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Jewish Journal

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October 5, 2017

Letters to the Editor: Rob Eshman, David Myers, forgiveness and Holocaust deniers

Leave a Comment / Letters to the Editor /

Rob Eshman’s Fans Give Him a Shoutout

I will be one of those people who will miss you, Rob Eshman. Your column was always the first thing I read when I opened the Jewish Journal (“The Last Column,” Sept. 29). I truly enjoy your perspective and the many things happening locally and in the world.

Many people think your viewpoint is slanted, but I have found you to be the common sense in the middle of the controversy. Your column has often made me think about how I feel about something, about whether I agree or disagree. I like that. If you decide to have a public email commentary, I would love to be included.

Thank you for your many years of Jewish Journal involvement. It has been your column that has kept me reading the Jewish Journal because I live in the eastern area of Los Angeles County and do not get involved in most the Jewish happenings around the city.

Myra Weiss via email

I’m so sorry you’re leaving the Journal.  (Maybe you’ll write an occasional opinion piece, for old time’s sake?). Even though I feel like I should begin my cover-to-cover reading of the Journal with the rabbinic column on the weekly Torah portion, in reality I’ve always turned to your column first.  They are so insightful and to the point. I don’t know what I’ll do without my weekly fix.

You have led the Journal exactly where it needs to go.  May you find whatever you do next to be rewarding.

Phyllis Sorter via email

In his final column, Rob Eshman announced he is leaving as editor-in-chief and publisher of the bravely open Journal, reassuring the Journal’s faithful readers that the most “Jewish” worldview is an honestly open worldview that the Journal’s staff and readers can, as a complex yet unified community, benefit by if they maintain their grounding in the Judaic belief that “God is One,” while creating an increasingly complex world. Eshman states that the role of the Jewish journalist is to publish stories that reflect the complexities and uncertainties of living, knowing that in publishing stories regarding the complexities of even the smallish Jewish world, one will receive negative responses from somewhere — the Jewish communities in the United States, in Israel or even the small Jewish community in Iran.

A Jew must be courageous in the face of complexity, diversity and even anti-Semitism, yet have sufficient humility to accept those conditions without losing faith in ehad (unity). “Complexity within the context of unity” should continue to be the editorial policy of the Journal.

William E. Baumzweiger, Studio City

How about pitching your personal story as a modern Jewish contemporary replacement to parenthood? That way, the ache in my sad heart would weekly be replenished! Your parents have raised a fine human being. You have been a godsend as well as a blessing to my husband and me. Surviving daily now in this bleak age of that man occupying the White House is horrifying as well as preposterous. But your column (Marty Kaplan’s often, as well) have embraced our hearts, fears and humanism. But asking you to hold back your obvious talents is selfish.

I simply want my letter to be one more of the many you have already received saying you left me in tears and take with you my heart. 

You are never alone or unloved.

Elaine Kretchman via email

Your last column, not surprisingly, was deeply reflective, filled with gratitude and hope. You sound ready for the next (unknown) chapter in your life.

Thank you for enriching us every week with your humanity, your intelligence and your informed reporting. Your column helped me gain perspective on complex issues facing us during turbulent and confusing times in the news.

You will be missed.

Perla Karney via email

I love the Jewish Journal for its ability to reflect different points of view. And the most nourishing in form and content has been Rob Eshman. He will be missed, particularly by this Bronx Jew.

Also, Danielle Berrin’s column (“A Conversation With God,” Sept. 29) reflects humor and wisdom. It’s a distinct pleasure to read a column that makes me smile, think and experience a spiritual backbone.

Rick Edelstein via email

L’shanah tovah to you and your family, Rob. I know that I will miss you on jewishjournal.com and look forward to hearing somehow about your future endeavors. You are doing a wise thing, I think. This is a good time to make a change. I let go of the trapeze at just about the same age as you and I ended up grabbing on to some good bars on the other side.

Howard L. Hoffman via jewishjournal.com

Rob, I am a major Eshman fan, which you know, and although I am also a David Suissa fan because David is a mensch through and through with a heart as big as the Jewish world, I found myself reading your columns weekly often to learn what I thought about this, that or another issue. So, I will miss you in these pages, but am glad that we are friends and I hope that that friendship will continue until we’re both really old men — I have 10 years on you, by the way, but who’s counting? Gmar chatimah tovah v’hatzl’cha b’chol dar’checha!

Rabbi John Rosove, Temple Israel of Hollywood, via jewishjournal.com

David Myers Is Qualified for His New Job

Let’s see if I have this right. David Myers, a professor of Jewish history at UCLA, becomes CEO of the Center for Jewish History in New York, and is deemed by some people to be unfit for that position because they don’t like some of his political positions, not because of his credentials.

My reply, in the words of the Distinguished Professor of Tennis John McEnroe, is, “You cannot be serious!”

Stephen J. Meyers via email

Why Should I Ask for Forgiveness?

I am a Jew and I don’t like nor participate in Yom Kippur. I am a decent person throughout the entire year and there is absolutely no reason for me to participate in a holiday during which I am required to repent for the monstrous acts that I have committed all year long. None exists for me.

Now, I do know many Jews who have been horrible, lying cheats all year long. On Yom Kippur, they fast and attend shul. I ask myself, do they ask forgiveness from God or do these lowlifes consider cheating, etc., as nothing particularly offensive? I spent my Yom Kippur day enjoying a sandwich outdoors and gardening, and I felt completely at ease with myself.

Alexandra Joans, Los Angeles

Science vs. Holocaust Deniers

We never need to fear the Holocaust revisionists (“Rare Holocaust Photos Resurface in North Hollywood Home,” Sept. 29). The secret lies in the paper that the Germans used to print their images. Most of the companies that made the went out of business around 1945. Using fibers, taken from the photographic paper that the Germans used to make their images, today’s science and technology can trace almost to the exact year, month and country from where the images were printed. Because of this, Holocaust deniers can rant all they want about doctored images, but the truth is revealed in the paper, much like the words are revealed from the Torah.

Hallie Lerman, professional photographer, Los Angeles

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Toward a Radical Middle

Leave a Comment / Opinion /

I never thought I’d be writing a column for a publication that had the word “Jewish” in its name. Trained as a reporter, I moved fairly quickly into the realm of opinion journalism, mostly at The New Republic. Owned by Marty Peretz at the time, the magazine often covered Israel, but my deeply personal relationship to Judaism was never a part of my writing or professional identity.

That changed abruptly in June 2014 when the Gaza War broke out. I had been pushed to have a “social media presence” to help promote a book on design. Facebook seemed the least objectionable option, so I had built up a mélange of artist and designer friends. Much to my shock, many of those friends — smart, sophisticated people — took Hamas’ side in the conflict. And then they began to spread lies about Israel.

For the first time in my life I went from being a private Jew to a public Jew.

Even before I began, this caused problems. A friend of nearly 25 years said to me: “If you’re going to defend Israel publicly, I’m not sure we can still be friends.” And so began a rather rude awakening about where Israel stood in elite, leftist circles. When I started to defend Israel, to provide facts, the spouses of two of my closest friends blocked me. Two close friends took me out for dinner for an intervention — they thought something must be horribly wrong in my personal life for me to oppose leftist doctrine so blatantly.

I quickly learned that the banning of free speech didn’t involve just Israel. One wasn’t allowed to criticize President Barack Obama — not a word or you would be called racist. Strange ideas had pervaded the discussion: Truth and reality apparently no longer existed. Identity politics reigned, and if you were at the top of the Victim Olympics — the Arab/Muslim world — criticism was verboten.

Jews, of course, were at the bottom. Why? Because, to the left, we were “white colonialists” who were — worst sin of all — successful. Despite the expulsions, pogroms, the Holocaust. Despite the fact that our grandparents had arrived in this country with nothing, did menial work and never complained (OK, they complained, but not publicly). Despite the fact that we aren’t white.

Muslim reformer Maajid Nawaz also had a problem with what the left had become. He had dared to denounce terrorism, to link it to a radical, politicized version of Islam — and leftists went nuts. Nawaz coined the term “regressive left” to describe the illiberal takeover of the left, the slow chipping away of every liberal value.

I eagerly awaited the 2016 election. I saw it as a moment that would begin to turn around things, to bring the left back to its senses. Unfortunately, the opposite happened. Donald Trump — inexperienced, impetuous, a bull in a china shop — was elected. There was little self-reflection on the left as to its part in his election. And then the Trump right began to mirror the left: hyperpartisan, unable to criticize Trump, demanding adherence to a very specific agenda — or you would be publicly shamed.

How do we get out of this mess? For one, we need to return to real — classical — liberalism. But what does that mean?

The easiest way to describe real liberalism is that there are certain principles — freedom of speech; freedom of religion; a dedication to liberty, justice and individuality — that are nonnegotiable.

But — and here’s a very big but: Liberalism allows for policy differences. You and I don’t have to agree on immigration, tax reform, even abortion — but our arguments must be rooted in liberal principles. Freedom of speech, for instance, involves defending the right of others to express their opinions, even if we disagree with them.

But No. 2: Politics need not color our culture or our lives. You can watch a movie or see an art show and — get this — just enjoy them, even if they have no connection whatsoever to social concerns.

Finally, But No. 3: Along with rights come responsibilities. There is a set of values attached to liberalism, what Martin Luther King Jr. called “the content of your character.”

Because of how skewed the political spectrum is, classical liberalism now sits in the center. That’s OK. It is precisely this ideology that can create common ground between the right and the left and nurture a saner society.

Call it the rebellion of the radical middle.

Karen Lehrman Bloch is a cultural critic and curator. Author of “The Lipstick Proviso: Women, Sex & Power in the Real World” (Doubleday), her writings have appeared in The New York Times, The New Republic, The Wall Street Journal and Metropolis, among others.

 

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Bumping Into Voices

Leave a Comment / David Suissa, Holidays, Opinion /

Because this is my first issue as editor-in-chief, I’d like to give you a mini tour of what you’re about to see. One of the joys of being a journalist is that we’re always bumping into interesting voices, and this Sukkot issue reflects many of the voices and stories I bump into in the course of hanging out in our community.

The voice in this week’s cover story is that of my friend Rabbi Daniel Bouskila, who shares his personal take on the unusual holiday of Sukkot. Daniel and I share a love for coffee and books. We’re both Sephardic Jews attached to our Sephardic customs but also fascinated by the diversity of the Jewish tradition. His story gives you an inkling of this diversity. And right after his Sukkot story, you’ll get a sneak peek at the magical sukkah of local philanthropists Dina and Fred Leeds, who take the mitzvah of welcoming guests quite seriously.

In anticipation of my new role, I’ve been on the lookout for fresh new voices. Last year, I hosted New York author Karen Lehrman Bloch at my house for Shabbat. Karen, whose writing has appeared in The New York Times and The New Republic, has the voice of the classic liberal who understands the value of meeting in the center, or, as she puts it in her debut column, in the “radical middle.”

Over a shakshuka breakfast at Pico Café, I asked my friend Salvador Litvak, the filmmaker who has built a large following as the “Accidental Talmudist,” if he’d want to contribute something “talmudic” for this issue. His piece, “War at the Book Club,” does just that — examining how we can disagree without animosity.

Kay Wilson is a writer, cartoonist and musician who lives in Jerusalem. We were introduced recently by a mutual friend. Several years ago, Kay survived a horrific stabbing attack at the hands of Palestinian terrorists. I asked Kay if she felt comfortable enough to share thoughts that have come out of that horror. Her piece, “As I Lay Dying,” speaks to life’s deepest lessons.

I came across Alicia Jo Rabins on Facebook and was intrigued by her lyrical prose. Alicia is a writer, musician and Torah teacher based in Portland, Ore. Her piece, “The Sukkah as Spiritual Medicine,” is a poetic meditation connecting the sukkah to the human body.

My friend Aomar Boum is a Muslim associate professor at UCLA who’s a regular guest at our Shabbat table. He’s an expert on the Jews of Morocco, where I was born. My mother’s cuisine reminds him of his mother’s cuisine. I asked Aomar if he’d write something explaining his fascination for studying Jews. “I’m an academic writer,” he replied. “Will that work for your readers?” I told him to write from the heart, and he did.

I met the head of Chabad of Puerto Rico, Rabbi Mendel Zarchi, about 15 years ago on my way to a Caribbean cruise with my family. Two weeks ago, as Hurricane Maria tore into the island, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I tried reaching him several times. When I finally did (thank you, WhatsApp), we spoke about the disaster, but also about a little miracle: How Zarchi and his wife found a way to hold Rosh Hashanah services and serve holiday meals after hundreds of gallons of water had flooded their shul. Reporter Kelly Hartog has the story.

Another voice I bumped into on Facebook is that of Israeli-born Yamit Behar Wood, the executive chef at the U.S. Embassy in Kampala, Uganda. Yamit writes about food, but also about the cultures that surround food. Her first story is about her late Aunt Dora, her culinary mentor.

Right after Yom Kippur, we got the sad news of the passing of television personality Monty Hall. Monty was a friend of the Journal and of charitable organizations everywhere, as well as a storyteller extraordinaire. We pay tribute to this local hero in this issue.

On the day we went to press — as we were putting the finishing touches to the paper — we got news of the tragic massacre in Las Vegas. In addition to our last-minute coverage, we have a poem reflecting on the tragedy by Hannah Arin, a millennial writer who will be a regular contributor.

One of the looming political issues today is whether President Donald Trump will decertify the Iran nuclear deal as the Oct. 15 deadline approaches. Larry Greenfield, who served as executive director of the Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs, and Dalia Dassa Kaye, a senior political scientist at the nonpartisan Rand Corp., debate the merits of both sides.

Steven Spielberg opens his own heart in “Spielberg,” the first feature-length documentary of his life, premiering Oct. 7. Our contributing writer Gerri Miller shares a few interesting anecdotes from the film, including the fact that Spielberg’s parents’ divorce influenced “E.T.” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

We also have book reviews about two great Jews this week. The Journal’s book editor,  Jonathan Kirsch, writes that “the late Shimon Peres calls to us from the grave” in his posthumously published memoir, “No Room for Small Dreams: Courage, Imagination, and the Making of Modern Israel.” Monica Osborne weighs in on William Kolbrener’s “The Last Rabbi: Joseph Soloveitchik and Talmudic Tradition,” a complex take on a complex man.

From Israel, our senior political editor, Shmuel Rosner, shares his latest insights on what’s going on in Israel as part of his expanded “Rosner’s Domain” page. We’re also adding a column titled “Humans of Israel,” where American expat writer Debra Kamin will profile Israelis of all stripes. Her first piece is on winemaker-philosopher Yonatan Koren, who runs an organic winery in western Galilee.

Closer to home, contributing writer Rebbecca Spence writes about three Jewish women who are leading the way in the legal cannabis trade, while Roberto Loiderman writes about a new recording of “Tales From the Forgotten Kingdom,” a musical-theatrical show that celebrates Ladino culture.

Reporting on the holiest day of the year, Senior Writer Eitan Arom covers an emotional episode at Temple Israel of Hollywood that resulted from its senior rabbi’s discussion of politics at Kol Nidre.

On a lighter note, we’re adding little “spice boxes” throughout the paper with things such as humor and big questions to ponder for dinner conversation.

As I begin my new journey, one of my aims will be to look for voices that try to open minds rather than change them. I want to provoke thought, not anger; curiosity, not cynicism; fascination, not smugness.

I want to touch every member of our incredibly diverse community. I won’t always succeed. Some voices you will like more than others. Some voices will return, others won’t. It’s a journey we will take together.

What I can tell you is that everything I do will come from the deep love I have for this community — and for all the interesting voices and stories I keep bumping into that I can’t wait to share with you.

Chag sameach.

David Suissa is president of TRIBE Media Corp./Jewish Journal and can be reached at davids@jewishjournal.com.

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Pitfalls of Dating German Men

Leave a Comment / Blogs /
Hayley Alexis at Oktoberfest in Munich

Hayley Alexis has been blogging about Germany ever since she landed in Munich from the US about two years ago. Her YouTube videos about life in Munich have garnered a sizeable following, particularly those about romance in Deutschland.

Like many newcomers, she was enchanted by the type of man who may have justified Hitler’s racist categorization of Germans as the superior race (yes, that was a Holocaust joke). Tall, beautiful, muscular. But unlike Hitler’s Germans, these men are nice, polite, liberal, open-minded and seem to treat women with utmost respect, as equals (although perhaps too equal).

She soon realized that dating German men may be easy on the eyes, but not always on the heart. Through speaking to Hayley and others who have dated German men (not to mention my own experience), I’ve learned that once you scratch the surface of these real-life Ken dolls (oh, come on, let us objectify them for a moment!), the non-German woman may come up against strange behaviors that will leave her scratching her head…and heart.

While these are extreme generalizations (especially since Germans have regional idiosyncrasies), better be prepared before accepting that beer (and not wine, that you will probably pay for anyway).

Be Practical
Yes, the German man can often be like the country’s greatest commodity: machines. This means they run very well, but emotion, sensitivity, and sensuality can sometimes get stuck in the levers.

Hayley, 25, came to Germany after college in Florida for a new experience. Eventually, after “hanging out” with her boyfriend, Mike, for over two years (“hanging out” is often the equivalent of German courtship), they officially became an item.

“We fight constantly because he’s so practisch, ordentlich,” Hayley said over Skype from Munich. “He’s the complete opposite of me. If I put my glasses on the wrong way of the table, he turns it.”

You may notice a small bald spot on the right side of her head. That occurred with one of her German dates. Basically, her hair caught on fire.

“I was staying the night and I said, ‘I hate waking up early in the morning with the lights on.’ So he was trying to be really sweet to me and put candles in the bathroom, and I didn’t want to make any noise, so I bent down and…sizzle….When I told him my hair burnt, he said, ‘It really smells – how are we going to clean this up?’ And I said, ‘What do you mean? I have this bald spot!’”

Yes, getting your hair accidently burnt is not practical.

On the upside, they will always be punctual.

You are NOT fat
You know how when a woman asks her beau if she’s gained weight, he’s supposed to say: “You’re perfect.” Well, don’t expect that from a Deutscher, and that’s not because they’re Deutschbags. It’s just not their style. They could be very direct.

For example, one of Haley’s dates told her he didn’t like a certain color on her.

“’What do you mean it’s not the best color on me? Every color is the best color on me,’” she said. “I think German people are very, very nice, I don’t think anything they do is intended to be hurtful or mean…They don’t have a filter to hold back.”

While they can dish it, they often can’t take it (so apologies if you are a German man reading this), maybe because the modern German cannot be “bad” like their ancestors.

“They hate criticism.” And if you make a Nazi joke, they might take it hard. Or for that matter, any joke. They’re not known for their sense of humor and flirtation skills, so don’t expect banter to flow too easily.

One time, Alexis was in line at the supermarket and a man cut in front of her. “And I said, ‘you did that because I’m black,’ and I was kidding. And he paid for my stuff and said: ‘I’m sorry.’”

Patience is a Virtue
Don’t expect a whirlwind romance. German men tend to be quite calculated and patient upon entering a relationship. After all, it took Hayley and her boyfriend two years to be “defined.”

“It takes forever to say, and he finally said, ‘I think I’m finally ready,” she said.

You might also need to be patient because Germans have tons of vacation days, and courtships might be interrupted with their wanderings in India, Thailand or wherever. They might pop in and out based on vacation periods, or when they have a work deadline, or if they are hanging up curtains.

“I’m going to south Africa for two weeks, I’ll text you then,” Hayley recalls one date telling her.

Sex, bitte?
Maybe it’s because they’re like machines, German men could easily switch off their sex drive. Or maybe it’s because German spas are co-ed nudist spas, so they become immune to the bare breast (then again, what comes first, chicken or egg…).

Click to read Orit’s novel, Underskin, an Israeli-German romance.

“I feel like they can, of course, have sex and they like sex but it’s not a necessity for them,” she said. “My ex [German] boyfriend liked it but didn’t need it.”

Sex, like many of life’s activities, should ideally be scheduled. “Organization doesn’t have good sex. Practical isn’t good sex. Structure isn’t good sex, and to be in a good relationship you have to have sex. They’re just not a sexual type of people.”

You could look like a knockout at a club, and German men may not turn their heads, but it’s not because you’re not beautiful.

“When I go out with American guys I feel amazing. Not a date or anything, but when I hang out with Americans, it’s amazing.”

On the upside, you don’t have to deal with catcalls. On the other, they could make you feel like a nympho.

“I met a guy and we met at six at night and were out until six in the morning together, and we were out partying and dancing, and he said he’ll get a cab home, and I’m like, ‘So we go together?’ And he’s like, “No, so you could go to sleep…” And then I felt bad. Am I that much of a ‘ho?’”

Also, go easy on the touch. With their robotic flair, they could sometimes be shy of affection. Pet gently at first, like a lamb.

“I brought this up with my current boyfriend a long time I go, and I said, ‘I don’t think you like me,’ and he said, ‘I like you a lot.’ And I said, ‘You don’t kiss me in public. You don’t touch me in public.” From then on, he improved.

‘Til Death Do Us Pay Rent
Financial stability and safety are supreme values for Germans, sometimes even above relationships.

“I met so many guys that will ask, ‘Why did you break up with her?” And he’ll say, ‘But I got a new job.’ ‘But did you love her?’ ‘Yes, but I got a new job.’”

These means marriage is a contract they will think carefully about entering into. They won’t be dreaming of that fairy-tale walk down the aisle. They’ll be dreaming of DINK—‘double income no kids.’

Wir lieben dich, egal (We love you, anyway)
To sum it up, as I’ve heard from many women and men who field complaints about German men: they’re weird, awkward, but…

“They’re so damn sexy,” Hayley said. “They really are. They’re so mysterious, and I like that. It’s refreshing to have a guy to make you work, and I guess I like the pain.”

But if you meet them on one of their many vacations, they could also be charming, funny, and even horny. Because sometimes they need to be out of Germany to not be so….German.

And when they’re with you, they’re with you. So you know it’s real.

“At first they’re not interested and they’re not sure they want to be in a relationship, but the minute they change their mind, they’re attached and locked in.”

Case in point: Alexis and Mike’s love keeps growing.

Orit is an American-Israeli journalist and author based in Berlin since 2016. To learn more about dating German men, read Orit’s hot new novel, Underskin, an Israeli-German romance spanning Berlin and Tel Aviv. www.oritarfa.com.

Like Hayley’s Facebook page.

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