest. At the time, Kin claimed he had entered into the new marriage through heter meah rabbanim (the permission of 100 rabbis).

The issue of agunot, and the Kins’ case in particular, returned to the spotlight after Kin’s 81-year-old mother died on Aug. 18. The Kin family sent her body to Israel to be buried but Chief Rabbi of Israel David Lau refused to move forward with the burial until Kin provided Lonna with a get. 

 “This is a case in which Jewish law is being mocked, ridiculed, dragged through the mud.”— Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky 

Kin allegedly agreed to Lau’s terms and his mother was buried in Israel. However, shortly thereafter, Kin said in a video posted on Aug. 22 on YouTube that he never made any agreement with Lau.

“The rabbinate … publicized that they withheld burial of my mother for reasons relating to a get and because of that I changed my mind and agreed to give a get immediately,” Kin said in the video. “This is all fake news. No one from the rabbinate … contacted me and nobody agreed to any conditions.”

Kin concluded the video by stating, “You should know that a get has been waiting for my wife for over 10 years at the Beit Din of Shaarey Mishpat [in Monsey].”

Kin made the same claim over a decade ago. The Journal covered the story in 2009, and then assistant director of the New York-based Organization for the Resolution for Agunot (ORA), Rabbi Jeremy Stern, told the Journal that particular beit din (Jewish court of law), run by Rabbi Tzvi Dov Abraham, is “universally reviled as extortionist.” 

WATCH: Protesters Chant, “Meir Kin, Stop the Abuse!”

And so, protesters in Los Angeles showed up early at the shivah house on Aug. 23 — around 7:30 a.m. — with Los Angeles Police Department officers arriving on the scene to ensure the protests remained peaceful.

Protesters pleaded with the mourners as they came and went from the shivah house. “What if it was your daughter?” one man asked. Later, the sprinklers on the front lawn came on, pushing the demonstrators farther back from the property. 

Outside the home, Kanefsky told the Journal, “This is a case in which Jewish law is being mocked, ridiculed, dragged through the mud. If you care about the integrity of Jewish law, it’s an outrageous abuse of everything we hold sacred.”

Speaking to the Journal by phone from Monsey, Lonna Kin said she was heartened that people in L.A. were taking up her cause.

“I am a symbol of other women, other women like me who are also waiting and suffering,” she said. “My reaction [to the demonstration] is mixed emotions, basically. I appreciate someone would go to those lengths to do that for someone else.”

Protesters Descend on Local Shivah Home of Man Who Refuses to Issue Wife a Get Read More »

Trump Doesn’t Understand American Jews’ Political Views

Did President Donald Trump actually refer to American Jews as “a basket of deplorables”? Not quite. But as a reminder, it was approximately three years ago that Hillary Clinton used that phrase to disparage Trump supporters, arguing that many voters preparing to cast a ballot for her opponent were motivated by racism and sexism, introducing that phrase to the political lexicon.

When Trump recently castigated Jewish voters for their failure to reward him with their support, he used different language with which to level his criticism. Instead of calling Jews “deplorable,” he said that widespread Jewish backing of Democratic candidates demonstrated “either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty.”

Slightly more than 70% of American Jews voted for Clinton in the 2016 election. Using that number (and a thesaurus), Trump appears to believe more than two-thirds of Jewish voters in this country either are stupid or treasonous.

Specific word choice notwithstanding, that sounds pretty deplorable.

We’ve learned over the past few years that Trump divides the world into two groups: his loyal friends and his sworn enemies. He believes the phrase “a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty” applies to anyone who would stand in the way of his reelection. His thinking has less to do with anti-Semitism than an extraordinarily tribalist view of Earth’s population.

Trump divides people not just between allies and opponents, but heroes and villains. The result is a mindset that sees political campaigns as cataclysmic battles between the forces of good and evil. This mentality now dominates the thinking of both political parties (and means Joe Biden is either the last sane person in American politics or a hopelessly naïve relic of a bygone era).

Clinton’s insults in 2016 caused her tremendous political damage. Throughout her campaign, she had struggled to attract support from the white working-class voters who had been a critical part of the coalition that elected her husband and most other modern Democratic presidential candidates. The backlash to her remarks permanently put out of reach the large majority of those voters.

Trump’s challenge is a different one. Most of the American-Jewish community was permanently out of his reach even before his recent exercise in name-calling. But the frustration that led him to lash out is a familiar one. It reflects decades of erroneous Republican thinking when it comes to the political motivations of Jewish voters. For the better part of a generation, GOP politicians and strategists have believed their party’s strong record on issues relating to Israel and the Middle East would (or should) lead to increased levels of support from Jewish voters.

“For the better part of a generation, GOP politicians and strategists have believed their party’s strong record on issues relating to Israel and the Middle East would (or should) lead to increased levels of support from Jewish voters.”

But public-opinion polling over that time consistently has shown that most American Jews prioritize candidates’ domestic social and cultural policy agenda over their views on Israel. Trump made the same mistake Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and countless other Republican leaders have made in the past —just louder and more confrontationally.

The original targets of Trump’s attacks — Reps. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) and Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) —– demonstrate the potential limits of that issue hierarchy with Jewish voters. Most American Jews prefer Democratic politicians, but not those who support the boycott, divestment and sanctions (BDS) movement or who harbor the type of anti-Zionist and anti-Semitic sentiments Omar and Tlaib regularly express. Trump has devoted huge amounts of time and energy to highlighting the roles of these two women in the Democratic Party and attempting to force their colleagues into either standing with them or disavowing them. It’s a fairly standard campaign tactic — the same strategy Republicans have used, linking Nancy Pelosi with Democratic candidates in contested congressional races, and which Democrats employ in those same districts by invoking Trump.

The difference is that Trump didn’t just insult his political opponents. Just as Clinton did during her presidential campaign, he expanded his attacks to the voters themselves, which is much more dangerous.

Just as the majority of Trump’s supporters are neither racist nor sexist, most American Jews possess abundant amounts of both knowledge and loyalty. In both cases, suggesting otherwise is downright deplorable.


Dan Schnur is a professor at the USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism, UC Berkeley’s Institute of Governmental Studies and Pepperdine University.

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Iran Sanctions U.S. Think Tank

The Iranian Foreign Ministry announced on Aug. 24 that they are sanctioning the Washington, D.C.-based think-tank Foundation for Defense of Democracies (FDD) over their criticisms of the regime.

According to the state-run Mehr News Agency, the ministry is accusing the FDD of promulgating “economic terrorism” through their critiques of the Iranian regime and singled out the think-tank’s CEO, Mark Dubowitz.

Taking any actions by the judicial and security apparatuses against the FDD and their Iranian and non-Iranian accomplices will be considered legitimate as their actions are against Iran’s national security and the interests of Iranian people and government,” the Mehr News report states.

The FDD responded in a statement that they consider Iran’s sanctions “a badge of honor” and will continue their work against the Iranian regime.

The Islamic Republic, which has occupied the great nation of Iran for four decades, continues to brutally repress the peoples of Iran, stealing their wealth and creating destruction and chaos in the Middle East,” the think-tank’s statement read. “FDD considers its inclusion on any list put out by the regime as a badge of honor and looks forward to the day when Americans and others can visit a free and democratic Iran.”

Dubowitz tweeted, “Remember: it’s not ‘Iran’ or the ‘Iranian regime’ because there’s nothing Iranian about this odious regime. It’s the Islamic Republic & its regime that illegally occupies & brutalizes the great nation of Iran.”

State Department spokeswoman Morgan Ortagus tweeted, “The outlaw regime in Iran issued a threat today against @FDD, an American think tank, and its CEO. The U.S. takes the regime’s threats seriously. We intend to hold Iran responsible for directly or indirectly compromising the safety of any American.”

Many across the political spectrum tweeted in solidarity with FDD:

The FDD was founded in 2001 in the aftermath of the 9/11 terror attacks and  focuses on research and policy proscriptions toward “strengthening U.S. national security and reducing or eliminating threats posed by adversaries and enemies of the United States and other free nations,” according to the think-tank’s website.

Iran Sanctions U.S. Think Tank Read More »

Netanyahu Political Rival Benny Gantz Gets Security Briefing

JERUSALEM (JTA) — In a rare occurrence, the head of the main opposition party in Israel was briefed on recent security incidents.

Benny Gantz, who leads the Blue and White, received the briefing from security officials on orders from Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, although he is not officially the opposition leader, the Kan public broadcaster reported. Gantz and his party remain the chief rival of Netanyahu and his Likud party in the Sept. 17 elections.

Gantz is a former Israel Defense Forces chief of staff. He and Netanyahu, also the defense minister, generally agree on defense issues.

The briefing comes following a weekend in which an Israeli teen was killed in a bomb attack, Israel allegedly struck Iranian targets in Syria and Palestinian terror targets in Lebanon, and rockets were fired from Gaza on southern Israel.

Gantz did not comment on the briefing, saying in a statement issued by the party: “As a general rule, Blue and White chairman Lt. Gen. (res.) Benny Gantz does not make a habit of discussing even the existence of security briefings, and certainly not their content.”

Netanyahu Political Rival Benny Gantz Gets Security Briefing Read More »

Palestinian Territories No Longer on State Department Website

The Palestinian territories are no longer listed under the “countries and areas” section on the State Department’s website, according to journalist Aaron Magid.

Magid noticed the Palestinian territories’ absence from the website on Aug. 23:

The State Department told The Times of Israel (TOI), “The website is being updated. There has been no change to our policy.” TOI noted that the Palestinian territories are still listed under the Israel section of the State Department’s website.

Palestinian Authority spokesperson Abu Rudaineh criticized the move as evidence that “the US administration is biased in favor of the Israeli occupation.”

George Mason Law Professor Eugene Kontorovich asked on Twitter, “Does this mean Kurds and Sawhari, to take just two examples also ‘don’t exist’ because they don’t have an entry on the website…”

The incident occurs as President Donald Trump is gearing up to unveil his “Deal of the Century” to resolve the Israel-Palestinian conflict. Trump announced on Aug. 26 that he could reveal his proposal right before Israel’s September elections.

“I think they want to make a deal, the Palestinians, and I think Israel would like to make a deal too,” Trump said. “I think people, after so many years and decades, I think they’re a little tired of fighting.”

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STAY TUNED: Controlling Nerves

Q: When I first started acting, I had trouble controlling my nerves. My whole body would shake. What is the best way to control your nerves during an audition and on set? 

Great question! Nerves are excess energy. The actor’s job is to make choices about where to direct your energy so that it serves your higher purpose.

It’s natural for us to have increased adrenaline in a situation when we’re aware of being watched. The normal reaction to a bunch of people looking at you, or several cameras in your face, is self-consciousness. How can we concentrate our attention on something that is more engaging to the instrument than this feeling of self-consciousness?

I recently learned that physiologically, we experience basically the same sensation when we are nervous as when we are excited. So, it becomes interesting to the actor when you feel nervous, to change the inner dialogue from “I’m nervous” to “I’m excited”. Try that and see if it shifts your perspective!

Relaxation is essential. Whatever you do in your practice to physically open and free your body from muscular tension must be part of the actor’s daily practice.

Once you start with a physically relaxed body, the next level of work begins: choosing what to concentrate on.

Actors often forget to breathe. As simple as it sounds, taking four of the deepest inhales and exhales possible at any point in the day, is helpful to recalibrate the instrument. Try this anytime you experience your attention going to a non-useful place. You want to be connected to your breath always, including while acting. Keep breathing deeply.

Acting is a mind body spirit connection, so you aren’t going to solve the actor’s problems with just the mind. A personal connection is necessary to focus your attention on what will actually get you out of your idea of the scene and into the playing of the scene. The first question I ask actors when starting with material is, what’s interesting to you about this? What does the character need from life, and how can you personally relate to that? How does it remind you of something you’ve lived through emotionally? Why is it necessary to you that you do what you do in the scene? Once you start to engage from this place within yourself, you will find an urgency to act. Your unconscious and subconscious mind are ignited to come to your aid. Your character has something important to do, and you know why you have to do it. There are problems to solve that are set up in the story, and you personally need to solve them.

You are the character, the character lives through you. So, whatever you are experiencing, your character is experiencing. If a surge of adrenaline comes up, the tendency is to label it as wrong and then try to pretend that

sensation is not happening or to try to suppress it. But what I’d like to urge actors to do is to not judge the sensation, just to let it live and inform you. This is what is meant when you hear: “use it in the scene”. You accept and engage what is actually going on with you as what your character is experiencing in that moment. Because it is! When we try to deny or supress the sensations that are expressing in us, it creates tension in the body and an inability to live truthfully.

Now, your character may not be expressive, but that is something else. You are still having the experiences you are having. Then, if the character has behavior or personality traits that hide their inner life, great. It’s layered. But you can’t play the cover. You have to exist truthfully, and then behave as you would socially.

Now of course things can take you out of the scene, even after you’ve properly prepared the work. Some of the most accomplished actors in the world admit to these feelings every time they work. But now you know specifically where to shift your attention back to.

It’s easy to judge sensation rather than accept it. But you are creating a full human being with flaws and emotions and a nervous system. The job of the actor is to choose what to concentrate on so that you can live the scene rightly with all of your humanity. Our work is to prepare what your points of concentration are so that once you hit the set or the stage you can just live freely and in the moment. By connecting relaxation, concentrating on your

personal and specific choices, and accepting whatever comes up in the scene as part of the scene, you will find that the instrument transcends shaking.

Talent is nothing but a prolonged period of attention and a shortened period of mental assimilation. -Constantin Stanislavski

Thanks for the great question and keep up the great work!

Stay tuned @staytunedla.
-Kymberly

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