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February 23, 2012

Ten Ways to Distinguish Yourself From a Hooker

A few weeks back, my boyfriend offered to pay my health insurance premiums.  I am unusually poor right now, which I’ve discovered doesn’t well suit me, so I have slowly been dwindling down what little savings I have to almost nothing.  Essentially, if I don’t sell a screenplay soon, I’ll either have to take his help or move back in with my parents or worse get a job as a lawyer.  My boyfriend is very supportive of my current career goals and so has offered in multiple ways to help me out financially.  Up till now, I’ve drawn a clear line in the sand.  I pay for my necessities (rent, utilities, and I’m sure a few other things).  He pays for pretty much everything else: eating out, seeing movies, taking trips, paying for cabs, ski lift tickets, drinks at bars, etc.

To my mind, this is a clear division.  If we broke up tomorrow, I’d still be able to subsist.  This allows me to remind myself, I’m not a hooker.  But I’m starting to think more and more about taking his money.  So if he does start paying my rent, have I crossed the line into the murky waters of prostitution?  I decided to look for signs.  Signs that I am not a ho.  And so, here is a list that perhaps you will find helpful too.

Ten Reasons I Know I’m Not a Hooker

  1. One Day, I’d Like to Support Him.
    He says he has no problem retiring early and taking care of kids.  I, on the other hand, think I have so much to say, I’ll probably be writing till I die.  So how many hookers are willing to say one day baby I’m gonna be paying you for sex.
  2. I Will Still Break Up With Him If He Cheats on Me.
    No matter what he’s paying for, I need fidelity in my relationship.  I’d rather be poor, than reverse-cuckolded.  Don’t know too many hookers that worry about getting cheated on by their clients.
  3. If He Stops Paying My Bills, I Will Still Date Him.
    What can I say?  I love him.  If he loses his job and we both have to start living out of our cars, I’d still want to be with him.  Do hookers work on credit?
  4. I Don’t Wear Stripper Heels in the Daytime.
    Hookers wear hooker clothes in the daytime.  Slutty girls wear hooker clothes at night.  Girlfriends wear hooker clothes in the bedroom and only on birthdays and anniversaries.
  5. He Might Ask Me to Pay Him Back.
    I’ve suggested that if he ever does start to help me, it would only be in the form of loan and I would repay him.  He laughed at this, calling it a bad investment, but nonetheless, he’d still reserve the right to ask for it back from me.  Do hookers give refunds when their clients move on to someone new?
  6. If I’m Not in the Mood, I’m Not in the Mood.
    If you take your prostitute up to the room and she tells you she’s too depressed about her career to make love, you should fire her.  I, however, have no compunction about taking the night off every once in a while.
  7. His Parents Gave Me a Christmas Gift.
    Actually, it was a Chanukkah gift but still, prostitutes may get gifts from their clients, but I doubt they get ones from their clients’ parents.
  8. Prostitutes Don’t Work When They’re Not With Their Client.
    I might go all week without seeing my boyfriend if both our work schedules get crazy.  But that doesn’t mean I get time off from being a girlfriend.  I still have to plan our social calendars for the weekend, write witty sexts, and remind him to buy our plane tickets.  My job never stops.
  9. Prostitutes Still Have to Pay Taxes.
    In the end, they got Heidi Fleiss on income tax evasion.  Hookers get paid to do a job and thus even though it’s an illegal job in most places, they still have to report that money as income.  I receive gifts and as long as the gifts are less than the annual exclusion, I have no income to report.
  10. Prostitutes Don’t Get to Win Every Argument.
    If you disagree with your boss about something, rightly or wrongly, he’s probably going to win in the end because he’s your boss.  Hookers don’t get to tell their clients too often how wrong they are.  Girlfriends on the other hand, are never wrong.


Tamara Shayne Kagel is a writer living in Santa Monica, CA. To find out more about her, visit” title=”@tamaraskagel.” target=”_blank”>@tamaraskagel. © Copyright 2011.

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Disabled adults find second family in group home

Tamir Appel scampers to his room to pull out a photo album of his latest trip to visit family in Israel.

He sets it on the dining room table, where some of his housemates are gathered to talk about their daily life at the Ryzman Family Group Home for Men in Valley Village, one of three run by the ” title=”Finding their place” target=”_blank”>Twentysomethings with special needs are mainstreaming themselves into independence


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Iran defiant as U.N. nuclear talks fail

The U.N. nuclear watchdog ended its latest mission to Iran after talks on Tehran’s suspected secret atomic weapons research failed, a setback likely to increase the risk of confrontation with the West.

The United States criticized Iran on Wednesday over the failure of the International Atomic Energy Agency’s latest mission, saying it again showed Tehran’s refusal to abide by its international obligations over its nuclear program.

Expressing defiance, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said Iran’s nuclear policies would not change despite mounting international pressure against what the West says are Iran’s plans to obtain nuclear bombs.

“With God’s help, and without paying attention to propaganda, Iran’s nuclear course should continue firmly and seriously,” he said on state television. “Pressures, sanctions and assassinations will bear no fruit. No obstacles can stop Iran’s nuclear work.”

A team from the Vienna-based IAEA had hoped to inspect a site at Parchin, southeast of Tehran, where the agency believes there is a facility to test explosives. But the IAEA said Iran “did not grant permission.”

The failure of the two-day visit by the IAEA could hamper any resumption of wider nuclear negotiations between Iran and six world powers – the United States, China, Russia, Britain, France and Germany – as the sense grows that Tehran feels it is being backed into a corner.

‘INTERNATIONAL OBLIGATIONS’

In Washington, White House spokesman Jay Carney also said the United States was continuing to evaluate Iran’s intentions after Tehran sent a letter to EU foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton last week, raising hopes for the prospects of renewed talks with world powers.

“This particular action by Iran suggests that they have not changed their behavior when it comes to abiding by their international obligations,” Carney told reporters, expressing U.S. disappointment that the IAEA mission had ended in failure.

Iran rejects accusations that its nuclear program is a covert bid to develop a nuclear weapons capability, saying it is seeking to produce only electricity.

As sanctions mount, ordinary Iranians are suffering from the effects of soaring prices and a collapsing currency. Several Iranian nuclear scientists have been killed over the past two years in bomb attacks that Tehran has blamed on its arch-adversary Israel.

In response, Iran has issued a series of statements asserting its right to self-defense and threatening to block the Strait of Hormuz, a vital oil tanker route.

The collapse of the nuclear talks came as Iran seems increasingly isolated, with some experts seeing the Islamic republic’s mounting defiance in response to sanctions against its oil industry and financial institutions as evidence that it is in no mood to compromise with the West.

Parliamentary elections on March 2 are expected to be won by supporters of Khamenei, an implacable enemy of the West.

The United States and Israel have not ruled out using force against Iran if they conclude that diplomacy and sanctions will not stop it from developing a nuclear bomb.

In Jerusalem, Israel’s Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman dismissed appeals by world powers to avoid any pre-emptive attacks against Iran’s nuclear program.

Lieberman said that “with all due respect I have for the United states and Russia, it’s none of their business. The security of Israel and its residents, Israel’s future, is the responsibility of Israel’s government.”

The failure of the IAEA’s mission may increase the chances of a strike by Israel on Iran, some analysts say.

But this would be “catastrophic for the region and for the whole system of international relations,” Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Gennady Gatilov said.

Referring to Iran’s role in the failure of the IAEA mission, French Deputy Foreign Ministry spokesman Romain Nadal said: “It is another missed opportunity. This refusal to cooperate adds to the recent statements made by Iranian officials welcoming the progress of their nuclear activities.”

In the view of some analysts, the Iranians may be trying to keep their opponents guessing as to their capabilities, a diplomatic strategy that has served them well in the past.

“But they may be overdoing the smoke and mirrors and as a result leaving themselves more vulnerable,” said professor Rosemary Hollis of London’s City University.

‘WAGING A WAR’

Iranian analyst Mohammad Marandi said providing the West with any more access than necessary to nuclear sites would be a sign of weakness.

“Under the current conditions it is not in Iran’s interest to cooperate more than is necessary because the West is waging a war against the Iranian nation,” he told Reuters.

Earlier, Iran’s envoy to the IAEA, Ali Asghar Soltanieh, said Tehran expected to hold more talks with the U.N. agency, but IAEA Director General Yukiya Amano’s spokeswoman said no further meetings were planned.

“During both the first and second round of discussions, the agency team requested access to the military site at Parchin. Iran did not grant permission for this visit to take place,” the IAEA said in a statement.

“It is disappointing that Iran did not accept our request to visit Parchin. We engaged in a constructive spirit, but no agreement was reached,” Amano said.

A Western official added: “We think that if Iran has nothing to hide, why do they behave in that way?”

Iran’s refusal to curb sensitive atomic activities which can have both civilian and military purposes and its record of years of nuclear secrecy have drawn increasingly tough U.N. and separate U.S. and European measures.

An IAEA report in November suggested Iran had pursued military nuclear technology. It helped precipitate the latest sanctions by the European Union and United States.

One key finding was information that Iran had built a large containment chamber at Parchin to conduct high-explosives tests. The U.N. agency said there were “strong indicators of possible weapon development”.

The IAEA said intensive efforts had been made to reach agreement on a document “facilitating the clarification of unresolved issues” in connection with Iran’s nuclear program.

“Unfortunately, agreement was not reached on this document,” it said in an unusually blunt statement on Wednesday.

Additional reporting by Dan Williams, John Irish, William Maclean and Matt Spetalnick; writing by Giles Elgood and Will Dunham; editing by Mohammad Zargham

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Raising Healthy Kids: Pre-packaged Snacks

As you probably know, I am a proud mom myself. Working with other busy moms, I get asked all the time: What if I don’t want to cook, but I still want to give my kids healthy choices?

No problem! The following quick snacks are excellent choices that support an active and a healthy lifestyle.

  • KIND bars
  • Lara bars
  • Kashi TLC bars
  • Luna bars
  • Low fat string cheese
  • Grapes
  • Carrots and Celery
  • Pretzels
  • Pop chips
  • Packaged dry green beans
  • Edamame
  • Snap Pea Crisps
  • Apple Crushers
  • Veggie chips
  • Organic fruit wrap
  • Individual trail mix (Avoid the ones with chocolate chips or M&M’s. Or make your own with unsweetened dried cranberries, sunflower seed kernels, honey, and nut flavor checked cereal.)
  • Individually packaged organic Apple sauce (They come in a variety of flavors including plain, berry and cinnamon, and pear. Make sure they say “No Sugar Added”!)
  • Mini packages of hummus

And if you are looking for other healthy and satisfying pre-packaged snacks for your kids to enjoy between meals, here are a few guidelines to follow:

  1. If you can’t pronounce it, do not allow them to eat it! READ the ingredients on the package before giving it to your kids. Some ingredients to stay away from: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar, Corn Sugar, Natural Flavor, Partially Hydrogenated Oils, and Corn Starch.
  2. The best and most healthful snack bars have at least 6 grams of protein, 3 grams of fiber, and less than 15 grams of sugar. I always recommend Kind, Lara and . They’re perfect on-the-go snacks for adults AND kids!
  3. Any packaged snack that is over 150 calories is too much. Stick to around 150 calories or less.
  4. Don’t be fooled by the cute little 100 calorie packs such as Oreo’s, packaged peanut butter crackers,Teddy grams, or cheese nips. They are loaded with enriched flour, salt, sugar, high fructose corn syrup and other artificial ingredients. Don’t compromise their health… your kids deserve better than that!
  5. Stay away from prepackaged fruit cups that feature “flavored fruit chunks in 100% juice”. That is just tricky terminology for MORE SUGAR! Fresh cut fruits and vegetables are always your best option, and they only require a few minutes to prepare.
  6. Give them Bananas! This sweet, yummy, and versatile fruit has so many benefits. Bananas are super inexpensive (about 35-40 cents a pound) and are loaded with Potassium, which is a mineral that helps maintain normal blood pressure and heart function. 1 medium banana contains a whopping 467 mg of Potassium!
  7. Serve water in place of sugary juices. Juicy juice has 26 grams of sugar in an 8oz glass, which equals about 6 1/2 teaspoons in one serving! Water will help your kids avoid a sugar rush, unnecessary weight gain, and most importantly: drinking water will help them POOP!
  8. Apples are an excellent quick snack and are full of fiber. Try to buy organic though, since non-organic apples contain about 111 pesticides.
  9. Always add the most important ingredient to any food you provide your children: L-O-V-E. When I prepare my daughter’s food, I do it with smile on my face. And at the end, right before I wrap it, I say: now I’m adding love and more love and more love. I’ve been doing this with her since she was 3 years old. One day, I was rushing and forgot to do it. Well, she looked at me with her arms crossed and her big blue eyes and said, “Mommy, did you forget to add something?” It really makes my whole day to know that SHE KNOWS how much I LOVE her and your kids will know it too!

Peace and Snack Time!
Sima

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From the mouths of the babes…

Somehow I’ve known all along that kids don’t stay kids for long (I know I’m a genius), but I didn’t expect to get ‘educated’ about various sexual subjects by a twelve-year-old boy.  More importantly… my twelve-year-old boy.  When this school year started, so did the questions, comments and many many talks about girls.  And recently he started to offer his version of what sex is, how and why it’s done.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy that he is talking about it at all and especially with me, however he seems to be not only extremely opinionated but also very confident in his understanding of sexual activities…  Today he announced that he understands why boys are always supposed to do nice things for girls, but you never see girls doing anything nice for the boys.  When I asked why that is he whispered: “Girls do nice things for the boys in the bedroom, Mom!”

Not only did I throw up in my mouth a little upon hearing this, I also decided that as much as I wanted to know where, how and who told him that, I probably should end the conversation instead…  Unfortunately for me, my son was not about to let it go as he continued to inform me that he is about to be a man (with his impending Bar Mitzvah coming up), and therefore has the right to talk about sex!  God help me.  So, I went ahead against my better judgement and asked where he heard that, to which he immediately replied: “My friend Michael!  He knows everything Mom”.

Oh well, when you got a friend like Michael… who needs proper sex education?

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2012 Los Angeles Herzog Wine Festival, a Night of Elegance and Sophistication

This year’s annual International Food & Wine Festival event promised to be even more alluring and more popular than last year’s, forcing the Herzog Winery to move the event from their facility in Oxnard to the Century City Hyatt in Los Angeles.  This year’s 2012 wine festival featured one hundred and fifty different wines from vineyards all over the world as well as an elaborate gourmet spread catered by the winery’s Tierra Sur restaurant, lead by executive chef Todd Aarons. The event promised to be as intoxicating as last year’s, and I was super excited as the day arrived.

Although I was interested in eating and drinking till my heart’s content, ( I am Jewish) I was more interested in finally learning the art of wine sampling and decided to experience the event with a well versed wine guide whose passion could finally teach me how to choose wine in the supermarket without judging thebottle by how pretty the label looks.

The mission, had I chosen to accept it, was to taste as many wines as I could handle and finally understand the nuances surrounded by this age old craft.  I was up for the daunting task of getting wasted if I had to, just to learn this art.

I was lucky enough to have an old friend from childhood to finally teach me the difference between tutti fruity with a dark chocolate finish and big and bold with a full bodied flavor.  Jonathan Tabak, a wine enthusiast, found his way to the festival as early as one o’clock in the afternoon to get a head start on experiencing the kosher collection.  What was funny about this arrangement was that Jonathan was my best friend’s kid brother growing up. He was that kid that insisted on getting into our play time.  To say we frequently ditched poor little Jonathan would have been putting it mildly.  I was older, wiser, and more sophisticated, yet here I was in unfamiliar territory relying on Stephanie’s kid brother to show me the ropes into elegance and sophistication.  I met Jonathan by the sliced pastrami and liver Pâté, which delicately sat on toasted crostini. While I downed the sweetbread taurine- a heart stopper with carrots, tongue, sweet bread and gelatina (Kosher of course) in one hand and the mergaz with tahini and micro cilantro toppled with pickled peppers in the other, Jonathan smiled revealing purple teeth. My wine guide, who used to insist on roleplaying as the head fireman, now has purple teeth and is going to teach me sophistication? Right!

With an adorable purple grin, Jonathan began our tour.  Our first stop was at the Shiloh’s table. The Shiloh Winery is located in the heart of the historic wine region in Israel.  I was intrigued to see if I could actually see any difference between their top-shelf blend, 2006 Mosaic, and their newest release, 2009 Secret Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon.  The tasting began.  I wasn’t completely idiotic, I knew to swirl, I knew to sniff, I even knew to how to taste. I was deeply impressed by Jonathan’s understanding of how to sense subtlety in flavor.  I downed every drink.  And as the night grew older I realized that I was actually seeing the difference between each wine and characterstics of their varietals (grapes).  I could actually taste the mint and basil notes in Shiloh’s Mosaic versus the black fruit in their Secret Reserve that Jonathan described as “bold and big”, a wine which I considered one of my favorites.  I was even able to detect bubble gum and cotton candy when sipping the Tulip White 2010, an eclectic blend of Sauvignon Blanc and Gewurztraminer, an experience that I never thought I would enjoy.  I always hated white wine, but suddenly I couldn’t get enough of it.  It also helped that there were coconut macaroons and yellow sorbet with candied lamb bacon that resembled a small plate of bacon and eggs to clean my palette with. When asked why Jonathan had decided to become an enthusiast – he even has a blog called “Kosherwino” – he replied, “When I was growing up all we had at our Shabbat table was that sweet Manishewitz syrupy wine that tasted like cough medicine going down…there had to be a better way of experiencing wine, and I decided to buy a different bottle each week to experiment with.  I now have a collection of over four hundred kosher wines and I love it!”

Jonathan continued our tour.  I was confused for unlike me, he had been drinking all night, all day really and he seemed completely sober and clearheaded.  Funny….

Suddenly this chick who couldn’t tell the difference between merlot and cabernet, was tasting the baker’s dark chocolate in the Pacifca’s 2010 Meritage, a merlot cab mix from Washington state. I even asked Jonathan if he noticed the prune finish, to which he replied…”Don’t say prune, that’s offensive, say plum.”  But I did taste plum right? “Oh Chava, you are becoming sophisticated! Yes you did!”  Yet with all my sophistication I was laughing a little too much and could hardly feel my toes.  Funny….

At the end of the evening after tasting, swirling, and sipping, we sauntered over to the final table which had my number one favorite wine of the evening, partly because of the flavor, and partly because of the wine maker who had the best line of the night.  Jurgen Wagner, a German native living in Barcelona, handed me the PerajHaabibFlor de Primavera 2008 and I became hooked.  Aged in French oak barrels added spicy and toasty flavor to the dark fruit character.  At $60 a bottle, I had finally become that snooty wine taster who had clearly attained expensive taste- a fact my husband was not surprised about. When asked why Jurgen, who is not Jewish would choose to sell Kosher wines, a task that is more difficult and more demanding, he said “Kosher is different from other wines, it is wine with a conscience.”

Upon leaving, Jonathan and I spotted a serious wine taster who looked over enthusiastic.  “Be careful what you ask him, he’s super serious, you don’t want to sound like an idiot…” Jonathan warned me. David Raccah is a heavyweight wine connoisseur, a wine-ninja of sorts.  His blog is called “Wine Musings” and after the evening, I didn’t want to seem lame.  So I asked the best question I could which was, “What was your favorite wine featured tonight?”

“I was really impressed with the Shiloh’s 2009 Secret Reserve,” he replied

“Ya it’s pretty bold and hard, isn’t it,” I said.

“Well yes, as a matter of fact, you could say that,” he responded.

Then David swirled, sniffed and put a full taste in his mouth and spit.  “Did he just do that…,” I asked Jonathan.  Why is he spitting…what’s wrong with him?  “Chava, you know you’re not supposed to swallow every sample, right- or you’ll get drunk!”

“No actually, I didn’t know that.”  But then again, you don’t become sophisticated all in one night.

Lucky for me I don’t have to wait a whole year to evolve into sophistication.  The Herzog Winery in Oxnard has ongoing smaller wine tasting events all year long as well as a wine shop and their stellar restaurant, Tierra Sur, that I plan on making my way to with my new cultivated incredibly brillant and way more sophisticated, Jonathan in the very near future. Kid brother or not, Jonathan Tabak knows his stuff!

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Dowd: Santorum a ‘small-town mullah’ who wants to ban contraceptives

Many Christians are scared of Mitt Romney’s Mormon faith, but Maureen Dowd argues that we should all be really, really afraid of “Rick’s Religious Fanaticism.” Rick, of course, would be Rick Santorum. Calling him a “small-town mullah,” ” title=”what he thinks about how gay marriage” target=”_blank”>what he thinks about how gay marriage affects children.

But Dowd’s main concern seems to be the threat that Santorum poses to a woman’s right to choose … to use contraceptives. She refers specifically to his declaration that Dowd: Santorum a ‘small-town mullah’ who wants to ban contraceptives Read More »

February 23, 2012

Hamas Comes in from the Cold

The world must respond positively to apparent signs that Hamas is moderating its position, writes Michael Bröning for Project Syndicate.

For the West, using the opportunity to influence Hamas’s future course requires modifying the failed policy of all-encompassing rejection. As in Egypt, Morocco, and Tunisia, Islamist moderates in the Palestinian territories need to be engaged as a legitimate political force. Leaders such as Mashal, who has expressed a readiness to forsake alliances with Syria and Iran and to accept a two-state solution with Israel, should be bolstered rather than boycotted. That means supporting the ongoing effort to form an interim Palestinian government of technocrats, as stipulated in the Qatar agreement.

Friendship Under Fire

Writing in Foreign Policy, David Makovsky says the Iranian nuclear crisis means Obama and Netanyahu must move past their strained relationship.

Israeli considerations of a strike are rooted not in their ethos of self-reliance, but in the fear that the United States will ultimately fail to strike, even if sanctions fail. Israeli officials’ fears are compounded by their knowledge that the American people are fatigued by conflict, and by the suspicions of some that the United States has not entirely ruled out a strategy of containment, U.S. protestations to the contrary.

The Playbook for an Israeli Airstrike on Iran’s Nuclear Facilities

John Hudson of The Atlantic presents a comprehensive round-up of theories and speculation on how Israel would carry out its threatened attack in Iran.

One of the main targets, and most difficult, is the underground plant near the city of Qom. On Monday, the BBC reported that Iran is poised to expand its nuclear site in Qom, installing thousands of new centrifuges at the plant. According to The Times, the underground site is going to call for American-made GBU-28 5,000-pound bunker buster bombs to destroy the facilities.

Egypt Stands to Lose More Than Aid

The United States must take a strong stand against the arrests of 16 of its nationals by Egyptian authorities, argues Stephen McInerney in Foreign Affairs.

In both private conversations and public statements, Pentagon and State Department officials who have recently visited Egypt and discussed the crisis describe the generals as initially incredulous that such a minor issue (in their view) could actually threaten the aid package. U.S. officials attest that they have been successful since in conveying how potentially explosive the issue could be, but it is unclear how much that has changed anyone’s thinking in Cairo.

This house believes that military intervention in Syria would do more harm than good

The Economist holds a live debate on military intervention in Syria, with Ed Husain of the Council on Foreign Relations and Shadi Hamid of the Brookings Doha Center.

The immediate priority is to stop the loss of life on both sides in the conflict in Syria. The best guarantee of that is to allow Russian, French and British diplomats to work together to broker a ceasefire with immediate effect.

February 23, 2012 Read More »