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August 18, 2016

Steinem not impressed with Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s new campaign manager

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump earned high praise on Wednesday for appointing Republican political strategist and pollster Kellyanne Conway as his new campaign manager.

Conway, who has specialized in working with women candidates and attracting female voters, will accompany Trump on the campaign trail and help him stay focused before he takes the microphone at his daily rallies. “If Kellyanne Conway really gets on the plane with Trump, goes to events, and keeps him focused, I don’t care what the downside is for Trump’s chances of winning; that improves his chances of winning,” Mark Halperin said on his daily show “With All Due Respect” on Bloomberg TV.

The promotion was also seen as an effort by Trump to bolster his atrocious poll numbers among women. “I’m the first female Republican campaign manager in presidential political history and that tells you a lot about Donald Trump and it also tells you a great deal about him,” Conway said in an interview on Thursday’s “CBS This Morning” program. “I think it’s symptomatic of who Donald Trump has been in his own corporation and elevating and promoting women.”

But feminist trailblazer Gloria Steinem was not very impressed by the appointment.

“It’s like seeing an anti-Semitic candidate being managed by a Jewish person,” Steinem said in an “>created by a racist Twitter user and circulated by white-supremacists.

At the time, Conway “>interview, Steinem, who was born to a Jewish father, said that Trump is “the candidate of discontent, hatred and nostalgia for a past that never actually existed. It is unprecedented that we have had someone with so little experience, so little accuracy, so much bombast, such a bully.”

“He’s the candidate of unnamed resentments and everybody knows his name,” she added.

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“With Might and Strength” by Rav Shlomo Goren

Rabbi Shlomo Goren saw it all. From the shtetls of Poland to the Israeli Defense Force and Six Day War, from leading as a solider to serving as a Chief Rabbi. The multifaceted life of Rav Goren seems more like that of legend than of a flesh and blood figure. But all during his years of service—in the military and the clergy—Rabbi Goren led a nearly-mystical life. For religious Zionists, Goren remains one of the great heroes of the modern State of Israel. He was raised in the Polish village of Zambrow, later lived in Warsaw, immigrated to Israel (Kfar Hasidim) and then ultimately lived in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. Along these journeys, he had witnessed the waves of immigration to Israel, the Holocaust, the establishment of Israel, and many of the seminal wars in Israeli history.

While I’ve seen famous pictures of Rav Goren and heard many of the well-known tales about his life, I never knew the full man. I never had the opportunity to peer into his psyche, to wonder about his innermost aspirations and closest demons. Because of this curiosity, it was with excitement that I read the recently-released With Might and Strength (Maggid Books), Rabbi Goren’s translated autobiography. Avi Rath, the editor of this fine edition, writes that he “had the privilege of interviewing the rabbi for several hours, and the recordings from those conversations provided source material for this book….This book is the story of Rabbi Goren’s life as the described it from his own perspective. The materials on which this book is based are the rabbi’s own words, either written or recorded” (vxii – xviii). He is upfront that “this book does not presume to be scholarly, but rather to disseminate Rabbi Goren’s life story as he felt it, saw it, and experienced it – to present the reality of his life through his eyes” (xviii). He explains the importance of putting out this autobiography:

Many knew Rabbi Goren, the public figure; few knew Shlomo Goren, the private individual, the devoted family man, the man so sensitive and attentive to the cries of the poor and the tears of the aguna, the man who visited the injured and comforted the orphans (xii).

As a young man, he was already noteworthy as a scholar. At the age of 16, he had already written his first book (Nezer HaKodesh) that received numerous approbations including from Rav Kook. He was the youngest student ever accepted to the Hebron Yeshiva and was ordained at the age of 17. Over the course of his life, Rav Goren received many rewards for his books including the Israel Prize in Rabbinic Literature in 1961 and he received the Rabbi Kook Prize many times.

But Rav Goren was no mere distant academician or author. He was a man of action, willing to go into the trenches “risking his life… jumping out of airplanes…actively participating in battles” (xiii). After the conclusion of the Six-Day War, it was Goren, shofar in hand, who led the first prayer service after the unification of the city. Goren’s ideological orientation, while certainly noble in context, can be challenging to view from more modern perspectives. Goren indeed had a more radical Zionist side to him. For example, in the ’90s he said it was halakhically forbidden for soldiers to dismantle any settlements if ordered to do so. Yet, he was also the one to say: “Human life is undoubtedly a supreme value in Judaism, as expressed both in the Halacha and the prophetic ethic. This refers not only to Jews, but to all men created in the image of God.” Furthermore, along with his wife, Rabbi Goren was a strict vegetarian after visiting a kosher slaughterhouse in Canada and that his wife was a lifelong vegetarian, being raised in the home of the Nazir of Jerusalem, her father.

With Might & Strength is a worthy book for those interested in seeing the birth of modern Israel from an insider’s perspective. The many anecdotes and pieces of historical trivia are more than enough to justify this book’s place on your mantle. Along the journey, you’ll hear tales about Rav Kook, Rav Uziel, David Ben-Gurion, and even the Rashbi. What you will walk away—hopefully—is seeing the spiritual and technical birth of the Holy Land in the modern era and the fortitude its early founders had to build a neglected backwater into a thriving economic powerhouse and oasis. A worthy read.

 

Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz is the President & Dean of the Valley Beit Midrash, the Founder & President of Uri L’Tzedek, the Founder and CEO of The Shamayim V’Aretz Institute and the author of ten books on Jewish ethicsNewsweek named Rav Shmuly one of the top 50 rabbis in America & the Forward named him one of “The Most Inspiring Rabbis in America.”

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Naked Trump statues draw dozens of onlookers in U.S. cities

An artists' collective took credit for exposing Donald Trump to unflattering scrutiny on Thursday, saying it was responsible for a life-sized nude statue of the Republican presidential candidate that turned up in a New York City park.

Copies of the orange-tinted likeness – featuring a massive belly, small fingers and missing some genital parts – were simultaneously unveiled in downtown Manhattan's Union Square Park and public places in four other U.S. cities.

The collective titled the work “The Emperor Has No Balls.”

In New York, the unauthorized installation appeared to surprise passers-by – prompting stares, giggles and shrugs of bemusement from park visitors.

Ina Cope, a 58-year-old retiree from the Bronx borough of New York, said she was not expecting to see the Trump statue when she got off the subway to meet a friend for lunch.

“It was crazy: I was coming off the train, minding my own business, and there it was,” she said, laughing.

By early afternoon, workers from New York's Department of Parks and Recreation had taken down the statue.

Mae Ferguson, a Parks Department spokeswoman, said the statue was removed because the installation of any unapproved structure is illegal in any city park.

The activist collective, a group called INDECLINE that includes artists, musicians and filmmakers, claimed ownership of the work, saying in an email that the statues were also placed in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle and Cleveland. It said an artist called Ginger helped create the likeness.

“These fleeting installations represent this fleeting nightmare and in the fall, it is our wish to look back and laugh at Donald Trump's failed and delusional quest to obtain the presidency,” INDECLINE said in a statement.

A Trump spokeswoman did not respond immediately to an email with a request for comment.

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Trump hits Clinton over White House admission that Iran cash linked to prisoner release

Donald Trump’s presidential campaign and the Republican Jewish Coalition found some common ground on Thursday, tying Hillary Clinton to the Obama administration’s payment to Iran and handling of the prisoner release.

On Wednesday, the Wall Street Journal “>disputed the notion that it was a ransom payment for the release of American hostages. “We do not pay ransom. We didn’t here, and we won’t in the future,” Obama said. “Those families know we have a policy that we don’t pay ransom. And the notion that we would somehow start now, in this high-profile way, and announce it to the world, even as we’re looking in the faces of other hostage families whose loved ones are being held hostage, and saying to them we don’t pay ransom, defies logic.”

However, at a Thursday press briefing, State Department Spokesperson John Kirby confirmed that the U.S. had made the release of the $400 million contingent on Iran releasing the hostages. “We deliberately leveraged that moment to finalize these outstanding issues nearly simultaneously,” he said. “With concerns that Iran may renege on the prisoner release, given unnecessary delays regarding persons in Iran who could not be located as well as, to be quite honest, mutual mistrust between Iran and the United States, we of course sought to retain maximum leverage until after American citizens were released. That was our top priority.”

In a statement released hours after the press briefing, the Trump campaign indicated it felt vindicated by the Republican presidential nominee’s initial assertion that Hillary Clinton played a significant role in crafting the administration’s policy on Iran, which led to the Iran nuclear deal and the ‘ransom’ swap. “Today’s admission by the State Department that they paid a $400M ransom to release American hostages from Iran further cements Hillary Clinton’s role in crafting disastrous policies that have led to a more dangerous world,” said Trump’s spokesman Jason Miller.”Already under fire for lying to the American people about her illegal email server, Clinton is continuing to align herself with an Administration that has continually lied to Americans as well. By helping put together a deal that ultimately sent $400M to Iran that was likely used to fund terrorism, Clinton has proven herself unfit to be president of the United States.”

The Republican Jewish Coalition called on Clinton and all Democrats to “immediately condemn this ransom payment and reverse their support for the dangerous nuclear deal with Iran.”

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Why are people so mean on the Internet?

Why are people so mean on the Internet?

A couple of obvious suspects are not causes. Political polarization is sad, but it's not the problem. Every day, we encounter people who disagree with us, but we do it without histrionics or name-calling. We probably even count some of them as friends and family.

Nasty people are also not the cause. They exist, but there aren't enough of them to poison the Internet. And even they restrain themselves most of the time.

But the Internet is a different environment. We do not interact with people face to face. We don't see them. Sometimes, we don't even know their names, nor they ours.

That's important in a couple of ways. First, the people we encounter on the Internet seem less real to us than those we meet face to face.

As a result, we take them less seriously as human beings. We are less inclined to worry about their feelings or about treating them unjustly. And quite realistically, we are less inclined to worry about arguments leading to physical confrontation or retribution.

Second, the Internet feels anonymous even if it really isn't. We are sitting in our homes where nobody can see us. We are less inclined to feel shame if we do something hurtful.

Those two factors combine to bring out the nastiness in many people who are otherwise perfectly normal.

All of us have occasional anger and frustration, but in real life, we might not be able to do anything about them. Our boss might unjustly criticize our work, but we don't want to get fired so we say nothing. A friend might betray us, but we have no recourse. A spouse might infuriate us, but we don't want to prolong the argument. So we bottle up our rage, until … we get on the computer. Then, some of us have a rage-fest.

On the Internet, people often vent their anger at whatever targets are available. Someone who has a different political opinion. A celebrity who did something that made the news. A person who we think made too much money and didn't deserve it. Someone we just don't like for no particular reason.

A psychological principle applies both on and off the Internet: If people's anger is wildly out of proportion to what they say they're angry about, then they're really angry about something else.

If someone on the Internet calls you vile names or makes horrible accusations because you support candidate X or you're a member of religion Y, then it's not about X or Y at all. It's about something in the person's own life that he or she can't deal with, so the anger gets targeted at you instead.

The same thing is true off the Internet. If your spouse is enraged because of something trivial, it's not really about the trivial thing. It's about what happened yesterday, or last week.

Knowing the causes of Internet nastiness doesn't solve the problem. Sometimes, the results are tragic. Children, especially, are vulnerable to Internet bullying – even to the point of suicide. Even adults can suffer depression or job loss because of Internet harassment.

Here's the part where I'm supposed to offer a reassuring solution. Unfortunately, I don't have one. The best I can suggest is this:

• Don't take Internet insults seriously. People who resort to insults, name-calling, and other kinds of online vitriol are either venting anger that has nothing to do with you, or they are deliberately trying to goad you into a screaming match. Ignore them. A long-standing bit of Internet wisdom applies: “Please do not feed the trolls.”

• Remember that even well-meaning comments sometimes don't come across as the writer intended. In real life, we rely on vocal intonations, facial expressions, and body language to provide context that is completely absent on the Internet. If something can be interpreted in an innocuous way or as an insult, then you should interpret it in the innocuous way.

• When you write things to other people on the Internet, remember that even if you don't see them, they are real people. Don't treat them in ways that you wouldn't  treat them if they were standing in front of you. And be careful to avoid saying what might be misinterpreted.

American founder Benjamin Franklin had a helpful motto: “I will speak ill of no one, and say all the good I can of everyone.” It works just as well on the Internet.

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U.S. says payment to Iran used as leverage for prisoners’ release

The State Department said on Thursday it released $400 million in cash to Iran under a tribunal settlement only once it was assured that American prisoners had been freed and had boarded a plane.

“The payment of the $400 million was not done until after the prisoners were released,” State Department spokesman John Kirby told reporters.

“We took advantage of that to make sure we had the maximum leverage possible to get our people out and get them out safely,” Kirby added.

It was the first time the administration has said publicly that it used the payment as leverage to ensure the prisoners were released by Iran.

Three of the five prisoners, including Jason Rezaian, the Washington Posts's Tehran bureau chief; Saeed Abedini, a pastor from Idaho and Amir Hekmati, a former U.S. Marine from Flint, Michigan, as well as some family members, were part of a prisoner exchange that followed the lifting of most international sanctions against Iran following a nuclear deal in 2015.

One more prisoner, Nosratollah Khosravi-Roodsari, chose to remain in Iran, while a fifth prisoner, American student Matthew Trevithick, was released separately.

Both U.S. President Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry have denied that the payment was ransom for the release of the prisoners or tied to the Iran nuclear deal.

The White House announced on Jan. 17 it was releasing $400 million in funds frozen since 1981, plus $1.3 billion in interest owed to Iran, as part of a settlement of a long-standing Iranian claim at the Iran-U.S. Claims Tribunal in The Hague.

The funds were part of a trust fund Iran used before its 1979 Islamic Revolution to buy U.S. military equipment that was tied up for decades in litigation at the tribunal.

The payment was made by the United States in cash due to international sanctions against Iran.

The administration has maintained that negotiations over the funds and the prisoners were conducted on separate tracks and were in no way linked.

Representative Jason Chaffetz, chairman of the House of Representatives Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, has asked Kerry to appear at a future committee hearing to discuss the payment.

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The Emmys: The other election that matters for civil rights

Disability is playing a major role in the United States presidential election. Polls show that the No. 1 issue that reflected badly on Donald Trump was when he mocked a New York Times reporter who has a disability. Meanwhile, people who have disabilities were featured at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia and Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Our political establishment is waking up to the fact that people who have disabilities make up 20 percent of our population and a large bloc of voters. But the presidential election is not the only voting that matters: The Emmy Awards voting also matters. 

For the first time in history, a TV show starring people with disabilities has been nominated for Emmys. The glass ceiling-breaking show is “Born This Way,” A&E Network’s critically acclaimed and award-winning original docuseries. “Born This Way” was nominated for Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program. In addition, two episodes were nominated for outstanding picture editing for an unstructured reality program.

Produced by Bunim/Murray Productions, the series follows a group of seven young adults with Down syndrome along with their family and friends in Southern California. Recently, the series was chosen as one of six honorees for the 2016 Television Academy Honors, an award that salutes television programming that inspires, informs and motivates. But the Emmys really matter — and they are decided by voters.

It seems almost impossible that it has taken until 2016 for such a thing to happen. After all, 1 in 5 Americans has a disability. But according to GLAAD, which tracks minority representation in scripted programs, only 1 percent of characters we see on TV have disabilities. Moreover, the Ruderman Family Foundation recently released a major white paper that found that more than 95 percent of those all-too-few characters with disabilities who are on television are played by actors who don’t have disabilities. This lack of self-representation points to a systemic problem of ableism — discrimination against people who have disabilities — in the television industry. It also points to a pervasive stigma among audience members against people who have disabilities, given that there is no widespread outcry against this practice.

“Born This Way” tears down barriers in many ways. Not only does it star people who have disabilities, those individuals are diverse. One family has a Jewish background; others are of a variety of faiths. Christina is Hispanic; Elena’s mother is from Japan, and they show the immigrant experience. John is African-American.

This is important for several reasons. One is that when disability is depicted in culture, it tends to be all white. Real storytelling requires exploring people with multiple minority status (i.e., person of color plus disability). Second, far too many people of color in the United States who have a developmental disability are not getting the diagnosis, school accommodations and high expectations they need to succeed. There are currently 750,000 people who have disabilities behind bars in the U.S. — and the majority of them are people of color. The individuals who star in the Emmy-nominated show and their families are models of how disability can and should be accepted and addressed in minority communities. 

Thousands of people through the Television Academy get to vote on the Emmys. We urge them to screen “Born This Way” and then vote for it, not for affirmative-action reasons, but because it is a beautifully crafted show with themes that resonate for all of us, regardless of disabilities. 

This is nothing short of a social justice issue where a marginalized group of people is not given the right to self-representation. We must change this inequality through more inclusive shows and casting, through the media holding the industry responsible, through the avoidance of stereotypical stories, and ultimately through the telling of stories that depict people with disabilities without focusing only on the disability. “Born This Way,” in starring people with disabilities, hits all the marks while also being a fun and fabulous show. It deserves Emmy recognition.


Jay Ruderman is the President of the Ruderman Family Foundation. Jennifer Laszlo Mizrahi is president of www.RespectAbilityUSA.org

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The real meaning of Tikkun Olam

There’s nothing like studying the Talmud to learn more about Judaism.  I’m not referring to long hours in a Jerusalem yeshiva with one’s head buried in the text, but rather to the study program called Daf Yomi.  Reading a page a day, one can get through the entire Talmud in seven and a half years.  In the current Daf Yomi cycle, followed throughout the world, I along with my Talmudic haburah are now four years into it, with another three and a half years to go.

As anyone who has cracked open one of the many volumes knows, the Talmud offers extensive discussions on just about every conceivable moral issue imaginable.  It’s undoubtedly archaic in context, but it’s no less relevant in concept today than it was thousands of years ago.  The analyses that the ancient rabbis bring to bear in debating the various issues is beyond impressive.  It’s no wonder yeshiva buchers end up being among the very best law school students.  For novices like myself, it’s a challenge just to keep up.

A few months ago, while studying tractate Gittin, the volume dealing with divorce law, we came across the well-known concept of tikkun olam.  According to everything I had learned growing up as a typical reform Jew, tikkun olam means “repair of the world” — sometimes referred to as “social justice” — often entailing government programs to make the world a better place.  However, delving into the Gemara, the Talmudic commentary, I was in for a little surprise.

According to the translation in the ArtScroll publication, tikkun olam means “benefit of society.”  In the Koren publication, it means “betterment of the world.”  Either way, the meaning is very different from the popularized one often used today.  As Adam Kirsch, head of the graduate program in Jewish studies at Columbia University, observed in his recent Tablet article, “We have interpreted ‘the betterment of the world’ to mean the improvement of society in the name of social justice … I don’t mean to disparage this idea … but there is no doubt that this is not what our ancestors meant when they used the words tikkun olam.”

As discussed throughout Gittin, tikkun olam relates to traditional rules of morality and justice in a limited number of situations, and to certain adjustments in isolated instances when the rules could lead to perverse results.  Like with the popularized version of the term, the goal is to improve the general Jewish society.  However, its use as explained in the Talmud is not intended to expand what’s done to create a better society but rather to adjust how certain rules are applied.  The Gemara cites several situations where tikkun olam applies.  Three examples will help to clarify the idea.

Under traditional divorce rules, a husband (assumed to be living separately from his wife) could employ a scribe to draft a get (the traditional document that effectuates the divorce) and could use an agent to deliver the get to his wife.  If the husband changed his mind, he could declare the get nullified in court.  This may seem reasonable, but the rabbis pondered a potential problem.  What if, after the get is drafted and the agent sent on his way, but before the agent delivers the get to the wife, the husband changes his mind and nullifies the get in court?  What if he then sends a second agent to meet up with the first agent, but the first agent delivers the get to his wife before the second agent arrives?  Would the wife think that she’s divorced, even though the husband nullified the get in court?  Presumably so.  What if the wife, believing she’s divorced, remarries and has a child?  Would the child be illegitimate — a mamzer?  The rabbis were not comfortable with this possibility.

For the benefit of society — mi’pnei tikkun ha-olam — Rabban Gamliel the Elder, head of the Sanhedrin for many years during the Second Temple period, changed the rules.  In Gittin 32A, “The mishna relates that initially, a husband who wished to render the bill of divorce void would convene a court elsewhere and render the bill of divorce void in the presence of the court before it reached his wife.  Rabat Gamliel instituted an ordinance that one should not do this, mi’pnei tikkun ha-olam.”  He concluded that, under these circumstances, a husband could not nullify a get in court.  Rather, the husband would have to deliver the message directly to his wife or directly to the first agent before the get is delivered to the wife.  Otherwise, even if the husband changes his mind, the divorce would be effective once the wife receives the get.  In this way, the normal rules for nullifying a get were adjusted so as to prevent the wife from thinking that she was divorced when she was not, and thereby to avoid the potential birth of mamzerim.  As Kirsch notes, “It is to avoid this kind of uncertainty that the rabbis instituted a reform in the divorce process — the kind of reform they refer to as mi’pnei tikkun olam.”

A second example, also in Gittin, involves kidnappers and ransoms,.  Kidnappings were evidently not uncommon in ancient days.  In the case of a kidnapping, one would think that a family would have the freedom to redeem a captive for whatever price they could negotiate — even a very high price if the family could afford it.  But the rabbis were concerned about two major consequences.  First, they were concerned that a high ransom would incentivize kidnappers to kidnap more people, which would obviously not be good for the community.  Second, they were concerned that a high ransom would also incentivize kidnappers to demand a high ransom for other captives, thereby putting an additional financial burden on the community.  For these reasons, in the Mishna in Gittin 45A, the rabbis decided that “captives are not redeemed for more than their actual monetary value, mi’pnei tikkun ha-olam.”  In this way, the rabbis restrained the freedom of affluent families to negotiate high ransoms.

Here is a third example from Gittin, this one of an economic nature.  Under the ancient rules of the Sabbatical Year, debtors were to be relieved of their obligations in the seventh year — i.e., their debt at the time was to be forgiven.  This certainly sounds like a compassionate approach for those unable to get out from under the burden of debt.  At the same time, the rule had a perverse effect.  As the Sabbatical Year drew near, lenders, concerned that debtors would not repay the debt, would be unwilling to lend.  As author Hillel Halkin notes in his 2008 Commentary article on the subject, “the regulation was having the paradoxical consequence of only making life for the poor harder by preventing them from borrowing at all.”  Initiated by Hillel the Elder, a new rule was put in place.  As it says in the Mishna in Gittin 34B, “Hillel instituted a document (a prosbol) that prevents the Sabbatical Year from abrogating an outstanding debt mi’pnei tikkun ha-olam.”  With the prosbol in place, lenders would continue to lend, even as the time of the Sabbatical Year approached.

As one can see, the idea of tikkun olam was utilized in very specific situations in order to avert particular unintended consequences.  Traditional rules were adjusted so as to prevent certain undesirable outcomes.  This has nothing to do with the popular notion of tikkun olam — “social justice” to “repair” the world.  Rather, tikkun olam as discussed in the Talmud relates to individual actions in selected circumstances — and adjustments in the rules to avoid potentially perverse results for the community.

This raises the inevitable question — how did the idea of tikkun olam take on its current connotation?  The Aleinu prayer, which likely dates back to the Second Temple period, includes a similar term — l’taken olam b’malkhut Shaddai — but this has an altogether different meaning.  Based on the common translation, the prayer expresses the hope that the world will be “perfected” under the Kingdom of the Almighty.  In the 16th century, tikkun olam became part of Lurianic Kabbalah, but this was a very different idea, as well.  As Halkin explains, while the Lurianic tikkun “calls for mending the entire cosmos …  these efforts … are strictly spiritual, involving prayer, religious ritual, and meditation.”

The current connotation can be traced back to the beginning of the post-War period.  Brandeis University professor Jonathan Krasner, in his 2014 article “The Place of Tikkun Olam in American Jewish Life,” identifies three distinct groups that transformed tikkun olam over the past 75 years.  The first were theologians who, in the aftermath of the Holocaust, looked for ways to re-imagine the covenantal relationship between humans and God.  They included Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Palestine, and various Reform and Conservative rabbis, including Rabbi Leo Baeck and Rabbi Harold Schulweis.  Under tikkun olam, as used by these Jewish leaders, “the Jews were not merely partners with God but ‘senior partners in action,’ entirely responsible for the execution of the covenant.”

The second group were educators — including Shlomo Bardin, founder of the Brandeis Camp, and Rabbi Raphael Artz, director of Camp Ramah in New England — many of whom sought to reinvigorate Jewish education, including social action and tzedakah, under the rubric of tikkun olam.  For example, as Krasner notes, in speaking to a group of campers in 1960, “Bardin insisted that it was their ‘task’ as Jews to ‘fix the world.’”  Similarly, Rabbi Artz, in a 1967 address to Jewish educators, proclaimed, “The ultimate goal of man’s partnership with God is Tikkun olam.”

The third group was political.  Beginning in the 1970’s, a number of progressive rabbis and community leaders began appropriating tikkun olam for their publications and programs.  As Krasner notes, at the New Jewish Agenda’s founding conference in 1982, “The platform asserted that ‘many of us base our convictions on the Jewish religious concept of tikun olam (the just ordering of human society and the world) and the prophetic traditions of social justice.’”  In the early ’90’s, says Krasner, “others took up the effort to shape a progressive Jewish politics around tikkun olam.”  Among these was Michael Lerner, who founded Tikkun, a left-wing alternative to Commentary magazine.  “Lerner hoped to energize alienated Jews with a model of Judaism that rejected the crass materialism and hypocrisy of middle class suburban Jewish life in favor of a Jewishly grounded ethic of social justice.”

Today, tikkun olam is part of modern, liberal discourse, even though its popularized connotation has little to do with its traditional meaning.  In discussing the term in his 2014 article “The Assimilation of Tikkun Olam,” Levi Cooper, a faculty member at the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies, notes that “It has become a watchword for any value, even if a particular value — worthwhile as it may be — is not rooted in Jewish tradition.”  This brings us back to the tradition — the Talmud — in which tikkun olam served a very important, but specific, role when applying rules of morality and justice in certain circumstances.

The Talmud, I’ve learned, is more than amazing — parsing in minute detail the many moral and judicial issues that inevitably come up in the normal course of life.  The focus is primarily on what’s right and just for those directly involved.  In several limited instances, the rabbis had a wider perspective to keep an eye on the effects on the community as a whole and to adjust specific rules as needed — mi’pnei tikkun ha-olam.  The idea of “social justice” may, for many, still be worthwhile, but, according to the Talmud, tikkun olam it is not.

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I said yes!

So…your partner proposed and you said… YES! and then reality hits you. HELP! Overwhelming details spinning through your mind furiously and you are wondering how you will actually pull this off followed by images of the dream wedding you have imagined maybe since you were a kid. If you and your partner decided on a long engagement you might not be panicking too much or if you are not surprised by the proposal and have secretly been planning under the radar, you have most likely thought about most of the details by now and are ready to jump into action.

BUT… if this proposal is a surprise or you and your partner decided that this is it, you want to get hitched and want a full blown wedding with all the trimmings asap, and you want to do it yourself, then you have a LOT to think about and even more to do. Still don’t panic because there is a plethora of information on the internet and many online services free for couples to help you plan. You just have to make the time and… delegate! Most of all have FUN with it! Make sure that whoever is going to help you (yes you will need help) understands that this is YOUR day, and while family and close friends should be considered in some aspects of the wedding, this is your and your partner’s day and you want this to be the best experience and most of all FUN from the planning stage to the big day! Cherish every detail, take pictures and create mementos of each step.

Start by writing down your big picture vision for your wedding and then prioritize; The two main decisions you are going to make will be the budget and guest list. Choose at least the season if you are flexible on the date, whether you prefer indoors or out, rustic and casual or ballroom and elegant, favorite colors, theme and so on. Then pick a date or a few if you want to make sure your favorite Rabbi/officiant and/or “must-have” guests are available. Make an

appointment with the officiant and chat with him/her about all the beautiful traditions and type of ceremony you have been dreaming of. Decide who you would like to be in your wedding party and ask them (in a memorable way). Use Pinterest, Instagram and whichever social media sites you prefer for inspiration. Talk to friends who have done their own weddings and if you are attending weddings make notes of the things you want to avoid if any, or some you want to include in yours. Once you have some details together, sign up with a site such as WeddingWire or The Knot which is free and utilize their features such as the timeline/checklist/seating chart to help you get organized.

Then create a realistic budget. Decide which items are on the “must-have” list, the “would-like-to-have” list and the “if-there-is-money-left-over” list. The budget will determine how many guests you can invite and then create a tentative guest list. Of all the issues that can put a damper on the arrangements and cause stress, the budget is in the top five! If you have a tight budget choosing a venue that will provide the most such as tables, chairs, linens and dinnerware included in the price will be helpful. Many venues will want you to use their vendors or bar service which will cost you a LOT more than if you purchased alcohol for instance from Costco or BevMo. Find the venue and vendor that will give you the most value and do the math to compare options. Always ask what is included. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you find an inexpensive venue in the middle of nowhere with no amenities it will be the best value because once you book that venue and you start to talk to a caterer for instance, you will find that you have to have an entire kitchen set up for the food service, bring in all the rentals and porta-potties and maybe even water, as well as MANY additional staff members to set it all up. Before you book the venue, check with the caterer and all the other priority vendors what they will need to do a great job for you without it costing you a fortune. Some venues will ask you to only use their vendors and you may not be able to use your favorite caterer. DO ask for a tasting. Some caterers will not do a free tasting unless they have a contract with you but if you pay for a tasting you can then request they deduct this amount from the final bill if you decide to use them.

Speaking of catering: Many think that buffet style catering is less expensive but if you have a buffet with for instance fish and chicken, your guests will often ask for both and they will come back for a second helping which means you have to pay for more food than if you served it plated as you don’t want to run out. However, if you serve the meal plated you have to hire more staff to ensure the meal is delivered to your guests before it gets cold and not take all night to get the food to the guests. Lately stations have been popular and that is a lot of fun and a very social way to serve dinner but as with a buffet you have to provide more food than a plated meal. Remember to be creative with the menu and customize it to your personalities! The days of rubber chicken and tasteless fish are over. Choose a caterer with flair and imagination and are also affordable.

Ask vendors whether they are familiar with the traditions you are observing: – you want vendors who already know you will need a glass to stomp, an easel under the chuppah for your ketubah and any other traditions you may want to observe. Make sure you know how much time they will need to set up and convey that to the venue. Ensure you are clear about ALL the fees so that you are not surprised when you get the final bill realizing that you have to pay a

service fee you didn’t expect, putting you over the top of your budget. Ask the photographer whether he/she will include an engagement session or a bridal portrait session. Read the contract and the small print thoroughly before you sign. If the vendors you want to retain have NOT worked at your chosen venue before DO meet them at the venue before you sign the contract so that they can familiarize themselves with the area and ensure they are able to provide the service you want within your budget. You don’t for instance a situation where DJ realizes that he has to cover more ground than he initially thought or discover the day of that he/she cannot play music in the cocktail area as you had requested or they need an extension cord and you are in the middle of nowhere. Most venues will have a list of preferred vendors that they work with who are familiar with their requirements so start there.

Don’t forget to find hotel(s) for out of town guests. You can negotiate a room block with them and provide the details to your guests who can make those bookings directly with the hotel. I would find two or three making sure you have budget friendly and upscale lodging on your list and that those guests who are observant can walk to a synagogue if so desired on Shabbes and of course kosher food. Check with the hotel – they usually have long lists of local amenities and recommendations for all occasions.

Take a break! In between all the arrangements make time to have fun with your friends and enjoy the bridal shower and/or the bachelor/ette parties and pat yourself on the back for all the details you have accomplished so far! Make copious notes and/or use the wedding sites or an online site that can help you keep organized but I would write everything down and have a check list. Don’t forget to do a final walk-through of the property with the vendors to make sure you are all on the same page, that they are on the same page with each other and have arranged who sets what up first and give them a timeline of all that will be happening on the day of the wedding and a family member’s contact info in case of an emergency. Make sure they commit to the timeline and your agreed time of arrival and by when they will be done with the set up. All vendors should be done at least an hour or two prior to your guests’ arrival where possible. Have a list of their names and numbers on the timeline as well.

Find someone or a couple of someones who can be in charge of everything on the day of the wedding if possible so that you can focus only on looking wonderful and relaxing. Ask friends or family members to man the registration tables and pack the gifts for you when everyone has arrived and someone who can hand out the final payments and tips for the vendors. Enjoy your rehearsal dinner and make sure you are stress free on your special day!

If you are reading this and you have just been proposed to, let me be the first to wish you MAZAL TOV!

I said yes! Read More »