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February 20, 2019

What Marie Kondo Taught Me About ‘Sparking Joy’ in God

“The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: ‘Tell the Israelite people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart so moves him. (Exodus 25:1-2)’ ”

When I was a kid, tidying up was definitely not something I looked forward to.

Now it’s officially a craze.

The Netflix original series “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo” is a big hit. It’s based on her book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” which has sold millions of copies and has been translated to 30 languages.

Here’s how Kondo describes the way it all started:

“I was obsessed with what I could throw away. One day, I had a kind of nervous breakdown and fainted. I was unconscious for two hours. When I came to, I heard a mysterious voice, like some god of tidying telling me to look at my things more closely. And I realized my mistake: I was only looking for things to throw out. What I should be doing is finding the things I want to keep. Identifying the things that make you happy: That is the work of tidying.”

The basic idea is to go through your belongings, keeping only those things that “make your heart flutter” or “spark joy” in you. 

I was thinking about this “tidying up” phenomenon as I read the opening verses of last week’s Torah portion.

Our ancestors are asked to bring donations for the construction of the Tabernacle. 

All sorts of objects are mentioned — gold and silver and bronze; linen and ram skins; acacia wood; pure oil for the menorah; aromatic incense; precious stones. All for the purpose of constructing a Tabernacle so that, as our Torah puts it, we might be closer to God. 

It’s an inversion. We are asked to take objects that most probably make OUR hearts flutter, and we give them away for a higher purpose. 

Here’s the insight from our tradition: The focus is on “sparking joy,” as it were, in God’s heart, in the hearts of members of our community. 

“Let’s ask ourselves — just as a thought experiment —  what we could do to spark joy in God and in those around us.”

I’m not suggesting that what God wants above all else is for us to build edifices in God’s honor. I don’t believe that God would very much care about that sort of stuff.

But the notion that we should devote our time, our talent, and our treasure to behaving in ways that would bring God joy and satisfaction — I like that idea very much.

Indeed — that idea makes my heart flutter.

Let’s ask ourselves — just as a thought experiment —  what we could do to spark joy in God and in those around us. I bet we would be kinder, gentler, more loving and more generous people. I imagine we would fight harder for justice. I’m sure we would be better people as a result. 

It’s not that our joy is unimportant. It’s the idea that the well-being and satisfaction of others should matter, too. 

And it’s a core Jewish value. It’s the way the Rambam understands the very central teaching of our tradition, what Rabbi Akiva called the great principle of Torah:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

What I want for myself — that is, what makes my heart flutter — I work to provide for the other.

This way of thinking, this way of living will make hearts flutter. It will spark joy in others, in ourselves and maybe even in God. 

It’s the kind of tidying up to which we should commit ourselves.


Rabbi Yoshi Zweiback is the senior rabbi at Stephen Wise Temple.

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Prayer Forces a Person to Slow Down — and That’s Good

As a workaholic, the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up is work. I’m constantly brainstorming how to fit work into my schedule by using life hacks and productivity tips to do everything faster. 

I never shower longer than 10 minutes, I work out in an hour max and I prep my meals in a few minutes. Unhealthy, I know. But I’m embracing ways to slow down. 

One of the baby steps I recently took was extending the time I take to pray. I used to recite only the morning blessings and say the Shema when I woke up and before bed. Now, every day, I do those along with the Shemoneh Esrei, Aleinu and the Song of the Day. Usually, I’m frantic in the morning because, oh my gosh, another workday has started and I have so much to get done. But now, because of prayer, I’ve added meditation and calm into my morning routine. 

There is a trend — especially among millennials and especially in Los Angeles — to meditate. Apps such as Headspace and Calm teach users how to slowly incorporate more meditation into your day. People are supposed to sit quietly, release anxious thoughts, take deep breaths and slowly become a Zen master. The same is said of yoga. 

Although I love that meditation is trending, and yoga is popular, Jews should remember that we have built-in meditation in our practices that we should be proud of and utilize. We don’t need to say, “Namaste” or adopt a Buddhist lifestyle to achieve inner peace. 

It’s good to always seek truth. In my opinion, the ultimate truth lies in the Torah and siddur and not solely in a yoga studio or meditation room. Using a combination of yoga, meditation and Jewish prayer is ideal in order to stabilize your central nervous system and help you feel balanced. 

“I believe that after you’ve promised yourself to implement a Jewish practice, there is no going back. You’re obligated.”

For 15 minutes every day — longer for men who wrap tefillin — a person can focus on thanking HaShem; learn valuable lessons from the prayers, such as the importance of visiting the sick; and be grateful that he or she is alive and free. 

While on occasion I’ve abstained from Facebook for a week and turned off my phone, the only truly calming practices I’ve maintained are praying daily and observing Shabbat. When there isn’t some higher meaning behind it, I find self-imposed practices hard to sustain. But I believe that after you’ve promised yourself to implement a Jewish practice, there is no going back. You’re obligated. And you’re making a great spiritual change in the universe, even if you don’t see it. 

I’m constantly fighting that frenzied feeling the world imposes on us nowadays. We’re all busy with cellphone messages, jobs, the pressure to achieve the American dream and the desire to keep up with the news of the day. 

I say, to heck with all of it. Start praying, and you’ll be calm and stable and learn, internally, what matters most to you. You’ll be able to determine where your heart and soul wish to guide you. Prayer centers you, helping you block out all the unnecessary noise, and giving you the opportunity to listen to yourself. 

I encourage you to open a siddur and start slowly. If you don’t understand the Hebrew, then start in English. Think about the meaning of the words. Take in your beautiful traditions. And give yourself a few minutes to shut out everything else and know yourself. Only then will you be able to conquer the day and thrive as you go out into the world.


Kylie Ora Lobell is a contributing writer at the Jewish Journal.

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Becoming Alpha

An old friend recently sent me a music video of the song “Thunder” by the pop-rock group Imagine Dragons, with the note: “This is you, as a public Zionist.”

Having gotten fairly used to my public Zionism causing significant ruptures in my friendships, I braced myself for his inevitable blocking on social media or (my personal favorite) “You’re better than this.” Instead, he quickly followed up with: “You’ve become quite alpha; it’s good to see.” 

This is a guy who knew me in my 20s, when I was so shy I had trouble speaking up at meetings. I was never a conformist and never had trouble defending what I believed in, but I never went out of my way to confront people — especially with those who seemed desperate for confrontations to satisfy their own emotional needs.

And then Israel re-entered my life with the Hamas war of 2014. There are times when not speaking up isn’t an option; that was one of those times.

With each confrontation, I became stronger, more confident, more assertive. Israel helped me find bravery and resilience I didn’t know was there. And I will forever be grateful.

Interestingly, the stronger I became, the more I craved feminine — softer — things. I now own an array of miniskirts. Powder pink is my new favorite color. I’m not a pantsuit alpha. I’m more like a lipstick-and-heels alpha.

It makes evolutionary sense. Nature is in a constant struggle for balance. I became tougher but also more emotional and spiritual.

“The key is balance, and it’s going to be different for each of us. I’m thrilled with my newfound strengths. I wish I had had them when I was younger.”

When I wrote my book, “The Lipstick Proviso: Women, Sex & Power in the Real World,” one of my main points was that we now need to refocus on the personal: on women strengthening themselves and taking more responsibility for our lives. That was in 1997. I think it’s safe to say that not many women listened to me. In fact, I think many of the #MeToo “scandals” could have been avoided if some women had not put themselves in irresponsible situations or had taken control of the situation as an alpha female would.

Instead, genderists have taken “the personal is political” to such levels of absurdity that a woman (just like certain minorities) is never held responsible for her action or inaction (unless of course she holds the “wrong” political views). I can assure you this is quite the opposite of what original feminists intended.

The key word in all of this is “control” — being in control of both our emotions and our strength instead of letting either one control us. Not surprisingly, in all of the discussions of toxic masculinity — by which, of course, is meant toxic alphaness — one never sees a point made about control, about how we should teach our alpha sons — and I have one of them — when and how to use their strength. But it’s equally important that women — and men — are in control of their emotions and not ruled by them. 

Genderists try to avoid the emotion conversation by saying that if we would all turn into neutered robots, we would be fine. The fact that I even have to state, “No, all would not be fine; that goes against nature and feminism, not to mention sanity,” shows how base our conversations on the subject have become.

Life is full of light and challenges. The key is to be able to respond to each appropriately — to know when to use and how to nourish our inner resources of strength and bravery. Feminism never intended for that strength to undermine the dance of courtship or the emotional apex of child rearing, and it certainly never intended for a woman to experience the beauty of bringing a child into the world and then having to run back to the office the next day. 

The key is balance, and it’s going to be different for each of us. I’m thrilled with my newfound strengths. I wish I had had them when I was younger. They just helped me get through the most difficult year of my life. My dad, who turns 89 next week, always wanted me to be more alpha; he just didn’t know how to make that happen. 

Happy birthday, Dad.


Karen Lehrman Bloch is an author and cultural critic living in New York City.

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In Praise of Denominations

One of the cool and fashionable expressions in modern Jewish life is to say you’re “post-denominational” — that is, you’re a Jew who doesn’t fit into categories and doesn’t need labels. Rabbi Irving “Yitz” Greenberg captured this notion with his memorable, biting line, “I don’t care what denomination you belong to, as long as you’re embarrassed by it.”

Greenberg, who is Modern Orthodox and made that statement during a 2006 interview, was dramatizing the sentiment that labels are inherently divisive, since they put more emphasis on our differences than on what we have in common. I’ve always had sympathy for that critique. When I started a spiritual magazine many years ago to promote Jewish unity, we had a T-shirt that said “I’m an ashkephardicultrarefoconservadox Jew and proud of it.”

Over the years, I’ve learned to balance my idealism with reality, and the reality is that human beings enjoy belonging to like-minded groups. In the Jewish world, these like-minded groups go far beyond the Big Three denominations of Reform, Conservative and Orthodox.

Even within denominations, there are plenty of variations. Under the broad Orthodox label, for example, you will find variations such as Open, Modern, Yeshivish, ultra-Orthodox, Chasidic and so on. All of these groups and subgroups have things that distinguish them — from davening style to rabbinic leaders to interpretation of Jewish law to specific traditions based on their ancestry. 

The point is this: The Jewish community is and always has been splintered around myriad factors that go way beyond the broad religious denominations. 

“Given the differences among Jewish groups, how realistic is it to envision a ‘post-denominational’ future for American Judaism?”

Choosing a synagogue is a key point of distinction. In Los Angeles, for example, Jews who belong to the IKAR community are different from Jews who belong to Sinai Temple, just as members of Young Israel of Century City are different from members of The Happy Minyan. Yes, they are all Jewish and have plenty in common, but there are different tastes, different flavors, different priorities.

The same applies to my Sephardic community — there are many flavors. I get the goosebumps when I hear prayer melodies from my Moroccan childhood. I don’t feel the same way about melodies from other places, which is normal. We have a unique connection to the traditions we grew up with, especially when they trigger our nostalgia.

Here’s the larger question: Given the differences among Jewish groups, how realistic is it to envision a “post-denominational” future for American Judaism? I know Greenberg was speaking in jest, but is belonging to a denomination or specific group really something to be embarrassed about?

In our cover story this week, we go in the opposite direction. Our book editor Jonathan Kirsch reviews the latest book by American Jewish University professor Elliot Dorff, “Modern Conservative Judaism: Evolving Thought and Practice,” that proudly makes a case for the Conservative denomination. 

“For those who grew up in other expressions of Judaism,” Dorff writes, “I hope the book will deepen your understanding of Conservative Judaism beyond the one-dimensional ‘Orthodox Judaism watered down’ or ‘Reform Judaism beefed up’ and impel you to engage with its teachings on its own terms.” 

Ironically, one of those teachings is the embrace of dissent within Dorff’s own denomination.

“Conservative rabbis and lay leaders reveled in the diversity of opinion and practice within the movement,” he writes. “They did not want to squelch its creativity and liveliness, and, furthermore, they believed it would be Jewishly inauthentic to adopt a rigid definition of what a Conservative Jew must believe or do.”

“Denominations, and all the movements within and around them, are just another expression of a 3,500-year-old work in progress. The Jewish journey itself feels like a never-ending procession of breakaway minyans.”

In an interview with Kirsch, Dorff endorsed the very notion of denominations: “I am a pluralist,” he says. “I don’t think that the major problem in Jewish life is that we have too many denominations.”

Neither do I.

Denominations, and all the movements within and around them, are just another expression of a 3,500-year-old work in progress. The Jewish journey itself feels like a never-ending procession of breakaway minyans. Some Jews think they have something new to add, so they go off and try it out. For all we know, that dance between stability and restlessness may be the key to our continuing survival.

At its best, Judaism provides a refuge of meaning from the emptiness and uncertainties of life. Denominations provide ideological homes, just as synagogues provide communal homes. It’s natural that we gravitate toward a specific place within that refuge that is more familiar to us and appeals to us the most.

Of course, there is plenty of room in all of these nooks and crannies for wandering Jews who feel like experimenting with different flavors. Maybe that’s what people mean when they say they’re “post-denominational.” It’s not that they don’t believe in groups or denominations, they just want to be free to try as many of them as they like.

After all, what is “post-denominational” if not a group you enjoy belonging to?

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Anti-Semitic Flyers Found on University of Montana Campus

Several anti-Semitic flyers were found on the University of Montana’s campus in Missoula on Feb. 18, which has become a recent trend on that particular campus.

The flyers reportedly featured a quote from the late Rabbi Ovadia Yosef that states, “Goyim were born only to serve us.”

It was the fourth time in February that anti-Semitic flyers were found on the campus and the sixth time anti-Semitic flyers have been found on the campus since November. One of the previous flyers included an image of President Trump with the Israeli flag, captioned, “Jews attack the First Amendment” as well as a flyer accusing Jews of enslavement.

“Respond with pride in your religion,” Rabbi Chezy Vogel of the Chabad Jewish Center of Missoula told NBC Montana. “Stand up for what you believe in.”

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Feb. 22, 2019

Check out our 2019 Oscar Issue:

Feb. 22, 2019 Read More »