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March 17, 2010

Decoration Seder Plate

I have a beef with websites that promise to deliver a wide range of decorations for EVERY occasion and don’t deliver to the one religious sect that has a holiday every five point two seconds.  Us Jews could support Oriental Trading Company alone if they would deliver decent table décor tailored for our holidays.  I’ve scanned Google in search of the best Passover knickknacks for my table and so far all I’ve come up with to re-enact the blood plague, was a pair of glow in the dark teeth, a vampire bat to hang from the ceiling, and a red ink pen that looks like an injection needle.  Cute, but I can’t give out pens on a holiday where writing is forbidden during the Seder.  They did carry a bag of blood sour candy, but of course that is trafe- and “chametz”.  (Bread friendly- a no-no on Passover). 

Is it too much to ask for a set of a dozen slaying of the first born fuzzy creatures?  Could you imagine if Oriental Trading Company had a section for every Jewish holiday with innovative ornaments for our Martha Stewart table topping pleasure?  I’d like to see them make glow sticks that say “Yom Kippur- don’t eat!”  What about Shavuot? That holiday always gets jipped.  Most people don’t remember that it is in June, we eat cheesecake, and it celebrates the giving of the Torah.  Is it too much to ask for a set of napkins and matching paper plates with blintzes and cheesecake engraved? 

Chanukah seems to be the only holiday with an array of decorative items for our buying pleasure.  But who picked blue?  What if I want an android green and amber color theme? What do I do then?  And I love the Jewish star. Who doesn’t like the Jewish star- but must we always be stuck with that symbol for our cups and table runners?  What about other symbols like the Moses staff?  I’d like a teal set of platters with a Moses staff printed in the middle.  You know, just to mix things up.

If I sold Jew party themed packs, I’d have the Tabernacle mint tins, Matzo and Morror flavored party suckers, and neon bottles that blow bubbles in the shape of shofars.  I’d sell fuchsia Mylar balloons that look like Seder plates. I’d have goody bags with a list of all the 613 laws as handouts.  Who’s up for a luau themed draidle party?  Wouldn’t it be nice to buy Hawaiian style paper goods that say Happy Chanukah.

Oriental Trading did have a variety of frogs and bugs to represent some of the plagues for my decoration Seder fest.  I may make red punch for the blood, and re-enact the slaying with the one guy who shows up late, just to keep things interesting. We can even eat dessert with the lights out to remind us of the darkness plague.  I still need to figure out how I’m going to depict lice.  That may be a hard one. As for my Seder centerpieces?  We’re going with the traditional Seder plate, but I did get the kids coloring in Passover themed placemats that I plan on laminating.  They’ve colored two. Only 28 more to go! We’re hiring an actor to walk around with a staff, and my kids are filling the wild animal printed goody bags with a remedy bottle for your run of the mill boil out break.  I chose tasteful colors. Not blue. And I managed to find matzo blow up balls for a round of toss the matzo ball during the soup course.

I think I am being pretty innovative this year, but I still have a beef with decoration companies that promise to carry décor for EVERY occasion.  Instead, they should say “we carry décor for some occasions, mainly not Jewish ones, unless your favorite color is blue and you don’t mind using Chanukah themed party plates for every occasion, including your Tishabav themed fast party, than we’re a one stop shop.”

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Nontraditional roles in a traditional home

In our house, a man’s place is in the kitchen.  That’s the way it’s been for all 18 years of our marriage.  I do the cooking, not because I have to, but because I like to. I actually worked as a chef and caterer for years before we met. My wife picks up the domestic slack doing those household chores I don’t enjoy, like everything else.  This is an arrangement that has worked out well from the start of our marriage.

Then came Passover.

My wife is a Conservative rabbi.  I grew up as a secular Jew. At our wedding, where a dozen rabbis occupied a single table, my father took me aside and said, “I thought I told you not to intermarry.”

It was a joke. My parents loved Naomi from the start. And Naomi and I learned, as every couple must, no matter what their faith or traditions, when to accommodate and how to negotiate.

And then came Passover.

My idea of Passover was to gather family and friends, cook a great meal with some of the traditional foods, and run through the haggadah service in order to eat.

Naomi had a different idea.  But I didn’t realize just how different until a few days before what was to be our first seder together. I was out getting last-minute groceries, anxious to get home, unload and start what would be hours of cooking wedged into a busy work week. I walked in to find Naomi in an unusual place: the kitchen. She was stretching humongous sheets of aluminum foil over every cupboard shelf and counter top, turning our kitchen — my kitchen — into the skin of Apollo 13.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Kashering the counters,” she said.

To observant Jews, the weeks before Passover are devoted to a frenzy of cleaning.  The holiday laws have been developed to demand that every precaution is taken to prevent Passover foods from coming in contact with any form of leavening, or chametz.  Naomi had gathered boxes of perfectly good food that she would donate to the homeless because it wasn’t kosher for Passover.  She had remodeled the kitchen in Reynolds Wrap. She had taped most of our kitchen cabinets shut.  Behind them lay about three-quarters of the cooking utensils I had counted on to prepare a feast for 30 guests.  But because we used these all year long, they had come in contact with chametz — they were not kosher for Passover.

Most bizarrely, Naomi had brought an enormous stockpot of water to a rolling boil. I watched like Malinowski among the Trobrianders as my beautiful, sophisticated, modern wife then set about boiling our silverware.

“What does that do?” I asked.

“It kashers them,” she said. I felt like I had gone from Trader Joe’s directly to the set of “Yentl.”

I had lived in Jerusalem for two years, and I’d seen the wading-pool-sized cauldrons set up in the ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods, where housewives in wigs and long dresses boiled their pots and pans to make them kosher for Passover.  But in my kitchen?  On the Westside?  By a woman wearing Levi’s and a Christo T-shirt?

I was upset.  The whole thing seemed arcane,  excessive, superstitious.  I had a seder, the mother of all dinner parties, to cook for, and my kitchen had been commandeered by the third century. As Naomi dipped and boiled the silverware, I mumbled, in my most passive-aggressive voice, “Ooga booga.  Ooga booga.”

Fortunately, she didn’t take offense.  But she didn’t relent, either.

And I came face to face with one of Judaism’s harshest realities: The laws of Passover come down heaviest on the cook.  If I was going to learn to enjoy this holiday of freedom, I had better learn to do it within what seemed like some pretty severe constraints.

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The Mesorah and Her Alleged Heretics

With the dust settling (for the moment) over the issue of ordaining women, a question of a much more sweeping and urgent nature needs to be squarely addressed. The right-wing opponents of the RCA’s measured statement are demanding with one voice that the ordination of women expressly be labeled as “a breach of our mesorah (received tradition)”. Their claim is that it ultimately doesn’t matter whether bestowing the title “rabbi” upon a woman violates Halacha or not. Even if it does not, it is an act of near heresy, as it implicitly denies the validity of our received tradition which we believe originated at Sinai – a tradition which bans women from the rabbinate, or so their argument goes. This is the stance taken by Agudah, among others. Their argument is designed to be a debate-stopper. Such has always been the purpose of crying “heresy”.

But is their understanding of the term “mesorah” accurate? Let us for now leave the specific issue of women’s ordination aside (though to argue that we have a tradition barring women from the modern rabbinate is comparable to the argument, made nearly a century ago, that we have a tradition barring women from voting). Let’s focus only on the larger question: Do we believe that to change any long-standing Jewish practice is perforce to deny the validity – or even the existence of – a legally binding “mesorah”?
Or might the opposite be true? That to stubbornly insist on never changing long-standing practices is actually itself a departure from our received tradition? 

There is a constellation of points in Jewish Law and practice which when taken together form a striking pattern. Accepted, Biblically-sanctioned legal practices are sometimes understood as falling short of our religious ideals, and are then subject to formal or de facto change. One point in the pattern is the Talmud’s decision to label the “Law of the Captive Beauty” (D’varim 21) as being a concession to the dark side of human nature, the yetzer hara. Yes, the Torah permits the Israelite soldier to seize a beautiful woman whom he finds among the captives of war. But to rabbinic thinking, the fact that this is permissible doesn’t imply that it is a behavior that meets Judaism’s religious/ethical ideal. Our Sages explicitly label seizing a woman, even under these circumstances, as being a bad thing. It is something that a decent religious person does not do. Long-sanctioned legal tradition though it may be, the unmistakable conclusion is that as we progress in our ethical self-expectations, the “Law of the Captive beauty” is a practice that should not be perpetuated (and in fact would never be tolerated in a Jewish army today)
Take, as another example the fate, in rabbinic hands, of the Torah’s instruction that we take Canaanites as our slaves, and that we not to ever emancipate them. Indeed, Tanach attests to the established tradition of Israelites owning non-Israelite slaves, and presumably bequeathing them to their children. But to the rabbinic mind, this Biblical law was a concession to economic realities, not a reflection of our religious ideal. (See Sifra Behar, parsha 6). In light of the severe Biblical restrictions concerning owning and working an Israelite slave, the earliest generation of Jews simply needed an alternative. (In the words of the Sifra, “Since You prohibited all of these, what labor shall we use?!”)  But the Talmud attests in several places, that our sages had grown uncomfortable with this long-standing practice of permanent servitude. In fact by the time of the Hadrianic persecution, the practice of emancipating foreign slaves was so common among Jews that when the Romans charged R. Elazar ben Parta with the crime of observing Jewish Law, one of the charges leveled against him was “why did you emancipate your slave?” . This practice, Rashi comments, was widely regarded as “dat yehudit”, standard Jewish practice (Gemara and Rashi A.Z. 17a}

The traditions of warfare are yet another point in the pattern. The Midrash (Tanchuma 96:3, in the context of D’varim 20) portrays Moshe himself as rejecting the Biblical mode of warfare in which civilians are not always given the opportunity to escape. Moshe’s midrashic refusal to comply with God’s command to carry out just such a campaign, anticipates the halachik change to this effect. (See for example, Rambam’s Mishna Torah, Laws of Kings 6:1)

What these examples share is the fact that the stated law, the established practice, fell short of a religious/moral ideal that the Torah itself elsewhere expressed. The taking of women against their will is listed a sin of the generation of the flood. Our founding story revolves around the moral evil of forcing people to labor as slaves with no hope of freedom. Our progenitor Abraham’s greatest moment was the one when he insisted that one cannot kill the innocent along with the wicked.  And in each of the above cases, the legal tradition was ultimately modified.

These are but a few points in the pattern. Over time, our tradition has also effected changes in the areas of divorce, the taking of concubines, and the implementation of capital punishment, all with an eye toward the ideals the Torah elsewhere articulates. The underlying legal theory is the recognition that our people’s historical journey from the real to the ideal is a long one. As well as the recognition that the travelers with which we began our journey –  those who left Egypt – possessed but the most tenuous of grasps on what it was that God was envisioning. Rambam said it best. “Many things in our Law are due [to the fact] that a sudden transition from one opposite to another is impossible. And man, according to his nature, is not capable of abandoning suddenly all to which he was accustomed. (Guide, 3:32) As paraphrased by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, “the Torah is a series of provisional enactments, tending toward the realization of an ideal society”.
It is unmistakable that our received tradition instructs us to continuously reflect upon our long-standing practices.  For the fact that a given practice is long-standing can point either to the conclusion that it is worthy and good, or to the conclusion that it is overdue for a reassessment, as it represents a premature plateauing in our constant ascent toward God’s ideal. To change is not to breach the mesorah. If anything, the opposite is true.

We have a received tradition regarding the means and the methods of change as well. The process is characterized by cautiousness and consensus-building, care and community. But we need to be wary of those who brandish the term “mesorah” as a weapon against any change that doesn’t suit their political tastes. They are abusing the term, and leading us backwards.

 

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IDF official: Neither Israel nor PA wants violence

A senior Israel Defense Forces officer said Tuesday that despite the violence that erupted across Jerusalem in response to Hamas’ declaration of a “day of rage” , neither the Palestinian Authority nor Israel was interested in seeing a renewal of conflict.

“Everyone understands that we can’t let this region fall into unbridled violence,” he said, adding that Israeli and Palestinian officials were in close coordination.

Palestinians and Israeli security forces clashed across Jerusalem on Tuesday, and hints of the violence seemed also to spread to other parts of the country after Hamas called to protest Israel’s consecration of an ancient synagogue in the city the day before.

Read the full story at HAARETZ.com.

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