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Jewish Journal

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January 4, 2012

Remembering Kim Jong-Il’s victims

Leave a Comment / News, Opinion /

The pictures accompanying the news of the leadership change in North Korea are those of the dead dictator, Kim Jong-Il, and his son and heir apparent, Kim Jong-Un.

But there are some other Koreans whose names and photos, though absent from the front pages, tell the real story.

Ri Hyon Ok was a 33-year-old mother of three who was publicly executed by the North Korean government on June 16, 2009, for the crime of giving away Bibles. Her husband and children were banished to North Korea’s vast political prison system the day after she was killed.

Son Jong Nam was tortured by North Korean authorities and imprisoned for three years, from 2001 to 2004. He lost 70 pounds while in captivity and emerged walking with a permanent limp. Arrested again in 2006 after police found Bibles at his home, he was sentenced to death by firing squad.

Soon Ok Lee is a survivor of the Kaechon prison camp. She testified on April 30, 2003, at a hearing of the House Subcommittee on International Terrorism, Nonproliferation, and Human Rights that women political prisoners in North Korea “were unconditionally forced to abort because the unborn baby was also considered a criminal by law.” She testified, “Women in their eighth or ninth month of pregnancy had salt solutions injected into their wombs to induce abortion. In spite of these brutal efforts, some babies were born alive, in which case the prison guards mercilessly killed the infants by squeezing their necks in front of their mothers. The dead babies were taken away for biological tests. If a mother pleaded for the life of her baby, she was publicly executed under the charge of ‘impure ideology.’ ”

Kang Chol Hwan is another survivor of the North Korean prison camps. He met with President George W. Bush in the Oval Office in June 2005. He’s spoken of how when one prisoner was hanged, “Thousands of prisoners were made to form one line and passed by the hanged person and threw stones at the dead body, shouting, ‘Let’s get rid of the people’s traitor.’ And because of throwing so many stones by thousands of prisoners, the faces and muscles were all torn up. Some women with weak heart, they didn’t obey and didn’t throw the stone. Then the officers condemned them, saying your ideology is doubtful. And beat them.”

And those are just a few whose names are known in the West. As the American special envoy for human rights in North Korea stated in a January 2009 report, “The names and stories of most of the approximately 200,000 political prisoners in North Korea are unknown outside of the country.”

President Barack Obama’s press secretary reacted to the news of Kim Jong-Il’s death with a statement about American commitment “to stability on the Korean peninsula, and to the freedom and security of our allies.” Very nice, but our allies are already free. How about some freedom for the North Koreans, or a recognition that North Korea’s “stability” isn’t much consolation if you are about to be executed for having a Bible in your home? Not to mention that the hundreds of North Korean experts reportedly helping Iran’s nuclear missile program aren’t exactly adding to “stability.”

Jay Lefkowitz, who served from 2005 to 2009 as United States Special Envoy on Human Rights in North Korea, recommends making future food aid to North Korea conditional on Pyongyang’s first de-nuclearizing and opening up North Korean society. Otherwise, we’d just be feeding the North Korean military and the guards in those political prisons.

Mr. Lefkowitz said to me about Kim Jong-Il’s death: “This is a real opportunity.”

Here’s hoping that America and other powers with influence in the region seize the opportunity. The alternative is who-knows-how-many-more horribly grim tales from the North Korean gulag.

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Amid memories, cemetery documentary imparts lesson of Jewish survival

Leave a Comment / Culture, Entertainment, Leisure, News /

The Weissensee Jewish Cemetery is 130 years old and has survived the kaiser’s imperial Germany, the Weimar Republic, and, astonishingly, the Nazi regime.

It is the largest active Jewish cemetery in Europe and adds daily to the 115,600 graves on its 100-acre grounds in northeast Berlin.

Offhand, such a site seems an unlikely focus for a 90-minute documentary, but German director Britta Wauer has used her subject as a lively historical guide to Berlin’s Jewry from 1880 to the present.

Even more, “In Heaven, Underground” introduces us to the descendants of the cemetery’s inhabitants as they return from Israel and all corners of the Diaspora to pay respects to their recent and distant ancestors.

Harry Kinderman, whose father worked as a bricklayer at Weissensee, remembers the heavily forested site as an enchanted playground. There Harry and his schoolmates played soccer on the Field of Honor, where many of the 12,000 Jewish soldiers who died for their fatherland in World War I are buried.

Most remarkable is the survival of the cemetery during the Nazi regime, when the storm troopers left the gravestones and extensive archives untouched.

Local legend has it that the brownshirts feared the presence of a protective Golem, but a less fanciful explanation is that the Nazis didn’t get around to destroying the place.

Another threat was a long-standing plan to build an expressway through the forested heart of the cemetery, but the plan was put off by one municipal administration after another.

Overseeing the spiritual, and many of the practical, aspects of the place is Rabbi William Wolff. He proves to be real character, confirming again that in dialect and attitude, native Berliners are the German equivalent of Brooklyn homeboys and girls.

The rabbi explains the importance of sliding a coffin smoothly into the grave and observes that a well-conducted funeral is more important than a wedding ceremony, because “you can help the people more.”

Over the decades, business at the cemetery held pretty steady, except during two dark periods. One was in 1942 and 1943, when Berlin Jews facing deportation committed suicide in large numbers.

Another was during the Soviet occupation of postwar eastern Germany, when the Berlin Wall cut off the Weissensee cemetery from the more populous Jewish community in West Berlin.

Also, the cemetery was largely neglected during the communist era; weeds sprouted on the grounds and the facilities fell into disrepair.

As if to compensate for this neglect, after Russia opened its borders to Jewish emigration, Berlin’s Jewish population expanded rapidly, to the point that Russian émigrés now make up more than 70 percent of the capital’s Jewish community.

For Germans wishing to show their remorse for the crimes of their fathers, the cemetery has become a focal point. Groups of German military reservists show up regularly to perform volunteer maintenance, and students from a nearby high school come to make rubbings of the gravestone inscriptions and to learn the meaning of sitting shivah.

There are other visitors, such as two German researchers taking an inventory of the birds of prey, who find the jungle-like enclave in the middle of the city an ideal venue for their pursuit.

But most of the visitors are descendants of Berlin Jews, seeking some reconnection with their forebears.

After living 30 years in New York, Berlin-born Baruch Bernard Epstein returned to discover, amid tears, the grave of his grandmother.

Daniel Hakerem was born in Israel, the son of German-Jewish refugees. Visiting Weissensee, he, too, found the grave of his grandmother.

Also making an appearance is a group of Israeli soldiers, joined by German troops to pay their respects.

And so the tradition continues in the country once destined to be Judenrein, while a film tackling what could have been a rather morbid subject turns into an affirmation of survival and hope.

“In Heaven, Underground” opens Jan. 13 at Laemmle’s Town Center in Encino.

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Promoting men’s Jewish engagement

Leave a Comment / California, Community, News /

Rabbi Charles Simon, a recent visiting lecturer at American Jewish University (AJU), asked rabbinical students how they would deal with a future intermarriage. One young rabbi-to-be said he’d welcome the couple … then tell them that, unfortunately, he couldn’t marry them. Simon, clearly taken aback, answered quickly: “No, don’t tell them that. Don’t ever approach things from a negative point of view, especially with a couple who want to be part of your synagogue. … We shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that we’re a diverse community united in a common goal — to find meaning in Jewish life.”

Simon is executive director of the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs (FJMC), an auxiliary arm of the Conservative movement, and he talked about intermarriage because it’s a key element of his overriding concern: how to increase men’s involvement in synagogue life, including men who are intermarried. Simon, who’s 62 and lives in Manhattan, became head of FJMC more than 30 years ago, after receiving his rabbinic ordination from New York’s Jewish Theological Seminary.

During his recent swing through Southern California, in addition to talking with AJU students, Simon also met with several rabbis and their staffs, discussing the changing nature of men’s place in society, the effects of that change on Jewish institutions, and offering his suggestions about how to try to reverse what to him is a worrisome trend. In a monograph called “The Diminishing Role of Jewish Men in Jewish Life: Addressing the Challenge,” Simon’s conclusion, based on studies as well as anecdotal evidence, is that “Jewish boys and Jewish men are drifting to the fringes of the organized Jewish community and are beginning to disappear on its borders.”

Simon points out that the decreasing role of men in Jewish life parallels what’s happening in American secular life, and it’s “not an encouraging picture.” Women are more engaged in academia than their male counterparts. They “study longer and harder [than men] and … are becoming more successful in the workplace. Women study [while] men play video games. Men are rapidly becoming the second gender.”

Synagogues are experiencing a parallel phenomenon: a growing gender imbalance, as evidenced by the declining rate of male volunteerism in synagogue institutions. He urges synagogue leaders to take steps to try to correct that situation, such as by getting men to join a synagogue-affiliated men’s club in order to “engage men more actively in Jewish life.” 

“We’ve intensified our reach-out to our clubs and encourage the men’s clubs to hold what we call ‘Hearing Men’s Voices’ sessions,” Simon said in an interview. In these events, topics have included men’s spiritual lives, their health issues, men’s role in the Jewish family, and the place of work in men’s lives.

“While one of our primary goals is to service and build men’s clubs in Conservative synagogues,” Simon said, “we’re beginning to serve as the voice of Jewish men.” Simon added that FJMC now has 350 men’s clubs, with some 30,000 men participating.

Simon believes synagogue leaders need to “engage men at any age, whether married and with infants, or whether they have adult children who are no longer living at home.”

He listed some ways to reach out to men at these different stages. The father of a young toddler often feels the urge to put the child over his head and throw him or her around. “The mother’s instinct,” Simon said, “is to say, ‘Don’t do that, you’re going to drop them.’ ” But, Simon said, the father’s behavior is not only wired into men’s DNA, it’s also useful. “When a toddler is picked up, what the father is teaching the child is how to become comfortable with their bodies and how to take risks.”

Simon’s point is that when a wife warns her husband about holding a child aloft, this shouldn’t necessarily be the cue for him to stop the activity, but rather an opening to engage his wife in a discussion. “The husband can say, ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to drop her.’ ”

This kind of advice is normal in any men’s group — Jewish or not — where men assure one another that their male instincts, in spite of what women may say, are natural and healthy. Whether this strategy draws men into synagogue life remains to be seen.

Another example has to do with men who have adult children. “I have a bunch of 50-, 60-year-old men right now, who six months ago started texting their adult sons and daughters, adult children living all over the place, ‘Shabbat shalom’ on a regular basis. Never did this in their entire life, and all of a sudden, they’re getting responses. And when the kids say, ‘Why are you doing this, Dad?’ And they say, ‘Because this is important for me,’ at that point the fathers realize that they still have influence in the Jewish decisions that their children will make.

“The connection of Jewish men to Jewish life is loosening,” Simon said. In the future, “There is an increasing risk of fewer men identifying Jewishly.” By using the men’s clubs to provide men with helpful strategies, with welcome information about important issues like intermarriage, with a forum where their voices can be heard at every stage of their lives, Simon hopes to “alter the current trend of diminishing male involvement.”

FJMC’s current outreach initiative, Simon said, “is really in the start-up stage. For years, people have been saying, ‘Where are the men? What’s going on with the men?’ But no one’s come up with a constructive way to understand what’s going on with the men, generally, and how to motivate and attract and engage men so that they can make more conscious decisions in a Jewish way at any stage in their lives.”

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Pico Iyer unravels his mind’s shadows

Leave a Comment / Books, Culture, Leisure, News /

Pico Iyer conjures up Graham Greene in the title of his new book, “The Man Within My Head” (Knopf: $25.95), and that’s why it caught my attention. Greene is a writer
whom I have read with admiration and pleasure, over and over again, throughout my adult life. Iyer, too, sparked my interest years ago with his travel memoir, “Video Night in Kathmandu,” and I have been following (and reviewing) him ever since. 

Iyer seeks to understand and explain Greene in “The Man Within My Head,” but he has created something different — something much deeper and more resonant — than a tribute to a famous writer. Indeed, more than one man is to be found inside Iyer’s head, and the book is as much a confession by Iyer himself as it is a paean to a great British novelist whose eye and imagination were always drawn to exotic locales.

Iyer, too, practices a kind of literary globalism. His parents were distinguished Indian philosophers, and Iyer himself was born in Britain, raised in Santa Barbara, educated at English boarding schools and, later, at Oxford and Harvard, and he now lives in Japan. He has long reported from foreign datelines for Time, The New York Times and other periodicals. As we learn in “The Man Within My Head,” the restlessness that prompts and suffuses Iyer’s work is deeply imprinted.

“I always felt happy being alone, and so long as I was loose in the world, uncompanioned, I was never bored or at a loss,” he writes. “If you grow up between cultures, if you get accustomed to traveling, it’s easy to find yourself always on the outside of things, looking in.”

Like Greene’s, Iyer’s books, both fiction and nonfiction, are rooted in his travels and sojourns in distant places, and he is intrigued and provoked by the most intimate needs and demands of the people he encounters there. “Graham Greene is often taken to be the patron saint of the foreigner alone, drifting between certainties,” Iyer acknowledges. “God hovers everywhere around the scene, but usually, like many a love, He is known only by His refusal to do what we want most.”

Greene serves as an object of study and contemplation in “The Man Within My Head,” a source of inspiration and a moral touchstone for Iyer, both as a writer and as a human being. Thus, for example, when Iyer describes an ambiguous encounter with a woman in La Paz —she laughs, puts her hand on his arm, and when she smiles at him, he wonders “what she was smiling at, or for” — Iyer seeks to explain it all by reference to Greene.

“In Graham Greene books such equivocal partnerships may be all that we can hope for; in a world where there are no absolutes, a qualified friendship based on your lack of illusions in the other (and in yourself) may be the only thing you can really trust,” Iyer explains. “In life, however, I’m not sure how much anyone is really happy on such uncertain ground.”

So Iyer is a critic rather than a hagiographer when it comes to Greene, and he is measured in his praise. “He was a professional writer of fiction, yet Greene was never one to lie to himself,” Iyer writes. “That was what commanded respect even when I couldn’t give him affection; he looked unblinkingly at precisely the shadows in the self (and in the world) that most of us try to look away from, drilling, as a dentist might, into the most tender and infected spaces because that was where the trouble lay.”

Indeed, Iyer confesses that his “sense of Greene was burned to the ground” when he encountered the previously unpublished letters that the novelist had written to one of his many paramours. “The words themselves are as reckless and even generic as those of the novelist Greene, measuring out his five hundred words a day, are drily precise and melancholy,” Iyer writes. “It was like seeing the soul, intimate and beseeching, emerge from behind the personality.”

Then, too, as Iyer allows us to glimpse the inner reaches of his own soul, we come to understand that Greene is not the only ghost who haunts him. “Who are these figures who take residence inside our heads, to the point where we can hear their voices even when we’re trying to make contact with our own?” he muses, and we begin to see that a whole cast of characters, including his own father, are keeping company with Greene in Iyer’s imagination.

Iyer also allows us to see the origins and workings of the sense of irony that suffuses his own writing. For example, when Iyer visits Vietnam — the scene of Greene’s “The Quiet American,” which Iyer describes as “all but the heart of [Greene’s] doctrine and his work” — Iyer shows us the cultural victory that America managed to win even after suffering a defeat on the field of battle. For anyone who has already encountered Iyer’s travel writing, it is a signature moment.

“From underground bars, where shy Japanese couples were sipping ‘Girl Scout Cookies’ and Lynchburg Lemonades, ‘Layla’ drifted up into the tropical night, and Jefferson Airplane songs from the Woodstock era,” he writes. “The French war, the American war, the war against the Khmer Rouge had come and gone, and yet Saigon was really not so different from the place Greene had first visited in 1951.”

Inevitably, “The Man Within My Head” says more about Iyer than about Greene. To be sure, it is a lens through which we can re-examine Greene’s work, but we can apply the same lens to Iyer’s writing, as well. Thus, for example, it is Iyer’s credo, rather than Greene’s, that we are offered in a passage about the brushfires that threatened Iyer’s childhood home in the hills above Santa Barbara. “The only lesson the fire taught was that you never know what will happen next,” he writes. “[O]ur destinies can unravel even as we think we’re writing them.”

Above all, Iyer’s rich and provocative book invites us see the world in which we find ourselves today in a new and revealing light, and that’s the real measure of his accomplishment. “A writer is a palmist, reading the lines of the world,” Iyer says of Greene, but he could be describing himself just as well.

Pico Iyer unravels his mind’s shadows Read More »

CSU system debates restarting Israel study abroad programs

Leave a Comment / California, Community, Is Featured?, News /

During the past few months, top California State University administrators, who oversee 23 campuses with 420,000 students, were spending a good deal of time wrestling with upcoming draconian state budget cuts and protesting students, yet they set aside some time to consider whether the largest four-year college system in the United States should restart its study abroad program in Israel.

CSU shut down the program in 2002, during the height of the Second Intifada, citing U.S. State Department warnings against travel to Israel.

But now, with relative quiet in Israel, and under considerable pressure from Jewish organizations, student groups, legislators and even Israeli diplomats, CSU seemed on the verge of announcing a resumption of the Israel program.

Not everyone applauded the new attitude. In early December, a petition in the form of an Open Letter landed on the desk of CSU Chancellor Charles Reed, under the boldface header, “We strongly urge you not to reinstate the CSU Israel Study Program Abroad.”

The petition had been signed by some 81 faculty members, nearly half from the university’s Northridge campus (CSUN), as well as 46 students and alumni. Among the signatories were a number of deans and department chairs, as well as Harry Hellenbrand, who at the time was CSUN’s provost, vice president for academic affairs and the campus’ second-highest administrator.

On Jan. 1, Hellenbrand was named the interim president of the campus, following the recent retirement of its president, Jolene Koester. (Under the CSU nomenclature, the head of the entire system is the chancellor, while each campus is led by a president — the reverse of the University of California designations.)

The chief organizer of the petition, as of most anti-Israel activity on campus, was David Klein, a veteran mathematics professor at the school. Klein’s Web site on the CSUN server is a compendium of just about every charge ever leveled against Israel, starting with the quote “Israel is the most racist state in the world at this time.”

Not surprisingly, Klein has been the bête noire of pro-Israel groups for some years, and the petition — which also warned that American students might be killed by Israeli soldiers or face discrimination if of Arab descent — stoked the anger.

CSU’s announcement in mid-December that the study program in Israel would be resumed with the 2012 fall semester at the University of Haifa, did little to lower the level of acrimony. (Asked why the Hebrew University or Tel Aviv University is not included in the program, CSU spokesman Erik Fallis cited security considerations.)

One of the first formal outside complaints against Klein’s Web site came to CSUN President Koester in late November from Leila Beckwith, a professor emerita and child psychologist at UCLA, who wrote in conjunction with Tammi Rossman-Benjamin, a lecturer in Hebrew and Jewish studies at UC Santa Cruz. The two recently co-founded the Amcha Initiative, described as a grassroots Jewish organization focusing on problems of public higher education.

Amcha’s charges were quickly reinforced by two other organizations, StandWithUs and the Zionist Organization of America (ZOA).

A series of phone interviews, e-mail exchanges and correspondence made available by the university to The Jewish Journal yielded a general outline of the evolving dispute.

In the first round of e-mail exchanges, Amcha, StandWithUs and ZOA focused on Klein’s “anti-Semitic and anti-Israel Web pages,” citing the “most racist state” quote, alongside “gruesome photos of dead children to imply that Israel intentionally murders Palestinian babies.”

As a follow-up, the pro-Israel groups argued that, while Klein was free to express his ideas, “however abhorrent,” as an individual, he was violating university regulations and the law by posting his material on the CSU server.

He was thus not only implying the university’s imprimatur for his opinions, but also using taxpayers’ funds in the process, the critics charged.

In response, Koester wrote that a full administrative review found that while Klein’s views might be offensive, he had the academic freedom and free-speech rights to express his opinions.

She also affirmed that Klein’s rights “extend to the use of an individual’s Web pages as part of the university’s Web site.”

Amcha and ZOA shot back challenging the use of the CSUN Web site for “political propaganda,” and Roz Rothstein, CEO of StandWithUs, said in an interview that she would explore the possibility of taking legal action.

For her part, Rossman-Benjamin received in response to a lengthy memo to Koester listing a series of objections, a curt e-mail consisting of just two words — “Too bad” — followed by Koester’s initials.

This seemingly contemptuous reply from the school’s then-president quickly made the rounds of CSUN’s critics, until Koester hastily drafted a somewhat awkward apology. She explained that she had sent the message from her cell phone while traveling, intending to forward the information to her staff, but had accidentally pressed “reply” instead of the “forward” button.

“The comment ‘too bad’ was meant to express to internal staff regret about the controversy and the distress it had caused,” Koester wrote. “It was not a comment directed at you … and was not intended to disrespect or dismiss either you or your point of view.”

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Financial exec Rubin pleads guilty

Leave a Comment / California, Community, News /

David Rubin, chairman of the board of Yavneh Hebrew Academy in Hancock Park and president of YULA girls’ high school, pleaded guilty in federal court in New York on Dec. 30 to wire conspiracy and fraud involving proceeds from municipal bonds. Beverly Hills-based CDR Financial Products, which Rubin founded and runs, pleaded guilty to related antitrust charges.

Rubin, 50, could face a sentence of up to 20 years in prison and millions of dollars in fines. CDR could face a fine of $100 million. Rubin will be sentenced April 27.

Rubin had been scheduled to go to trial in New York on Jan. 3. He had asked U.S. District Judge Victor Marrero to delay the trial so he could care for his wife, Gitel, who has pancreatic cancer. The Rubins, who live in Hancock Park, have seven children, ranging in age from 2 to 24.

When the judge denied the request for a continuance and Rubin lost that motion again on appeal, Rubin opted to plead guilty so he could be home focusing on his family rather than in New York for the trial.

According to a close friend who declined to be identified, Rubin has maintained his innocence throughout the legal proceedings, and had wanted to stand trial to fight the charges. But friends and family convinced him to agree to a plea that will likely keep Rubin out of prison.

At the end of the hearing, when the judge wished Rubin’s wife well, Rubin burst into tears, the friend said.

CDR had developed a niche as a broker helping state, county and local agencies invest money raised from bonds.

In pleading guilty, Rubin admitted that, from 1998 to 2006, his Beverly Hills-based firm awarded lucrative contracts to investment management firms that paid CDR. Prosecutors said CDR did not run a fair, competitive bidding process, but instead channeled information that would aid money managers who paid to play, according to the Department of Justice. CDR also solicited intentionally losing bids, and signed certifications that contained false statements regarding whether the bidding process complied with relevant Treasury Department regulations, according to a statement from the Department of Justice.

The actions cost taxpayers money because the contracts did not always go to the firms that would offer the best returns, according to the Justice Department.

Rubin’s attorney could not be reached for comment, but Rubin’s friend said the case is complex and involves a government sweep of an industry that for years has been operating according to widely held practices.

Rubin had been confident he could beat the charges, the friend said.

Rubin, along with Zevi Wolmark, the former chief financial officer and managing director of CDR, and Evan Zarefsky, a vice president of CDR, were indicted in October 2009. Wolmark and Zarefsky began trial on Jan. 3.

“Mr. Rubin and his company engaged in fraudulent and anticompetitive conduct that harmed municipalities and other public entities,” said Sharis A. Pozen, acting assistant attorney general in charge of the Justice Department’s Antitrust Division. “Today’s guilty pleas are an important development in our continued efforts to hold accountable those who violate the antitrust laws and subvert the competitive process in our financial markets.”

Rubin is the 10th individual to plead guilty in an ongoing federal investigation into the $3.7 trillion municipal bonds industry, under President Barack Obama’s interagency Financial Fraud Enforcement Task Force that coordinates the efforts of the Department of Justice, the FBI and the IRS.

So far, the Justice Department has filed charges against 18 former executives of financial-services firms. With Rubin, 10 have pleaded guilty. JPMorgan Chase, USB, Wells Fargo and GE have paid $743 million in restitution and penalties.

Rubin has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to Democratic candidates in the past decade. He was a fellow of the Wexner Heritage Foundation in the late 1990s and has been an activist and philanthropist in the area of Jewish education. He was the driving force behind moving Yavneh into the former Whittier Law School building on Third Street and Las Palmas Drive in 1998, and improving the school’s academic and religious standards. He also has been involved in revitalizing the lay leadership at YULA girls’ school. Friends estimate that over the last 10 years, he has given more than $10 million to Jewish institutions.

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Unloading the emotional U-Haul: Parashat Vayechi (Genesis 47:28-50:26)

Leave a Comment / Is Featured?, Judaism, News, Torah /

A funeral director once said, “In all the funerals I’ve attended, I have yet to see a hearse with a U-Haul trailer attached.” But while it’s true that “you can’t take it with you,”meaning material possessions, I’m not so sure about emotional possessions. How many of us have walked behind a casket where lay the body of a relative or friend with whom we were still talking? Or, wrenchingly, with whom we never had the conversation we meant to have?

This week’s Torah portion, Vayechi — “And he lived” — ironically starts out with one of the longest death scenes in Torah, as the 147-year-old Jacob prepares to die. The cryptic blessings he gives to his 12 sons must have left them with as many unanswered questions as they leave us.

Is “blessing” even the right word for what Jacob says to each son? Jacob begins by saying, “I will tell you what will come to you in the end of days” (Genesis 49:1), and then offers each son words that seem part blessing, part fortune-cookie fortune, and part description of what each son has done or is like — their nature or what animal they resemble (“Judah is a lion cub”). Truly poetic, the passage ends:

“All these are the tribes of Israel — twelve — and this is what their father spoke to them, and he blessed them; each one according to his blessing he blessed them” (Genesis 49:28)
“Each according to his blessing.” Certainly, each son is different from the others, and finally here, if not all along during their shared long lives, Jacob acknowledges that he sees each one differently.

But what happens when a conversation — a blessing — is one-sided, like these from Jacob to his sons? “I will tell you what will come to you.” Be it unrelenting expectation or its opposite — chronic disappointment — what room is there for growth or change once their father’s “blessing” is set down for eternity? The blessings are likely to be mixed — just consider the emotional baggage those sons must have carried when they returned from burying a manipulative father who played favorites.

Perhaps, like us, our sages were wary of the constriction of such specific blessings, for in recent centuries the tradition derived from this Torah portion relies on an earlier moment in Vayechi when Jacob blesses Joseph’s sons. The Jewish tradition of blessing our sons as Shabbat begins each Friday night recalls these words of Jacob: “By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying: May God make you like Ephraim and Menasheh” (Genesis 48:20).

At our congregation on Friday nights, we offer a blessing for family, and we include in it the blessing of children by contemporary liturgist Marcia Falk: “Be who you are, and may you be blessed in all that you are.” Falk explained her choice to respond to — but ultimately leave behind — the traditional blessing for sons by saying:

“Why Ephraim and Menasheh, one cannot help but wonder — indeed, why any particular ancestors at all? … Why should we wish for a child to be anything other than her or his best self? … Yet letting a child be herself, himself — letting go of expectations that do not emerge from the reality of who the child is — is one of the hardest lessons parents have to learn.” Then she adds a hope for parents that in the framework of the onset of the Sabbath, a time in which “we let go of strivings and take note of the world’s abiding gifts,” that “we pay special attention to the children in our midst, thankful for their being, accepting of who they are, hopeful that they will blossom into their best selves” (Falk, “The Book of Blessings,” p. 450-51).

On the way to unloading the emotional U-Haul, our congregational prayer for family also adds a few hopes for family members in general, whatever ages, however we came to call them family: “May we reach out to them and hold them; may we say the words we need to say to one another; may we feel the love we have for them, and they for us. Dear God, in whatever way it comes into our lives, we give thanks for the blessing of family.”

And this week, as we complete this year’s reading of the Book of Genesis, we add another traditional blessing: khazak, khazak, v’nitkhazek, “be strong, be strong, and let us strengthen one another.”

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My Single Peeps: Sarica C.

Leave a Comment / Culture, Is Featured?, My Single Peeps, News, Singles /

I’ve become fascinated with meeting single peeps who are only children. Sarica is one of them. Whatever negatives there are growing up without siblings, the positives are immediately apparent. Sarica, like others I’ve met, is overachieving, confident and a natural leader. She also happens to be really smart. After graduating with a degree in biology and working as a data analyst at a biotech company, she was confronted by one of the Ph.D.’s there, who said, “Don’t get me wrong — I love that you’re here, but what are you doing here? You have so much potential.” Sarica realized the Ph.D. was right, and she quit her job and went back to school. She tells me, “Basically, since day one at pharmacy school, I realized it was my calling. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.” She hit the ground running at USC.

“While I was in pharmacy school, I started my own organization, called the Student Industry Association, and the purpose was to introduce students to opportunities for jobs within the biotech and pharmaceutical industry.” That led Sarica to work for the world’s largest biotech company, “which changed my life. I love what I do now. I’m a medical educator — going around teaching doctors about the biotech company’s clinical data. I’m not in sales. I’m a true educator.”

For a girl who grew up with no Jewish friends in an entirely non-Jewish neighborhood of Simi Valley, she’s had no problem reconnecting to Jews. She’s going to be the chair of the Young Women’s Division of the Guardians of the Los Angeles Jewish Home for the Aging; she’s involved with Jewish Federation, Young Jewish Professionals; and charities for her alma mater and one called Operation Blankets of Love, for shelter dogs. “My friends always joke around that if I have a free moment, they’re surprised. But I always keep myself busy with social and volunteer activities. I’ll host a Shabbat dinner; I’ll go to someone’s birthday party; I’ll throw a baby shower … people say I missed my calling as a party planner. I should be social chair of whatever I’m involved in.”

If this comes across as bragging, it’s not. She’s not the self-absorbed type. She just loves being involved with organizations and people. She enjoys introducing people to others.

I ask her about what kind of guy she’s looking for, and she jokes, “With two legs.” But there’s some truth to it. She adds some adjectives, “Driven, ambitious and nice,” but in terms of looks she says, “I don’t care if they’re tall or short or fat or skinny. I’m really not that picky. Obviously I need to be attracted to them, but I can be attracted to someone fat, short or bald.” I grab on to this and start pointing out various funny-looking men in the Starbucks. “Would you date him? How about that guy with the creepy mustache?” She says yes to all of them except the homeless guy — and it’s more about his lack of ambition than his pungent odor.

I wouldn’t believe Sarica was so easygoing had I not spent time with her in Israel last month on a Jewish Federation trip. She gets along with everyone. “That’s something I value. I don’t have a lot of enemies.”  “Do you have any?” I ask. “No, I don’t have any. I don’t think I have any. Not that I know of, anyway.”

So now I’m not sure if I’m more interested in finding her a husband or an enemy. But if you’re interested in either, let me know.

If you’re interested in anyone you see on My Single Peeps, send an e-mail and a picture, including the person’s name in the subject line, to mysinglepeeps@jewishjournal.com, and we’ll forward it to your favorite peep.

Seth Menachem is an actor and writer living in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter. You can see more of his work on his Web site, sethmenachem.com, and meet even more single peeps at mysinglepeeps.com.

My Single Peeps: Sarica C. Read More »

Letters to the Editor: GOP candidates, Christopher Hitchens, religion

Leave a Comment / Letters to the Editor /

Israel Needs Evangelical Support

Bill Boyarsky engages in character assassination when he implies that the real reason so many Evangelical Christians support Israel is out of a sick desire to see the Jews killed or converted at the end-of-times (“Taking the Pro-Israel Pulse of GOP Candidates,” Dec. 23). I too could assert that the real reason Boyarsky makes this suggestion is because he disagrees with Evangelicals on a number of domestic policy issues and wants to discredit them, but that wouldn’t be fair because I can’t really know what is motivating him. Boyarsky should afford the same benefit of the doubt to Evangelicals. I’m sure Boyarsky does not question the motives of the righteous Gentiles who sought to save Jews from the Holocaust. Still, when in a 2002 Tarrance Group poll Evangelicals were asked to identify their primary theological reason for supporting Israel, a majority said it was to bless Israel and the Jewish people, not usher in the end-of-times. A 2006 Pew poll found similar results. In the spirit of hakarat hatov — showing gratitude for the good that is done for you — Jews should reach out to Christians and show gratitude for their strong support of Israel.

Jonathan Hermel
YULA High School Student
Sherman Oaks

Iranians Must Fight for
Own Freedom

Iranians citizens today, the majority of them being Muslim, claim that they cannot overthrow their Islamic leader, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, because the United States will not offer them help in hand (“Are We Hearing Voices?” Dec. 23). Although America’s political and military forces could help Iranian activists in achieving their goal, isn’t it ultimately up to Iranian citizens to fight for freedom on their own, rather than relying on other countries to do the dirty work for them? After all, no one understands the torture a leader inflicts on their citizens more than the citizens themselves. In addition, American intervention on Iranian policy has proven unsuccessful in the past.

Muhammad Ali, the well-respected Muslim prophet, states, “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” Thus, if Iranian citizens do not take the risk of fighting for democratic change on their own, then they may never accomplish their goal.

Jessica Behmanesh
Beverly Hills

Can We All Get Along?

Thank you for the excellent and inspiring article about Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood sharing a sacred space with a Lutheran group and a Muslim group (“Under One Roof,” Dec. 23). What was most moving about the article is hearing the rabbi describe how she manages to keep her heart open even when challenged by new and uncomfortable situations. It’s a crucial teaching we will probably need throughout 2012, not only in discussions about the Middle East but in our family and career dilemmas as well.  

Leonard Felder
West Los Angeles

Hitchens Was No Fan of Chanukah

How ironic — or perhaps tragic — that the Chanukah issue of The Jewish Journal features two eulogies for Christopher Hitchens (“The Shtarker,” “Christopher Hitchens, 62,” Dec. 23). Fresh out of our celebrations of what we call our “Festival of Lights and Freedom,” here is a sampling of Mr. Hitchens’ own comments on Chanukah: “If one could nominate an absolutely tragic day in human history, it would be the occasion that is now commemorated by the vapid and annoying holiday known as Hanukkah … to celebrate Hanukkah is to celebrate not just the triumph of tribal Jewish backwardness, but also the accidental birth of Judaism’s bastard child in the shape of Christianity … when the fanatics of Palestine won that victory, and when Judaism repudiated Athens for Jerusalem, the development of the whole of humanity was terribly retarded.” I guess I am living in Hitchens’ self-described world of Jewish darkness, so can someone please enlighten me as to why some in the Jewish community choose to celebrate the life of someone whose words sound like they are pulled straight off of a trashy anti-Semitic Web site? 

Rabbi Daniel Bouskila
Director, Sephardic Educational Center

Vote for What’s Best for America, Not Israel

It is beyond my comprehension how any American Jew would choose to vote for a president based on the opinions of The Israel Factor panel (“The Israel Factor Project: Romney vs. Gingrich vs. Obama,” Dec. 23). Unless you are opting to make aliyah, I would hope that your major interest would be to elect the best person for Americans. We may love the concept of a democratic Jewish state, but, in reality, Herzl’s and Ben-Gurion’s dream nation has become a Jewish Republic. I personally believe that Israel will never know peace without a two-state resolution. All Jews can worry, but the important choices lie with the Israeli Jews, and not the Diaspora.

Martin J. Weisman
Westlake Village

Which Republican Candidate Loves Israel the Most?

In “Taking the Pro-Israel Pulse of GOP Candidates” (Dec. 23), about candidates in the upcoming presidential election talking about Israel, I applaud the American public for making the race for “Who loves Israel most” one of the top priorities in the presidential campaign. I agree with the fact that standing with or against Israel is a crucial matter for the United States. It means a lot of money being spent on Israel and this relationship. It means, perhaps, not having the best relationship with Palestinian nations, which means that oil and gasoline prices soar. However, it also means standing for exactly what the United States believes in. It means standing with the one democratic country in the entire Middle East. It means standing with a country that understands what it is like to be dealing with terrorism, a country that is constantly fighting terrorism. So, yes, standing with Israel could hurt the United States’ economy, however, and I think that the United States is starting to understand this, when push comes to shove, Israel is an amazingly helpful ally.

Bethia Gindi
Los Angeles

Bill Boyarsky belies his reputation as an astute political commentator in his column, “Taking the Pro-Israel Pulse of GOP Candidates.” Neither of the GOP frontrunners as of the date Mr. Boyarsky wrote his column — Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich — is a Protestant Evangelical, so what is the relevance of the beliefs of Rev. John Hagee regarding Israel? Moreover, apparently unlike Mr. Boyarsky, I have actually spoken with many Evangelical Christians about their support of Israel, and none of them has ever mentioned the Rapture or Armageddon or any of the other apocalyptic beliefs that the Jewish left claims is the reason for Evangelical Christian support of Israel and the Jewish people. Rather, they nearly always cite the blessing God gives to Abram: “And I will make of you a great nation … And I will bless him that blesses you, and him that curses you I will curse” (Genesis 12:2-3). That’s Jewish belief too, by the way. Indeed, that is also the reason stated by John Hagee, as quoted by Mr. Boyarsky in the column before Mr. Boyarsky incoherently segues into a discussion of the Rapture. Even Mr. Boyarsky’s understanding of the Christian concept of the Rapture is flawed — those Christians who believe in it do not believe that everyone left behind dies in the tribulations that follow. Finally, while it is true that normative Christianity — and not just Protestant Evangelicals — holds that no person, Jew or gentile, can be saved in the hereafter without a belief in the Christian savior, why should any Jew, secular or religious, base his vote on a Christian candidate’s beliefs concerning spiritual salvation? The religious Jew believes that one’s portion in the world to come is determined by one’s deeds in this life, while to the Jew who does not believe in a soul or afterlife, Christian salvation dogma should be irrelevant.

Ralph Kostant
via e-mail

Bill Boyarsky wrote, “Netanyahu’s hawkish policies toward Iran and Palestinians.” Iran poses an existential threat to Israel, given their systematic rhetoric of not recognizing Israel, rather, the “Zionist Entity.”

Therefore, Israel has to weigh what the wise option is: to do a pre-emptive strike on Iran that will trigger war with Hezbollah and Hamas (and possibly Syria), or to not act militarily and preemptively and allow Iran to attain a nuclear weapon whereby it can certainly wipe out Israel. Iran’s policies are hawkish, Israel’s policies are defensive, in guarding its citizens. Regarding Palestinians: The Gaza strip is run entirely by Hamas, a militant Islamist organization (deemed a terrorist organization by the U.S., EU, UK, etc.), and was born out of the infamous Muslim Brotherhood of Hassan Bana.

Israel withdrew from Gaza in 2005 with assurance that it would be a step toward peace, but the antithesis has occurred. Hamas has allowed thus far for 17,000 rockets launched into southern Israel. Because of security concerns, Israel has a legal blockade around the coastal enclave (legal, UN Palmer Report 2011). If Israel bombing Hamas tunnels used for attaining weapons is “hawkish,” then you are asking Israel to destruct.

Shira Ben-Shushan
Los Angeles

As the Republican primary elections near, the remaining candidates are racing to win over the groups that are still up for grabs. Currently a lot of the attention has been directed at the Jewish population. In your Dec. 23 issue, this topic was covered rather carelessly. It was mentioned in this article that there hadn’t been a recent time where the administration gave more support to the security of Israel than now. This does not sit well with me considering how we are less than a decade removed from George W. Bush’s administration where maintaining a strong bond with Israel, our strongest ally in the Middle East, was one of our top foreign affair priorities. Later on in the article it was mentioned that 13 percent more of the Jewish population than the entire population of America approve of the Obama Administration. This can possibly mislead your readers into thinking that Jews are satisfied with the job done in the Middle East with foreign affairs, while this is certainly not true. These things should be well thought out before published in your publication.

Zvulun Zeffren
YULA Boys School
Los Angeles

The Israel Factor Project released a survey that was taken by the panel (“The Israel Factor Project: Romney vs. Gingrich vs. Obama,” Dec. 23). They voted on which candidate running for the Republicans would be the best for Israel.

But what is going to happen if one of the candidates that was voted the worst for Israel becomes President? The president will feel hostile towards the State of Israel, and will not want to even have the usually courtesies. Israel and the Jews of America will also be in a state of panic because the candidate that is “good for them” wasn’t picked. Therefore, it doesn’t sound like a good idea to get involved in politics that you can’t help in any way.

Chava Glass
YULA
Los Angeles

Proper Comparison Would Strengthen Argument

It is always with regret that I read in your pages from university students who have turned from their former attachment to Judaism and to Israel, and, after a thorough indoctrination from their predominantly leftist professors, become “critical” of Israel. Such is the case with Rebecca Powell (“You Taught Us Well—Now It’s Our Turn,” Dec. 9).

She writes, as others do, that, “Israel is not perfect.” To whom, may I ask, is she comparing Israel? — To Mother Theresa? To the angels in heaven? Perfection is not ours to have here on earth. The comparison should be made with respect to the barbaric medieval Islamist countries surrounding Israel. In comparison Israel shines as a light unto the nations regarding ethics and morality. Internally, Israel, to be sure, has its share of problems, as do all nations. Ms. Powell would be more effective and supportable if, when exposing Israel’s deficiencies, she would make a proper comparison.

Israel is a tiny country surrounded and threatened by its neighbors. She needs all the help and support she can get. particularly from her brethren. Surely Ms. Powell in her comments does not mean harm to Israel; but she causes precisely that when she singles out Israel for criticism.

C.P. Lefkowitz
Rancho Palos Verdes

Pros and Cons of Sharing Sacred Space

Thank-you for your wonderful article on the loving coexistence of the three congregations of Village Church, Ahavat Torah and Musasllah Talhid (“The Big Tent,” Dec. 23). Speaking as one of the members of Ahavat Torah, we take great pride in these relationships and the courageous leadership of our rabbi into them. Our interfaith connections are fundamentally spiritual rather than political. I was already committed to mutual Jewish-Muslim understanding but I had not paid the same attention to Christian-Jewish bonds. On Christmas Eve, several Ahavat Torah members and the rabbi herself, attended Candlelight services. We came out of respect and admiration for Reverend Janet Bregar. We left with a far deeper appreciation of this essence of this Christian High Holy Day.

Ellen Carol DuBois
Professor of History, UCLA

Sharing “space” and goodwill with Muslims is a noble endeavor but it comes with a great price; the constant threat of violence. Muslim Christmas terror predates Sept. 11, the War on Terror, the War in Iraq, or any of the other excuses used to justify Muslim violence. The problem is the Koran itself.

This Christmas, Muslims bombed Churches in five Nigerian cities. Two years ago on Northwest Airlines Flight 253, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a devout Muslim, had a packet of explosives sewn into his underwear. At his trial he said, “The Koran obliges every able Muslim to participate in jihad and fight in the way of Allah and kill them wherever you find them.”

At a Christmas celebration in Portland, Oregon, Mohamed Osman Mohamud tried to detonate an explosive device. He said, “What makes me happy is seeing the enemy of Allah and their torn bodies everywhere.”

On a Christmas day in Indonesia the Congregation of Islam detonated 38 bombs in Cathedrals, convents, schools and churches, wounding over 100 people and killing 19. Its leading Muslim cleric explained, “Islam must win and Westerners will be destroyed … peace means they must be governed by Islam.”

Around the world, the wounded moan, the dead are silent, and the cry of “Allahu Akbar” comes from the mouths of the murderers. True peace requires honesty. We are witnessing the ancient religious war written in blood in the pages of the Koran.

Asher Norman
via e-mail

Hitchens’ Atheism Was His Folly

I am neither dismayed nor disappointed at the demise of the celebrated journalist, debater and rabid atheistic wit Christopher Hitchens (“The Shtarker,” Dec. 23).

I appreciated his neoconservative conversion, a conviction that prompted him to support the United States’ war with Islamo-Fascism. His erudition in subjects literary and political was stirring and enervating, refreshing and riveting.

I especially welcomed his biting criticism of the faux-faithful Mother Teresa, a charity charlatan whose efforts in Calcutta will forever be undermined by her dedication to poverty, not the poor; her crass pandering to dictators and media elites for quick cash donations; and her bold forays into California medical clinics while her many convents to India’s down-and-out suffered the most despicable deprivation. His penetrating indictment of this secularized icon was effervescent and effective.

Nevertheless, to claim that this half-Jewish journalist was a “shtarker” is hollow praise at best. Hitchens’ unrepentant atheism exposed the fundamental folly of this otherwise brilliant man.

Beloved King David denounces Hitchens and the world for the true wisdom which they sorely lack: “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God” (Psalm 14:1) .

His wise son King Solomon concurred: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7) .

These two eternal truths have withstood and surpassed the human wisdom of the ages. Therefore, we can only declare that Christopher Hitchens was just one more tipsh (“fool” in Yiddish), although a very acerbic and informative one.

Arthur Christopher Schaper
Torrance

Negotiations, Not UN Action, Key to Peace

In Sept. 2011, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas submitted his request for U.N. Security Council recognition of Palestine as a full member state. Rob Eshman spun this story as an opportunity for peace, rather than the clear evasion of peace it is (“You and the UN,” Oct. 14).

Eshman implores Israel supporters to “ensure that the U.N. resolution for Palestinian statehood protects Israel’s security, recognizes Israel’s Jewish character and enshrines the two-state solution” by reaching out to their government. I urge Mr. Eshman to comprehend that such a resolution may end up including those criteria, but the antithesis would unfold on the ground. Eshman seems to forget that real, concrete peace treaties Israel has earned were fruits of intense, long direct negotiations — such as the Israeli peace treaties with Egypt, Jordan, and even the Oslo Accords. Not to mention, such unilateral actions are prohibited under the Oslo Accords that the PLO signed.

Moreover, I beg to differ with Eshman’s claim that UN recognition of Palestine would “effectively undermine the power of Hamas.” A Palestinian state imposed today would most definitely feature Hamas violently usurping full control of it, as we saw happening in 2006 after elections in Gaza. What would “undermine the power of Hamas,” however, would be Mahmoud Abbas letting go of his unprecedented, illogical precondition of a freeze to all settlement construction (a.k.a. pre-negotiating what should be negotiated in direct negotiations), and simply to start talking peace with the Israelis.

On another note, Palestinian elections are coming up, and Mahmoud Abbas needs to be strategic so that he does not lose to the revitalized Hamas after the Shalit swap. The wisest thing for Abbas to do is to advance in direct negotiations, therefore getting in more money from the U.S. Congress for campaigning and for internal security, and to show the people that Palestine is on its way. Should Abbas engage in direct talks with the PA, I maintain that Fatah will surge in the elections.

Leron Rayn
YULA
Los Angeles

Hadassah Medical Center Needs Support

I am a Jewish 17-year-old living in Los Angeles, and I currently attend YULA High School. I love the fact that you put the article [online about] The Hadassah Medical Center in Israel (“Report: Hadassah Medical Center can’t meet payments,” jewishjournal.com, Dec. 22).

I disagree with the Israeli government [decision] that they aren’t supporting the Hadassah Medical Center, and I appreciate it that you have informed the American Jewish community about this conflict. We should advertise the conflict in schools, synagogues, and community centers. The Hadassah Medical Center needs our support, and I will do everything in my power to help advertise about this.

Jacob Weinblut
Sherman Oaks

Israel Should Enforce Behavior Standards

I agree with the fact that a segregated city is not a Jewish ideal, and I also believe that the Charedi community is getting out of hand; although, I think you could have had a stronger argument if you added that it is Chilul Hashem to make people feel uncomfortable just by doing a simple thing, like sitting on a bus or walking down the street (”Israel Takes Gender Fight to Buses, Billboards,” Nov. 18). The Charedim need to be told that they will be prosecuted if they do not stop acting this way — it is completely unacceptable and is creating a bad image for the entire Jewish community.

Benjamin Krombach
YULA
Los Angeles

Evolution of U.S. Air Force Nomenclature

In the Dec. 23 issue of The Journal, reference was twice made to men having served in the “Army Air Corps” during World War II. For what it’s worth, the Air Corps became known as the U.S. Army Air Forces in June, 1941. The USAAF kept this designation until September, 1947, when the armed forces were reorganized and a separate U.S. Air Force came into being.

Chaim Sisman
Los Angeles

Letters to the Editor: GOP candidates, Christopher Hitchens, religion Read More »

Tunisian pizza

Leave a Comment / Gina Nahai, News, Opinion /

There’s a concept in the Persian language – ghessmat – for which no exact equivalent exists in English. It refers to a person’s unrelenting, inescapable, for better or worse but either way, it was designed and executed specifically for you, destiny.

Like when you miss your flight because the cab got a flat tire, then the plane you were supposed to be on crashes in the Atlantic Ocean. Or when you work a lifetime and hide all your money in your mattress because you don’t trust the banks, then the mattress catches fire and burns to ashes. Or, more immediately in my experience, when you resist eating at kosher dairy restaurants for 30 years because the food gives you heartburn, only to end up in a place at Pico and Bedford on a Wednesday night, eating pizza with cheese, fried egg, and tuna, and living to rave about it.

My mother has been recommending this place – 26 by Shiloh’s – for a year already. She talks about it like it’s Perino’s come back to life in Pico-Robertson, and maybe I’ve been living under a rock, but all I’ve ever seen of kosher dairy is Greek Salad (I make it better myself), humus (they sell a nonfat version at Trader Joe’s), and pizza with a thick, greasy crust and too much cheese. My mother is a very talented artist with an intensely accurate intuition – she dreamt JFK was lying with his head in a pool of blood two days before he was assassinated – but she tends to have one or two blind spots for the people she loves, her entire, very extended, very international family among them. You want to achieve sainthood in under three minutes? Be born or marry into the Merage family, and my mother will see to it that you’re fast-tracked ahead of Mother Teresa.

In this case, one of the owners, Geoffrey Ghanem, is related to her by marriage. Geoffrey is a French Jew who met his wife, Debbie, on the boardwalk in Eilat. They were both 21. He didn’t speak English; Debbie didn’t speak French. Debbie’s parents are Iranians who met and married strictly because of ghessmat: In 1972, Debbie’s mother, Shana, broke up with her fiance the morning of the wedding because she “didn’t know the guy well enough and didn’t want to get to know him anymore.” To escape the heat, she left Tehran to spend a couple of months with her sister in New York. If ever she got married, she told her sister, it was going to be after a long, long, courtship.

One snowy afternoon, an old friend of her sister’s came to visit. The friend had a brother, Ray, who had lived in Pasadena since he was 17, coming to the United States alone and with no money. He slept in a church or at the YMCA, started to work as a busboy at Manny’s Cafeteria in Pasadena; three years later, he was managing eight Denny’s restaurants, but he lost his job because one of chefs left the stove on when they locked up for the night. In the morning, the place had burned to the ground and Ray was told he should think about a career change. He went into banking. In 1972, he was engaged to the daughter of Pasadena’s chief of police when they decided they had rushed into something prematurely and broke off the engagement.

Ray and Shana met on a Sunday afternoon. On Wednesday of the following week, they went to City Hall in New York and got married.

Some 30 years later, their daughter Debbie met Geoffrey on a Wednesday afternoon in Eilat. She didn’t want to live anywhere except in Los Angeles; he had always known that he would live anywhere but Los Angeles. He proposed after a week and followed Debbie to L.A. to work in real estate; instead, he and Debbie opened two restaurants. They’re still happily married and raising 5-year-old twins and 3-year-old triplets. That, too, is ghessmat.

My mother is so fond of the twins and the triplets, she has their pictures framed and displayed all over her house. That’s very sweet, I think, but it does make her recommendation of 26 a little suspect. As far as I know, in Los Angeles you’re lucky if you get a plate with your slice of pizza; you want a tableside flambe and French and Italian tapas? Go to France and Italy. Then again, you can only withstand a force of nature for so long before you have to relent, and that’s how I finally ended up at 26 on a Wednesday night during its grand reopening, and I have to say, I was a little stunned by the elegance and beauty of the restaurant’s interior; it looks like it should be in the meat packing district of Manhattan instead of in Pico-Robertson, down the street from the kosher fish stores and Iranian grocery stores and all those other shops that could stand a few coats of paint and some major renovation.

That already makes it an anomaly. So does “sea bass with pomegranate sauce” and “baked fig with a cheese crust” and, yes, “Tunisian pizza” with fried egg and tuna. I order this last one only because I want to see what it looks like, but then the food arrives, and it’s all very good and not expensive. And then the chef comes out to talk to us about his “concept” of “Western European cuisine” with “essence of international flavor,” and “natural, seasonal, market-fresh items,” and how he was the executive chef at the Hotel du Lac in Switzerland and later at the Carlton in Cannes.

All this is great and wonderful and, for someone who has underestimated the potential of kosher dairy for so long, rather humbling, but what are the chances, I’d like to know, that two Iranian Jews would both leave fiances at the altar, meet and marry in three days against all reason and live happily ever after, have a child in Pasadena who will meet and marry a French boy in Israel after a week when neither of them even speaks the other’s language, come back with him to Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles, have a set of twins and a set of triplets, and open a restaurant that serves pizza with fried egg and tuna that — I kid you not — is delicious?

Tunisian pizza Read More »