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May 8, 2014

This week in power: Odessa under fire and Israel at 66

A roundup of the most talked about political and global stories in the Jewish world this week:

Odessa worry
After reports surfaced earlier this week that the Jewish community of Odessa, Ukraine, was making evacuation plans, leaders assured the world that they were not planning to leave. “In connection with reports on the planned evacuation of the Jewish community of Odessa: No such plans exist,” Berl Kapulkin, a spokesperson for the local Chabad community, ” target=”_blank”>reminded Rick Moran at American Thinker. Others are ” target=”_blank”>Abe Foxman wrote in The Huffington Post.

“When our neighbours come to terms with history and accept our right to live alongside them as equals, we will be the first nation to extend our hand in peace and friendship,” This week in power: Odessa under fire and Israel at 66 Read More »

Obama urges fight against global tide of anti-Semitism

Recalling the horrors of the Holocaust, President Barack Obama urged nations to fight growing anti-Semitism and threats against Israel.

Speaking Wednesday night (May 7) to 1,200 supporters of the University of Southern California Shoah Foundation, Obama called for “confronting a rising tide of anti-Semitism around the world.

“We see attacks on Jews in the streets of major Western cities, public places marred by swastikas,” he continued. “From some foreign governments we hear the worst kind of anti-Semitic scapegoating.”

At the same time, “it’s up to us to speak out against rhetoric that threatens the existence of the Jewish homeland and to sustain America’s unshakeable commitment to Israel’s security,” Obama declared to loud applause.

The gala at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza marked the 20th anniversary of the founding of the Shoah Foundation by filmmaker Steven Spielberg, following the international success of his Holocaust-themed movie “Schindler’s List.”

President Barack Obama is presented with the Ambassador for Humanity Award by movie producer Steven Spielberg at the USC Shoah Foundation 20th Anniversary Gala in Los Angeles on May 7. Photo by Kevin Lamarque/Reuters

Spielberg presented the Ambassador for Humanity Award to Obama at the event, which raised $4 million for the foundation’s work in compiling video testimonies of 52,000 Holocaust survivors, liberators and other witnesses.

The work is continuing with testimonies from the last survivors of the 1915 genocide of Armenians in the Ottoman Empire and of the Japanese massacre of Chinese in Nanjing in 1937.

More recent testimonies are being collected from survivors of mass killing in Cambodia and Rwanda.

Stressing the importance of the testimony from survivors collected by the Shoah Foundation, Obama said, “The purpose of memory is not simply to preserve the past, it is to protect the future.”

Noting the foundation’s work with high school students, Obama observed, “We can teach our children the hazards of tribalism. We can teach our children to speak out against the casual slur.”

While Obama was the evening’s headliner, other speakers and entertainers included Spielberg, who noted that the key to preventing future genocides was to “never just stand by.”

Bruce Springsteen earned a standing ovation from an audience sprinkled with Hollywood’s heaviest hitters with renditions of “The Promised Land” and “Dancing in the Dark.”

Singer Bruce Springsteen performs at the USC Shoah Foundation 20th Anniversary Gala in Los Angeles on May 7. Photo by Kevin Lamarque/Reuters

TV host and comedian Conan O’Brien served as the evening’s host and suggested that given the massive traffic jams caused by security for the President’s visit, perhaps he could just send his message by Skype the next time around.

Praising the Shoah Foundation’s work, O’Brien deadpanned that it “was recording evidence of intolerance long before Donald Sterling’s girlfriend.”

Even with the array of the evening’s eloquent speakers, they were almost upstaged by Celina Biniaz, who was the youngest person included in Schindler’s famous list.

“Oskar Schindler gave me my life,” the Camarillo resident said. “Steven Spielberg gave me my voice.”

Obama urges fight against global tide of anti-Semitism Read More »

The Jewish Civilization Exchange, Part 2: On Jewish Leadership & ‘The Good Old Days’

Dr. Shalom Salomon Wald is a Senior Fellow at the Jewish People Policy Institute (JPPI) in Jerusalem, specializing in the history of Jewish civilization, Israeli S&T policy, and Jewish-Israeli links with China and India. His PhD thesis on the sociologist-historian Alfred Weber received the University of Basle’s prize as the best thesis in the social sciences in 1962. From 1964 to 2001, Dr. Wald served at the OECD Paris, the West’s biggest policy think-tank and advisory body, as an educational, science and technology expert, and as the co-founder and head of the OECD-DSTI Biotechnology Unit, authoring numerous OECD papers and publications. He joined the JPPI in 2002.

The following exchange is dedicated to Dr. Wald’s new book, Rise and Decline of Civilizations: Lessons for the Jewish People (Academic Study Press, 2014). Part 1 can be found right here.

***

Dear Shalom,

In your first response you wrote that when it comes to the thriving of the Jewish people “if history is a guide, the most critical of the ancient and still topical conditions is the quality of leadership”. While this is by no means a controversial statement, you then add that “maybe the problem is not a lack of leadership, but the absence of a Jewish state tradition and the chaotic character of too many Jews who are unwilling to submit to any leader”.

Now, it seems that almost every time the subject of Jewish leadership arises in public discussions, it is accompanied with at least some degree of yearning for ‘the good old days’ when there were real Jewish leaders and when ordinary Jews were generally more invested in their Jewishness (and were more interested in being led). Many people, including yourself, imply that we should learn from the past in that sense. But one could argue that the idea of ‘submitting to leaders’, as you describe it, has become less and less attractive to Jews and non-Jews alike as history progressed, and that this process is an integral and important part of a living in a freer and more democratic world. Many Jews would actually not see this ‘lack of submission’ and the erosion of (Jewish) authority as a problem, but as a great step forward.

In your first response you presented maintaining the Jewish people’s edge in Science and technology as a top Jewish priority, but one could argue that this edge was never really a matter of ‘submitting to Jewish leaders’ (Albert Einstein or Richard Feynman by no means reached their achievements through the assistance of Jewish leaders), and that perhaps the lesson from the past is that Jews really don’t need a strong Jewish leadership to thrive when it comes to science, technology and culture.

My question – do you really think today’s Jews’ unwillingness to submit to Jewish leadership is a problem, or is it just the product of living in a more democratic, less authoritarian world? Why should a Jew who doesn't feel he/she needs Jewish leadership go out and seek it?  

Yours,

Shmuel.

***

Dear Shmuel,

Your questions amalgamate six important issues. Let’s disentangle and re-formulate them:

1. Every discussion about current Jewish leadership is accompanied by some nostalgia for the “good old days” when the Jews, allegedly, had greater leaders than today.

2. In the “good old days”, Jews were more profoundly “Jewish” and more willing to accept being guided by leaders.

3. It derives from points 1 and 2 that Jews should learn from past history and be more willing to follow their leaders.

4. The conclusion under point 3, however, contradicts the dominant trend of modern times. The dominant feature of people living in a “freer and more democratic” world today is to eschew authority and avoid becoming subject to leaders.

5. It follows from 4 that many modern Jews see the “erosion of Jewish authority” not as a handicap but “as a great step forward”.

6. The Jewish People’s excellence in science and technology which is regarded as one of the conditions of Jewish and Israeli strength and survival was never the result of any “submission” to Jewish leaders. This excellence emerged irrespective of political leaders.

About Point 1: It is true that in Israel, a palpable nostalgia can sometimes be found in a part of the Ashkenazi middle and upper classes who lost political power when the Labour Party was defeated in the 1977 elections. Some of them long for the days of Weizmann, Ben Gurion, Golda Meir etc.  It is doubtful that Sephardim and Mizrahim, Haredim,  Russians who came during the last 20 years, or right-wing settlers – together the majority of Israel – long for the same leaders. For whom do they long, if at all? An Israeli opinion poll on this question, linking nostalgia for great leaders of the past to ethnic origin, political and religious affiliation and age group of the interviewees could be revealing. Listening to Israeli teachers who take their children to the old museum in Tel-Aviv where David Ben-Gurion proclaimed the State of Israel in 1948 is a sobering experience. Many children never even heard the names of Weizmann or Ben-Gurion before. Diaspora Jews are less likely to dream of Israel’s early leaders, although some who have a strong commitment to Israel may still do so.

This being said, nostalgia for the leaders of the “good old days” is not limited to Jews, it is typical of all old civilizations and even of many modern societies. It seems to be a psychological constant or even a need.

About Point 2: How credible is the claim that the Jews of “old days” were more willing to be led by their leaders than they are today? Which “old days”?  The leadership conditions of the (relatively) sovereign Biblical kingdoms during the First Temple period, of Judea during the Second Temple period, and of the State of Israel today are fundamentally different from the Jewish leadership conditions in the Diaspora, in which the Jews and their leaders were not really independent.

The claim that the Jews of the past were more willing to follow their leaders than they are today makes sense mainly in conditions of Jewish self-rule. However, this claim defies everything we know of old Jewish history and tradition. The Bible tells us that rebellion was one of the chief characteristics of the Children of Israel. It started according to the Bible even before the nation was born and got its first leader: when an angry Jew in Egypt insulted Moses with the words “Who made you chief and ruler over us?” and forced him to flee. It is no coincidence that this has become a well-known Biblical quote among Jews. The Biblical narratives of the kings of Israel show almost permanent tension between rulers and prophets, and the Talmud reveals the notorious disaffection of many sages from political authority: “Do not seek familiarity with the government”, we are warned in the Sayings of the Fathers. In no known period of their old independent history did Jews apparently tolerate their own political authorities uncritically, gladly and for long periods. Is Israel today returning to these – not so good –  “good old times”?

Maybe the statement that Jews followed their leaders more eagerly in the past than today was said primarily about the Yishuv during the years before and shortly after the creation of the State of Israel? It is easier to defend this statement for this relatively short period than for Jewish history as a whole. A majority or near-majority of the Yishuv supported the Labor Party, other left-wing parties and their leaders during more than one generation, from the late 1920s to the early 1970s. But as in the past in the Diaspora, the Jews of Israel were not really free until 1948. They had to cope with the policies of the British Mandate authorities. In their struggle for independence it made sense for them to support the leaders of the strongest parties. In spite of this constraint, fights between competing political parties never stopped and were often fierce even before 1948. Also, if Israelis today seem less willing to follow the same, or any political leaders than earlier generations, it is among other things because today’s  generation is much less homogeneous than the earlier ones.

About Point 3:  What Jews should learn from the past is not to “follow their leaders” but to be aware that the lack of effective leadership has often led to anarchy and catastrophe. This was so during the great revolt against Rome (66 to 70 CE) when nobody listened to the warnings of the nominal ruler, King Agrippas II and when Rabbi Yochanan Ben Sakkai who would save Judaism after the fall of the Temple, tried desperately to argue some of the rebels out of their crazy plan to defeat an all-powerful Rome. He too failed. The result of Jews following no accepted leaders was chaos, mayhem, civil war and destruction. A very different example is the failure of Jewish leadership, particularly in the United States at the beginning of and during the Shoah. It is still surprising that the Jews and their representatives, spread all over the world and allegedly widely connected, were less well informed of the beginning of  the Nazis’ extermination campaign than British military intelligence, the Red Cross, the Church, or even the military and political establishments of Sweden and Switzerland. Effective leadership requires timely and comprehensive information and the ability to act on this information. The Jews of 70 CE and of 1941 lacked the leadership and the information.

The main issue today in Israel is not the miraculous emergence of great leaders but the “capacity to govern”, to use Yehezkel Dror’s preferred term. In a democratic society in peaceful times, the capacity to govern depends, among other things, on a popular understanding that “politics is the art of the possible”. This always means a willingness to compromise, a gift that does not come easily to Israelis, partly because some of them remain addicted to utopian ideals. The capacity to govern also means that governments must be able to stay in power long enough to implement long-term decisions, without a permanent threat of being toppled by minority interests. All this is not new. It has been written and said again and again.

About Point 4: The currently dominant trend in democratic societies is to stay clear of authority and avoid being led by political leaders, you say. This is part of the “progress of history” – interestingly, here you use a term from the European Enlightenment that was taken up by Marxism-Leninism.  Continuing to draw from the vocabulary of Marxism-Leninism, does adherence to political leadership belong to the “dustbin of history”? True, many democratic societies are more disaffected from their leaders and governments than two generations ago, and many Western governments depend on minuscule parliamentary majorities if they are not minority governments.  At the same time, politically aggressive non-state actors seem to be getting stronger and can initiate, impose or prevent political decisions: NGO’s, the Green movements, academic associations, the “Twitter” and “Facebook” crowds, etc.  Is this dilution of state power and political leadership a continuous, irreversible trend in Western societies? Or can internal or external crises stop this trend and restore the traditional power and decision making role of political leaders? Time will tell.

If your suggestion is correct, people today should feel freer and happier because they are less subject to leadership decisions.  But they are not happy. In the United States and in France, rarely in history have the approval ratings of the sitting presidents been as low as today and the criticism of government as widespread, and rarely in history have Americans and Frenchmen been so worried and pessimistic about their future and that of their children.  Thus, disengagement or disaffection from political leadership and personal happiness do not seem to go together. What if the opposite is true (an iconoclastic thought) ?

About Point 5: I am surprised to read that many modern Jews regard the “erosion” of Jewish authority as “a great step forward”. I was not aware of this, hearing in Israel more complaints than congratulations about this erosion. Israel does not seem to be very different from other Western nations. In line with the latter, a part of the Jewish and Israeli public despises their government and does not feel bound by laws they don’t like. As the politically disaffected minority populations are growing faster than the average population, the economic, social and political consequences could get worse. Tackling these issues will require more leadership and authority, not less.

About Point 6: True, my text identified two conditions – amongst others – for a thriving future of the Jewish People and Israel: high-quality political and religious leadership, and excellence in science and technology as well as in many other fields of knowledge. But the text never inferred that Jewish excellence in science and technology resulted from “submitting to Jewish leaders” or that Richard Feynman and Albert Einstein owed some of their achievements to the “assistance of Jewish leaders”, far from it. These two conditions, statesmanship and a lead role in science and technology, do not directly depend on each other. Their link is indirect, but important.  Science and technology flourish in countries that provide ample material support and attach great public prestige to scientific discovery and technological innovation. This was the case in pre-war Germany and the United States, and it is partly still the case in the United States. It was not the case e.g. in pre-war Poland or Byelorussia. This is why Feynman and Einstein emerged and achieved fame in pre-war Germany and the United States and not in Poland or Byelorussia (from where Feynman’s father, a poor Jewish tailor, immigrated to America). Leaders who understand the critical role of science and technology will do more to secure funding for these fields and enhance their public standing than leaders who do not. It was Zionism’s and Israel’s great luck that it’s two most important early political leaders were also science enthusiasts: Chaim Weizmann was a brilliant scientist and inventor himself. He laid the basis for Israel’s science education and research. The second was David Ben-Gurion, who, without any education in science and technology, grasped that these fields would be indispensable for Israel’s survival and acted accordingly. Ben Gurion’s forward looking science and technology policy has had long-term effects on Israel’s achievements to this very day. 

Surely great Israeli scientists will in the future not “submit themselves to Jewish leaders” any more than in the past, but they will stay and remain creative in Israel only if Israeli society and the political system honour and support them. The signs are currently not bad. A few days ago the Israeli press published the results of a new opinion poll. Which are the most, and which the least respected professions in the eyes of the public? It turned out that scientists are on top of the list (second after medical doctors), and Knesset members are near the bottom of the list. How about improving the public’s respect for government and authority by electing a famous scientist as the next President of Israel, rather than a Knesset member?

The Jewish Civilization Exchange, Part 2: On Jewish Leadership & ‘The Good Old Days’ Read More »

Jewish boat making waves ahead of Amsterdam gay parade

Its maiden voyage is months away and will only take a couple of hours, but the first Jewish boat of Amsterdam’s annual gay parade-on-the-canals is already making international waves.

On Monday, the Jewish boat got the thumbs up from the British actor Stephen Fry, who described it on Twitter as an “Ace event for LGBT Jews worldwide,” adding: “As one of each I wish I could be there!”

The Jewish boat for the Amsterdam Pride Canal Parade 2014 is scheduled to hit the murky waters of Amsterdam’s Prinsengracht canal on Aug. 2. It was one of approximately 80 boats to win a March lottery ensuring its participation in the world-famous event, believed to be the world’s only aquatic pride parade. Other winners included the first boat for Moroccan gays.

The 18-year-old annual event draws hundreds of thousands of spectators who huddle along the canal to watch the decorated, themed vessels chart a west-east course through one of the Dutch capital’s main waterways. The Jewish boat, and an international Jewish LGBT conference that immediately precedes it, are being organized by a group called Exodays, whose board is made up of several young Jewish activists.

Even before it officially entered the parade, the Jewish boat was making a splash in the local media. Several Dutch dailies led their coverage of the lottery with news of the Jewish boat’s candidacy. And it again made headlines in the Dutch media last month amid erroneous reports that the passenger list — which has not yet been made public — would include Onno Hoes, the Jewish, gay mayor of Maastricht and chairman of CIDI, the Dutch Jewish community’s main advocacy group focusing on Israel and anti-Semitism. Hoes congratulated the organizers on Twitter but said he would not be joining. The mere mention of Hoes, though, was interesting to Dutch journalists because the 52-year-old politician was already in the spotlight after a tabloid in December published photos of him with a younger man in the lobby of a Maastricht hotel. While it wasn’t news that Hoes is gay — he has been quite open about that — it was news that he had been unfaithful to his husband, the television celebrity Albert Verlinde.

While Hoes is not on the boat, passengers include feature sports journalist Barbara Barend — another Dutch Jewish gay celebrity, who is a member of the CIDI board.

Jewish boat making waves ahead of Amsterdam gay parade Read More »

FHM’s rates sexiest Jewish women in the world

If you’ve been holding your breath, you can exhale. And then inhale. And exhale again. FHM’s ranking of the 100 sexiest women in the world is out, and there are a whole bunch of Jewesses on them.

Two JTA favorites make the Top 10: Mila Kunis (#6) and Scarlett Johansson (#10). According to Haaretz, Emily Ratajkowski (#4) is of Polish-Jewish descent on her mother’s side.

Check out Haaretz’s post for the other Jews on the list.

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Blank Pages


I was awakened by the sound of my doorbell, whose harmonious chimes sounded particularly celestial that morning, as if the LA Philharmonic was performing live in my home. I just knew a heavenly delivery awaited me, and the suspense was killing me. I threw on my robe and nearly flew down the stairs. I flung open my front door and there it stood before me- a golden box guarding the most sacred of all treasures a mother could desire. I couldn’t believe it was finally here. With whom should I share the magical secrets the gift entails? It was everything I dreamed of and so desperately couldn’t live without.  I
cut upon the box, ripped off all the wrapping paper and there it was: a huge 12×12, platinum plated, thousand page, ancient book.  After a few moments of breathing in the book’s delectable aroma, I looked up and read the title, “The Ultimate Parenting Bible- Everything Rona Needs to Know to be the Best Mom in the World.”

I read the first page with eager anticipation, “Dear Rona, this book was designed specifically for you and all the daily challenges pertaining to your unique life. In this book, you will find EVERY SINGLE answer to EVERY SINGLE parenting question imaginable. We hope you read each word very carefully and meditate on its deep meaning. We apologize, for there is no toll free number on which to dial us, nor is there an email address where we can be reached.  However, we are certain, should you heed to the advice in this book, you will thoroughly succeed. Sincerely, Your Guardian Angels from up Above.”

The best mom in the world? At last, did I have the tools and answers to be the mom of my dreams?  Can I finally raise my children in confidence and kick to the curb Second Guessing Rona, who cleverly finds a way to poke her critical head out just when I feel I’m doing great? Can I finally flush Guilty Conscious Rona down the drain, you know, the one that makes me feel as though any decision I make to tend to my own needs is a completely selfish one?  Can I finally run over Worry Bee Rona for all the times she jumps out in front of me, warning me that somehow everything I am doing will forever scar my children?

If I had all the answers I ever needed right here in this one book, can I finally stop trying so hard and over-thinking it all? Can I finally just be me, the calm, fun Rona that I know is somewhere in here, under layers of self-judgment and insecurity?  It was as if I had died and gone to Mommy heaven- I must have been dreaming. Somebody, please pinch me. Would I never again have to read fifteen completely contradicting books to figure out how to get my baby to sleep through the night? Would I never again have to call endless child development therapists to figure out how to get through the rough milestones? Would I never again have to TiVo another episode of Dr. Phil to learn all the proper parenting communication strategies?  Would I never again have to stay up all night scribbling yet another “Pros vs Cons” list in deciding if I should go back to work? All the answers lay here in the palm of my hands and I just knew life would never be the same again.

I flipped through the pages, eager to start learning it all. I was ready, determined and swore to the heavens I would follow each and every word of advice. I vowed to be a sponge and let it all just soak right in. But to my dismay, the pages were all blank. Page after page, chapter after chapter, nothing but blank pages appeared before me.  I darted to the trash can and tried to reassemble the golden box to see if perhaps something had fallen out- but nothing was there. I was sure I was missing something.  I was frantic- running up and down my street to see if possibly another box was to be delivered and dropped on its way. I went back to the book, thinking maybe I was too excited and didn’t notice the words on the pages. I checked each page, slowly. I kept flipping more pages, nothing after nothing and then more nothing. Finally, on the absolute very last page of my thousand page book, I found a few seemingly worthless words, “Laugh it off, dance it through, there’s nothing else you have to do. You are the best mom in the world simply by being you.”

Wait a minute- where are all the answers? What happened to all the advice I was promised? If I wanted a cute fortune cookie I would’ve gone to the Chinese noodle shop down the street. Suddenly, it was as though my fairytale moment turned into a devastating nightmare. Mommy heaven quickly turned into Mommy hell and I wanted to run away fast. Out of breath, drenched in sweat- I woke up. It was all a dream.

The more I socialize with other moms the more relevant my dream becomes. Not a day goes by without hearing another mom belittle herself by saying, “I’m the worst mom in the world.”  It’s as though we moms have been plagued with Worst Mom in the World Disease, a disease as contagious as that coughing, runny nose kid who so kindly shares the flu with your child’s entire nursery class. Pay closer attention and you’ll see it everywhere. Warning: once you listen for it, its vast prevalence will suffocate you. Moms are battling this illness at work, at home, at the park, at the store, even in the malls; the victims are multiplying in spades. Should we work, should we stay at home? Should we give our children sweets, should we not accustom them to the taste? Should we allow TV, should we ban it for life?

Oddly enough, I find that no matter which side of the spectrum moms around me choose to be, we often feel like we are on the wrong side- we are the WORST MOM IN THE WORLD.  If we choose to work, we feel we should be with the kids. If we are with the kids, we feel we should work. We have all felt the painful symptoms of the Worst Mom Disease at some point: If we gave our kids too much junk food, suddenly we feel we are the worst mom in the world. If they watched an extra show on the iPad, we automatically assign ourselves the role as worst mom in the world. If they were with the nanny for an extra two hours so that we could get to our errands, we are instantly back to being the worst mom in the world. If we had a deadline at work and weren’t home in time to put them to sleep, undeniably we just know we are the worst mom in the world. If, heaven forbid, we fed them boxed Mac’n Cheese for dinner, lock us up Officer, because we must be the worst mom in the world.

What is this dangerous epidemic? No matter how much we do, why do we feel it isn’t enough? No matter how hard we try, why do we still feel so lost? While I am no mental health expert, my years of observation tell me this is a disease we must stop in its tracks. For if we do nothing about it, if we don’t stop its destruction today, it will continue to spread and will ultimately break us moms at our core.

How about we take a lesson from my dream? Let us unveil the key that will empower us and see us through to recovery. While we are excessively consumed by this thing called parenthood, we are missing the best part of it all: how to just dance and laugh with our kids. While we’ve buried our heads in volume after volume of parenting guides, looking for all the answers on what to do, how to do it and when to do it, we are missing our fleeting chance to just be it- be the best mom we NATURALLY can be.

We think we know nothing unless five experts can verify its validity for us. What if it’s easier than we think? What if there is truth to my dream? What if we all stopped thinking so much and just focused on having more playful fun with our children and allowing them to have playful fun with us? What if our only goal is to make sure they feel, from their ten tiny toes, up to their gorgeous bright eyes, that home is a place where magic happens: where music is for blasting, hands are for clapping, feet are for dancing and giggles are mandatory year round?

How about we change the narrative in our minds and create a new standard of what the best mom in the world looks like? Here’s my own stab at- my list of what an amazing mom looks like:

How about if you have ever…

– Read books to your children making silly voices to act out the characters, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Blasted a song loud in your car, holding your pretend mic and singing at the top of your lungs with your kids, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Let your kids go crazy with finger paint, encouraging them test their creative limits, even though you knew the clean up would be dreadful, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Poured extra bubble soap in the bath just to see their excitement as the bubbles overflowed the tub, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Made your child feel as though a very simple concept they shared with you was the best idea you had ever heard in your entire life, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Told them they are the most important person in the world to you, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Taken a few moments, while they played outside, to point out and teach them something new about nature, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Grabbed your kids hands and jumped up and down with them just to hear their incessant laughter, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Held your baby tight in your embrace and waltzed with them across your kitchen floor, cheek to cheek YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Sang “Itsy Bitsy Spider” (ad nausea) while doing that funky thing with your fingers over and over again until you were sure your fingers would fall off, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Swept your child off their feet after a bad fall, kissing their booboo and holding them in your arms until they no longer felt the pain, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

– Slept on the floor in their room, night after night, until the “scary monster” under their bed ran away, YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD

To spare exposing any more personal and potentially embarrassing moments with my kids, I’ll stop this list here! There are clearly endless examples such as these that one can write, and I encourage you to make your own list. Let your list be your reminder that it is indeed the small things that matter most.  Each time you feel you just gave your kid an extra ounce of joy, excitement or love- you remember that you gave them the universe. You are THEIR “Best Mom in the World”.

And finally, for all the important decisions we must make each day, I say step into my dream with me and open up your own empty parenting book. Fill the thousands of blank pages with whatever words feel right to YOU. Fill your chapters with the journeys that best suit YOU and YOUR FAMILY. But more important than anything, regardless of the unique parenting choices we each make, let us moms all share the absolute very last page of our books, “Laugh it off, dance it through, there’s nothing else you have to do. You are the best mom in the world simply by being you.”

Happy Mother’s Day

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Deborah Feldman’s Hasidic ‘Exodus’

I’m still so worried about Deborah Feldman, the young woman who fled the Satmar Hasidic community in Brooklyn with her small son in tow, and a flood of childhood memories, both horrifying and wonderful.  She chronicled her turbulent early life in her first book, a surprise bestseller, called “Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots,” and now she continues her compelling story in “Exodus: A Memoir” (Blue Rider Press, $26.95).

Feldman wrote with bracing candor and rawness about her paternal grandparents, both of whom were Holocaust survivors from Hungary.  They raised her after her mother abandoned her, and her father, due to mental incapacities, was unable to care for her.  Feldman admits she was always well-fed and provided for, but remembers her childhood as suffused with feelings of emotional isolation and maternal deprivation.  Her grandparents had already raised 11 children before taking young Deborah in, and each grandparent had suffered grievous losses under Hitler.  Her grandmother lost almost a dozen siblings and her parents in Auschwitz, and survived only by being miraculously chosen for work duty instead of being instantly gassed along with the rest of her family upon arrival.  Although she never spoke directly about the past, she continued to light yahrzeit candles for each one of them every single day; a subversive act since Jewish law permits the mourning period to last only one year, but she refused to stop.  Young Deborah found her grandmother distant and perplexing, which left her restless and anxious for something more.  There were brief moments of closeness when they cooked together, or worked outside in her grandmother’s beloved garden, but most of the time she felt utterly alone and enveloped by silence.  The rules of Orthodox life seemed to provide a prison of sorts that somehow was able to contain her grandmother’s grief, but for Deborah it was always just a prison and one that grew more ruthless with time.

Deborah felt stigmatized at school because of her own mother’s abandonment and her father’s inadequacies, which her Aunt Chaya continued to remind her brought shame upon her.  It was Aunt Chaya who arranged for her to marry at 17, a man Deborah knew for less than an hour, and one who came from a family more stringent than her own.   The marriage was a disaster from the beginning, and the young couple had tremendous difficulty consummating it which brought them further scorn from both families who interfered noisily in the most personal of realms.  Deborah, now close to new levels of despair, began to fantasize about escaping which she did shortly after giving birth to her son Isaac.  She had secretly enrolled in a creative writing course unbeknownst to her husband and it was there with new friends that she hatched a plan, almost Katie Holmes style, that had her safely situated elsewhere with legal counsel by the time her husband understood her intentions never to return.  But what now?  Where should she go?  How could she support herself?  Whom could she trust?  Where would Isaac go to school?  How would she navigate single motherhood and the temptations of the secular world?  How could she reinvent herself as a Jew outside of the restrictions of the Satmar community?  Her new book attempts to tell us.

The first months on her own are incredibly confusing.   The joys of wearing form-fitting clothing and smoking and eating whatever she pleases and trying to date and make new friends are dampened by insomnia and anxiety that refuses to desist.  Her emotionally packed narrative voice keenly captures the racing mindset of a young fragile person who is alone and lonely; uncomfortable with others.  She begins making impulsive decisions, some that flirt with recklessness.  She has a few one-night stands but finds them unfulfilling.  She enters into a few longer long-distance relationships with men that soon fray, and begins obsessing about finding a perfect spot to put down roots as if some magical place might really exist that will wash away her sorrow.  Manhattan disappoints her and overwhelms her.  So does reconnecting with her mother with whom she feels uncomfortable.  She begins to take road trips and finds herself self-conscious as a Jew amidst Gentiles in vast swatches of America that are far from New York City.

She attempts to find comfort with a “healer” of sorts who places rocks and precious stones upon her as she closes her eyes and listens to his requests to reach inside herself and locate her inner pain and anger.  Most of the time, her head simply hurts.  She poses naked for a man who wishes to paint her, and takes up with a German guy whose own mother’s parents revered Hitler.  She feels drained by the ongoing negotiations with her husband about their son and the custody arrangements they need to work out.  In frustration, she considers the possibility that she may not have the ability to “form real and lasting connections.  The system that everyone else uses seems closed off to me…I suspect I am not the average loner.   For my entire life I have occupied an enclosed mental space that no one has managed to penetrate…Perhaps I’ve chosen loneliness because it is my language.” 

But eventually and ironically it is thoughts of her grandmother whom she has not seen or spoken to since her departure that dominate her thoughts.  She writes candidly “If I could piece together the journey my grandmother had taken before she landed in the lap of the Satmar Hasids, somehow I could put into context my own journey out and back into the larger world she had once inhabited.  In a sense, I would be able to clarify my own displacement only in the context of hers.  If I came home empty-handed, I worried, I’d never achieve context for my own life.  We are, sometimes, simply reduced to where we come from–if not in the most immediate sense, then in an ancestral one.  I was convinced that the angst that flowed in my veins was a result of more than just my childhood, that it was part of a greater composite inheritance that I was only a fragmentary part of.”  Armed with folders filled with information and photographs about her grandmother’s life in Hungary before the war that she took with her when she fled Brooklyn, she leaves to trace her grandmother’s footsteps in Europe, both before and after the apocalypse. 

She writes with love and tenderness about her grandmother, a love she clearly feels for no one else: “There was no elegance in Hasidic life, but there was elegance in her, in her origins, in her story, and in her inimitable cooking…I cherished the photos taken of her as a young woman in gorgeous hand-sewn dresses with rows of tiny cloth buttons.  I loved the way her slim ankles looked in delicate T-strap shoes.  There was something about her loveliness and poise, which stood in sharp contrast to a photograph I found in her drawer, one of her being carried out from Bergen-Belsen on a stretcher from the British Red Cross.  To embody beauty after you had endured the ugliest of assaults, that was magic to me.  I surmised that there was something very powerful at the core of my grandmother’s spirit.”

As there is in Deborah Feldman’s.  Her choking and somewhat chaotic voice which initially is filled with longing and bitter confusion slowly gives way to the first nuggets of adult wisdom; and perhaps even the beginnings of forgiveness and acceptance.  She does not present herself as a heroic figure and that is what is so threatening about her story to those she left behind as numerous blog posts reveal.  She simply claims her own truth, aware that it is hers alone.  She presents her open wounds and scars, and tries to understand the internal hurts other people carry.  She misses her grandmother; who for all intensive purposes was her mother; the only one she ever had.

Deborah Feldman reminds me of Lena Dunham’s autobiographically based “Hannah” on the hit HBO series “Girls.”  Both women seem hungry for an intensity of experience and a closeness with others that continually eludes them.  Both seem deeply affected by maternal figures that were too distracted and ill-equipped to meet their needs.  Both can act rashly and hurt others before realizing it.  They are awkward and clumsy and vulnerable to obsessive thoughts that threaten to overwhelm them.  Both need to remain vigilant to keep both their real and imaginary demons at bay.  Both have tremendous creative abilities of self-expression that have the capacity to save them or smother them.  I’m still worried about Deborah Feldman.

Elaine Margolin is a frequent book reviewer for the Jewish Journal and other publications.

Deborah Feldman’s Hasidic ‘Exodus’ Read More »

Obama says kidnapping of Nigerian girls shows man’s ‘darkest impulses’

President Barack Obama issued a somber warning on Wednesday that the kidnapping of Nigerian girls and sectarian conflicts worldwide are a sign that “we have not extinguished man's darkest impulses.”

Obama accepted a humanitarian award from director Steven Spielberg at the University of Southern California's Shoah Foundation, a Holocaust museum founded by Spielberg after he made the film “Schindler's List.”

Obama spoke about a variety of global conflicts including Ukraine, Syria, and the kidnapping of more than 200 Nigerian girls by the Boko Haram Islamist militant group.

“We only need to look at today's headlines: The devastation of Syria, the murders and kidnappings in Nigeria, the sectarian conflicts, the tribal conflicts to see that we have not yet extinguished man's darkest impulses,” Obama said.

He expressed alarm about a rising tide of anti-Semitism based on events such as a gunman's attack on two Jewish facilities in Kansas and the distribution of pamphlets in eastern Ukraine that demanded the registration of Jews.

“None of the tragedies that we see today may rise to the full horror of the Holocaust,” he said. However, he said “they demand our attention that we not turn away.”

“We have to act even where there is sometimes ambiguity. Even when the path is not always clearly lit. We have to try. That includes confronting the rising tide of anti-Semitism in the world,” he said.

Obama said Americans must speak out against any rhetoric that threatens the existence of Israel “and to sustain America's unshakeable commitment to Israel's security.”

The Shoah Foundation's annual gala featured Bruce Springsteen performing “Promised Land” and “Dancin' in the Dark,” and a comedy routine from Conan O'Brien.

At Obama's table were Spielberg, Barbra Streisand and “Schindler's List” star Liam Neeson.

Reporting By Steve Holland; Editing by Paul Tait

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In a first, Israeli women take test for kosher supervisor

Nine women took the Chief Rabbinate’s exam to be kosher inspectors — the first time females were permitted to take the test.

The women took the exam Wednesday in a separate room from the 200 men taking the test at the International Convention Center in Jerusalem.

Allowing the women to take the test resolved a lawsuit filed last year with Israel’s Supreme Court by the Emunah organization, which runs a kosher supervision course for women. The court had asked the Chief Rabbinate to allow the course graduates to take the exam, Haaretz reported Thursday.

The Chief Rabbinate’s decision to allow women to take the exam was based on a ruling by Chief Rabbi David Lau made over the objections of Chief Rabbinate members.

In a first, Israeli women take test for kosher supervisor Read More »

Anti-Christian slogans alarm Church before Pope’s Holy Land visit

The Roman Catholic Church in Jerusalem, preparing for a visit by Pope Francis later this month, has expressed alarm over threats to Christians scrawled by suspected Jewish extremists on church property in the Holy Land.

In an incident on Monday, “Death to Arabs and Christians and all those who hate Israel” was daubed in Hebrew on an outer column of the Office of the Assembly of Bishops at the Notre Dame Center in East Jerusalem.Pope Francis greets a child as he arrives to lead his Wednesday general audience in Saint Peter's Square at the Vatican May 7, 2014. REUTERS/Tony Gentile

“The wave of fanaticism and intimidation against Christians continues,” the Latin Patriarchate of Jerusalem posted on its website, referring to so-called “price tag” incidents.

“Mere coincidence?” the patriarchate statement asked. “The Notre Dame Center is property of the Holy See and this provocation comes two weeks before Pope Francis' visit to the Holy Land and Jerusalem.”

Israel's Haaretz newspaper reported that Israeli security services fear that Jewish radicals might carry out a major hate crime against the Christian population or institutions to drum up media attention during the Pope's pilgrimage.

Police districts, the newspaper said, were ordered to produce security plans to protect Christian sites and gather intelligence on Jewish extremist activities.

A police spokesman declined to comment directly on the report but said stringent security measures would be in effect for the papal visit.

In recent years, “price tag” attacks have targeted mosques, Palestinian homes and Christian monasteries in the occupied West Bank and East Jerusalem, areas Israel captured in a 1967 war and

Palestinians seek as part of a future state.

“Price tagging” – a reference by ultranationalist Jews to making the government “pay” for any curbs on Jewish settlement on Palestinian land – has also occurred in Israeli military installations in the West Bank and Arab villages in Israel.

Pope Francis is due to tour the Holy Land from May 24 to 26, visiting Jordan, the West Bank and Jerusalem, where he will meet Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew, spiritual leader of the world's Orthodox Christians.

The pontiff, who like his predecessors John Paul and Benedict has friendly ties with Jewish religious leaders, is due to meet Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu at the Notre Dame Center, located just outside the walls of the old city.

PRICE TAG “TERRORISM”

The bishops' statement said they “are very concerned about the lack of security” for Christian property and what they called the “lack of responsiveness from the political sector” after earlier attacks. They feared an escalation of violence.

The frequency of “price tag” attacks – 14 have been reported this year – has risen sharply over the past month since the Israeli military demolished structures in a West Bank settlement built without government authorization.

Internal Security Minister Yitzhak Aharonovitch and Justice Minister Tzipi Livni said on Wednesday they would ask the cabinet to classify groups behind “price tag” attacks as terrorist organizations, opening the way for the possible use of detention without trial against members.

Despite dozens of arrests over the past year of suspected “price-taggers”, there have been few convictions. Police say there are only a few score culprits, many known by name, but about half of them are minors to whom courts show leniency.

The patriarchate said that the heads of churches in the Holy Land are preparing “a series of actions aimed at informing local and international public opinion, and to make the authorities and law officials aware of their responsibilities”.

Editing by Mark Trevelyan

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