fbpx

February 4, 2010

Sucking in the Smoke

As seen at ” title=”www.send-email.org”>www.send-email.org to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com.

Dear Yenta,

I love to smoke cigarettes in my apartment. I don’t want anyone to know that I participate in this heinous self-destructive act, but I am addicted, not necessarily to nicotine, but to the secrecy of it…I do it while watching gangster movies, or political dramas, while reading self-indulgent books, or listening top 40 music. Whyyyyyy? Even writing this is kinda fun. Help.

-Lame-O

Dear Lame-O,

I once shared my love for Gossip Girl with an audience of four and they nearly destroyed it for me. Be sure to guard your secret indulgences, they are precious. If this is truly your vice, then enjoy it in full. Everyone does it, finds what they know to be “Sinful” and then indulges to somehow prove their autonomy.

Yes, this is a way of saying “Forget you world, I am in charge of me!” It is also a form of intimacy, you, your cigarettes, your pleasures. But finally, and honestly, it is clearly some weird form of self-abuse. Can you replace cigarettes with something less harmful to your body, like porn, chocolate, mint tea? Or, can you stop hating yourself and do it less often, and instead of lapping up the guilt, jump into the sheer pleasure of smoking, like a big kid in your own home?

I used to smoke in bed all the time in college. It disgusted people and was my way of marking my territory, some odd post-adolescent acting out. Just figure out if you are rebelling, or if you are half European and just have a penchant for fine tobacco. Check in with yourself and see who you are rebelling against, why, and whether you are using this behavior as a form of masochism or simply enjoyment of life’s pleasures.

Sucking in the Smoke Read More »

GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS

“Israeli formats are the ultimate greenhouse for ideas” – so says producer and former NBC honcho Ben Silverman in this weeks Variety. Along with an announcement that CBS is adapting another format from Israel “Quinn-tuplets,” this series is being developed in part by Arik Kneller who had been a student of mine in a master class sponsored by the Jewish Federation of LA two years ago.

Also chronicled by Variety is more disturbing news, the success of an iPhone application of Italian fascist Mussolini’s speeches that has Jews outraged internationally and is an unfortunate success in Italy.

Oy! Good news and horrible news.

GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS Read More »

Brittany Murphy memorial service at Temple of the Arts canceled

A memorial service scheduled for tomorrow in honor of Brittany Murphy has been postponed due to “family illness,” though some are suspicious of that announcement.

Sources say Murphy’s husband, Simon Monjack was soliciting donations of up to $1,000 for people to attend in order to raise money for The Brittany Murphy Foundation. The memorial, which was set to take place at Temple of the Arts at the Saban Theater, was scheduled to include performances by a host of Murphy’s friends, colleagues and fellow artists, including her “8 Mile” co-star rapper Eminem. 

Rabbi David Baron, the spiritual leader of Temple of the Arts, who performed Murphy’s funeral last December, said Murphy and her mother had attended high holidays services there earlier this year. Although Murphy was not Jewish, Baron said, “She was a very spiritual person.” Despite not being affiliated with any particular religious movement, Murphy’s husband is Jewish and the two were married in a Jewish wedding. Baron said that Murphy found something in Judaism that resonated with her and that she loved the high holidays.

For now, the memorial is postponed, though Baron said he expects it will be rescheduled for a later date.

More from TMZ:

Simon Monjack had planned a huge launch party Thursday night for his new Brittany Murphy Foundation—an organization he claims is dedicated to arts education for children. Monjack had been reportedly soliciting $1,000 donations per person to attend.

But just days before the big night, someone called the Beverly Hills Temple of the Arts—where the event was supposed to go down—and told the Rabbi to hold the Manischewitz… because the party was off.

We’re told Monjack insists the party was simply postponed—but so far, no new date has been set.

UPDATE: TMZ has learned guests for the event received the following email from someone at the Brittany Murphy Foundation, “So sorry but the memorial has been canceled due to an illness in the family.”

We spoke with Rabbi David Baron, who was supposed to conduct the memorial, who told us when the call came in, the person who canceled never gave a reason.

 

Brittany Murphy memorial service at Temple of the Arts canceled Read More »

Mom’s Apology

I feel that I owe my son an apology for yesterday.  Although I didn’t do anything major as far as things go that merit apologies, I still feel I owe him one.  (Yes, I will read it to him.)  So here it goes: 

First off, I apologize for getting up after you, whipping up a quick breakfast of instant oatmeal and chocolate milk, only to lay back on the living room couch and doze off for a few minutes more while Handy Manny on the tube kept you company.

Then to make matters worse, when I got up I took an extended shower (although I did jump out several times to make sure you and Handy Manny were ok – even though our carpet was not – drenched from my sporadic leaps out of the shower).  Of course I had to make up the time I lost under the shower head.  I thank you and Handy Manny for your patience, and I apologize.

I am also sorry that after the shower I needed to fold and put away yesterday’s laundry that covered my bedroom floor in baskets.  It probably would have sat around longer – if you and I weren’t out of clean clothes.  The good news is you and I both were out of our pajamas before noon.

I also want to apologize that by this time, it was time to start preparing lunch.  But first, I had to empty the dishes and reload the dishwasher with dirty ones.  I know you really wanted to go to Universal Studios today (again with our annual passes) and that was the plan.  I was trying to get things done as fast as I could, but during and after lunch I had to return a couple of calls and emails for work and ended up chatting for a little bit too long.

I also apologize for the time I spent on Facebook, but it was look-your-name-up-on-urbandicitionary.com day and I couldn’t help but be curious about my own name.  Who knew that “Mihal” without a “c” meant – “one who eats butterfly wings?”  But, I digress…again.  By the time I was done eating butterfly wings and Facebooking (no, I don’t really eat butterfly wings…I’m a vegetarian), it was getting late.

It was already well after four o’clock and you were content playing with your Leapster – I didn’t want to interrupt and figured I could use this time to finish up a story that I was working on.  And after all, at this point where would we go?  Universal Studios closes at six.  And it is almost time to get dinner ready, bath and bed time.

So, please please forgive me for yesterday and/or other days that end up that way.  I don’t mean for them to, they just do.  I apologize and I hope you can and will forgive me.  I promise to take you to Universal Studios today…if it doesn’t rain and just as soon as I finish writing this. 

Mom’s Apology Read More »

‘The Cello Suites’ brings music to life

If you do not already own a recording of Bach’s suites for the solo cello, you will certainly buy one before you finish reading Eric Siblin’s superb new book, “The Cello Suites: J. S. Bach, Pablo Casals, and the Search for a Baroque Masterpiece” (Atlantic Monthly Press: $24.00).

Siblin is a journalist, a rock music critic and a filmmaker rather than a musicologist, and he was inspired to write about the Cello Suites after he took his seat in the recital hall at the Royal Conservatory of Music in Toronto in 2000 “to hear a cellist I’d never heard of play music I knew nothing about.”  Like so many others over the last century or so, he was enchanted and beguiled by what he heard, but he was also curious to know more about a piece of music that he calls “the alpha and omega” for cello-players, “a rite of passage, the Mount Everest of their repertoire.”

“Why was monumental music written for the cello, a lowly instrument usually relegated to background droning in Bach’s time?” he wondered. “What would the music have sounded like in 1720?  [I]f the music is so uniquely captivating, why were the Cello Suites virtually never heard until [Pablo] Casals discovered them?”

All of these questions, and many more, are answered with charm, wit and savvy in the pages of “The Cello Suites.” There is something almost magical in how Siblin is able to bring the music alive using only words on the printed page, although I confess that Yo-Yo Ma’s recording of the Cello Suites was playing in the background as I read his book and as I wrote this review. Indeed, I will never listen to any composition by Bach in quite the same way again.

Siblin brings Bach himself fully alive. Bach’s first job was as “a violinist and ‘court lackey,’” a position that included “valet services.”  At the age of 18, while working as a church organist, he was charged with drawing a dagger on a fellow musician whom he taunted as a “nanny-goat bassoonist.”  He was admonished for “playing the organ too long during church services,” after which he responded by “play[ing] exaggeratedly short pieces,” and he was “scolded for allowing a ‘strange maiden’ into the organ loft.” 

Then, too, Siblin allows us to see how the most sublime works of musical composition were undertaken under the most stressful circumstances.  When Bach was passed over for a promotion to “Capellmeister” of the court band of the Duke of Weimar, for example, he asked for permission to accept an appointment at another court, and his employer responded by locking him up in the dungeon of the ducal castle. For that reason, Siblin speculates that “Bach quite possibly started writing the first cello suite in jail.”

Siblin also reminds us that Bach and his music never achieved fame in his own lifetime. “The silence could not have been any deeper,” writes Bach scholar Friedrich Blume, “if his compositions had never existed at all.”  When Mozart heard a Bach motet, only four decades after the composer’s death, he asked: “What is this?” Not until the Spanish Catalan cellist Pablo Casals discovered the Cello Suites and re-introduced them to the concert stage at the turn of the 20th century did they begin to attract the attention that they now enjoy. And it was not until the 1940s that recordings of the Cello Suites by Casals were released, “the first-ever complete studio accounts of the music,” as Siblin explains, “forged in the crucible of the Spanish Civil War.”

In a sense, “The Cello Suites” is a triple biography — we learn about the lives of Bach and Casals and the music itself.  Siblin cuts back and forth between these three narratives in a kind of dazzling verbal counterpoint, and he manages to touch on almost everything there is to know or say about Bach, ranging from the secret messages that Bach may have encoded into his compositions using the kabbalistic number symbolism called gematria to the improvisations of the Bach Remix Competition in Eugene, Ore., where “Bach’s little organ fugue was mixed with hip-hop beats and spoken word by competing turntablists.” 

But he always brings us back to the Cello Suites in all of their richness, power and subtlety. “The genre may be baroque, but there are multiple personalities and mood swings within the suites,” he writes. “I hear barnstorming peasant tunes and post-modern minimalism, spiritual lamentations and heavy metal riffs, medieval jigs and spy movie soundtracks.”  He even detects a “Hebraic musical phrase” in the prelude of the fourth suite, and he speculates that Bach might have heard strains of Jewish music when wandering into the trade fair in Leipzig “to purchase, say, a pipe from a Jewish tobacco merchant.”

Jonathan Kirsch is the book editor of The Jewish Journal and blogs on books at ‘The Cello Suites’ brings music to life Read More »

Dubai: We’ll go after Netanyahu if Mossad killed Hamas man

We will issue a warrant for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s arrest if it turns out Israeli intelligence was behind last month’s killing of a Hamas strongman, Army Radio quoted Dubai’s police commissioner on Thursday.

Dubai’s police chief Dahi Halfan referred to the January 20 assassination of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, who was reportedly responsible for the smuggling of Iranian arms to Gaza.

“Benjamin Netanyahu, the Israeli prime minister, will be the first to be wanted for justice as he would have been the one who signed the decision to assassinate [Mahmoud] al Mabhouh in Dubai. We will issue an arrest warrant against him,” Halfan told the U.A.E. site The National.

Read the full story at HAARETZ.com.

Dubai: We’ll go after Netanyahu if Mossad killed Hamas man Read More »

Israeli group sets up school in Haiti

An Israeli organization has set up a provisional school in Haiti.

An Israeli delegation in Port-au-Prince from the Natan Israeli Coalition for International Humanitarian Aid set up the school in a large tent in coordination with the Haitian government and the Dominican Republic, Ynet reported Thursday.

Children searched through the rubble and found chalk boards, books and notebooks for the school, according to the Israeli news site.

The organization recruited teachers in the camps set up for homeless Haitians following the devastating Jan. 12 earthquake. The teachers were trained in how to deal with the children’s traumas.

Israeli group sets up school in Haiti Read More »

Marry Him? Author Lori Gottlieb tells women to ‘settle!’

Essayist and novelist Lori Gottlieb has a new book out with some tart advice for picky single women: “Settle!”

Just like that.

But while the book and her 2008 essay in The Atlantic have generated some heated controversy, the question on everybody’s mind is: What’s this single woman doing doling out marital advice? On The Today Show this morning, anchor Meredith Vieira asked Gottlieb point blank if she had found “Mr. Good Enough.”

Gottlieb eschewed an answer. 

Of course, those of us who have read the book know that the closest Gottlieb got to Mr. GE was a two-month dating relationship with Sheldon, a man with a fondness for bowties. Unfortunately logistical complications drove them apart (he moved to Chicago) and Gottlieb is still single, still searching.

Here she talks about the importance of shared values, why falling in love doesn’t necessarily lead to a healthy marriage and why she blames feminism for messing up her love life.

Jewish Journal: Your book “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” makes the argument that women who want to get married and have children should give up their search for Mr. Right and settle.

Lori Gottlieb: I’m not asking women to stop looking for Mr. Right. I’m asking them to change their perception of who Mr. Right is. Women have to understand that what is actually going to make them happy in a marital relationship is very different than what will make them happy in a dating relationship.

JJ: Describe what you mean by settling.

LG: Settling is what our culture defines as getting less than everything we want. We think that settling is compromising our soul. But what most people consider settling is actually like the catch — the ‘8.’ I would never tell anybody to marry the loser schlub — that’s truly settling.

JJ: Are you saying that women should lower their expectations and look for a good partner rather than their romantic ideal?

LG: I don’t think they should lower their expectations at all. I think they need to look for qualities that are important — like shared values, kindness, responsibility — character things.

JJ: Choosing a partner based on values and not instant chemistry makes a pretty convincing case for arranged marriage, don’t you think?

LG: The lesson we can learn from arranged marriage is that the important things have to be there; whereas in our culture we think ‘We’re so in love, so of course we’re going to agree on how we raise the kids and run the household.’

JJ: Your 2008 essay in The Atlantic, which inspired the book, suggested that women shouldn’t worry about passion or intense connection. That doesn’t make relationships sound very appealing on a romantic level.

LG: True love develops over time. You may not have those butterflies on the first or second date. And a lot of us, if we don’t have it right then and there, give up. You do have to have passion and excitement at a certain point, but you have to give somebody a chance. People aren’t getting divorced because they settled; the divorce rate is high because people are marrying in this high state of chemistry and realize 10, 15 years later that they’re not compatible.

JJ: Why do you think people have reacted so vehemently to your message?

LG: I think it makes people really uncomfortable to hear a highly educated, very sophisticated woman saying, ‘You know, I’m really, really sad that I’m not married.’

JJ: You’ve compared marriage to a ‘boring nonprofit business.’ Why would anybody want that?

LG: It’s not that marriage is so boring, it’s that life is not this constant high of thrills and pixie dust. Marriage is about finding somebody that you want to go through life with — it’s not just about going Rollerblading together and we read the same books and we like ‘This American Life.’

JJ: Was your parents’ marriage a model for you?

LG: My parents have been married for 45 years, maybe more. It’s hard to compare our parents’ marriages [to the ones we’re looking for] because gender roles were so different then. Theirs is a traditional, ’50s kind of marriage, and women today are looking for a more egalitarian marriage when it comes to gender roles.

JJ: You’ve openly blamed feminism for the fact that women have impossible standards and a you-can-have-it-all sense of entitlement when it comes to finding a partner.

LG: Feminism as a social movement is a great thing, but feminism never wrote a dating manual. It never said this you-can-have-it-all thing can apply to your partner. A lot of us got tripped up by misapplying some of the empowerment of feminism into the realm of dating.

JJ: Some people have called your position antifeminist — and even ageist — for suggesting that single women over 35 are basically doomed, because, either there aren’t enough single men to go around, men that age prefer younger women or the older available men come with loads of unpleasant baggage.

LG: There is a reverse power curve. And women can be in denial and pretend the world doesn’t work that way, but we can’t change certain fundamental things about the way men and women are attracted to each other. I always found it unbelievably offensive that men had this thing about dating younger women, but if I could date men who were younger and had less baggage and were more appealing in that way, I totally would. It’s not so much that men are superficial and want women under 35 because they’re more attractive; the real issue for men is that they want biological families.

JJ: You do get that there’s a part of this that’s really scary and depressing for women of a certain age?

LG: Oh yeah! Oh, believe me, I get that. In the first third of the book I’m really getting hopeless about the whole situation. But what I came to realize was that as scary as it might seem, I’d rather look at the data so that I can make more informed choices.

JJ: Wouldn’t a man be offended to know you’ve settled for him? Wouldn’t he rather be the man of your dreams?

LG: Mr. Good Enough is the man of my dreams.

Marry Him? Author Lori Gottlieb tells women to ‘settle!’ Read More »

Israel’s Lieberman challenges Syria threats

Israeli Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman challenged what he called “blatant threats” by Syria against his country.

Lieberman, speaking of President Bashar Assad, said if Syria goes to war with Israel, “not only will you lose the war, you and your family will no longer be in power.”

The Israeli official made the remarks Thursday during a speech at a business conference at Bar-Ilan University.

His comments came following Assad’s assertion Wednesday during a news conference in Damascus with Spanish Foreign Minister Miguel Moratinos that Israel is “pushing the region towards war” and that Israel “is not serious about achieving peace.”

Assad’s comments came hours after Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Moallem said that “Israel knows that if it declares war on Syria, such a war will reach its cities as well.”

Lieberman called Moallem’s remarks a “blatant threat against Israel.” He said that Syria “has crossed a red line, and we cannot ignore this.”

On Tuesday, Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak told a group of senior Israeli officers that Israel must resume peace talks with Syria because otherwise a full-blown war with Syria was in the offing.

Lieberman said he supports peace with Syria as long as Israel can retain the Golan Heights.

“Syria must understand that it has to let go of the demand for the Golan, in the same way that it gave up on the Greater Syria dream,” said Lieberman.

Leaders of Israeli government opposition parties decried Lieberman’s threats to Syria, calling him a “warmonger” and “irresponsible.”

Following Lieberman’s address Thursday, Prime MInister Benjamin Netanyahu instructed Cabinet Secretary Tzvi Hauser to call all government ministers and order them not to make any Syria-related comments.

Israel’s Lieberman challenges Syria threats Read More »

iMussolini withdrawn following legal threat

The iPhone application featuring a collection of speeches by Benito Mussolini has been withdrawn following legal threats and protests by Jewish groups.

iMussolini, Italy’s best-selling iPhone application, was withdrawn Thursday.

Holocaust survivors had described the application featuring Italy’s World War II fascist dictator as “offensive,” according to reports.

The film group Cinecitta Luce, which holds the rights to the films of the Mussolini speeches used in the app, threatened legal action, saying the app did not serve the educational purposes for which the clips were designated.

Luigi Marino, who developed iMussolini, told the BBC he plans to put iMussolini back on the iPhone app download list when the matter is cleared up.

iMussolini, which sold for about $1.10 on the Italian iTunes store, was launched Jan. 21, just days ahead of Italy’s annual Holocaust Remembrance Day commemoration on Jan. 27.

Subtitled “the man who changed the history of our country,” iMussolini topped the iPhone app download list. The app contains audio, video and text of more than 100 speeches dating back to 1914.

Mussolini came to power in Italy in 1922. Under his rule, Italy became a close ally of Nazi Germany; Mussolini’s regime introduced harsh anti-Semitic legislation in 1938.

“It is a disgrace and a surrender to crass commercialism that the Apple computing company has approved the release of this ‘app’ through their online iTunes store,” Elan Steinberg, vice president of the American Gathering of Holocaust Survivors and their Descendants, said last week in a statement. “This is an insult to the memory of all victims of Nazism and Fascism, Jew and non-Jew, and should be condemned for its offense to decency and conscience.”

On the iTunes page, Marino wrote that iMussolini was a “history-related application” that “does not celebrate Fascism,” as it was simply a collection of original speeches.

iMussolini withdrawn following legal threat Read More »