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March 26, 2009

Mind-State Solution

I’m not sure, but I think I have a solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, or at least another way of looking at it. It hit me the other day after I broke bread at Pat’s Restaurant with some people connected to Americans for Peace Now, a leftist Jewish organization that actively promotes the two-state solution.

Now, you should know that whenever I hear the words “peace now,” something inside of me cringes. I have never understood how Israel could make peace now with an enemy that hates her no matter what she does.

Over the years, I’ve asked this question of a number of people across the ideological spectrum: “If Israel dismantled all the settlements in the West Bank tomorrow, would it stop Palestinian hostility and violence toward Israel?”

I never once got a yes.

Why? I think it’s because most people intuitively understand that dismantling settlements is not the same thing as dismantling hatred. The hatred that has been taught for years in Palestinian schools and summer camps, through television shows and billboards and in mosques is not just aimed at Jewish settlers but at all Jews and at all of Israel. This kind of hatred is too deep to be washed away by well-meaning gestures.

So I came to my Peace Now lunch with some apprehension — and a lot of prejudice.

I can’t say I connected ideologically with my lunchmates, but I did end up connecting emotionally. The reason was that I trusted their deep commitment to Israel and their sincerity in their search for peace.

There was something very Jewish about their attitude toward the conflict. First, the idea of hope, of never giving up. Where would the Jews be today if we didn’t have hope?

There was also the idea of taking responsibility for our situation — of not blaming others for our fate. Again, where would the Jewish nation be today without that character trait?

My peace-loving lunch companions are not naive. They know about the spread of Jewish hatred in Palestinian society, and they understand the fear many of us have that a Palestinian state could easily become a terrorist state. But they believe the ideals of peace and a two-state solution are so valuable to Jews and to Israel that it is worth pursuing relentlessly, even if it means paying a significant price.

It’s this idea of paying a price for peace that made a lightbulb go off.

For nearly two decades, Israel has gone to one failed peace meeting after another with this question in mind: How much are we willing to pay for peace? In doing so, they have acted as if the Palestinians actually have something to sell.

Apparently, no one ever stood up during one of those meetings to say to the Israelis: “Wait a minute, you’re not the buyers, you’re the sellers!”

Why sellers? Because everyone knows that when Israel signs an agreement with an Arab country, it is capable of honoring it. On the other hand, it’s no secret that the Palestinians, with or without Hamas, are in no position to deliver peace to Israel.

It follows that if any party should be selling, it is Israel. Yet, incredibly, it is always the reverse: The Palestinians are selling a peace they can’t deliver, while the Israelis are buying a peace that doesn’t exist.

Is it any wonder that all the peace plans keep failing? That groups like Peace Now keep banging their heads against the wall, hoping that more concessions from Israel will somehow bring us closer to that elusive solution?

The problem with pressuring Israel to buy peace through concessions is that it perpetuates the illusion that the Palestinians have something to sell.

What the peace process needs more than anything is for the Palestinians to be able to deliver their end of the bargain. Until that happens, any question of creating a Palestinian state is moot.

My solution? Have the sides switch roles or mind-states.

Israelis should act like “peace owners,” and Palestinians should act like “peace buyers.” With a buyer mentality, Palestinians will be more likely to make their own offers, rather than passively rejecting Israeli offers, which is what they often do.

As buyers, Palestinians would also learn that Israel needs a minimum security deposit: Stop teaching Jew-hatred to your children. Palestinians can’t offer peace while they’re teaching war. Tragically, the anti-incitement clause was the great ignored clause of Oslo — so for more than 15 years, Palestinian society fell back on its habit of demonizing Jews, which contributed to the growth of terrorism and rejectionist forces like Hamas.

Israel is hardly blameless in this picture, and it has made its share of mistakes. But settlements or no settlements, the fact remains that the great majority of Israeli Jews have been more than ready to pay a huge price for peace, including evacuating most of the West bank.

Had the Palestinians been smart, had they taken more responsibility for their situation and developed a culture of co-existence, they would have long ago made Israel an offer it couldn’t refuse. They would have called Israel’s bluff and made the process real.

Instead, we’ve all been treated to the continuing and sorry spectacle of global diplomats parachuting into Jerusalem to coax adversaries into yet another round of the “let’s play peace process” game.

Leading the latest charge is our new can-do president, who believes that a solution is possible if only the U.S. becomes more “engaged.” He will soon learn that no amount of American engagement or Israeli concessions can undo the reality that for the foreseeable future, the Palestinians are utterly incapable of delivering peace to Israel. 

All this, of course, is very sobering for those of us who fear for the future of Israel as a Jewish democratic state. Going forward, the one thing we can be sure of is that groups like Peace Now will continue to pressure Israel to make concessions, and people like me will lament that the whole process is upside down.

David Suissa, an advertising executive, is founder of OLAM magazine, Meals4Israel.com and Ads4Israel.com. He can be reached at dsuissa@olam.org.

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JEWISHJOURNAL.COM EXCLUSIVE: An Eyewitness Recounts the Day Venezuela Booted Israel’s Embassy

On February 6th, 2009, Shlomo Cohen, Israeli Ambassador in Venezuela’s capital, Caracas, received an unwelcome and distressing phone call.  The government of Venezuela was expelling all Israeli diplomats and staff – they had 72 hours to leave the country.

In a country whose government had become increasingly hostile to Israel, the call was hardly a surprise. President Hugo Chávez was organizing an anti-Israel demonstration the very next day to denounce what he called Israel’s “Nazi-like atrocities” in Gaza.  Pro-Arab sentiment in Caracas, also on the rise, was manifest everywhere, with TV images of Parliament members wearing kafiahs, Palestinian flags ubiquitously waved in the streets, and Muslims praying in mosques. 

Danny Biran, Israel’s Head of Administration for North and South America, flew to Caracas, the country’s capitol city,  to help close the Israeli Embassy.  He provided jewishjournal.com with this account during a briefing in Los Angeles this week.

Venezuelan government rhetoric is not just anti-Israel. It often crosses the line into anti-Semitism, with frequent calls to demonstrate against Israel and its allies – the Jews. Additionally, Chávez is calling on Jews themselves to demonstrate against Israel and its offensive in Gaza. 

Against this backdrop, the local Jewish community has been struggling to understand the depth and breadth of this new anti-Semitic posture in a country that – until Chávez—had been nothing but welcoming.  Temples had recently been subjected to violent anti-Semitic attacks, leaving ominous messages in their wake: “Damn Jews,” “Assassin Jews,” “Out of here, Jews.”  Now, after the Embassy’s inauguration 60 years ago, there would be no Israeli embassy, leaving Jews feeling powerless and stranded.

Closing an embassy is no minor task, said Biran, and proved a formidable one for diplomats more accustomed to building than dismantling them.  All kinds of equipment would have to be moved, classified materials handled, cars sold, kids pulled out of schools, relationships suspended. Yet the message was sharp and clear.  And the clock was ticking.

Embassy staff embarked on closing the embassy at breakneck pace, simultaneously balancing a dizzying array of complicated logistics and the handling of frantic calls from the dismayed community.  Careful not to create panic, yet understanding the need for straightforwardness, the message from the embassy was clear: “We will not leave you alone.” 

Amid the frenzy, another piece of bad news was delivered: Chávez now announced that he was cutting off all relations with Israel.  Diplomats were now stripped of all immunity, thus deemed illegal aliens, with no protection whatsoever.

Rapidly assessing the gravity of the situation, Consul Biran called his colleagues in Buenos Aires, Panama , New York, and Miami, urging them to come immediately to Caracas to help.  As diplomats arrived within hours, Venezuelan authorities intercepted them at the airport.  The government refused them entry. Officials escorted the Israelis to a room, where they were held for the next nine hours.  No one in government returned phone calls. 

After nine hours, the diplomats were released from the airport.  Venezuelan Army commandos and three civilians escorted them to the embassy.  They were allowed only three days in the country and would be followed everywhere they went, at their hotels, in their conversations, in all their movements. 

The sense of precariousness intensified.  Without immunity or legal status, Venezuela was an increasingly insecure place.  Commandos assigned to the diplomats were everywhere, taking pictures, interrogating all who entered the embassy.  Numerous calls to government dignitaries went unreturned. And, atypically, this Jewish community had no connections in the government.  Contingency plans began to take shape for the worst-case scenario.  If necessary, Biran states, “Everyone would be taken out of the country.”

On February 22, amid tears and sorrow, the flag and sign of the Israeli Embassy in Caracas came down; the embassy was closed.

The situation in Caracas is currently volatile.  Consul Biran ascertained that the commandos assigned to overseeing the closure of the embassy were receiving direct orders from Chávez and two high ranking officers, one of whom reportedly has close ties to Hezbollah.  In addition, Chávez has been cultivating relationships with the Iranian government for years. There are now numerous weekly direct flights from Caracas to Tehran. Additionally, many reports solidly point to a strong Hezbollah presence. 

Expressing dismay and concern at the present state of affairs, Biran adds, “As a Jew, as an Israeli, as a civil servant [traveling the world for years], it is unbelievable to see a community in such an environment–harder than I had seen.” There is general concern that the combination of Chávez’s pro-Palestinian, pro-Iranian, pro-Arab support, and his anti-Israel propaganda, are creating a propitious environment for terrorist attacks. 

Nonetheless, the Jewish community is not in a state of panic.  Amidst his anti-Israel propaganda, President Chávez sends frequent messages of support to the Jewish community, assuaging fears.  Underscoring the unpredictable nature of his posture toward the community, he issued an order that matzah and kosher wine would not be available for Pesach.  Under pressure, he reversed the order.

“No ones knows where this situation will lead,” Biran said. “The Jewish community would welcome outside shows of support, be it through missions, or through connections with governments around the world.”

JEWISHJOURNAL.COM EXCLUSIVE: An Eyewitness Recounts the Day Venezuela Booted Israel’s Embassy Read More »

Is Pat Oliphant Anti-Semitic? No, He’s Pro-Stupid.

Jewish groups are livid at cartoonist Pat Oliphant for his recent cartoon depicting a jackbooted Israeli mowing over a helpless Palestinian woman and child.

Is it anti-semitic?  In my original post I wrote that I wasn’t sure.  That seemed to get some readers more upset than the cartoon.  My point is that while people can debate whether Oliphant is anti-semitic, the larger point is that he’s pro-stupid. 

The Jewish community assumes that by labeling something anti-semitic you automatically marginalize it.  But in the broader world that doesn’t always fly: especially when Oliphant and others can always run and hide by saying they’re just criticizing Israel, not Jews.  I say fine: let them have that argument.  Let’s suppose that you love Jews, and that’s why you depict the most well-known image of their faith as a baby-eating monster.  Maybe that’s your idea of tough love.  Even if that’s the case, it still doesn’t get you off the hook for allying yourself with the forces in the Middle East who are against compromise and a two-state solution. 

Oliphant is doing Hamas’s work for them: de-legitimizing Israel, suggesting it should be eradicated as evil, suggesting that the actions of some Israeli soldiers are representative of the whole nation. That’s what’s wrong with this cartoon, and in the larger world it’s a much more damning indictment than screaming anti-semitism.  Oliphant’s cartoon is pro-Hamas: therfore it is anti-peace, anti-democracy, anti-compromise, anti-tolerance. Even if you hate Jews, you can’t hate all those as well… unless you’re Hamas.

There are two sides in the Middle East coinflict: Jews and Arabs who want compromise, and Jews and Arabs who want to demonize and eradicate their neighbors.  Oliphant has just become the propagandist for the other side.  Hamas would like nothing more for the world to see Israelis and Jews as Nazis who need to be destroyed, rather than as neighbors who need to be engaged. This cartoon has just become their best new weapon.

Meanwhile, even Palestinians and other Arabs opposed how Hamas endangered their fellow citizens by its reckless attacks on Israel. Painting Israel as purely evil and Palestinians as purely victims isn’t anti-semitic.  It’s dumb.

Is Pat Oliphant Anti-Semitic? No, He’s Pro-Stupid. Read More »

Let My People Post Passover Videos

FADE IN.SCENE: A fat, white Jewish boy wearing a backwards baseball cap, pink sunglasses and a snarl, walks down the street to the tune of “Baby’s Got Back,” but instead of saying “I like a big butt and I cannot lie,” he’s rapping these words:

Dawgs, I like matzah balls and i’ll tell you why
If I don’t get ‘em it makes me cry.
When the smell rolls in and I imagine the taste, and around them in your face
You get Tums!
Wanna eat that stuff – cuz one just ain’t enough!
My clothes they keep on tearing, I’m fat but i’m not caring…

It’s “Matzah Ball Rap,” one of the many Passover videos virally spread around YouTube, the premiere medium to get out a message—whatever that message may be. Since the Passover seder is the most attended Jewish ritual of the year, the Jews of YouTube have lots to say about it, with videos—funny, satirical, animated and somewhat educational.

In other words, a perfect medium for today’s younger generation of Jews looking to connect to their heritage.

There are the rap songs, like the animated hip-hop video by Smooth-E (comedian Eric Schwartz) called “Matzah: Hip Hop Fo’ Jews” (I feel like a freak/because every time I pull out something to eat for this week/I can’t do it/because I’m Jewish/and I can’t eat bread/and my rabbi said only/MATZAH!), which was featured on the “Tonight Show.” Then there are the melodic spoofs, such as Michelle Citrin’s “20 Things to Do With Matzah” (Passover’s over and wouldn’t it be neat/if you could use all the matzah you didn’t eat/Catch it like a Frisbee with your friends in the park/ or jump in the water and pretend you’re a shark), which in the last year registered almost half a million hits.

There are the cute ones, like Sam Apple’s “Who Let the Jews Out,” to promote his book “Schlepping Through the Alps” (Ballantine, 2006), and the utterly ridiculous ones, such as the movie preview “I Know What You Did Last Seder” (four Jewish teens are in great danger when a rabbi discovers they have been eating leavened bread during Passover).

Others are more substantive than songs, with modern-day interpretations of the Passover story, such as “Let My People Grow,” an animated sketch—by Stephen and Joel Levinson, based on their seder skits growing up on Dayton, Ohio. This one frames the Jews’ desire to leave Egypt as a breakup. (Jewish Slave Girl: “We think it’s time to move on, you know, get a place of our own.” Egyptian master: “But you can’t leave now! I mean things were going so well! Listen, this pyramid is almost done—just finish it up … ”)

“I think there’s a lot of stuff to be had in the Jewish world: a cynical, modernist retelling of the Bible,” Joel, a full-time YouTube videographer who earns his living winning YouTube contests, said about “God and Co.,” Nextbook’s video series of Bible stories. “God is portrayed in a way that he isn’t usually portrayed.”

Just as the Internet and its blogs have upended traditional media like newspapers and television, YouTube has changed the way many young people think about religion. The Passover videos are just one example of how the Jews of YouTube—usually 20- and 30-something comedians, musicians and writers—are using their culture and creativity to redefine the tradition.

“Being Jewish is a part of me—it’s not the only part of me, but it’s part of my story,” said Smooth-E, a comedian who has made dozens of YouTube videos, including Jewish ones like “Crank That Kosha Boy,” which has generated more than 3 million hits, perhaps because it spoofs SoulJa Boy’s popular hip-hop song “Tell Em (Crank That).”

“As a Jewish artist, I’m telling my story. I kind of have a skewed view—I look at matzah and think that I love the tradition, but matzah stops you up like traffic on the 405 at rush hour,” Smooth-E said, referring to a Los Angeles highway. “It’s not disrespectful, but we can all relate to it.”

There are different reasons behind Jewish videos on YouTube.

Some are inadvertently America’s Funniest Home Videos-style funny, like “Seth’s Bar Mitzvah,” which features a family singing karaoke horribly off-key. Others are serious affairs, like castigating the United Nations for its stance on Israel, or explaining Jewish rituals such as the seder.

But the ones that gain the most traction are the scripted, funny videos. Some promote Judaism, but in a more subtle—and timely—way.

Take Citrin’s “I Gotta Love You Rosh Hashanah,” a parody of the “Barack Obama Girl” video (“Yom Kippur leaves me feeling empty inside/Passover reminds of the tears that we cry/but I don’t want to think of our tragic history/cuz I’m comin’ home for Rosh Hashanah”).

“The crazy part was the response I got from people—‘You make me proud to be a Jew’ and ‘You’re so cool,’” Citrin said, noting that she heard from children, grandmothers, even a Holocaust survivor.  Hebrew school teachers told her they use it in their curriculum, and people still stop her on the streets.

“People really connect to it,” said the 28-year-old folk singer from Brooklyn.

Others use YouTube videos to promote a specific cause, such as Sarah Silverman’s “The Great Schlep,” which encouraged young Jews to urge their grandparents to vote for Obama—and grabbed more than 3 million views.

“Talk to your audience where they hang out,” said Matt Dorf, of Rabinowitz/Dorf Communications, who worked with the people behind “The Great Schlep” campaign, and Birthright Israel, a Jewish organization that makes good use of YouTube.

Birthright has hired artists like Citrin to make videos and holds video contests for program alums.

“It’s where their people are,” Dorf said of the18- to 26-year-olds eligible for Birthright’s first-time free trips to Israel. “You’re not going to speak to them with a full-page ad in The New York Times.”

Where do people hang out?

On Web sites like JDate, which like Birthright recently hired Brandon Walker—the songwriter of the 1.6 million-viewed video “Chinese Food on Christmas.” For Birthright, he wrote a Passover one, “Get Down Moses,” and for Jdate he wrote “February’s Here” (“Never thought I’d be the type to use a dating site online/but February’s here and I don’t have a Valentine …”).

“People come still come up to me and say, ‘Oh my cousin from Argentina got it from his uncle in Israel who sent to his doctor in California,’ these bizarre stories,” said Walker, 26, who teaches music at a Jewish day school in Baltimore in addition to writing music. (“Chinese Food on Christmas” was originally a college class assignment to write a Christmas song that he first posted on the Web in 2003).

Walker wasn’t surprised by the popularity of his YouTube videos.

“Jews love to have a voice in pop culture,” he said. “We’re a minority and been through so much, but we’re so vocal and prevalent—I think that’s why we love stuff like this.”

With YouTube, Walker said, Jews get “to make our presence known in a positive, lighthearted way, which is not always the case.”

What is the line between lighthearted parody and wicked satire? Between being “good for the Jews” and “bad for the Jews”?

Rob Kutner of “The Daily Show” doesn’t think he crosses the line with Jewish spoofs—“Meshuganeh Men” (Miss Holowitz, what would you say if I told you I had a cozy room reserved for you in the Catskills this weekend and we could curl up together and watch the Eichmann trial?) and “Jewno” (I thought it would be worse—getting under 1200 under the SATs, donating money to the Jewish Bush presidential library, stopping a diet!”)—all written to promote the 92nd Street Y/Tribeca’s annual Purim shpiels.

“I think these are generally positive stereotypes,” Kutner said, although he does receive some negative feedback as well. “I figure words can never hurt me.”

Some YouTube Jews don’t care much about whether it’s good for the Jews or not. Consider “Miriam and Shoshana,” or as they are known on YouTube, “Hardcore Jewish Girls.” Dressed in buttoned-up white shirts and knee-covering dark pleated skirts, they play Orthodox yeshiva high school girls rapping—“School starts at 7:45 a.m./before that we get some ‘Schevitz in/‘82 ‘yo, study Torah/we’d read some to ya/but we’d bore ya”—as they chase boys and dream of being like Amy Winehouse.

Videos such as “Hardcore Jewish Girls” and “Modern-Day Jesus,” both produced by filmmaker Oren Kaplan, 29, are not out to promote a holiday or a cause or Judaism—just the artists themselves.

Kaplan noted that Comedy Central has optioned his “Modern-Day Jesus,” which he hopes will be a serious satire about religion and secularism.

“We get broader exposure on YouTube than through the film festival route and working our way up through Hollywood,” he said. “It allows us to throw stuff out there and see what people like and don’t like, and it allows us to entertain.”

It also caused a “conversation” on YouTube, where a rabbi made a video “banning” the video (“Hashem Yirachem [may God have Mercy]  on all those involved and all those who have seen it,”) and another person “unbanned” it (“I think Hashem will be very proud and give them a lot of brachas”).

Ultimately, though, Reb Moshe of Safed left it up there because the video had so many hits, it ended up getting him hired for other work, including a promotional video for the city of Las Vegas.

What about people who don’t get the joke?

“A lot of those involved with kiruv [religious outreach] seem to me overly concerned with how others think of the Jews,” said Kaplan, whose day job is a videographer for Disney.

“I have been socialized in a much more secular world. I don’t really see a need to be extremely careful what I put out there,” he said. “I know it bothers a lot of people, but then [I say] don’t watch it and don’t talk about it.”


Learning to embrace the YouTube revolution
By Amy Klein, JTA

Making videos is an essential step for Jewish organizations interested in getting their message out to a younger audience, new media marketing experts say.“Unfortunately, many people are not reading newspapers anymore and watching TV—there’s only one way to get people’s attention,” said Jason Frank, co-founder of Giving Tree, the marketing, production and consulting company for Jewish nonprofits that he runs with Molly Livingstone.

Frank said organizations should post videos to YouTube instead of just distributing them through an organization’s network or a niche site such as YidTube or JewTube, which has faced legal action by YouTube.

“No one’s really interested in watching only Jewish videos,” he said. “You have to promote something in the secular world.

“Finding a Passover rap is funnier if you find it on YouTube than on a Jewish video site,” Frank said, referring to the video “Matzah Ball Rap,”, which he and Livingstone made as one of a series they produced “to help promote Judaism and holidays in a fun way.”

Of all the new technologies—e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, podcasts—videos are still the best way to communicate a message, said Matt Dorf, managing partner of Rabinowitz/Dorf Communications, who consults with many organizations and helps them make videos.  “It spreads far beyond the reach they’d otherwise have. It gets their brand and message out there and it reaches the people they want to reach in a young and fun way—and it’s cost effective,” Dorf said.

But some established Jewish organizations don’t understand the new culture of YouTube and its economics, saidFrank, who works with many Israeli nonprofits. Many established groups, he said, are “more interested in traditional videos”—meaning a 30-minute video that might cost $20,000 and take three months to make. “They think it’s better if it’s more expensive.”

Dorf said American Jewish organizations want to tap into the market but aren’t always sure how to use the new technology.

“This is the new hip—they all want to be doing this. They just don’t know how,” he said. Also, “once you make it, how do you get people to watch it?”

That’s the question many artists ask when posting to YouTube, which in the past few years has exploded with tens of thousand of videos posted daily. Some are good, some are bad and some are so bad they are good—like the most watched video, “The Evolution of Dance,” which has registered more than 115 million hits. And all of them are competing for “eyeballs,” the term for numbers of people watching a video.

“The biggest misconception is that if they make a good video and they put it on YouTube, it will explode,” said Oren Kaplan, who runs his own production company that makes experimental videos.

“You have to spend a lot of time pushing it on a social networking site. You need to be a big part of the YouTube community, to have its members care about other members,” he said, referring to registering on the site and posting your own videos and commenting on others’ videos. “It’s not an overnight sensation. It takes a lot of work—unless it’s your dog running into a mirror.” (“Puppy vs. Mirror” got at least half a million hits on YouTube.)

Rob Kutner of “The Daily Show” has a built-in audience from his job, but said he is also “growing his distribution list” using YouTube lingo. He also recommends cross-promoting to other Web sites—he posts to Funny Or Die, Gawker and Defamer. An organization can send its videos to like-minded Web sites such as political, social action or Jewish.

What makes a good YouTube video?

“Simplicity is the mantra—you don’t get anyone’s eyeballs for more than 3 minutes,” Kutner said. “It has to have some sizzle or a star or something sexy”—for example, parodying something well known, as he has in his Jewish-themed spoofs of “Mad Men,” “Juno” and “Jewish Girls Gone Wild.”

Essential ingredients are a catchy title, good thumbnail (the still picture) and a controversial or timely subject, Kaplan said. For example, his company’s video “Writer’s Strike Gets Violent” came out within days of the 2007 strike. While it only received about 100,000 hits, Kaplan said, 80 percent were in Hollywood. And that’s an important lesson Jewish organizations can use: Sometimes videos can appeal to a niche market.

“The Great Schlep,” the edgy Sarah Silverman video, was aimed at urging younger Jews to convince their grandparents to vote for Barack Obama.

“The goal was to get people talking about it,” Dorf said.

That it did, going “viral”—the term for catching on quickly with a large audience—to the tune of 3 million hits.

Not every video has to be edgy, Dorf said. Hadassah, another of his firm’s clients, does videos showcasing its programs geared to an audience older than 20-somethings.

“Videos are not the be-all and end-all,” he added. “They have to be good and smart, carry a message and be well targeted.”

The overall verdict from these experts is that YouTube is here to stay—and Jewish organizations should get on board.

“This is the way people will have to start promoting themselves,” said the Giving Tree’s Frank.  “It’s unfair, but that’s the reality.”


10 YouTube videos for Passover
By Amy Klein, JTA

Here are 10 popular Passover videos of years past: many animated, many musical, not all kid-appropriate.

20 Things to Do With Matzah
Michelle Citrin and William Levin
A funny acoustic guitar song about using leftover Passover matzah.
“You can make a matzah pick and play the guitar/or you can make a matzah license plate for your guitar.”

Moses Rap: A Pesach/Passover Video
Matt Bar Beat and Music Production
Old-School, MTV-style hip-hop video showing recording of the song mixed with Passover’s 10 plagues.   
“Moses in the Red Sea/Like who’s gonna follow me/Pharaoh’s in the tides, we’re gonna ride to our destiny…”

Matzah: hip hop fo’ Hebrews
Smooth-E (comedian Eric Schwartz) of “Crank That Kosha Boy” fame, produced by Jib-Jab.
Slick, animated hip-hop kid (in “Chai” baseball cap and bling Jewish star ) sings about matzah.
“How could one bread rock it so famous/when the taste is the same flavor of the box it came in?”

Matza Ball Rap
D’ Dog Dorf for Giving Tree Productions, a marketing company for Jewish nonprofits.
Grainy parody of Sir Mix-A Lot’s “Baby Got Back.”
“My rabbi tries to warn me/ but those matzah balls got me so horny/oh roll that knaidel …”

Who Let the Jews Out
Sam Apple, for his book “Schlepping Through the Alps.”
Simple animated greeting card Pharaoh sings to the tune of “Who Let the Dogs Out.”
LAMB: “Oh hello, Pharaoh. Listen, the Jews have escaped.” PHARAOH: “What! That’s impossible!”

Get Down Moses!
Taglit Birthright hired Brendon Walker (of “Chinese Food on Christmas” fame).
Ancient Moses gets fired from his modern-day job and goes to the streets to part hair, rap and sing.
“We’ll eat some good food if you come to my seder/ My favorite mode of transportation is the elevator/We’ll put you on the show,  I’m quite the showman/But you gotta RSVP so we know if you’re afikoman.”

Matzah Man
American Comedy Network
Kid-friendly animated dancing matzahs to the tune of “Macho Man.”
“Matzah Matzah man, I’m gonna be a Matzah man.”

Getting There is Half the Fun
Stephen and Joel Levinson for Nextbook’s “God & Co.” series of modern interpretations of Bible stories.
Animated sketch of Aaron “roasting” his brother Moses (with some profanity) after 40 years in the desert.
“My brother Moses is such a great man, if we had known what a great leader this kid was gonna become, mom might have not thrown him in the Nile!”

Happy Passover!
Unleashed TV
A “Family-Guy” type animated sketch in which a Hollywood agent invites a talking dog to dinner.
DOG: “I wanna bring over the breadsticks.” AGENT: “There’s no bread.” DOG: Breadsticks!” AGENT: “Oh, I guess that’s alright.”

The Matzah Challenge
Video Jew Jay Firestone for The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles.
A fake news story on the tasting of five matzahs.
“This unleavened bread can sometimes be accused of tasting bland … and that argument has more holes than the subject in question.”

 

Let My People Post Passover Videos Read More »

Basketball’s Christian history

The Sweet Sixteen starts this afternoon, and for the first time in four years my Bruins are out. That, however, won’t stop me from watching games all weekend. Forget what Christmas carolers claim: March Madness is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

I’ve never thought of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament as a Christian exercise, even though it often feels like religion. But last week Christianity Today offered this previously unknown, at least to me, history:

Where’s the Christian history in all of this? To start, Naismith, after working his way through high school (he was orphaned at age 9), trained as a Presbyterian minister at McGill University. He taught phys. ed. there before going on to Springfield to study psychology. When he applied at Springfield in May 1889, he was asked, “What is the work of a YMCA Physical Director?” He answered, “To win men for the Master through the gym.”

Naismith later applied to be director of physical education at the University of Kansas, a job he held until his retirement in 1937. In recommending Naismith for the position, A.A. Stagg, “the Dean of American football,” described him as the “inventor of basketball, a medical doctor, a Presbyterian Minister, a teetotaller, an all-around athlete, a non-smoker and the owner of a vocabulary without cuss words.” No wonder basketball refs penalize technical fouls.

The YMCA—which used to emphasize the “Christian” aspect much more than it does today—is also important in the development and phenomenal growth of the game. YMCA gyms, basketball’s incubators, were opened to provide young men a wholesome alternative to hanging out in saloons. They were also intended to promote civic and religious education.

Like Naismith said on his application, his job at Springfield really was to train men for ministry in the growing Sunday school movement and the similarly expanding YMCA, which at that time pursued “the fourfold program” for fitness: physical, social, mental, and spiritual development. The organization had some spiritual heavyweights at the helm, too. John R. Mott, who would go on to chair the 1910 Edinburgh Missionary Conference and share the 1943 Nobel Peace Prize, began his career as college secretary of the YMCA.

The top 10 NCAA tournament buzzer beater are up above.

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E-indulgences: Pay and pray

“We live in an amazing, amazing world, and it’s wasted on the crappiest generation of just spoiled idiots.“

Remember when the comedian Louis CK said that to Conan? Well, he wasn’t think of the pay-and-pray computer service, but I think we can lump it in:

Information Age Prayer is a site that charges you a monthly fee to say prayers for you. A typical charge is $4.95 per month to say three prayers specified by you each day.

“We use state of the art text to speech synthesizers to voice each prayer at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying,” the company states. “Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen.”

Prices, however, are dictated by the length of the prayer. As noted in the Information Age Prayer FAQ, “A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.”

I’ll admit that I don’t pray as regularly as I should. Most of the time I just forget to stop and talk to God. But somehow I think pay and pray misses the point.

Thanks for the link, Dennis.

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Oliphant cartoon blasted as anti-Semitic

Pat Oliphant, one of the most widely syndicated political cartoonists in the world, is in a bit of hot water over this drawing. The cartoon, which ran in papers across the country yesterday, depicts a headless soldier goose-stepping behind a fanged Star of David, marching the tiny, defenseless Gaza off a cliff.

The ADL and Simon Wiesenthal Center are leading the opposition:

“Pat Oliphant’s outlandish and offensive use of the Star of David in combination with Nazi-like imagery is hideously anti-Semitic,” said Abraham Foxman, the ADL’s national director. “It employs Nazi imagery by portraying Israel as a jack-booted, goose-stepping headless apparition. The implication is of an Israeli policy without a head or a heart. “

“The imagery in this cartoon mimics the venomous anti-Semitic propaganda of the Nazi and Soviet eras,” the Simon Wiesenthal Center said in its statement. “It is cartoons like this that inspired millions of people to hate in the 1930s and help set the stage for the Nazi genocide.”

Indeed, the cartoon immediately evoked for me images of Nazi propaganda that portrayed duplicitous Jews shoving Germans into the ocean. (I looked but couldn’t find any previous posts about this; here, though, is an archival treasure trove.)

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Jewish Groups Call Oliphant Cartoon ‘Anti-Semitic’

Jewish groups have denounced a cartoon by a prize-winning political cartoonist as anti-Semitic.

Pat Oliphant’s cartoon, published Wednesday, shows a headless figure goose-stepping while pushing a large Star of David with fangs and pursuing a tiny woman carrying a child labeled “Gaza.” The syndicated cartoon appeared in newspapers around the world.

“Pat Oliphant’s outlandish and offensive use of the Star of David in combination with Nazi-like imagery is hideously anti-Semitic,” Abraham Foxman, the Anti-Defamation League national director, said in a statement. “It employs Nazi imagery by portraying Israel as a jack-booted, goose-stepping headless apparition. The implication is of an Israeli policy without a head or a heart. “

The Simon Wiesenthal Center said in a statement: “The imagery in this cartoon mimics the venomous anti-Semitic propaganda of the Nazi and Soviet eras. It is cartoons like this that inspired millions of people to hate in the 1930s and help set the stage for the Nazi genocide.”

The Wiesenthal Center called on online media to remove the cartoon from their Web sites.

To see the cartoon, click here.

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Casting apes as Jews in the Russian circus

Jew-hatred never really disappeared from Russia. But is the circus guilty of anti-Semitism or just bad taste (or none of the above)? JTA offers this story:

A man dressed in Chasidic regalia speeds in a go-cart around Moscow’s one-ring Circus Nikulina. Aziz Askaryan then dismounts and leads two gangly orangutans—one in a suit and kipah, the other in a full bridal gown—on a lurching matrimonial march toward a hastily constructed chupah in front of a guffawing audience.

The mock Jewish wedding between two orangutans has been the closing number for weeks in Act I of the famed Moscow circus, whose theme is “Empire: A Magical Show with Bright National Flavor.”

It has stirred some conversation among Jewish leaders here. But most say that the act, which might raise eyebrows in the West, is met in Moscow with giggles or yawns.

“I think it’s maybe in bad taste, but you must know that Russia is different than Western nations in its humor,” Baruch Gorin, a spokesman for the Federation of Jewish Communities of Russia, told JTA.

Russians see the act through the prism of a longtime love of the circus with a pinch of Russian humor that often makes light of minorities, including off-color jokes about “Yids,” among others.

If anything, the show is a nod to an array of ethnic groups that comprise the Russian empire: a magician is dressed as Caucasian mountain man, acrobats are dressed as Cossacks and other performers are dressed as Ukrainians.

The only difference in the Jewish number is that Askaryan, wearing fake sidecurls and a tallit, has primates playing the roles of the Jews. The scene evokes a visceral reaction—laughter for most, shock for others.

At least publicly, Russian Jews aren’t bothered by the display. Frankly, I’d like to see a bunch of apes dance and drink “to life.”

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