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November 16, 2009

Acts of Charity and Kindness

One year ago, when I came to consciousness in the hospital after a car accident, I was surrounded by family, clients, Hollywood friends and the Hollywood Jewish community who had maintained a presence at my side davening, learning and praying for me – one year later I have survived, am at home, working full time and continuing to learn with Torah buddies and my rabbis, Olivia, Schlomo and Mendel Schwartz of the Chai Center located in Mar Vista.  The Schwartzes have just suffered the death of a grand child in Jerusalem, three year old Shula who was killed in a freaky car accident.

When I awoke a year ago it was on my birthday and I was given a party by loved ones accompanied by gifts, cards, hugs, crying, laughter and I truly felt the love and still do.

Next week the Schwartzes are having a memorial for their granddaughter called Shloshim.  In honor of my birthday this year, I would like to request those who can to please give a check to the Chai Center in Shula’s name.  If you are unable to send a check to the Chai Center please study Torah in her name, or make a commitment to do acts of kindness and friendship in her name – and wish me a happy birthday and long life as you do. 

Shavuah Tov.

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‘Twilight: New Moon’ smashing advance ticket sales records

If you’re not in on the “Twilight” phenomenon, get with it! Because you might not understand the huge significance of a bestselling series written by a stay-at-home mom/first time author (with scripts penned by a Jewish screenwriter) becoming the biggest global franchise since “Star Wars.” Wait…what? Did she really just say that? “Star Wars” is one of the most successful film franchises of all time!

Yes, that’s right. And “New Moon,” the second installment in “The Twilight Saga” just beat out “Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” as the no. 1 advance online ticket seller of all time, according to Fandango.

Think it’s just a silly tween vampire movie?

According to Time Magazine, author Stephenie Meyer has sold 45 million books in the U.S. and 40 million more worldwide. Her books have spent 235 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list, 136 of them at No. 1. The movie version of Twilight, which came out a year ago, made $350 million, Time reports, though other figures clock in at more than $380 million. Right now, as Nikki Finke reports, fans are camping out in Westwood awaiting tonight’s “New Moon” premiere.

This excerpt from Time’s review of the first film deftly points out the timeless, age-blind appeal of “Twilight”:

Defiantly old-fashioned, the film wants viewers to believe not so much in vampires as in the existence of an anachronistic movie notion: a love that is convulsive and ennobling. Bella could be any Hollywood heroine in love with a good boy whom society callously misunderstands. She’s Natalie Wood to Edward’s James Dean (in Rebel Without a Cause) or Richard Beymer (in West Side Story). Cathy, meet Heathcliff. Juliet, Romeo.

This brand of fervid romance packed ‘em in for the first 60 years of feature films, then went nearly extinct, replaced by the young-male fetishes of space toys and body-function humor. Twilight says to heck with that. It jettisons facetiousness for a liturgical solemnity, and hardware for soft lips. It revives the precept that there’s nothing more cinematic than a close-up of two beautiful people about to kiss.

A recent article in the magazine aptly titled “It’s ‘Twilight’ in America” beautifully (and somewhat appallingly) explains how the franchise’s success irrevocably alters the lives of its stars, who in this case, have gone from unknown to the world’s most rabidly consumed faces:

At the heart of all this are Stewart and Pattinson, who have gone from obscurity straight to superstardom. People wait for them outside buildings. People try to follow them home. “In Vancouver shooting New Moon, I tried something,” Pattinson says. “It’s the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. If you’re wearing a hood, you’re going to mug people. So I wore a hood, and then I’d sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you’re walking. Everyone moved to the other side of the street.”

If there’s an irony to the success of Twilight, it’s this: life as the idol at the white-hot center of the hottest entertainment franchise in the world isn’t that much different from being a vampire. Pattinson has become the immortal object of global fandom’s hopeless yearnings. What began deep in Meyer’s unconscious mind has become Pattinson and Stewart’s reality. They’re living the dream.

Read my interview with “The Twilight Saga” screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg here

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TV show on North Valley JCC shooting

  The Investigation Discovery cable channel will dramatize the 1999 shooting at the North Valley Jewish Jewish Community Center at 9 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 18.
  White supremacist Buford O. Furroiw, Jr. shot and wounded five children and adults in the attack on the center and subsequently killed mail carrier Joseph Santo Ileto.
  The hour-long program is part of the Investigation Discovery (Channel 221 on Time-Warner cable) program “The Bureau,” which profiles the work of the FBI.

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One Man’s Illness Works to Myeloma’s Benefit

“Tonight we’ve heard from a small Jew, a medium-sized Jew, and now we’re about to hear from the world’s biggest Jew,” comedian Ray Romano cracked to an auditorium full of Hollywood bigwigs.

Brad Garrett, who is a striking 6 feet 8 1/2 inches tall, sauntered onto the stage.

“Jews come in all sizes,” Garrett announced, peering down at his crotch.

Laughter erupted.

Jewish jokes, racial slurs, sex rants — everything was fodder at the International Myeloma Foundation’s third annual Comedy Celebration on Nov. 7, held at the Wilshire Ebell Theatre and headlined by a handful of the most talented comics in showbiz, including host Romano, Garrett, Jimmy Kimmel, Bob Saget, Fred Willard and Doris Roberts. Film star Jack Black appeared with his Tenacious D bandmate Kyle Gass to play a set of absurdist rock.

There were even “no-you-didn’t” jokes about cancer.

“There are many agents I wish cancer on, but Steve is not one of them,” Jimmy Kimmel said, referring to his first agent, Steve Weiss, who along with his wife, Amy, served as the evening’s co-chairs.

Over the course of their 12-year marriage, Steve and Amy have become a Hollywood power couple. Steve, who now works independently, had a 35-year career at the former William Morris Agency, where he specialized in television packaging for shows like “Murphy Brown” and represented writers (his father, Lou Weiss, helped build the agency, having served as chairman emeritus until his retirement in 2007, after 70 years with the company). Amy, who has a law degree, is the executive vice president of Brillstein Entertainment Partners, one of the industry’s leading management firms (they rep Brad Pitt and Adam Sandler) and is also a talent manager for clients Courtney Cox, Meat Loaf, Tom Skerritt and “Mad About You” creator Danny Jacobson, among others. 

This time last year, Steve was in the hospital undergoing a stem cell transplant after being diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a bone marrow cancer that is presently considered incurable. So when Dr. Brian Durie, an oncologist at Cedars-Sinai as well as the co-founder and chairman of the International Myeloma Foundation (IMF), asked the couple to chair this year’s benefit, Amy threw herself into a fundraising frenzy. She was relentless, practically badgering her Hollywood colleagues from CBS to HBO to CAA to support the cause. And she didn’t stop there: several pharmaceutical companies, including Celgene and Genentech also ponied up for myeloma.

It paid off: By the Monday morning after the event, donations had surpassed $700,000. The same Hollywood that has lately been wringing their pockets over lost advertising, fallen DVD sales and Internet piracy had provided an outpouring of support. To their surprise, the Weiss’ personal tragedy brought out the charitable side of an industry.

“What I find the entertainment community responds to are personal pleas,” Amy said in a telephone interview from her office. “I had a story to tell; I could put a face to the illness.”

“Groups come together to support their own,” Steve added. “Everybody gets affected by these things. Anybody can get sick.”

For the Weisses, the story began one morning in May 2008, when Steve went to the doctor to have his cholesterol checked. After a brief test, the doctor gave him the news: his cholesterol was the lowest it had ever been, but his protein levels were unusually high. The doctor ordered more tests. A week later, Steve was diagnosed with myeloma.

At the time, Steve and Amy had never heard of myeloma.

“When they said ‘multiple’ myeloma, I was like, ‘Wow, how much worse is that?’” Steve recalled.

“I actually passed out when we got the diagnosis,” Amy said. “I had felt that life was so wonderful at that moment, and I could not believe what I was now looking at.”

In 1993, the year she moved from New York to Los Angeles to work for Disney, Amy lost her mother to lymphona and was terrified of a repeat. Steve began treatment with a variety of drugs, including Revlimid, which without insurance can cost up to $8,000 per month.

As often happens with serious illness, Steve’s diagnosis impelled the couple to take stock of their lives. Both are prominent players in the Hollywood community; they realized they had been incredibly fortunate, but also considerably insulated from some of life’s difficult realities.

“It’s really kind of a wake-up call,” Steve said about his diagnosis. “You dealt with all those people, you enjoyed the perks and all of that — what meaning does it have? You start to realize what is really of value in life. The Los Angeles Hollywood community is kind of a big bubble that separates us from a lot of realities.”

Yet when it comes to raising awareness about a cause, few people in the world can attract public attention the way Hollywood can.

“We were able to use our relationships,” Amy said. “This bubble of Hollywood that separates you from the real world has a tremendous reach to the rest of the world.”

“A lot of times people think celebrities are self-absorbed, and all I can say in my experience with this benefit is that I reached out to the heads of studios, heads of networks, heads of agencies, and without fail the support was there,” Amy added.

Clients and friends flew in from all over the country. Entertainment colleagues donated money and volunteered their time. Some of the comedians, Amy said, canceled paying gigs to appear at the event. And the red carpet saw its share of big names, including a pregnant Jenna Elfman, rock stars Joe Walsh from Eagles and Jeff Lynne from Electric Light Orchestra, as well as Blythe Danner.

“A lot of this was the Jewish community,” Amy said. “And Jewish people by nature are charitable.”

The Weisses have a close relationship with Rabbi Mark Borovitz, the rabbi at Congregation Beit T’Shuvah, a rehabilitation community for recovering addicts. Every week, Steve, his father and his brothers, Jeffrey and Evan, who are also in entertainment, study Torah with the rabbi, and, Steve said, Borovitz donated money for the benefit.

“This reaches deep, I guess, because we’re Jewish,” Steve said. “One of the things our rabbi has taught us is about tzedakah and being able to give. My client, Jill Zarin, [who stars on the reality series, ‘The Real Housewives of New York,’] has a book coming out called ‘Advice From a Jewish Mother,’ and one of the things she writes in the book is ‘You can’t keep it if you don’t give it away’ — and that’s something I learned growing up in a Jewish home.”

While Amy was “shameless in her pursuit” to raise money — she tactfully persuaded some of the bigwigs to give by suggesting everyone else was in, and she didn’t want to see them “embarrassed” — Steve took a back seat to all that. “My whole career was asking for more money and more money, and I don’t like doing that,” he said.

“Even though I’m the one that asked for the money, it was all because of him that people gave,” Amy insisted. “This was a mission for me. There was a specific, clear-cut goal, and that is to find a cure for multiple myeloma and to find one in my husband’s lifetime. I treasure our marriage. I treasure our life together. He is my best friend, and I want to grow old with him.”

There are, of course, days when the challenges of living with myeloma take a toll. But overall, the experience has been positive.

“There are opportunities where you see the best and worst of people,” Amy said. “For me, this was about the best of people.”

Steve saw the best in his wife: “She can basically do anything,” he said. “She’s my hero.”

Even on a three-way phone call, the couple shares a romantic moment.

“Steve knows without question that I am 100 percent there for him at all times and forever,” Amy said. “There’s not even a question.”

“But,” Steve added, “If you put it in print, I’d appreciate it.”

To donate to the International Myeloma Foundation, visit One Man’s Illness Works to Myeloma’s Benefit Read More »

Adding prayer services to healthcare bill

It seems most the coverage of the healthcare-reform bill has focused on the abortion amendment hailed as a “major pro-life victory.” But this provision, mentions by the Los Angeles Times, is worth giving a second glance:

The measure would put Christian Science prayer treatments—which substitute for or supplement medical treatments—on the same footing as clinical medicine. While not mentioning the church by name, it would prohibit discrimination against “religious and spiritual healthcare.”

It would have a minor effect on the overall cost of the bill—Christian Science is a small church, and the prayer treatments can cost as little as $20 a day. But it has nevertheless stirred an intense controversy over the constitutional separation of church and state, and the possibility that other churches might seek reimbursements for so-called spiritual healing.

Phil Davis, a senior Christian Science Church official, said prayer treatment was an effective alternative to conventional healthcare.

“We are making the case for this, believing there is a connection between healthcare and spirituality,” said Davis, who distributed 11,000 letters last week to Senate officials urging support for the measure.

“We think this is an important aspect of the solution, when you are talking about not only keeping the cost down, but finding effective healthcare,” he said.

The provision would apply only to insurance policies offered on a proposed exchange where consumers could shop for plans that meet standards set by the government.

But critics say the measure could have a broader effect, conferring new status and medical legitimacy on practices that lie outside the realm of science.

Annie Laurie Gaylor, co-president of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, a group of atheists and agnostics that promotes separation of church and state, said the opportunity to receive payment for spiritual care could encourage other groups to seek similar status.

“This would be an absolute invitation to organize,” Gaylor said.

The Times seems to suggest that this would be a problem. Maybe it would be, but I like what Michael McConnell, who heads the Stanford University Constitutional Law Center, had to say:

“as long as patients are the ones who choose, and religious choices are given no legal preference or advantage, the proposals would appear to be consistent with constitutional standards.”

Regardless, it’s not clear whether this provision will make it through the Senate, which is now working on its version of the healthcare reform bill passed by the House.

Adding prayer services to healthcare bill Read More »

Jumpstart Nurtures Innovation, Focused on Social Entrepreneurs

Noble goals are not always enough to sustain a nonprofit, and ideas lose momentum when the realities of money and practicality come into play. The road to a failed nonprofit is paved with good intentions, to paraphrase the axiom.

Enter Jewish Jumpstart, a one-stop shop for Jewish social entrepreneurs, whose mission is to act as an incubator, catalyst, think tank and advocate for sustainable Jewish innovation.

The innovation begins with Joshua Avedon and Shawn Landres, co-founders of Jumpstart, who started the project in 2008 after their work with Synagogue 2000 — now Synagogue 3000 — brought to light the gap between Jewish entrepreneurs with benevolent ideas and those ideas actually coming to fruition. Since beginning this venture, Landres has been named one of The Forward 50, demonstrating that Jewish professionals are paying attention to Jumpstart’s initial vision.

Earlier this year Avedon and Landres released a report, based on the 2008 Survey of New Jewish Organizations, which demonstrates the importance of nurturing Jewish nonprofit startups. The Jumpstart report, “The Innovation Ecosystem: Emergence of a New Jewish Landscape,” published in partnership with The Natan Fund and The Samuel Bronfman Foundation, shows that more than 325 innovative nonprofit startups are not a fringe phenomenon, but are the leading edge of the American Jewish community’s transition into the 21st century.

“We have to raise the visibility of this sector,” Avedon said. “You can’t do that by just tinkering at the edges of it; you have to really be willing to change the conversation.”

Following this year’s shuttering due to financial problems of the Professional Leaders Project (PLP), an L.A.-based national nonprofit that recruited and trained future Jewish leaders, and a shrinking pool of funds — due in part to the recession and the impact of the Bernard Madoff $50 billion Ponzi scheme — Jewish nonprofit startups are facing greater hurdles than ever before.

The pressure is on Jumpstart, a startup in its own right, to move beyond rhetoric and into action.

Jumpstart’s daily operations are currently focused on offering strategic support to groups and getting the conversation rolling by holding forums.

Maital Guttman, co-founder of L.A. Moishe House, has attended several Jumpstart workshops and hopes to work with the organization in the future. But she says the burden is now on Avedon and Landres to take their vision to the next level and make it a reality.

“There’s a lot of potential, and for them to provide incubation and mentorship would be critical,” she said. “But they have to prove themselves now.”

Without PLP, Guttman says, there is added pressure on Jumpstart to fill the void.

“I think because they [the PLP] no longer exist, there’s an even greater need for support for young Jewish entrepreneurs and leaders,” she said.

Jumpstart believes there’s a need for Los Angeles to have a network of Jewish entrepreneurs and thinkers, the way San Francisco and New York do. Avedon and Landres are of the mind that Los Angeles has the potential to be an incubator for organizations that have yet to reach their full potential.

Although they admit the economic crisis came at an unfortunate time for their endeavor, the pair remains optimistic and asserts that poor economic conditions actually shed light on the importance of organizations like Jumpstart and the nonprofits they support.

“L.A. is the most creative place in the country,” Avedon said. “We’re sitting on top of a kind of oil well of innovation that just hasn’t been tapped yet.”

They believe that collaborations among different organizations and the potential for connections could help fill the gaps they see.

“I think we’ll be able to make L.A. … a destination for Jewish innovators,” Landres added.

Jumpstart’s founders said they will work with Jewish nonprofits, philanthropists and foundations that support innovation, and organizations that want to foster innovations and entrepreneurs. Avedon and Landres step in to help with problems that occur when there’s no clear direction post-startup.

“There’s a missing piece in this pipeline of innovation, and Jumpstart is looking to fill that hole,” Avedon said.

Jumpstart has raised more than $500,000, which includes funding from The Natan Fund and a three-year $250,000 Cutting Edge grant from the Jewish Community Foundation it received in October.

The men describe their day-to-day duties as threefold. The first part of their jobs consists of talking directly to individuals, helping them make business arrangements and decisions, and generally providing assistance to new start-ups.

The second facet of Jumpstart is conducting research on an organization’s area of expertise. By studying the inner workings of the businesses they advise and the relationships between them, Avedon and Landres say they are better equipped to offer quality assistance and sound suggestions. “This validates the work we’re doing,” Landres said.

The final piece of their work is making and hosting public presentations on the subject, which allow them to open up dialogue and inspire thought and action. These forums have included helping coordinate a meeting at the White House between Jewish social entrepreneurs and Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships representatives; two professional development workshops at the ROI Global Summit for Young Jewish Leaders in Israel this past summer; and a Nov. 19 forum in Los Angeles, “Transforming the Landscape: Social Entrepreneurship’s Impact on the Jewish Community.”

Although both Avedon and Landres are partners in this venture, they divide up duties as director of strategic initiatives and director of research, respectively. Jumpstart has also teamed up with Community Partners, a Southern California-based nonprofit incubator. Together they have launched The Project Partnership, “the first full-service fiscal sponsor for Jewish initiatives,” and through that collaboration Avedon and Landres are able to offer both their expertise and a well-established organization’s infrastructure to their clients.

“They had everything they needed in the way of effective outreach and the instincts themselves. What they lacked was a kind of infrastructure we spent 18 years building. [I thought] maybe there’s a way we can lend this infrastructure and [they] can do what [they] do so well and not have to invest right off,” Community Partners’ president and CEO Paul Vandeventer said.

While monetary and technical assistance tend to be more concrete sources of support for entrepreneurs, Vandeventer said Avedon and Landres are well beyond the average social entrepreneurs.

“Rarely do I see two people as oriented and grounded as they are, as intellectually adept at understanding the opportunities for innovation and as committed and credible in the community they keep,” he said.

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Unprecedented Shortage of Jewish Little Brothers

Jason Ramin is eagerly waiting to be matched to a Little Brother by Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles. The 24-year-old marketing consultant and Beverly Hills resident envisions taking his Little Brother to Magic Mountain, to the movie theater or just hanging out, providing him with a positive male role model.

“I would not be the person I am today if I didn’t have my dad,” he said.

Ramin, however, has been waiting more than 11 months for a Little Brother, a process that normally takes only a couple of months. For the first time in the history of the agency, which was founded in 1915, there is a shortage of Little Brothers. The private, nonprofit agency has historically had a shortage of Little Sisters, President and CEO Margy Feldman said.

There are 23 confirmed and trained Big Brothers and 28 confirmed and trained Big Sisters as of Oct. 31, plus another 14 “in the pipeline,” Feldman said. And currently only four children are awaiting matches.

Feldman attributes the unprecedented shortage, which she traces back to April 2009, to the fact that single mothers, who predominantly initiate the request for a Big Brother, are overwhelmed with basic necessities — working, caring for their children and managing a household. “It could be that they see having a Big Brother as a luxury,” she said, adding that the agency does cross-gender matching.

Generally, Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles makes about 80 new matches a year. They are based on compatibility, including levels of Jewish observance and geographical proximity. This year, with less than two months remaining, only 47 matches have been finalized. That brings the agency’s total number of this year’s new and ongoing matches to 198.

To qualify as a Little Brother or Little Sister, a child must be age 6 or older and Jewish or being raised Jewish. Often the father or other male figure is absent from the family. The child could also have a challenging family situation, such as a disabled sibling, and benefit from having a Big Brother or Big Sister as a special friend. Additionally, a same-sex couple could request a Big Brother or Big Sister to provide an adult mentor of the opposite sex.

And while the majority of Little Brothers and Little Sisters come from disadvantaged circumstances, it’s not a prerequisite. Additionally, there is no cost.

A Little Brother or Little Sister generally meets with the Big Brother or Big Sister twice a month, for a couple of hours each visit. The relationship can continue until the child turns 21, with many lasting an entire lifetime.

The benefits for a Little Brother or Little Sister, according to a study done by the nonprofit organization Public/Private Ventures in 1995, “Making a Difference: An Impact Study of Big Brothers/Big Sisters,” are significant: 52 percent are less likely to skip school, 46 percent are less likely to begin using drugs, 27 percent are less likely to begin drinking and 33 percent are less likely to act out violently toward others.

Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles is one of only three Jewish Big Brother Big Sister programs nationally that are affiliated with Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and that require the Little Brothers and Little Sisters to identify as Jewish. (Locally, because of a prior arrangement with Catholic Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles and with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Los Angeles, the organization accepts only Jewish children or those being raised Jewish.)

The Jewish Big Brother Big Sister program in Baltimore is not seeing a shortage of Little Brothers, though the waiting list is not as huge as it’s been, according to Beth Hecht, senior manager for volunteer services of Jewish Community Services. In Cleveland, The Jewish Big Brother Big Sister Association has been experiencing a shortage of both Little and Big Brothers over the past six months and an increase of Little and Big Sisters. “I don’t know why,” said Rachel Duber, the program’s executive director.

On the local nondenominational level, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Los Angeles and the Inland Empire is not experiencing a shortage of Little Brothers, President and CEO John Malcolm said. Rather, the agency is always grappling with an insufficient number of males, particularly men of color.

Meanwhile, Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles is getting out the word, which is challenging in the far-reaching Los Angeles Jewish community.

“We don’t know how to find a lot of people who need our services as they don’t necessarily go to temple,” Feldman said. “But we know they’re out there.”

For more information or to refer a child as a Little Brother or Little Sister, contact Susan Berk at (323) 761-8675, ext. 220, or visit Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles at jbbbsla.org.

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When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Giving

I think I may have hit a new low. It felt as if I was channeling my parents as I heard myself complaining about how I miss the “good old days” — when people actually wrote me letters and cards, rather than texting me on my cell or sending online evites to parties and events. Call me old fashioned, but there’s something nice about opening up a letter and reading a handwritten note from a friend. Nowadays, the only thing that fills my mailbox are bills and a host of requests for donations from organizations in need of help.

Over the past few years, those requests have grown exponentially, especially in light of the economic crisis that our country has been living through. Unemployment is at a record high, the housing market has suffered a devastating blow, and many Americans have lost their homes, medical coverage and confidence that they will be able to hold their lives and families together. All of which makes me feel more responsible to give to worthy organizations that are struggling to keep their doors open to the many who need their help.

Which leads me to ask some hard questions about charitable giving: How much should I give? Should it be related to the amount I earn? How do I prioritize my gifts? Should I support Jewish organizations first and then donate to other charities after, if I have anything left? Should I give up something I enjoy — a dinner out, theater tickets, a trip — to make a more substantial contribution this year? 

There is no word for charity in Hebrew. Instead, we speak of tzedakah, which literally means “righteousness.” Tzedakah is the counterpart to tikkun olam, the Jewish obligation to act as God’s partner in repairing the world. Both affirm our responsibility to distribute a part of what we have to take care of others because our own wealth is viewed, not as a right or entitlement, but as a form of responsibility and stewardship to care for the world. The Torah teaches: “If there is a needy person among you, any of your brethren in any of your cities in the Land that God has given you, you shall not harden your heart or close your hand against him. Rather, you shall open your hand and lend him whatever he is lacking” (Deuteronomy 15:7-8).

Jewish law is fairly specific in its answer to the question of the amount we should give. Maimonides established specific parameters for giving: 10 percent is average, 20 percent is ideal, but we should not give more, so that we don’t become impoverished ourselves.

But 10 percent of what — gross pay, net income, your entire estate? While there are differing opinions, it is generally accepted that maaser (tithing) is calculated based on net income. Think of it like this: God is your business partner, and you can deduct the same business expenses, such as income and sales taxes, insurance payments and travel expenses, that you would in any legal partnership. If you want to learn more, you can go online and find a maaser calculator to figure it out.

In terms of prioritizing our gifts, the general rule is that “the poor of your own town come before the poor of any other town,” but priority is given to the poor living in the land of Israel. We start with our own family, town and community and then reach out into the larger world, which includes Jews and non-Jews alike. The Talmud specifically recognizes that any needy person who lives peacefully with us is worthy of charity because of the “ways of peace.”

Another bit of wisdom comes from the Chofetz Chaim, a pious 19th century rabbi and ethicist, who taught that it is better to give smaller sums frequently than a lump sum annually, in order to encourage us to regularly think about the needs of others.

But does giving tzedakah have to hurt? Should I be required to give up something I want in order to make a meaningful gift? The answer is no, and yes. To give in a Jewish way is to act out of a sense of justice and responsibility — not guilt or dread. Jews neither give because it feels good, nor until it hurts. We are obligated to give because the need exists. But if we have committed to giving by making a pledge, either privately (in our own minds) or publicly, we are obligated to fulfill it even it if “hurts.”

Moses offered the Israelites a wonderful piece of wisdom when he told them to bring gifts to build the Tabernacle: “Take from among you gifts to the Lord: everyone whose heart so moves him shall bring them …” (Exodus 35:5). When we give, Jewish tradition asks that we give from our hearts — because it is from our hearts that we need to lead, rather than our heads. When we look upon the world with heartfelt compassion, we are more inclined to see the real needs of others and make a gift that is truly meaningful.

During our lives we will have times when our income may be limited or our resources depleted. An unexpected tragedy, the loss of a job, or an illness can reduce our estate such that it seems nearly impossible to give. But tzedakah is an “equal opportunity mitzvah” and applies to everyone, no matter how much or how little we have. If we are unable to give of our money, we can give of our time, talents, wisdom and compassion. That is why our sages assured us that everyone is capable of giving, when they said: “To the one who is eager to give, God provides the means.”

Amy Hirshberg Lederman is an award-winning, nationally syndicated columnist, author, Jewish educator, public speaker and attorney. Her book, “One God, Many Paths: Finding Meaning and Inspiration in Jewish Teachings” (Wheatmark, 2008) is available at When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Giving Read More »

Orthodox rabbinical student wins boxing title

Good thing it’s getting dark early these days. Saturday night, after Shabbat had ended, Yuri Foreman won the WBA junior middleweight crown—after 12 rounds becoming the first Israeli to grab a boxing title belt:

“Before I entered the ring my wife, Leyla, told me: ‘Yuri, can I ask you something? Do me a favor, finish it quickly with a knockout,’” he told his father. “I knew why she asked me this, I knew it’s hard for her to see me in a fight long enough to take several blows. I also thought I wanted to end it with a knockout.”

Foreman told his father how he prayed and said Pslams until he had his rival on the ropes, losing his balance. “I saw him wobbling,” he said. “I knew another blow or two and I would send him to the floor and win with a knockout, but then the bell sounded, ending the round and saving him.”

Foreman is a rare combination of power and smarts. He comes from a poor family that immigrated to Israel after the collapse of the Soviet Union. His father works in Haifa as a mechanic, but Yuri moved to New York nearly a decade ago. A few years later, he began studying in a Brooklyn yeshiva to become an ordained Orthodox rabbi.

He has a very strict schedule, studying Torah in the morning and doing intense physical training both inside and out of the ring in the afternoon. He does a lot of weight lifting, running and fitness training.

I previously mentioned Foreman in a post about boxing’s Jewish history. It’s rich. Just like basketball.

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For the Disabled, Birthright Trips Extra Meaningful

Pamela Saeks thought her daughter Karly, who has Asperger’s syndrome, would never be able to go on Birthright Israel, the program that offers Diaspora Jews free trips to Israel.

“For years she has been so frustrated that she can’t be like other kids and go on an organized trip to Israel,” Saeks said.

But, in December Karly will embark on a 10-day Birthright trip tailored for individuals with Asperger’s, a form of high-functioning autism. The trip will take her from the shores of the Dead Sea to the verdant plateau of the Golan Heights.

The trip is organized in partnership with Shorashim, an organization aimed at strengthening ties between the Diaspora and Israel, and KOACH, the college outreach group of the Conservative movement.

It will be the fourth Birthright trip suited to meet the needs of people with Asperger’s.

The Asperger’s trip is one of a number of specially tailored Birthright programs for those with disabilities. Birthright, which has brought some 220,000 Jews aged 18 to 26 to Israel since its inception in 2000, also runs trips for the hearing impaired, the developmentally disabled and wheelchair users, and has had one trip for blind participants.

By the end of 2009, at least 28 groups of people with special needs will have traveled to Israel on Birthright since 2003, according to Birthright.

The Birthright trips for the disabled visit all the major sites of a typical Birthright trip, but changes are made to suit the participants’ unique needs.

At Masada, they do not ascend to the ancient citadel via the rigorous serpentine trail. Instead, they tour the Roman ramparts at the bottom of the hill and take the cable car to the top.

At Yad Vashem, the Holocaust museum in Jerusalem, organizers highlight the persecution by the Nazis of people with disabilities. And Asperger’s trips hold discussions about the Nazis’ persecution of Eastern European Jewry in classrooms located next to the museum to provide a better environment for participants to absorb the information.

Despite their popularity, the frequency of Birthright trips for the disabled is limited due to budgetary constraints.

“It’s an expensive trip to run, and we can’t do it again,” said Hillel’s Director of Immersion Experience Andrea Hoffman of a trip for the mobile impaired. “People have asked us if we could get private funding, and we have a lot of requests.”

The costs of the trips for the disabled are higher for several reasons. Each group has a higher staff-to-participant ratio — one to three on the Asperger’s trip, for example, compared with one to 20 for regular Birthright trips.

In addition, some groups need specific and sometimes expensive facilities. Mobile-impaired groups need special buses that can accommodate more than 20 people in wheelchairs, and organizers have to scout every destination to make sure they are wheelchair accessible.

Laura Siegel, who went on a trip for the hearing impaired two summers ago, said the experience was transformative.

“I feel that this trip would leave a long-lasting impression for every deaf Jewish young adult out there in the United States, as it did for me,” Siegel wrote in an e-mail.

“We started out as strangers and ended up almost feeling like a family, and all it took was 10 days up close and personal sharing this amazing journey.”

Lior Baruch, an Israeli special-needs teacher who has escorted three Asperger’s trips and will take part in the one in December, said one moment during his last trip sticks out in his mind.

“A few hours after the group landed in Israel, they stood on the Armon Hanatziv promenade overlooking this view of Jerusalem,” Baruch recalled. “You could see the excitement in their eyes. Some took nonstop pictures. Others called their parents. It was a touching moment.”

Rabbi Elsye Winick, associate director of KOACH and one of the organizers of the Asperger’s trip, said that one of the most powerful moments on past trips came when her group met Israelis with Asperger’s.

“It was an eye-opening experience,” Winick said. “It was an experience to realize that on the other side of the world there were people just like them.”

Jeffery Odols, who is deaf and took part in a Birthright trip for the hearing impaired, raves about the experience. He said it included many memorable moments such as visiting the Bedouin in the Negev Desert and savoring the “wonderful shwarma and falafel.”

But the 22-year-old from Rochester, N.Y., said the trip’s highlight was the friendships he forged with other deaf and hearing-impaired participants.

“We learned so much from each other — our backgrounds, our struggles, our identities and our aspirations,” Odols wrote. “It was interesting observing personalities blend in together.”

After returning from the trip, Odols was inspired to enroll in a course in Middle Eastern studies. He said he hopes one day to help Israel improve its ties with its neighbors.

“Going on the Birthright trip actually opened my eyes,” he said.

To support Birthright Israel, visit Birthrightisrael.com.

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