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December 31, 2013

The Jews Of The Year, 2013

Every year, at precisely this season, Time magazine has its man/woman of the year. There should be a Jewish list as well. Here is a list of the Jews who moved me, challenged me, and/or amused me during this tumultuous year of 2013.

Anat Hoffman. Chair of Women of the Wall and Israel’s pre-eminent activist for social justice and gender equality. Anat, along with the throngs of women and men who have joined her, has succeeded in focusing the attention of the Jewish world on a gaping hole — gender equality at Judaism’s most sacred site. Those who wonder about the future of religious Judaism – any version of religious Judaism – might be refreshed by the fact that we now have “binders full of women” (or scrolls full of women, more likely) who are willing to tolerate verbal and physical abuse in order to (gasp!) chant Torah at the Kotel. Keep it coming, Anat.

Jacob The Bar Mitzvah Boy. OK, so he's not really a boy. That would actually be Vanessa Bayer on “Saturday Night Live. '” On “Weekend Update,” he (he?) launches into a canned, cheesy bar mitzvah speech, filled with asides to various family members. Vanessa, by the way, is Jewish, and obviously spent many Shabbat mornings in synagogue. Thanks, Vanessa, for reminding rabbis, cantors and educators how bar and bat mitzvah sometimes looks from the pews, and perhaps for getting us to re-think how we approach this ritual moment.

Edie Windsor. Edie fought for the right for her marriage to her late beloved Thea Spyer to be officially recognized, and in so doing, won a major victory with massive implications for so many lives. Edie is everyone's “maiden aunt” who suddenly has her “enough moment.” There’s nothing like being hauled out of relative obscurity, in advanced age, and realizing that your life had even more significance than you had even thought. 

Philip Roth. The quintessential American Jewish novelist and one time enfant terrible celebrated his eightieth birthday, with an announcement of his retirement. No one did a better job of interpreting the contemporary American Jewish experience as Philip Roth, if only because he refused to sentimentalize it. My short list of favorites: Goodbye, Columbus; The Professor of Desire; The Ghostwriter; Indignation; Nemesis, and the ultimate Holocaust novel, The Plot Against America – which takes place in Newark and is probably the most gripping piece of American Jewish fiction produced in the last decade. Oh, and still no Nobel prize for literature. Some people just have no taste.

And some that we lost…

Rabbi David Hartman. Rarely has a Jewish thinker had as much influence over so many. He was a penetrating thinker, a brilliant teacher, a master institution builder, a man who completely rewrote what a thinking Orthodoxy and critical Zionism could look like in our world. He was penetrating, loving, irascible — usually simultaneously. It was a profound honor to have known him and to have learned from him. My life has never been the same. And I am very, very far from alone. His teachings live on in the classrooms, academies and pulpits of the Jewish world. 

Edgar Bronfman. Like Moses, he spent his youth in the “palace” of privilege, and he could have continued in that mode. But like Moses, “he went out to see his people,” and his life, and world Judaism, would never be the same. Almost everything that is good and transformative in the Jewish world had his, or his family’s name on it. Even better, he inspired others to give. And even better than that, he was not only a giver and an activist – he was a faithful student of Jewish texts. Now comes the challenge: who, of the 30s-40s age cohort, will take over for him? Who will be the major funders for the next generation? As the Pew Report made abundantly clear, we have a lot to do. Who is going to help?

Lou Reed. If you were a Jewish kid from Long Island, and of a certain age, and a musician, you wanted to be Lou Reed. Paul Simon was a nice Jewish boy whose music your mother would conceivably enjoy. Lou Reed wasn't nice. We don’t have an overabundance of Jewish rock stars who are actively and affirmatively Jewish. Lou always celebrated his Judaism – even and especially when he was “walking on the wild side.”

Arik Einstein. Arik basically invented Israeli rock music. He was an unusual rock musician – humble, almost shy. He had a great voice. He taught us that “you and I can change the world.” In that sense, he hearkened back to a more innocent, and perhaps more hopeful Israel. 

Superman Sam. I type this with trembling hands. Little Sam Sommers, age eight, the beautiful, sweet child of two rabbis, succumbed to leukemia – but not before inspiring a national movement on the part of rabbis and others to raise money and consciousness about childhood cancer. A lot of people are shaving their heads because of him. That campaign has happened almost entirely on social media, demonstrating what happens when chesed goes viral. And finally, his parents exhibited faith, grace, courage and hope beyond any human measure and description. There are legends that say that God weeps. Maimonides would have said that God has neither a body, nor eyes, nor tear ducts. Well, Maimonides was wrong. God is weeping right about now. 

My hope for Sam: in the olam ha-ba, in the world to come, Rabbi David Hartman is teaching him Torah. Edgar Bronfman is creating a new foundation, just for him, and is his Talmud chevruta (study partner) as well.

And, during breaks, Arik and Lou are doing duets, writing new music and jamming together. 

A good, healthy 2014 to all.

The Jews Of The Year, 2013 Read More »

Helping Families Have the Most Difficult Conversation

Over the weekend I listened to a moving interview on NPR by Linda Wertheimer of former Boston Globe columnist Ellen Goodman concerning a project that Ms. Goodman helped to establish to encourage adult children and their parents to talk openly about the most difficult and challenging of life’s transitions at the end of life. It is called “The Conversation Project.” Its home page says that

“It’s time to transform our culture so we shift from not talking about dying to talking about it. It’s time to share the way we want to live at the end of our lives. And it’s time to communicate about the kind of care we want and don’t want for ourselves.”  [See: http://theconversationproject.org/about/]

Most people, Ellen Goodman says, have not had that conversation and therefore are unprepared for the inevitable, though most elderly parents have clear ideas about what they want at the end of their lives. They don’t share their wishes with their children, however, because they fear burdening and worrying them, and adult children don’t raise the matter with their parents because they fear upsetting them.

Goodman notes that as unsettling an experience as a parent’s death is, surveys indicate that when conversations about it take place there results less depression, less sorrow, less guilt, and less regret felt by everyone. The conversation can be among the richest and most intimate that we ever have together.

When there is no conversation, however, children often feel lonely and uncertain about what to do when their parents die because they do not know what their parents would have wanted. If adult children, in trepidation, fear and/or denial, avoid the inevitable and suppress conversation when their parents want to talk, their parents feel cut off and likely never will have the opportunity to make known what they really want to their children.

The Conversation Project has conducted surveys showing a substantial gap between what people want and what they have shared with those closest to them:

• 90% know it is important to have these conversations, but only 30% are having them;

• 60% say that it is “extremely important” that families not be burdened by tough decisions, but 56% have not communicated their end-of-life wishes;

• 70% say they prefer to die at home, but 70% actually die in a hospital, nursing home or long-term care facility;

• 82% believe it is important to put their wishes in writing, but only 23% have done so.

The Conversation Project’s “Starter-Kit” offers a workbook of questions that needs to be clarified and shared, and acknowledges how difficult it is for many people to know how to begin the conversation. The Project organizers suggest starting by completing this sentence: “What matters to me at the end of life is…..” 

They offer other questions for parents to ask themselves and then share with their children for discussion: 

• What is most important to me?

• What can I not imagine living without?

• What are my greatest worries at the end of my life?

• Who do I trust to talk to about my desires and wishes?

• What milestones do I want to meet before I die? 

• What do I want to know about my health?

• What do I want my loved ones to know about my health?

• How aggressive should the treatment be in the last stages of my life?

• Who do I want involved in my end-of-life care?

• What do I want my loved ones, doctors/nurses and clergy to understand about my wishes?

• Do I wish to be alone or surrounded by my loved ones when I die?

• What do I want my loved ones to do when I die?

• What affairs do I need to get in order now?

• Do I have a will/trust set up and an Advanced Directive (AD), Health Care Proxy (HCP) and Living Will in place?

The Conversation Project is a gentle, thoughtful and loving prod to help open the hearts, minds and souls of parents and children to each other as the end of life approaches.

See Wertheimer’s and Goodman’s NPR conversation here:  http://www.npr.org/2013/12/28/257822206/helping-families-have-the-most-difficult-conversation

To assist Jews in thinking about Judaism’s traditions concerning terminal illness, death, funerals, burial, and mourning, I have written a 45-page life-cycle guide called “Preparing for Jewish Burial and Mourning”  in an easy-to-use format that addresses most of the questions Jews concerning end-of-life matters, as well as a practical step-by-step guide to prepare for it.

See: http://www.tioh.org/images/Worship/ClergyStudy/preparing%20for%20jewish%20burial%20and%20mourning.pdf or http://hillsidememorial.org/images/Jewish-Lifecycle-Guide.pdf.

Don’t put off thinking about these matters, putting your wishes in writing, and discussing them forthrightly with the people you love the most. The time is now.

Helping Families Have the Most Difficult Conversation Read More »

The Israel Factor’s Top 2016 Candidates: Few Reasons for Concern

Of the 27 potential 2016 candidates for President that were ranked in the last Israel Factor survey (notably missing: the recently much-talked-about Mike Huckabee), only six were ranked 7 or more on the “good for Israel” scale. They are:

Hillary Clinton

8

Joe Biden

7.5

Cory Booker

7.43

Jeb Bush

7.33

Chris Christie

7.3

Andrew Cuomo

7.25

What is it that makes them attractive to our panel? First of all, that they have a chance of winning – for now, a chance of winning the candidacy is probably the key. Take a look at this table, which compares our top Democratic and Republican candidates with the top candidates to win the nomination according to PredictWise. The top three Republicans are the same, just not in the exact same order. The top two Democrats are the same, with the fourth also the same (there is a difference in the third pick).

 

Democratic Candidates

Republican candidates

Israel Factor

PredictWise

Israel Factor

PredictWise

Clinton

Clinton (55.1% chance of winning)

Bush

Christie (18.5% chance)

Biden

Biden (6.8% chance)

Christie

Rubio (14.5% chance)

Booker (Not ranked by PredictWise)

Warren (Israel Factor: 5.87)

Rubio

Bush (10.9% chance)

Cuomo

Cuomo (3.8% chance)

Huntsman (19 at PredictWise)

Paul (Israel Factor: 3.28; 7.3% chance)

Villaraigosa (12th at PredictWise)

Rahm Emanuel (Not ranked by Israel Factor)

Cantor (16 at PredictWise)

Cruz (Israel Factor: 5.11; 5.8% chance)

Gillibrand (8th at PredictWise)

Patrick (Israel Factor: 5.57)

Pence (Not ranked by PredictWise)

Walker (Factor: not ranked)

What do we learn from this?

That all in all, chances are that our Israel Factor experts aren't going to be hugely disappointed with the candidate (like they were in 2008, when Obama was far from being the panel's preferred candidate).

Tricky candidacies include, for now, Warren on the Democratic side – the panel doesn't feel comfortable with her, and she is up there as a strong PredictWise candidate – and, of course, Rand Paul, the lowest ranking Israel Factor candidate, but a strong Republican contender (on the Republican side, Ted Cruz is also problematic, with relatively high chances of being nominated and a skeptical Factor ranking, but hardly as low as Paul's).

(And yes, we do know it is very early and that many things can change.)

The Israel Factor’s Top 2016 Candidates: Few Reasons for Concern Read More »

NBA’s Tony Parker apologizes for anti-Semitic salute

NBA star Tony Parker has apologized for performing an anti-Semitic salute after a three-year-old photo was published in the French media.

The photo shows Parker, who was born in Belgium and is a French national, performing the quenelle salute earlier this year with its inventor, the French comedian Dieudonne M’bala M’bala.

The quenelle is a quasi-Nazi salute designed to circumvent France’s laws against displaying Nazi symbols.

The Los Angeles-based Simon Wiesenthal Center and the Anti-Defamation League had called on Parker, who plays point guard for the San Antonio Spurs, to apologize for performing the salute.

“While this gesture has been part of French culture for many years, it was not until recently that I learned of the very negative concerns associated with it,” Parker said in a statement released late Monday the Spurs.

[Related: Top 10 anti-Semitic, anti-Israel slurs of 2013]

“When l was photographed making that gesture three years ago, I thought it was part of a comedy act and did not know that it could be in any way offensive or harmful. Since I have been made aware of the seriousness of this gesture, I will certainly never repeat the gesture and sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding or harm relating to my actions,” Parker said.

The ADL praised Parker’s apology. “We call on those who have posed with the quenelle to follow Parker’s lead and stop using it. Responsible public figures should condemn those who use a gesture which was created to express anti-Semitism,” the ADL said in a statement.

Reports of the Parker salute came a day after soccer player Nicolas Anelka, a French national playing for Britain’s West Bromwich Albion soccer team, was roundly condemned for performing the salute during a match on Saturday. Britain’s Football Association has launched an investigation of the Anelka incident.

In a letter sent Tuesday to the Football Association and the UEFA, the governing body of European football, European Jewish Congress President Moshe Kantor called for a fight against anti-Semitism in football.

“At the European Jewish Congress, we regularly receive reports of attacks on Jews, whether verbal or physical, which also include acts of anti-Semitism at matches involving English and European football clubs,” Kantor wrote in letters to Greg Dyke, chairman of The Football Association and Michel Platini, president of UEFA. “Mr. Anelka’s recent action is a reminder that hatred of Jews in the stands can very easily find its way right on to the pitch. Similarly, the legitimization of anti-Semitic acts by players who are supposed to act as role models for youth is a particularly dangerous phenomenon, and one that is not restricted to Anelka alone.”

Kantor and the EJC offered their cooperation to the football associations to help fight anti-Semitism.

NBA’s Tony Parker apologizes for anti-Semitic salute Read More »

DiCaprio defends ‘Wolf of Wall Street’

Leonardo DiCaprio has responded to critics who say that “The Wolf of Wall Street,” Martin Scorsese’s new flick about Wall Street bankers getting reckless in the ’90s, condones the horrible behavior of its characters.

In the film, DiCaprio plays Jordan Belfort, a real-life stockbroker (raised by two Jewish accountants) who partied hard and defrauded clients. After being convicted of stock fraud and forced to pay restitution to victims, Belfort wrote a memoir on which the film is based.

[Related: 'The Wolf of Wall Street's' Jewish problem]

The movie delves deeply into Belfort’s party-boy lifestyle, with its drugs, yachts and doing drugs on yachts — not to mention his scornful attitudes toward women (the movie contains a marital rape scene). To some critics, Scorsese’s glamorous portrayal was tantamount to an endorsement of Belfort’s behavior, which cost his clients millions.

“This film may be misunderstood by some,” DiCaprio told Variety. “I hope people understand we’re not condoning this behavior, that we’re indicting it. The book was a cautionary tale and if you sit through the end of the film, you’ll realize what we’re saying about these people and this world, because it’s an intoxicating one.”

DiCaprio defends ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ Read More »

Who REALLY owns the Land of Israel?

After working several years in Israel advocacy, I've found that most discourse about the Arab-Israeli conflict centers around the question: Who owns the land of Israel, particularly the “West Bank” or “Judea and Samaria”? (Nomenclature depends on the narrative you favor).

The “West Bank” (WB) narrative: It’s “Palestinian land” because Palestinians are the indigenous people. Zionists are “colonialist invaders.”

The “Judea and Samaria” (JS) narrative: It’s “Jewish land” because the Jews have lived here as a sovereign people millennia ago, maintaining continuity, and then returned en masse upon acquiring the land in a war of self-defense.

Religious Jews and Muslims claim a divine landlord who promised them the land.

While interpretations of international law as to the legality of settlements vary according to bias, few have stopped to consider whether land could intrinsically belong collectively to an entire people. The notion of collectively owned land is what drives the “peace” process today and enables governments to consider racist policies of “population transfer” and “land swaps.”

Currently, in Israel “proper” (within the Green Line), only 7 percent of the land is owned privately by individuals (3 percent Jews and 4 percent Arabs). According to the Israeli NGO Regavim, the rest is owned by the Jewish state (80 percent) and the Jewish National Fund (13 percent). Israeli citizens lease the land in 49-98 year installments from the Israel Land Authority. Should the government repeal the lease, they are subject to eviction.

Approximately 30 percent of land in WB/JS is classified as Israeli state land, while the rest is unsurveyed (without proven ownership) or privately owned. Of the privately owned land, approximately 95 percent belongs to Arabs and 5 percent to Jews.

The Supreme Court of Israel has adopted Ottoman-turned-British Mandate law which assumes that cultivated land in WB/JS belongs to someone. This enables Arab individuals, families, and tribes to settle and acquire unsurveyed land through consistent cultivation. For example, Arab-planted olive tree orchards dominating the landscape have been rendered “Arab” land, which, contrary to misconceptions, Israel does not uproot. Jews, on the other hand, do not have the same rights, and Jewish agriculture on unsurveyed land does not grant Jews private ownership of it.

One reason why Israel does not transfer or sell public land to individuals is to ensure the collective Jewish claim to the land (which it could easily rescind). Jews the world over could feel they have a stake in the land, without purchasing or cultivating it. Interestingly enough, many of these Jews prefer to live in countries that respect the idea of private land ownership, a characteristic of modern, free countries.

While in WB/JS, Arab cans privately own land, they are forbidden by the Palestinian Authority to sell land to Israelis/Zionist Jews on threat of death, no matter benefits to the owners. Furthermore, under any authoritarian regime, is private property ever really “private”?

Should both Israel and any Palestinian leadership adopt policies of private land ownership, we’d come much nearer to peace than if we were to uproot anyone from their homes. First, it would break both sides out of the harmful, irrational and hopeless “Jewish versus Arab land” continuum. Jews and Arabs who value the land would either have to purchase it or cultivate it, and in essence assume productive, rational care of it. Their motivation–religious, nationalistic, or financial–matters less than if their intentions are peaceful. Criminals, terrorists, and aggressors, particularly those who use their property to kill and maim, potentially forfeit the state’s protection of their property.

Of course, the concept of private land ownership raises many new questions but also many new solutions.

With individuals owning land, disputes would be taken out of the nationalistic sphere and off the international stage. They’d be settled privately–not between nations–in lower, local courts, as in the rest of the world. With the Israeli Supreme Court adjudicating land disputes, the entire nation of Israel is potentially implicated in any verdict, which is one reason why Jewish settlement in WB/JS tears apart the Jewish community, with Jews quick to distance themselves from “settlers.”

Naturally, both Arab and Jewish leadership would have to respect private property for this paradigm shift. Perhaps this principle should be the touchstone in any conflict resolution. Would either governing body respect the property of its individual citizens or lawful residents?

In such a scenario, individuals would be freer to live their own lives, without constant fear of arbitrary demolition, with all peoples making the best of their resources and working together to keep what they worked so hard to own.

Who REALLY owns the Land of Israel? Read More »

An open to letter to Israel about New Years Eve

Dear Israel,

It has come to my attention that you have ambivalent and, even, hostile feelings toward celebrating New Years Eve. Apparently, the Jewish calendar is more important to you than the secular calendar and so Rosh Hashanah means more to you than NYE.

That Rosh Hashanah holds the preeminent place in your heart for marking the New Year is all well and good. But that you aren't gung-ho about NYE is surprising, given your country's reputation for being a place that knows how to party. I saw, first-hand, your knack for throwing a memorable bash back in 2004, when I was an 18-year-old college kid with a Jew-fro attending a Taglit Birthright Israel Mega Event. Ah, (blurry) memories.

For whatever reason, we Jews in America have a long tradition of caring about NYE. We care too much, maybe, but, still, no one can tell us we don't try to make NYE as fun and memorable as possible. Sometimes, Hashem smiles upon us and we find ourselves in the throes of a great night, in the arms of someone we love when the clock strikes midnight. Other times, we are not so lucky, and we are at Norm's on Pico boulevard drunkenly yelling at the waitress that we want old-fashioned maple syrup, not blueberry. Norm's, by the way, is pretty, pretty good–so, if you are ever in the neighborhood, for business, or pleasure, put it on the list.

The point is, I am uncomfortable with your discomfort. I think of you, Israel, as modern, secular and, well, western. When I read that, save for the nightclubs in Tel Aviv and the occasional hotel lounge champagne popping here and there, Israel does not make a big deal out of NYE, it makes all the people who tell me Israel is not as open minded as I think it is seem correct.

Perhaps I am making too big a thing of this. You don't get excited about NYE…so what, right? WRONG. There is no reason why throngs of people should not be shoulder-to-shoulder in Tel Aviv port, counting down to midnight on Dec. 31 like we do every year in New York City's Times Square and on the Vegas Strip. Even Los Angeles is doing it this year, apparently.

Imagine it, a countdown-to-NYE televised broadcast from Tel Aviv that airs on cable channels across the world. You want good publicity? Get Israel's biggest pop stars to perform on the show, and have a giant disco ball to drop, with a magen david glowing in neon on it, to drop from the sky. I am not kidding. Netanyahu should get Israel's Ministry of Culture and Sport on this venture, like, ASAP.

And I'll tell you what: You do this, and we will draw on our connections in Hollywood to provide you with a host for the show. Anybody you want. Although, if I may, I would like to nominate somebody: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He is, after all, the Tribe's version of Dick Clark.

Bring Gordon-Levitt into the mix, and you'll forget you ever had any reservations.

Your friend,

Ryan

An open to letter to Israel about New Years Eve Read More »

Queering Modern Thought

A new magnetic cycle has just come into our lives, with the Sun's magnetic polarity now reversed.  

Yup, on 12/30/13, the Sun flipped upside-down, as it were. 

This happens on an 11 and 22 year cycle; namely, in 2002 and 1991 we had another reversal of the sun.  

Why am I telling you this? 

Because we are in a time where old ideals, values and relationships are flipping.  In many instances, they are dissolving away as we as a People start to ground into our individual destinies.  

What does it mean? It means that modern thought, as we have come to know it, is being Queered, on a cosmic level. 

So, as you shed 2013, and the Old Self of the past, get ready to (dare I say “happily”) embrace the chaos that will be 2014… which will bring us all to higher vibrations of Self.

GET EXCITED! Chaos (or anything), when observed will eventually fade; that which we choose to “ignore” will always stay. 

Are you going to dive into your future? 

Or will you stay behind in the old? 

Queer your thought… because at this moment in our Lifetime, not even Physics is holding up in many cases.

 

…And that says a lot about the world We all are creating, and Can, Create. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Queering Modern Thought Read More »

A Jewish wish list for 2014

In no special order, here are 10 wishes for our community for the coming year:

1. A sukkah for every Jew. Seriously, is there any Jewish holiday cooler than Sukkot? And yet, most non-Orthodox Jews don’t build a sukkah to commemorate the desert journey of our ancestors. In recent years, this has started to change, as more and more Jews are partaking in this odd but powerful ritual. I hope the trend continues. There’s nothing like having a meal in a ramshackle hut to keep your life in perspective. 

2. Friday Nights Live. Why does “Friday Night Live” happen only once a month and in only one synagogue (Sinai Temple)? As I see it, Friday Night Live should be an attitude, not just an event. Jewish communities of all denominations ought to approach the entrance of Shabbat as a renewal of life. Services should come alive with fresh melodies; communities and families should reach out and invite guests to their Shabbat tables.  Just think: For one night a week, you get to turn off your smartphones and reconnect with everything that’s real. How do you beat that?

3. Take my rabbi, please. There are hundreds of rabbis in our community, each with a unique gift. Unfortunately, most of us never get to hear what they have to say. This is understandable: We attend the synagogues we belong to and listen to our own rabbis. Still, it’s a shame to miss out on this great diversity of thought. So, let’s pick one Shabbat a year and call it the Great Exchange — a day when every rabbi in town gets to speak in a different shul. Just the thought of an ultra-Orthodox rabbi speaking in an LGBT minyan — or an LGBT rabbi doing the reverse — is worth the price of admission.

4. Night of a million stories. Another budding ritual in the local Jewish scene is the “White Night” of Shavuot, when a growing number of Jews and assorted hipsters stay up all night to attend learning sessions. Here’s my pitch for what we ought to learn that night: the story of our people. I don’t mean biblical stories or stories of the Holocaust. I mean the extraordinary, nomadic story of Diaspora Jewry since the destruction of the Second Temple — from Persian and Sephardic stories to European and Ethiopian stories. As crazy as it sounds, our community offers hardly any education — in schools or in shuls — that honors the complicated and fascinating journeys of our ancestors. How can we instill “peoplehood” if we don’t know our own story? 

5. Calling all bubbes and zaydes. We talk a lot about the role of parents in Jewish education — but what about the role of grandparents? Who’s got more timeless wisdom than they do? I’d love to see Jewish day schools devote an hour a week to having students hear the wise tales of our community’s bubbes and zaydes

6. Six million victims, six million Torah classes. A poignant way of honoring the victims of the Shoah is to make the essence of Judaism — the Torah — thrive in their memory. I’d love to see Holocaust memorials offer Torah classes right on their premises. In addition, we ought to have every Torah class, wherever it is given, begin with these words: “This Torah class is dedicated to the memory of (fill in name) who perished in the year (fill in details).” 

7. Bring back the old Limmud. Limmud L.A. has morphed into Limmud Light. Instead of a big annual gathering of L.A. Jewry, we now have smaller events throughout the year. I have to say, I miss the old days, when hundreds of us would hang out for three days and nights in a vibrant, makeshift “neighborhood” and bond like no other time of year. I loved it precisely because it was such a non-L.A. experience.

8. Do the Chai Mitzvah. We know the old story — after the bar/bat mitzvah, many families vanish from synagogue life. And yet, the most important years in a kid’s life are between the ages of 13 and 18. As I’ve written previously, synagogues ought to tailor programming specifically for those five years, working toward a new life cycle called the Chai Mitzvah — when kids really need to become adults.

9. Let’s attract more converts. Why not share our tradition with those seeking a spiritual path? There are plenty of non-Jews who might be seriously and independently interested in Judaism, regardless of marriage. We ought to make our religion more inviting to these spiritual seekers. Let’s face it: As more and more Jews assimilate into the American melting pot, we could use a little reverse assimilation — the addition of new Jews who will be infinitely grateful for the blessings of our tradition.

10. Judaism that works for you. In the era of open choice, when doing anything “religious” is far from obvious, I’d love to see more programming that shows how Judaism can improve people’s lives — in areas such as relationships, parenting, money, health or even just plain happiness.

Now there’s an aspirational theme for our community: “Life, liberty and the pursuit of Judaism.”

Happy New Year.


David Suissa is president of TRIBE Media Corp./Jewish Journal and can be reached atdavids@jewishjournal.com.

A Jewish wish list for 2014 Read More »

‘The Wolf’ and the Jewish problem

“The Wolf of Wall Street” is nauseating, pornographic and soul-crushing — and you have to see it.

You have to see it, because you — meaning society, Jews, all of us as individuals — have to face the questions it raises about money, wealth and morality. 

Director Martin Scorsese is taking some heat for depicting Jordan Belfort as a likable rogue. Yes, Belfort lies, steals and snorts avalanches of coke off naked tushees, but he loves his dad, has a great run and, after all, he’s Leonardo DiCaprio.  A generation of young men will now flock to Wall Street aping Belfort, just as a generation of drug dealers took their cues from Al Pacino in “Scarface.”  

I don’t blame Scorsese. His genius is to examine society’s most grievous sins through its most colorful practitioners. True, he doesn’t show the effects of Belfort’s crimes on their victims — the families wrecked by financial loss and legal troubles, the people who fell for the cons and paid with their nest eggs. Then again, the movie is told entirely from Belfort’s point of view, and Scorsese and screenwriter Terence Winter probably assumed Belfort has never spent two seconds thinking about the human suffering he caused — unless it was his own.

[Related: DiCaprio defends ‘Wolf of Wall Street’]

But I do regret that Scorsese chose not to deal with the fact that Jordan Belfort is Jewish. Although some of the characters in “Wolf,” like Jonah Hill’s Donnie Azoff, are clearly portrayed as Jews, even to the point of wearing chai necklaces around their coke-frosted necks, Belfort, with his Anglo looks and Frenchy name, is left to be simply American. I get it: To do otherwise might give the movie a whiff of anti-Semitic caricature. Scorsese feels much safer depicting the Italian-ness of his violent mobsters than the Jewishness of his greedy con men.

But, just between us, let’s talk about Belfort-the-Jew — let’s go there. In the movie, you never really understand how someone so gifted can be so morally unmoored. But in his memoir, upon which the movie is based, whenever Belfort refers to his Jewish roots, the diagnosis becomes more apparent. 

He is a kid from Long Island. His dad, Max, grew up “in the old Jewish Bronx, in the smoldering economic ashes of the Great Depression.” Belfort didn’t grow up poor by any means, he just wasn’t rich enough. The hole in him wasn’t from poverty, but from desire for acceptance. The “blue-blooded WASPs,” Belfort writes, “viewed me as a young Jewish circus attraction.” 

Belfort had a chip on his shoulder the size of a polo pony, and so did everyone he recruited. They were, he writes, “the most savage young Jews anywhere on Long Island: the towns of Jericho and Syosset. It was from out of the very marrow of these two upper-middle-class Jewish ghettos that the bulk of my first hundred Strattonites had come….”

It’s not complicated, really. Poor little Jordan wanted to show those WASPs whose country clubs he couldn’t join that he was smarter, richer, better. What he failed to understand is that just about every Jew, every minority, shares the same impulses. But only a select few decide the only way to help themselves is to hurt others.   

Belfort, like Bernie Madoff, is an extreme example. These are guys who feel they have nothing, they are nothing, so they will do anything to acquire everything. They cross a pretty clear line and just keep going.

The question that gnaws at me is whether there’s something amiss in the vast gray area that leads right up to that line. Are the Belforts and Madoffs unnatural mutations, or are they inevitable outgrowths of attitudes that have taken root in our communities? We don’t, as a community, like to talk about money and wealth and how to acquire it and how to spend it. A Madoff affair happens — a crime that devastates thousands of people, businesses and philanthropies, many of them in the heart of the Jewish community — and we hardly speak about it anymore.  

These days, we are deep in the pit arguing over the American Studies Association’s (ASA) boycott of Israeli academics and whether Jewish students at Swarthmore College’s Hillel should open their doors to anti-Zionist speakers. We have devoted so many smart words and fiery sermons to these issues, you’d think the entire Jewish future depended upon them. Never mind that there are bridge clubs bigger than the ASA, and that the State of Israel, with its history, power and genius, may just survive the withering onslaught of a panel discussion in suburban Pennsylvania. The Jewish world never lacks for turbulent conversations. My only concern is whether they’re the right ones. Talking about Israel is easy — talking about money is uncomfortable.

But these are the conversations we need to be having. What’s the right way to make money? How much is enough? How much must we share, and with whom? We are blessed to be living at a time of unparalleled Jewish power and wealth, and it makes us so uneasy, we prefer to talk about everything but. We have benefited from an economic and political structure that is becoming less and less just. We are enjoying unprecedented wealth as millions struggle on minimum wages, facing hunger, unemployment, benefit cuts, homelessness. We look to our rabbis and institutions for guidance, but too many of them are afraid to upset the wealthy donors upon whom they are dependent. So we talk instead about Israel, about Swarthmore, and our communities become breeding grounds for the next Madoff, the next Belfort.

That’s not a movie. That’s a shame. 


Rob Eshman is publisher and editor-in-chief of TRIBE Media Corp./Jewish Journal. E-mail him at robe@jewishjournal.com. You can follow him on Twitter @foodaism.

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