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Jewish Journal

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December 16, 2015

Kuwait Airways, ordered to stop refusing tickets to Israelis, drops NYC-London flight

Leave a Comment / Worldwide /

Kuwait Airways is eliminating service between New York and London after the US Department of Transportation ordered the carrier to stop refusing to sell tickets to Israelis.

Namrata Kolachalam, a spokeswoman for the Department of Transportation, announced the airline’s decision, USA Today reported Tuesday.

On September 30, the department announced that the airline had acted illegally when it refused to sell a ticket to Eldad Gatt, an Israeli citizen, in 2013. On October 29, the department ordered the airline to “cease and desist from refusing to transport Israeli citizens between the U.S. and any third country where they are allowed to disembark,” USA Today reported, citing a letter from the department’s assistant general counsel for enforcement.

The newspaper reported that Kuwait Airways explained its refusal to sell Gatt a ticket by saying it needed to comply with a Kuwaiti law barring citizens from agreements “with entities or persons residing in Israel, or with Israeli citizenship.”

 

The airline filed a counter suit against the department on November 24, which it has not yet withdrawn. If it prevails, it may resume the New York-London flights.

Kuwait Airways, ordered to stop refusing tickets to Israelis, drops NYC-London flight Read More »

White House Chanukah

Leave a Comment / Opinion /

For years, I watched as friends and colleagues posted photos of the White House Chanukah party. The exclusive gathering brings together prominent rabbis, politicians and Jewish communal leaders, as well as young Jewish innovators with a certain hipness factor. 

Still, no one is 100 percent sure how someone gets invited. Those who go are awed, those who watch it all on social media are jealous — and wonder what they could do in order to score an invitation to next year’s party. 

For years, I was among the jealous and wondering, but I understood not being invited. Until this year, I was just a freelancer, proud of my work, but not an innovator. At best, I was innovation-adjacent. Two years ago, when an invited friend wrote my Twitter handle on a napkin and held it up for a photo under the presidential seal, I was certain that was as close as I was going to get. 

Then, this year, I was invited. I reposted the napkin photo on Facebook, noting that it took two years from name-written-on-napkin to actual White House invitation. If anyone wanted me to write their names on a napkin, I joked, they should let me know. Expecting a few comments of “Haha!” and “Have fun!” I saw the post rise to more than 580 likes and 100 enthusiastic, if slightly jealous, comments. 

While a remarkable number of people thought this was truly how people were nominated for future attendance at #WHHanukkah — the official tag — I also realized I could give them the same feeling I had when my Twitter name represented me in 2013. I could bring them all with me virtually, give them the next best thing to being there.

I tracked the names of respondents and asked them a few other questions out of curiosity. What were their top concerns or issues, I wondered, providing a “check as many as you want” option (immigration, gun control, the war on terror, women’s rights, religious freedom, Internet privacy, health care, racism, LGBT issues and education) and a write-in option. And I also asked if they had any general questions for me about the experience.

When I received more than 50 responses, it became a bit of a social experiment. Who was responding and what were they concerned about? Their answers were fascinating and funny, ranging from the curious to the comedic. 

Not surprisingly, many wanted to know about the food: whether the latkes were “more like spider shreds or more mushed-up into a solid lump,” and, of course, whether there was applesauce or sour cream. (FYI, the latkes were small circles, neither shredded nor lumpy, and were accompanied by applesauce.) 

Most also checked off gun control, health care, education and immigration as their top issues of concern. One person wrote in “environment,” while a few added Israel-related issues such as “Israel security,” “U.S./Israel relations” and “political support for Israel.” Write-ins of “Scary Trump,” “getting a Democrat elected” and “Bartlet for America” (referring to “The West Wing” president played by Martin Sheen), alluded to the 2016 election. And one wrote, “Mostly I just want the government to stay out of my uterus.” 

I understood that this was an opportunity for me to attend not just as myself, but as a representative of a huge online community. I brought the list with me, and took a photo with it under the portrait of Abraham Lincoln, immediately sharing it on Facebook. (That post got more than 300 comments and a few Jewish geography inquiries trying to identify the other guests in the background). I’d promised to write everyone’s name on napkins and take photos — just like the one with my Twitter handle — but didn’t want to spend 20 minutes of the experience scribbling while the event went on around me. So I pocketed a bunch of White House cocktail napkins and promised I’d do it later, pretty sure at this point that they had no real role in nominating future attendees. 

Being there was incredible. And it was an honor. But it was also an enormous event: Who I was and why I’d been invited wasn’t relevant because no one really cared. POTUS and FLOTUS nicely spent a good bit of time shaking hands and schmoozing with those of us in the front two lines, but the fact is, my presence there meant more to me than to them. 

The day after, the photos and their comments were proof that it wasn’t just me in that room. I’d brought my community with me. 

Flying back from DC, I found myself thinking of the e.e. cummings poem: “i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart).” I often feel this way about my larger Internet community, people around the world — mostly Jews, but also Christians, Muslims and people of other faiths or no faiths — who have shared parts of my path with me, wherever it leads.

In my heart, I always carry my community as a whole entity and as the individuals that it comprises. And in this particular, probably once-in-a-lifetime case, I also carried my community in my bag, scrawled on napkins from the White House.

Esther D. Kustanowitz is a contributing writer at the Jewish Journal. She is also editorial director of groknation.com, and freelances widely as a writer and consultant. 

White House Chanukah Read More »

Even Arthur Miller—Despite His Noir View of Human Nature—Might Have Been Surprised by 2016

Leave a Comment / Blogs /

The tragedy of Arthur Miller’s everyman hero, Willy Loman, is that: “He’s liked, but he's not well liked.”

I believe that likeability—Richard Nixon excepted—is a primary key to winning presidential elections.

Barack Obama was well-liked, which goes far toward explaining why he won in 2008. Whether his likability was a good reason to have voted for him for president, I will leave it to future historians to judge.

The paradox of the 2016 presidential race may be that we are headed for a matchup between two candidates—Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz—neither of whom is “well liked.”

Somewhat exaggerating Cruz’s abrasive personality, I myself have written that Cruz is “impossible to like.” Not impossible—but pretty hard. At least this is my opinion after viewing this year’s GOP presidential debates including the latest.

If Cruz had Marco Rubio’s winning personality, he might be a shoo-in for the nomination and possibly also a favorite to win the presidency. He isn’t, at least regarding the general election.

Regarding Hillary Clinton, I actually like her personally, because I think I understand her, but I doubt this puts me in a majority.

Who will be the winner, who Arthur Miller’s tragic loser, in a 2016 election—probably a first—in which neither candidate may be really “well liked”?

Maybe we will be better off in the long run with a winner who is just “likeable enough”—which is what Barack Obama said about Hillary Clinton during the 2008 Democratic primary debates.

On the other hand,  as John Maynard Keynes observed, “in the long run, we are all dead.”

Even Arthur Miller—Despite His Noir View of Human Nature—Might Have Been Surprised by 2016 Read More »

Four comments on the presidential candidates and the president

Leave a Comment / Israel, Rosner's Domain, Rosners Domain-mobile, United States /

1.

Israel was mentioned four times in the GOP debate last night. That is very little compared to GOP debates in previous of elections. Maybe a reflection of a consensus within the party (so there's nothing to debate), maybe a reflection of the confusing times (talking about Israel becomes trickier).

Take, for example, Ted Cruz' wise utilization of Israel, by way of supporting his position against an American intervention in Syria.

I'll tell you whose view on Assad is the same as mine. It's Prime Minister Netanyahu. Prime Minister Netanyahu has said Israel doesn't have a dog in that fight because Assad is a puppet of Iran, a Shia radical Islamic terrorist, but at the same time, Prime Minister Netanyahu doesn't want to see Syria governed by ISIS. And we need to focus on American interests, not on global aspirations…

Of course, this is a little misleading. Netanyahu doesn't want Israel to intervene but is also quite unhappy about America's inability and lack of desire to be more dominant in Syria and have more impact on developments in that country. Cruz takes Netanyahu stance on Israeli involvement and uses it to justify his view regarding American involvement. Alas, Israel and the US aren't the same. Israel is a small country. America is a superpower. But Netanyahu can't say this, lest he'll be perceived as a foreign leader pushing America to war. Israel cannot refute Cruz' nuanced manipulation of Netanyahu's views to promote Cruz' views.

2.

Trump used Israel in the debate, and not for the first time, for a similar purpose. Knowing that Israel is quite popular in the US, and especially so among Republican voters, Israel for him is a tool with which to convince the voters that his policy proposals are valid.

For Trump, Israel is the proof that borders and fences work:

I want a strong border. I do want a wall. Walls do work, you just have to speak to the folks in Israel. Walls work if they're properly constructed. I know how to build, believe me, I know how to build.

In this case, there is no misuse of Israel. Trump might be unhappy with the way he was treated by Israelis, following his announcement that a visit is coming (the visit was canceled). But the way he utilizes the Israeli experience as he advocates for building a more efficient fence on America's borders would not provoke any outcry from Israeli leaders. Even the Israeli left believe in fences.

3.

Marco Rubio is the most impressive GOP candidate when the debate focuses on foreign policy. He seems to be the most knowledgeable, and many of the things he says are music to the ears of Israel's leaders.

Then again, America and Israel are not the same, and their priorities are not the same. For Rubio, these are the current priorities:

We need a president who stands up, number one, and says, we will defeat ISIS. And number two, says the greatest national security threat facing America is a nuclear Iran.

For Israel it is: number one Iran, number two Iran, and number three, maybe, ISIS.

4.

Yesterday I wrote that President Rivlin made a mistake when he attended the Haaretz conference. I explained that by doing this the President put at risk his most valuable asset: his ability to be effective with all Israelis – right and left, Jewish and Arab, religious and secular.

The last couple of days could be the days in which he annoyed too many Israelis too much. These could be the days in which he lost his ability to explain because his explanations no longer carry much weight with certain Israelis. These could be the days in which some Israeli circles will arrive at the conclusion that the President flipped because he cares more for the cheers from abroad than for the barraging at home.

A poll by Panels Politics from this morning confirmed my concern. Israelis were asked: Does the President represent you? 48% said yes, 47% said no. That is to say: President Rivlin is now a President acceptable to Israel's center-left and not as acceptable to Israel's right. It is a pity. Israel has many leaders acceptable to a certain segment of the population and not to other segments. We do not need another such politician – we need the good old Rivlin that had the ability to be acceptable to all Israelis.

Four comments on the presidential candidates and the president Read More »

Calendar December 18-31, 2015

Leave a Comment / What's Happening /

SAT | DEC 19

JEFF GOLDBLUM AND THE MILDRED SNITZER ORCHESTRA

Jeff Goldblum is known for his accomplished acting career, but this weekend he is bringing his jazz band, The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, to The Wallis. The multi-talented Goldblum, who has been playing piano since childhood, will be joined by John Storie on guitar, James King on tenor saxophone, Tim Emmons on bass and Kenny Elliot on drums. 7 p.m. $50-$75. The Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 9390 N. Santa Monica Blvd., Beverly Hills. (310) 246-3800. ” target=”_blank”>thebroadstage.com.

THUR | DEC 24

“FIDDLER ON THE ROOF” SING-ALONG

You know the words, so sing along! Spend Christmas Eve crooning “Tradition,” “If I Were a Rich Man” and other classics. Join Cantors Herschel Fox and Phil Baron of Valley Beth Shalom at one of several screenings of the musical at Laemmle Theatres. (Others will feature the likes of educator Ron Wolfson and musician Craig Taubman.) This event benefits the Jewish Historical Society of Southern California and Breed Street Shul Project. 7:30 p.m. $18, $15 (students and seniors). Laemmle Town Center 5, 17200 Ventura Blvd., Encino. (323) 881-4850. ” target=”_blank”>holidaycelebration.org.

BULLETPROOF STOCKINGS

This all-female Chasidic Jewish band rocks! Frontwoman Perl Wolfe and her group of bold alternative rockers from the Brooklyn area seek to empower women. Formed in 2011, their unique Jewish music helps spread awareness of kol isha, which is the prohibition of men hearing women sing. Bulletproof Stockings does this by selling out performances for all-female audiences. Their debut album, “Homeland Call Stomp,” comes out this month. 8 p.m. $15. The Mint, Los Angeles. ” target=”_blank”>letmypeoplego.com.

MEN’S CLUB COMEDY NIGHT

Sit back, relax, and enjoy a laugh during this Erev Christmas comedy show featuring Mark Schiff, Geoff Keith and Richy Leis. Schiff just toured Israel with Jerry Seinfeld, Keith has been featured on Comedy Central and “The Late Late Show” and Leis has been on MTV, Lifetime and A&E. There will be complimentary snacks and soft drinks. 8 p.m. $36. 21 and older. Shomrei Torah Synagogue, 7353 Valley Circle Blvd., West Hills. (818) 854-7650. ” target=”_blank”>matzoball.org.

THUR | DEC 31

NEW YEAR’S EVE MUSICAL REVUE

Dinner, champagne, sparkling nonalcoholic cider, tiaras, noisemakers … everything you need to ring in the New Year! Perfect for the whole family, there will be a scrumptious buffet to start off the evening, and then it’s on with the show! The internationally acclaimed Actors’ Repertory Theatre promises to put on an entertaining and family-friendly musical revue, with prizes, sing-along songs, dancing in the aisles, humor and other delights. From ’40s jazz to country and rock, Jewish songs to romantic ballads, this show has it all. Shows at 6 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. First show: $49.50 (general), $29.50 (ages 12 and younger). Second show (includes midnight meet-and-greet with the cast): $59.50 (general), $39.50 (ages 12 and younger). Santa Monica Playhouse, 1211 Fourth St., Santa Monica. (310) 394-9779. Calendar December 18-31, 2015 Read More »

The ‘Mommy Penalty’: Special needs version

Leave a Comment / Blogs /

My husband and I recently engaged in some long-term financial planning, and as I looked back at my own 30-year career in the nonprofit and Jewish communal sector while raising two children — one with disabilities — I realized how much my own wages have been impacted by the time and care I’ve devoted to family over my career.

When our son was diagnosed at 13 months with developmental delays, it quickly became clear that one of us would need to be available for all of his medical and therapy appointments, meeting case managers, and obtaining and keeping government benefits. Although I never stopped working entirely and always wanted to put my two master’s degrees to good use, I switched from full-time to part-time employment in 1995. At the time of our son’s diagnosis, I was already earning less than my husband, an engineer, so my initial change to working part-time was the clear and logical choice, but, as a result, my income has never held its own in our family. 

My situation also compounds a larger issue that plagues working mothers to this day. Back in 2001, two female sociologists, Michelle Budig and Paula England, first used the term “Wage Penalty for Motherhood” to describe why working mothers were earning less than other women. Initially, they had four assumptions: 1) Taking maternity leaves or longer periods of time off after having a child resulted in a loss of job experience and seniority. 2) Working mothers typically were the parent dealing most with childcare issues, making them less productive at work. 3) Working moms tended to trade off higher-paying jobs for more family-friendly employers. 4) There was some level of discrimination against them by employers.

Using data from the 1982-1993 National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, the two researchers compared the salaries of mothers who worked to childless women. They found an average “wage penalty for motherhood” of 7 percent per child among young American women. And, yes, this meant that a working mother with two children typically earned 14 percent less in wages compared to working women with no children. This continues to be a worldwide problem, with similar gaps found in many developed countries, including Japan, South Korea, the United Kingdom, Poland and Australia. 

What is the basis for this gap, which continues to this day? The researchers attributed one-third of the “mommy penalty” to reduced work experience, less time to get a college/graduate degree/professional development, dropping from full-time to part-time work and maternity employment breaks. But the primary reason for decreased wages is more complicated, and is likely a combination of reduced productivity at work (yes, I can attest that calling a zillion government agencies to be sure my son gets the services he is eligible for does take time!) and also some employer discrimination. 

Often without acknowledging any bias, many employers tend to view working mothers as less valuable than other workers. For example, a 2013 study in which participants were given two sets of resumes, with one set including activities that would point to being a parent, the resumes that suggested the woman was a mother generally got a lower competency and commitment rating, as well as a lower recommended salary, than the one for a woman who was not a mother. The resumes that implied a man who was a father, on the other hand, commanded a higher salary than the childless man. 

This extra money earned by male-parent workers has been termed the “daddy bonus.” A 2012 Bureau of Labor Statistics study found that “women with children under 18 earn less than women without minor children, while men with kids under 18 earn more than men without younger kids. “

Anne-Marie Slaughter’s widely discussed 2012 Atlantic magazine article about this topic, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” provided ample fodder for the cable TV pundits, and due to its huge media buzz, prompted a wider conversation about gender imbalance when it comes to life/work balance. Slaughter’s new book, “Unfinished Business: Women, Men, Work, Family,” published in September, attempts to redefine what it means to be “successful” in America today. She argues that caring for our loved ones should be more widely valued, and our workplaces, marriages and federal policies need to reflect that.

It is past time for outdated workplace practices, reinforced by public policy, to change. About one in four American households with children now have one or more children with some form of special needs at some point. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that today, one in 68 children is believed to have an autism spectrum disorder, compared to 1 in 150 in 2000. The number of kids diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes (formerly known as juvenile diabetes) has also increased, from 24 per 100,000 to 27 per 100,000 between 2002 and 2009. Other special needs can include specific health diseases such as pediatric cancer; a variety of learning disabilities as well as physical, mental or intellectual disabilities; or even some combination of the above. Because most working mothers still earn less than working fathers, it is almost always the mother who assumes the role of primary caregiver, while dads of special needs kids tend to double down at work, trying to earn even more money to cover added costs of care for the child as well as the financial loss incurred by the mother dropping down to part-time work or stopping work altogether.

There’s much that can be changed to help the millions of American families impacted by the “mommy penalty.” For starters, employers might offer more flexibility in the hours needed to be in the office, especially for those white-collar jobs that can easily be done remotely from home, or even on the go, using smartphones or tablets. Government subsidies can help working families access affordable, quality child care, located at or near their workplace, with staff who have been trained in handling some of these health issues. In return for a supportive work environment, mothers can and likely will go the extra mile to get their work done, even if it means taking conference calls in a corner of the physical therapy gym while being slowly sucked down to the bottom of a colorful ball pit (been there, done that). 

Most of all, there needs to be a change in attitude among employers. They need to value working mothers as employees who bring to the workplace the same positive characteristics that make them good mothers, including creativity, resilience and a sense of humor. After all, if mothers can earn more, get promotions, and are granted the time and flexibility to meet their children’s needs, the whole family, and by extension, our larger society, will reap many benefits.

Michelle K. Wolf writes the Jews and Special Needs blog for the Jewish Journal. Find it at jewishjournal.com. 

The ‘Mommy Penalty’: Special needs version Read More »

Letters to the editor: Transforming traditional translation, continued

Leave a Comment / Letters to the Editor, Opinion /

Transforming Traditional Translation, Continued

We rarely agree with Dennis Prager and certainly found his column unnecessary and hurtful (“The Torah and the Transgendered,” Dec. 2). That said, we also disagree with those who feel that the Jewish Journal should not have printed Prager’s article. The reader who likes to “pick up a free copy of the Jewish Journal each week to keep informed of diverse activities and thinking in Jewish Los Angeles,” but decided not to contribute to the Journal’s support because the reader found the article “ugly and mean-spirited,” overlooked the fact that the Jewish Journal’s strength is that it regularly provides a forum for opinions and thinking that are diverse.

We hope the Journal’s even-handed decision to print several pages of letters reacting to Prager’s column, in addition to Prager’s usual self-serving response, was not lost on its readers. 

We, too, read David Suissa’s column (“What’s a Dollar a Month Worth?”) inviting readers to contribute to the Journal, and rather than politely declining, we decided to send a contribution in addition to the subscriptions we presently purchase.

Stu and Micki Bernstein, Santa Monica

The deluge of letters vilifying Dennis Prager for his column is yet another manifestation of too many Jews’ inability to amicably, or merely intellectually, discuss important issues without dismissiveness and ridicule.

In nearly two pages of letters in the Jewish Journal and myriad comments on its website, members of our Jewish community, including members of our educated elite, accused Prager of being mean-spirited, bigoted, ignorant and of publicly humiliating a transgendered rabbi. 

Some went so far as to say he should no longer be published in this paper. 

Let’s be clear. Those who wrote the letters want to quell any attempt at open, rational dialogue with anyone right of center. Sadly, we live in an age of muddled thought and political correctness, an age of “micro-aggressions” and Orwellian doublethink. 

It used to be that arguments and debate defined our tradition. To be sure, within the Talmud, there was plenty of name-calling: Am Ha’aretz (ignoramus), Sageh Na-Hor (dimwit) and re’kah (empty headed). But there was an acknowledgement that the discussions were for clarifying what God wanted from us. Opposing sides could sit down, share a meal and talk; they could agree to disagree. The academies of Hillel and Shamai exemplified this. 

Too many Jews now cast aspersions on a man who raises questions that most of us won’t because we can no longer think beyond what’s popular — or because we are too afraid.

Rabbi Michael Gotlieb, Kehillat Ma’arav

I have always found Dennis Prager’s thinking on gender intriguing. I welcome his views and am disturbed by calls to censor or remove his column from the Jewish Journal. However, when he writes about gender issues, while his thinking over the years has clearly evolved, I suggest it might need to evolve a bit more. 

Before the term “transgendered” even existed, I knew I suffered from a form of gender dysphoria, now identified as bi-gender. Trying to survive as a bi-gendered person growing up in the ’50s and ’60s caused me to focus closely on the language in the Torah.

Torah’s language regarding gender identity and the prohibition of cross-dressing is far more complex than Prager’s facile, peshat reading. For example, he notes that, in Bereshit/Genesis, “when the human being is created, the Torah emphasizes: ‘Male and female He created them.’ ” But scholars of Talmud and Jewish commentators for millenia have recognized the ambiguities in this language. I’m surprised someone as sophisticated as Prager refuses to acknowledge them.

Aside from interpretations of Bereshit, rabbis recognized a variety of gender identities. In addition to zakhar (male) and nekeivah (female), these categories include androginos, a person with both male and female sexual characteristics; tumtum, a person whose sexual characteristics are indeterminate; aylonit, a person who is identified as female at birth but develops male characteristics at puberty and is infertile; saris, a person who is identified as male at birth but develops female characteristics at puberty and/or is lacking a penis, either naturally or through human intervention. Hard to believe our rabbis were so savvy regarding matters we consider contemporary, but there are literally hundreds of references to each of these categories in the Mishnah and Gemara, and even more in classical midrash. Individuals with these conditions were included within the Jewish community and the community accommodated their differences.

Surely, one’s psychological and spiritual identities are equally God-given. Could it be that God intended them to predominate over mere biology? Perhaps the prohibition on cross-dressing is actually a prohibition on masquerading as someone other than your true spiritual self? I don’t know the answer, but I somehow doubt Dennis does, either.

I hope you continue writing columns in the Jewish Journal for many years to come, Dennis, and continue to challenge your readers. But please don’t get defensive when folks disagree with you.

Nikki Chayim, Los Angeles

Letters to the editor: Transforming traditional translation, continued Read More »

Torah portion: A lesson in Joseph’s pain

Leave a Comment / Judaism, Torah /

In Parashat Vayigash, we witness the intense climax of the Joseph story, a story that begins in familial jealousy and estrangement and ends in empathy and reunion.

One message emerging from this tale is that when we hold our own pain and experience deeply, our own grief of loss and betrayal, we create the possibility for true empathy. Empathy is what drives characters in this narrative to acts that defy the expected order and ultimately result in life-saving, redemptive new possibilities.

Joseph, as we know, had been entirely rejected by his brothers. So strong was the brothers’ antipathy for Joseph that they saw even murder as an option. We are a people whose sacred text tells the hard truth about family life: It is the place where we are loved more strongly — but also hurt more deeply — than anywhere else.

By this parsha, Joseph has become a sort of prince in Egypt. Second in power only to Pharaoh, he has complete power of life and death over his brothers who appear before him. Revenge, justice, retribution — all of these must tempt Joseph as he engages the starving brothers who have come seeking food.

This part of the story occurs a few chapters after we are told the story of Judah and his daughter-in-law Tamar. Judah loses two sons and withholds his third son from Tamar out of fear that their deaths may have been connected with marriage to Tamar. The Judah who stands before Joseph as vizier of Egypt has experienced the death of his own sons as well as the terror accompanying the thought of something happening to his surviving one.

That is why it is Judah who makes an impassioned plea here for the release of Benjamin — whom Joseph had framed for theft. Judah explains, in moving detail, what it would do to their father should the boy not return with them to Canaan. He communicates effectively to Joseph his deep empathy for his father’s loss of Joseph and his horror at the thought of losing Rachel’s second and only other surviving son.

From behind the trappings of his station, Joseph is safe to observe, manipulate and test his brothers. It would be completely understandable for him to use this opportunity to exercise his power and mete out the justice his brothers arguably deserve. Instead, Judah’s depth of identification with his father’s pain moves Joseph so deeply that he bursts into tears. It is Judah’s empathy that causes a change in Joseph and results in his own choice to empathize and to risk self–disclosure.

This change in Joseph is an extraordinary moment of courage. It is so tempting to remain in our wounded self-righteousness and to identify with our pain. It is human nature to want to hurt or punish those who have hurt or betrayed us. Who among us would blame Joseph for revealing himself as the brother they savagely rejected and sending them away hungry and hopeless?

In choosing to allow himself to respond to Judah’s empathy for his father (and regret of having caused that pain), Joseph saves his family from starvation and begins to understand the events of his life as having been for this purpose all along. He tells his brothers that everything that has happened to him, including being sold into slavery by them, ultimately put him in a position to help them, their father and all of Egypt survive the famine. Joseph now articulates an understanding of his life as part of a mystery that he could only begin to understand in retrospect.

This story about how we can revisit the painful events or circumstances of our lives in order to understand the meaning of our own lives speaks to me in many ways. One is that I was given away by my birth parents and adopted by a Jewish family as an infant. I have always lived in a profound sense of existential free-fall and longed for some connection to my actual origins. In the absence of that, I have taken being a descendant of Abraham and Sarah very seriously. These were ancestors I could share with my people, removed enough in time that I could read myself as being as close to them as anyone else in my Jewish community. This cosmic sense of dislocation and loneliness — and my drive to belong and connect through Jewish identity — ultimately became my path to the rabbinate.

I recently found — and made the terrifying choice to make contact with — my birth family. In meeting my family of origin and in looking at family photographs and exploring generations of stories and photos online, I have begun exploring the identity of the baby who was given away. In risking contact with this family and with whom I might have become, I, like Joseph, understand in a place beyond words or reason that had my own childhood been “normal” and had my story unfolded in the usual way, I would not now be a rabbi able to live this life of service and abiding meaning.

We come into this world as part of particular families, each with their idiosyncrasies, their unique experiences of loving care and their very real transgressions and tragedies. Torah tells us, by way of Joseph’s story, that it is the work of the soul to make meaning of our lives by acknowledging our pain and allowing it to soften our hearts that we might empathize with the suffering of others and to choose to find purpose and meaning in our own stories. Like Joseph, this is how we find our unique path to serving the mysterious and marvelous unfolding of the One. 

Rabbi Amy Bernstein is senior rabbi at Kehillat Israel Reconstructionist Congregation of Pacific Palisades.

Torah portion: A lesson in Joseph’s pain Read More »

Beth Hersh Goldsmith, human rights advocate, community activist, 58

Leave a Comment / Obituaries /

Beth Goldsmith never tired of telling the story.

As a young Jewish-community professional, she led a 1984 mission of California state legislators visiting refuseniks in Moscow and Leningrad. It was bitter cold, the food was awful and her going-away present was a 45-minute interrogation by KGB agents.

That’s not to say her work running the Jewish Community Relations Council’s Commission on Soviet Jewry lacked a glamorous side. In her late 20s, Goldsmith traveled to Israel to talk strategy with Prime Minister Shimon Peres, among others, and met with U.S. Secretary of State George Shultz to push for human rights.

After the Soviets in 1986 released Natan Sharansky, the most prominent refusenik, Goldsmith organized a rally that drew thousands to Wilshire Boulevard.

These early dramas typified a three-decade career as a passionate advocate for causes ranging from exposing dangerous cults to supporting spinal cord research. Goldsmith died Nov. 29 at age 58 after a battle with appendiceal cancer.

Beth Hersh Goldsmith was born in Charlotte, N.C., and raised in the Chicago suburb of Lincolnwood, Ill., before her family relocated to San Diego and then to Beverly Hills. She graduated from Beverly Hills High School and went on to UC Berkeley, spending her junior year at Hebrew University in Jerusalem.

After a stint as legislative aide to U.S. Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan (D-N.Y.), she worked as personal assistant to Rabbi David Saperstein, director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, the movement’s lobbying arm. With a small team of other 20-somethings, she battled the Rev. Jerry Falwell’s Moral Majority in support of reproductive choice and against prayer in schools.

She took over the Soviet Jewry Commission in 1983, bringing heightened attention to the plight of refuseniks during the 1984 Summer Olympics, and was instrumental in lobbying the Reagan administration to pressure the Soviets for human rights for their Jewish citizens.

She later advocated for health care issues, serving as founding executive director of the Arthritis Foundation’s San Fernando Valley office, then as executive director of Concern Foundation, a Beverly Hills-based charity that funds cancer research. In 2003, she became founding executive director of the Craig H. Neilsen Foundation, the largest private foundation aimed at helping those with spinal cord injuries.

She leaves behind her husband of 30 years, Gordy Goldsmith, son Noah, 27, and daughter Aliza, 25. She also leaves a brother, Andrew Hersh. 

Because all of her grandparents had died before she was born, Goldsmith had long felt deprived of stories from earlier generations. Determined to give her children and future generations what she had lacked, she devoted much of the last year of her life to writing her memoir, “One Degree of Separation: A Fully Connected Life.” It’s a fitting title for a woman who forged friendships with nearly everyone whose life she touched.

Goldsmith was also an enthusiastic giver of tzedakah, and the family suggests donations in her memory be made to the Concern Foundation, City of Hope, KPCC or the cause of your choice. 

Beth Hersh Goldsmith, human rights advocate, community activist, 58 Read More »

Obituaries: Week of December 18, 2015

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Gregg Abraham died Nov. 2 at 62. Survived by mother Francine; sister Glennis (Jim) Malcolm; brother Judd Abrams. Mount Sinai

Carole Ann Abrams died Nov. 20 at 77. Survived by husband Leon S. “Lee” Abrams; sons Scott (Marianna) Glovsky, Steven (Carmen) Glovsky; daughter Staci (Michael Vargas) Glovsky; stepdaughters Stacey, Karen (Stacey), Wendy (Steve) Crump; stepson Gary; 8 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Sam S. Altchuler died Nov. 20 at 95. Survived by daughter Joy (Charles) Kravetz; 4 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

William Atterman died Nov. 17 at 94. Survived by daughter Denise (Larry) Coleman; son Larry (Cathy); 2 grandchildren; sister Rita Feder. Hillside

Gloria Behar died Nov. 7 at 89.  Survived by husband Isaac; daughter Susan; son Ralph; 2 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Marie Benmayor died Nov. 2 at 71. Survived by son Albert William Rosenberg; daughter Elaine R. Hananel. Hillside

Shirley Rebecca Berger died Nov. 11 at 88. Survived by son Howard (Suzi); daughter Lois; 1 grandson; 1 great-granddaughter. Groman Eden

Michael Bergida died Nov. 9 at 87. Survived by sons Marc (Raneem), Barry; sister Frieda Wohl. Groman Eden

Anne Leila Britvan died Nov. 4 at 93. Survived by daughter Jacqueline (David) Lowenberg; son Jerrold (Jana); 13 grandchildren; 9 great-grandchildren. Hillside

Norman Chudacoff died Nov. 22 at 81.  Survived by wife Nadine; daughter Alyson (Bob) Kopp; son Brett; 1 grandchild; brother Bert. Mount Sinai

Miriam Cohen died Nov. 12 at 95. Survived by daughter Janet (Roger) Wagner; 2 grandchildren. Hillside

Rita Coplan died Nov. 17 at 95. Survived by daughters Susan (Richard) Hoffman, Rissa (Reed Holderman); 3 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Gerald Demain died Nov. 6 at 93. Survived by wife Lorrie; daughters Sheryl (Richard) Nussbaum, Dee Dee (Karl) Sussman, Marci Schwartz; 5 grandchildren; 5 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Ilse Diament died Nov. 15 at 87. Survived by daughters Elana (Gary) Cooperman, Amalia; son Steve; 7 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Bernice Earle died Nov. 4 at 101. Survived by daughter Judy (Dennis) Lind; 2 grandchildren; 3 great-grandchildren. Hillside

Sara Epstein died Nov. 6 at 87. Survived by daughter Doritte (Alfred) Cohen; son Ben Ami; 3 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild. Mount Sinai

Estelle Feinblatt died Nov. 14 at 89. Survived by son Jeffrey (Lori Bennett); 1 grandson; nieces and nephews; caregivers Elba and Norma. Groman Eden

Melvin Fineburg died Nov. 14 at 92. Survived by wife Shirley; daughters Paula (Al) McQueen, Nancy (Barry) Gordon; 5 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Groman Eden

Edith Fisher died Nov. 13 at 87. Survived by daughter Laura (Sam) Craven; sons Keith (Jackie), Joel (Mary); 5 grandchildren; sister Toby Kenny; nieces and nephews. Groman Eden

Emily Frankel died Nov. 18 at 75. Survived by husband Laurence; daughter Janet (H. Stanton Orser); son Paul; brother Leonard (Jill) Polan; sister Jean (Steve) Morris. Mount Sinai

Gloria Friedman died Nov. 20 at 85. Survived by husband Sanford; sons Harry (Kathleen), Mark (Debbie); 4 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Robert Friedman died Nov. 17 at 94. Survived by niece Ilene (Andy) Scharlach. Hillside

William Frumovitz died Nov. 18 at 74. Survived by wife Adrienne; son Andrew (Lindsey), Michael (Karen), Matthew (Alexandra); mother Ruth; 7 grandchildren. Hillside

Beverly Betty Gardner died Nov. 15 at 80. Survived by sons Jeff (Nancy), Jon (Lori); daughter Audrey Joanne (Bill) Schumacher; 3 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Stanley Gendler died Nov. 20 at 94. Survived by son Keith (Anita); daughter Holly Welk; 2 grandchildren; brother Gus. Mount Sinai

Alex Gottlieb died Nov. 9 at 98. Survived by son Lester (Donna); 4 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

James Grant died Nov. 2 at 98. Survived by daughter Eleanor Herscher; 2 grandsons. Groman Eden

Phyllis R. Greenberg Sacks died Nov. 3 at 88. Survived by daughter Andrea (Robert); stepsons William (Dana), David (Rose); 4 grandchildren; 1 step-granddaughter. Groman Eden

Shirley Ann Gross died Nov. 23 at 85. Survived by daughter Susan (Pete) Phaneuf; son Steve (Pam) Dinkowitz; 4 grandchildren; 1 great-grandson; brother Bill (Michelle) Gitmed. Groman Eden

Homer Harvey died Nov. 15 at 91. Survived by wife Gloria; daughters Ruth, Julia, Lillian (Mark) Banchik; 7 grandchildren. Hillside

Martin Paul Hochberg died Nov. 5 at 73. Survived by sons Michael (Sinead); Mark (Heather); brother Richard. Groman Eden

Rose Shirley Jacobson died Nov. 8 at 95. Survived by daughter Fran (Stuart) Jaffe; sons Dale, Todd (Karina); 5 grandchildren; sister Lillian Garfinkel. Mount Sinai

Ruth Kaufman died Nov. 22 at 82. Survived by daughter Angela; sons Howard (Andrea), Gregory; 5 grandchildren. Groman Eden

Lawrence “Larry” Kravitz died Nov. 7 at 86.  Survived by daughters Suzi (Shawn) Myers, Cathy (Steve) Resnick; 3 granddaughters; former wife Sandy Stackler. Mount Sinai

Barbara Krongaus died Nov. 16 at 90. Survived by sisters Helen Saltsman, Gloria Mendelsohn, Mynda Siskind; 3 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild; 1 nephew. Hillside

Gertrude Konikoff died Nov. 21 at 94.  Survived by nephews Raymond (Patrice) Beck, Steven (Becky) Beck, Ron (Randy) Beck, Jeff (Estela) Beck; niece Margie (Michael) Rubin; 15 great-nieces and great-nephews; 10 great-great-nieces and great-great-nephews. Mount Sinai

Jack Lerman died Nov. 10 at 88. Survived by wife Elaine; daughter Jane (Michael) Urman; son Ned; 4 grandchildren; 1 great-grandson. Groman Eden

Ernest Mark died Nov. 14 at 91. Survived by wife Alice; son Ed (Maura); 2 grandchildren; brother Michael (Sally). Mount Sinai

Ruth Markman died Nov. 10 at 95. Survived by son Steven; daughters Leslie Greenshields, Marla; 3 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren. Groman Eden

Sandra Mast died Nov. 4 at 59. Survived by sisters Barbara (Samuel) Armstrong, Wendy (Dennis) Duncan. Hillside

Ralph Miller died Nov. 20 at 86. Survived by wife June; sons David Keith (Gillian), Mark (Renee), David Allen (Carmen); 6 grandchildren. Groman Eden

Evelyn Rhea Morton died Nov. 9 at 89. Survived by sons Monty (Elise), Lon (Rocky); 4 grandchildren; 16 great-grandchildren; nieces and nephews. Groman Eden

Sylvia Grad Pearlman died Nov. 20 at 90. Survived by daughter Stella (William) Bender; 2 grandsons. Groman Eden

Rahmat Pirnazar died Nov. 19 at 88. Survived by wife Mahin; sons Jonathan (Shradha), Alan; 2 grandsons. Mount Sinai

Roberto Posternak died Nov. 4 at 75. Survived by daughters Karina, Rebecca, Rachel; 1 granddaughter; sister Jane; brother Eduardo. Mount Sinai

Gertrude Puskin died Nov. 5. at 85. Survived by husband Irvin; daughter Moreen; son David; 3 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren; brother Max Freedman; sisters Florence Goldenberg, Ruth Richardson, Bella Fitzerman. Groman Eden

Seymour Rimland died Nov. 4 at 95. Survived by daughters Laurie (Alan) Rimland-Bonn, Lisa, Iris (Lester) Grayson; son Marshal; 10 grandchildren; 6 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Martin Michael Rosen died Nov. 15 at 79. Survived by sons Brian (Cui), Kevin (Randi); 4 grandchildren; sister Judy (Joe) Ehrlich. Mount Sinai

Ruth Rosenberg died Nov. 2. at 98. Survived by daughters Marian Rosen, Barbara Comstock; 3 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Groman Eden

Lucille Doris Rosenthal died Nov. 5 at 94. Survived by sons Richard (Jackie), Alan (Norma); daughter Karen (Harvey) Simon; 5 grandchildren; 7 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Eugene “Gene” Rothstein died Nov. 16 at 82. Survived by wife Iris; son Len (Michali); daughter Cindie (Michael) Gittelman; 7 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Frieda Schlossberg died Nov. 3 at 90.  Survived by sons Isidor (Jan), Abraham (Darlene), Larry; 7 grandchildren; 1 great-granddaughter. Mount Sinai

Norman Selbert died Nov. 2 at 88. Survived by wife Evelyn; daughters Linda (Phillip) Gardner, Joyce (Bernard) Goodman; 5 grandchildren; 9 great-grandchildren; sisters Sylvia Calderon, Sandra Caplan, Sheila Earnst, Eileen Ellison; many nieces and nephews. Groman Eden

Isabelle M. Silverman died Nov. 20 at 83. Survived by daughters Laura (Eric Splaver), Adele (Steve Cooperman), Lisa; 5 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Ines Zohar Sitruk died Nov. 18 at 87.  Survived by daughters Esther (Bernard) Turk, Marie (Carlo Migliarini) Fyhrie, Lucienne (David) Soleymani; 8 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Steven Slatkin died Nov. 16 at 57. Survived by wife Janis; son Joshua; father Gerald; mother Sandra; sisters Barbara DeLisa, Laurie Pritchard; brother Robert. Mount Sinai

Morton Sollod died Nov. 3 at 91. Survived by daughter Susan (Michael) Sollod Roberts; sons Stuart (Toni Stadler), Ira (Caren); 7 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Franklin Victor Spellman died Nov. 8 at 70. Survived by wife Elizabeth; son Alexander (Tiffany); 2 granddaughters; sister Jill (Leonard) Polan; brother Douglas (Trish Mickelson). Mount Sinai

Harold Steppler died Nov. 1 at 90. Survived by wife Shirley Lazarus; daughters Dianne Aubermann, Terry Sitkoff; 4 grandchildren. Hillside

Cynthia Tiber died Nov. 20 at 81.  Survived by husband Arnold; son Steve (Tammy); daughter, Bonnie (Philip) Novak; 6 grandchildren; brother Morty (Marilyn) Neril. Mount Sinai

Gertrude “Gigi” Tucker died Nov. 16 at 97. Survived by daughter Arleen (Ronald) Siegel; son Martin (Suyee); 10 grandchildren; 14 great-grandchildren. Groman Eden

Merle Turchen died Nov. 19 at 69. Survived by son Arnold (Jennifer); 3 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Lois Hope Wedner died Nov. 17 at 93. Survived by daughter Laurie (David) Dominguez; daughter-in-law Maryanne; 4 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild; 1 niece; 1 nephew. Groman Eden

Delores Weinberg died Nov. 17 at 88.  Survived by daughter Jana Fein. Mount Sinai

Gertrude T. Weiner died Nov. 13 at 89. Survived by son Michael (Robyn); daughters Toby, Susan (Maurice) Lynn; 2 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Henry Wirtschafter died Nov. 5 at 85. Survived by wife Barbara; daughter Joy (Robert) Penner; sons Robert, Gary (Elise); 6 grandchildren. Hillside

Lawrence Worchell died Nov. 11 at 77.  Survived by wife Laura; sons Logan, Garrett (Debra), Mark (Blanca); 3 grandchildren; brother Marvin (Arlene). Mount Sinai

Linda Wynne died Nov. 11 at 66. Survived by son Jason Bramson; daughter Robyn (Scott Wippert) Bramson; 2 grandchildren; brother Robert (Marlene). Hillside

Obituaries: Week of December 18, 2015 Read More »