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May 29, 2008

Judicial candidate advocates deporting non-whites

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Kevin MacDonald meet Bill Johnson. Bill is a handsome man of middle age; he wears fashionable glasses and has a respectable law profession. Bill’s running for an open seat on the L.A. County Superior Court bench, and he seems like your kind of guy. As a judicial candidate, Bill has no campaign platform, but he’s not particularly a fan of minorities and in years past has advocated restricting U.S. citizenship to non-white Hispanics and deporting anyone with even a Jewish great-grandparent. More from this week’s Jewish Journal:

Judicial candidate advocates deporting non-whites Read More »

New UCLA program puts spotlight on Mediterranean Jewish life

UCLA has established an academic program in Mediterranean Jewish Studies, focusing on the rich history of Jewish life and culture in Italy, as well as in France, Spain, the Balkans, Greece, North Africa, Egypt and aspects of Israel’s past.

Starting in the fall, the program will bring a noted scholar as visiting professor to the campus for one quarter each year to lead classes on a topic dealing with Jewish society, history or culture in one of the designated countries.

The program was launched through a $1.4 million gift from Andrew Viterbi, considered the father of cell technology, his wife Erna, and their three children.

“This is the first program of its kind and exemplifies the trend in historical analysis to go beyond traditional political boundaries and look at broad regional trends,” said historian David N. Myers, director of the UCLA Center for Jewish Studies.


Viterbi interview

Viterbi and his parents arrived in the United States as refugees from a small town near Milan, a week before the outbreak of World War II, after Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, aping Adolf Hitler, had imposed anti-Semitic laws.

After graduating from USC with a doctorate in electrical engineering and joining the UCLA faculty, the young professor developed the groundbreaking Viterbi Algorithm, which opened the doors to the digital age.

His mathematical formula for eliminating signal interference, allowing cell phones to communicate without interfering with each other, also led to direct broadcast satellite television, deep space weather forecasting, video transmission from the surface of Mars, voice recognition and even DNA sequence analysis.

As an entrepreneur, he co-founded Linkabit in the 1960s and cell phone giant Qualcomm in 1985, both hugely successful enterprises.

He has since endowed or supported a wide range of Jewish institutions in San Diego and Israel and served as president of the Jewish Community Foundation in San Diego and Congregation Beth El in La Jolla.

Commenting on his donation to UCLA, Viterbi said, “Because the Mediterranean region has been at the crossroads of commerce and ideas for thousands of years, it has been the site of one of the richest and most diverse Jewish cultures in history. I want that culture to be explored and recognized.”

The philanthropist himself “is perfectly fluent with the scholarship of the Italian Jewish experience,” said Myers, who was recently elected a Fellow of the American Academy for Jewish Research.

The Center for Jewish Studies offers close to 50 public lectures, seminars and conferences each year, including series in Sephardic studies, Holocaust studies, and Modern Jewish culture.

UCLA’s academic departments list 70 courses each year in Jewish and Israeli studies and Hebrew.

New UCLA program puts spotlight on Mediterranean Jewish life Read More »

Pitfalls of the Wiki Bible Project

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The folks at Wikisource have a new project bound to stir up controversy. It’s called the Wiki Bible Project, and it aims to “create an original, open content translation” of the Bible, by the people for the people. Call it the Pauper John Goldfarb Ali Version.

Great idea. I mean, people have never disagreed over what the Bible says. Christians and Jews and Muslims all worship the God of Abraham, so they must read his word from the same pages. Buddhists and Taoists and Pagans? Individualistic variations, nothing more. A holy book is a holy book, regardless of what name it goes by.

Right … Just try telling that to Jerusalem. Muslims and Christians and Jews all understand the Bible quite differently on this subject.

The Bible doesn’t talk directly about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but I wonder if CAMERA has any plans for influencing the editing.

Libby Purves at Faith Central explains a little more about the project and shares a satirical story from Britain’s version of The Onion:

Pitfalls of the Wiki Bible Project Read More »

Double dating with Dad

Joe Morris looks pretty good for a 79-year-old widower, his son Bob says in a new memoir. Despite the fact that Joe needs a hip replacement — not to mention a dry cleaner for his yellow cardigan — he has “smooth, tawny skin, silky silvery hair,” is “fully conversant with the idea of happiness, especially his own,” and, although it’s only been a few months since his wife of 50 years died, he’s about to start dating — much to Bob’s consternation.

“I was just thinking, is it a little early to be running around with another woman? I mean, it’s just a few months since Mom died,” Bob Morris recounts saying to his father in “Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad” (Harper, 2008).

The book is just one of a number of memoirs released recently that are written by sons trying to figure out their fathers, including Bernard Cooper’s “The Bill From My Father” (Simon & Schuster, 2006), Nick Flynn’s “Another Bull…. Night in Suck City” (W.W. Norton, 2005) and David Shields’ new “The Thing About Life is One Day You’ll Be Dead” (Knopf, 2008). But the others don’t capture the cynicism, humor and fraught male relationship of a father and son who are both looking for love.

When Bob learns his father is seeing women, he recounts in the book, he calls his brother, Jeff, and asks, “Three and a half months after Mom died, and Dad appears to be dating. Is this appropriate?”

Jeff’s response: “Since when has Dad been appropriate?”

Bob Morris writes that his mother was “devout;” the family belonged to a Conservative synagogue, and he attended Hebrew school at her behest.

“We all know that Jewish tradition requires a year of mourning, so what was on my father’s mind when three months after my mother dies he hands me a page from The New York Jewish Week with personal ads circled and asks me to call,” the author said in a phone interview from New York. “Is that appropriate? Six months after she dies, we’ll give him an 80th birthday party. Is that appropriate?”

These questions got him thinking, as he prepared to write this book, he said: “What is appropriate in terms of middle-aged children and their parents’ love lives?”

Appropriateness is an ongoing theme in Morris’ life. For eight years he wrote a cheeky column in The New York Times’ Style Section called “The Age of Dissonance” — a ‘Miss Manners’ for the New York jet set that is the basis of an HBO pilot he’s developing.

Morris has yearned for appropriateness — good manners, fitting in, being stylish, belonging to the madding crowd — since he was a child, he said in the interview.

“Why can’t you be more interesting, better read, well-dressed,” he used to think of (and say to) his parents. “Why can’t you be like my friends’ parents in Manhattan — wearing French cuffs, going to Europe?”

While some teens are embarrassed by their uncool parents, Morris was outraged: “How dare you be so unsophisticated!” he thought. “I never was in such an appreciative spot,” he said in the interview.

Morris couldn’t appreciate the man who sang romantic songs and danced with his wife; a father who helped his son come out of the closet, telling Bob at 19 it was OK if he was gay, but he should be careful; a father who bragged about his son’s every minor accomplishment and who told his son there was nothing he couldn’t do once he put his mind to it.

“I was always too critical and too cynical to enjoy the guy,” Morris said in the interview.

He saw his father as a bore who rattled on about bridge and other banalities. But after Bob’s mother died, father and son started discussing dating, love and relationships — although the discussion was more about Joe’s love life, because Bob, at 45, said he tends to hide from relationships, using his busy life and the cynical New York dating scene as excuses.

“I was shocked at how close my father and I got when we were talking about love,” Morris said in the interview. He became consumed by his father’s dating life — which began with The Jewish Week personals, but continued with women in Great Neck, N.Y. and Palm Beach, Fla. — “the Gaza Strip” — as the Jewish widow section of the WASPy neighborhood has been called.

“I just need someone with a good figure who doesn’t smoke. Preferably Jewish. Republican a plus,” Morris writes of his father’s requirements. Joe sounds like someone a quarter his age — and dates like one, too: There’s the three-timing Edie, with two other boyfriends (in their 90s); the snobby Florence with a house on Fifth Avenue who thinks Joe’s after her money; the demanding women, the clingy women, the complaining women, the crazy women.

“Dating is a headache; there are just too many agendas and opinions,” Joe tells his son. But Joe doesn’t give up, because he wants to find love, to find someone like his wife, Ethel.

“He may not be so worldly, but he’s been so brave about love. Why have I spent so much of my adult life afraid of it?” Bob writes, finally taking the plunge to find a love of his own, like his father has done.

Not to spoil the ending here, but the book tells that Joe finds true love, and so does Bob. (Which is where the book wraps — although real life continues: Joe died, at 83, and Morris wrote the book after his death, wanting only to preserve the happy-go-lucky man.)

In the end this memoir is not just about two men searching for love, but also a commentary on aging, dating, parenting children and children parenting parents. It’s also about a father and son learning to love each other — learning to learn from each other — even at the later stages of life.

“He gave me a great gift,” Morris said, “and he delivered an opportunity for me to talk about parents and children and all the things we need to say and don’t say.”

Double dating with Dad Read More »

Tale of the ‘Stranger’ leaps from book to musical

It was 1985, and many of the Ethiopian Jews who’d been airlifted from Sudan were being housed in a hotel in Netanya, Israel. When writer Sonia Levitin entered the temporary nursery, she was particularly struck by all the babies and toddlers who’d been born since their families had arrived.

“I remember one baby grabbing onto the side of his crib, jumping up and down, just like any baby anywhere in the world, but he was crying out ‘Ima, Ima!'” she said. When the mother leaned over to pick him up, Levitin noticed her tattoos, especially the one on her forehead.

“That was one of the things they would do to avoid persecution — tattoo a cross on their forehead,” she said.

Levitin is the author of more than 40 books for children and adults, and she understands what it’s like to be a refugee. Although she was only 4 years old when her family escaped Nazi Germany, she has strong memories of her childhood. As a result, Levitin said, she’s “always been mindful of how it feels to be a stranger; how it feels to be persecuted.”

When she read about Israel’s rescue of Beta Yisrael (black Jews from Ethiopia) and Operation Moses, the secret airlift that brought thousands of Ethiopian Jews to Israel in the mid-1980s, she immediately felt an affinity with their plight. So she went to Israel to observe firsthand the results. Seeing that mother and child in Netanya was a pivotal moment: They represented “the perfect joining of two cultures,” she said, and she felt compelled to write about it.

The result was her young adult novel, “The Return” (1987), which won numerous awards, including the National Jewish Book Award in Children’s Literature and the PEN Los Angeles Award for Young Adult Fiction, and it has become a staple in school curricula around the country. On June 5, the book’s dramatization — replete with songs and dance — will premiere at Santa Monica’s Edgemar Theatre as part of the Festival of New American Musicals.

The show, directed and choreographed by Tony-nominee Donald McKayle, with music by William Anderson and lyrics by Levitin and Myla Lichten Fields, tells the story of a handful of villagers from northern Ethiopia and their hazardous trek to Sudan, their departure point for Israel. As seen primarily through the eyes of Desta, a 12-year-old girl, the story illustrates the prejudice and persecution that drove the so-called “Falasha” (a derogatory term meaning “strangers”) to risk attack, disease and starvation in the hope of escape.

Despite her prolific and successful career as a writer, Levitin said that she’s always felt “light opera/opera and stage musicals are the most complete artistic renderings of a story.” But it wasn’t until she saw dances (choreographed by McKayle) during a 2000 benefit for Sudan — at which readings from her book about modern-day slavery in Sudan, “Dream Freedom,” were also performed — that Levitin seriously considered creating a musical herself. Impressed with McKayle’s work, she asked whether he thought “The Return” had potential as a stage musical.

“It’s a tremendously rich and dramatic story and has all the elements that make for good theater,” said McKayle, who has choreographed more than 90 works for dance companies around the world, including many that have become classics in modern dance. Convinced it was an important story to put on stage, to get it “into the public mind,” he agreed not only to choreograph but also to direct the production.

Levitin then turned to a longtime friend, composer Anderson, for help with the music.

“I knew I couldn’t pay much, so I asked Will if he might know a student who’d be interested in working on the score.” Instead, after reading the book, Anderson decided to write it himself. The result is, according to McKayle, “rhythmic, rich and full of texture, which is a tremendous asset in creating dance.”

Anderson asked Levitin to write the lyrics, and she was surprised at how much she enjoyed the process. She’d written some poems before, but this was different: “I could hardly stop; the words just kept coming out of me,” she said.

Unlike a book, which can use interior monologue and narration to convey emotion, Levitin believes writing for the stage requires “emphasizing emotion in a song — music always brings it out in a deeper way.”

When writing lyrics, Levitin first thinks about the universality of what she wants to convey, then begins “with just one line that is true for me,” she said. For the song Desta sings just before she and her siblings leave their village, “How Can I Say Goodbye?” Levitin drew upon a lesson she learned in her own childhood: “Once you are forced away, there is always an echo of something that was left behind.”

Like many of Levitin’s works, “Return” is ultimately a study of fear, courage and faith, of prevailing against all odds. Children and adults, Levitin said, need the same kind of inspiration; she believes her “stories of purpose” can make a difference.

“Everyone deals with adversity, everyone has problems,” she said. “And we’re all afraid. But the question is: What are you going to do?”

“Return” opens June 5 at the Edgemar Center for the Arts, 2437 Main Street, Santa Monica. Show times
Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings are 8 p.m., and Sundays at 2 p.m. and 7 p.m., June 5 through June 29 and July 10 through July 20.

For more information, visit Tale of the ‘Stranger’ leaps from book to musical Read More »

Rubbernecking the Holocaust

“While I always regarded [these relatives] with respect and awe, part of me knew I could never understand their pain and was thankful for this grace of innocence,” Kofman, the 47-year-old filmmaker, said from the attic office of his Brentwood home. “And yet another part of me was endlessly curious and even indecorously fascinated with the nature of their singular suffering and loss.”

In this way, Kofman says he is “unfortunately” a bit like the anti-hero of his debut feature film, “The Memory Thief,” who becomes so obsessed with the grotesque details of videotaped survivors’ testimonies that he is “virtually rubbernecking the Holocaust.”

The fictional Lukas (Mark Webber) is a non-Jewish tollbooth worker whose only human contact is with passengers who breeze past his Southern California booth. The world literally passes him by — that is, until a survivor tosses him a copy of his videotaped testimony. Lukas is so mesmerized by the tape that he lies his way into a position at a Holocaust archive, allowing his supervisor to think he is Jewish; he sneaks tapes home so he can watch them on multiple television sets in his apartment.


The trailer

As the young man surrounds himself with these talking heads, he spirals into psychosis, replacing his own memories with those of the survivors. Along the way, he stalks a popular filmmaker who has directed a “serious” Holocaust drama — a not-so-veiled reference to Steven Spielberg and “Schindler’s List” (although, Kofman said mischievously, “Our lawyer says he’s not Spielberg, so I guess he’s not”).

Kofman — who is also a writer of darkly comic, satirical plays — insists he did not intend “The Memory Thief” to be a “bad-boy film,” and the response from audiences (including survivors and members of his own family) has been positive, at least so far.

The movie is a “morally audacious and intriguingly original … attempt to counter Hollywood’s formulaic approaches to the Holocaust drama,” Jeannette Catsoulis wrote in The New York Times.

It is “one of the first films to address the notion of Holocaust testimonials — what these videos mean, the power they can have on those with or without a connection to the events, and the way they can be misused,” the New York Sun noted.

Kofman intends his film “first and foremost to explore how we should transmit memories of the Holocaust.” He questions the amassing of tens of thousands of testimonies: “The danger is when you do it simply to acquire, to hoard, as Lukas does in the film. But how many testimonies do we need? Some people think there is redemption in numbers. Yet, at a certain point, it’s not just a question of volume, but how one relates to the testimonies.”

“The Memory Thief” also critiques what Kofman calls “Hollywood’s unchecked impulse to market trauma” by turning Holocaust stories into tales of heroism and redemption.

“Audiences want closure, but there is no closure with the Holocaust,” he said. “I wanted to make a movie that not only resisted that impulse but called it into question.”

Kofman, who grew up in Nigeria, Kenya and Israel before moving to New York at age 6 (his father was a civil engineer), says the movie began with a single, absurd image: a man purchasing lottery tickets with numbers jotted from the arms of concentration camp survivors. He envisioned the character undergoing a “Taxi Driver”-like transformation as he assumes a new identity: “Lukas is like a transvestite to Judaism,” Kofman adds. “He dons a tallit and a kippah and perform rituals without any substantive element.”

As a counterpoint to Lukas’ faux identity, Kofman included testimonies of real survivors in his film; they are clips from interviews the filmaker himself conducted with Los Angeles-based survivors (one of them is the late Fred Diament, who took an active role in The “1939” Club and the Los Angeles Museum of the Holocaust).

“I realized while cutting the film that I had to be judicious about how much of the testimonies I used,” Kofman said. “The taped stories are so powerful that just a little goes a long way. Had I used too many, they would have overwhelmed the fictional story, and the narrative would have fallen apart.”

Kofman says he told the survivors up front about his intentions and tried to be as respectful as possible during interviews.

But sometimes he guiltily caught himself thinking like the fictional Lukas.

“A survivor would show me his number or say something amazing — and I would think, ‘This is great for my movie,'” he recalled. “It was like I had this mercenary aspect.” And, he added, “That deserves to be critiqued.”

The movie opens May 30 at the Laemmle Theatres.

Rubbernecking the Holocaust Read More »

A doctor’s visit

A visit with Dr. Eugene Gettelman, who celebrates his 100th birthday on June 17, shows how much medicine has gained and lost in the last half century.

We talked recently in the sitting room of his apartment at Westwood Horizons, an upscale retirement home near UCLA. His friend, Dr. Herb Levin, had suggested I do a column on Gettelman’s reaching the century mark.

I had met them when I was invited to speak at a monthly luncheon of retired physicians at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Occasionally, Gettelman, Levin and their friend, Dr. Fred Kahn, take me to lunch at the UCLA Faculty Center. They like to talk about politics. I’m interested in the old days of medical practice — at least their old days.

That’s what I wanted to talk about when Gettelman and I settled down for a chat. As a pediatrician practicing in the San Fernando Valley, he treated generations of children, starting from when he completed Navy service in the South Pacific during World War II. He is a lively man with a friendly and calm manner, undoubtedly reassuring to parents and children as well.

I asked him to repeat a story he had told me before, which I thought illustrated the sharp instincts, intelligence and guts that were so necessary to doctors working without today’s sophisticated diagnostic tools and drugs.

Gettelman was senior resident at Michael Reese Hospital in Chicago in the mid-1930s. In those days — hardly imaginable today — strep throat was a dread ailment that could affect the mastoid and turn into meningitis. For the children he was treating, “it was like a death certificate,” he said.

At the time, 100 Jewish physicians who had fled Hitler’s Germany were working at Reese, a Jewish hospital. One of them came to Gettelman with a German article telling how doctors there were using sulfa drugs to cure infections, a new treatment first tried in 1932.

Several children were dying in Reese Hospital from meningitis. “I had more guts than brains in those days,” Gettelman said. He called the manufacturer, Bayer, in Germany. The company air expressed a pound of a powdered version of the drug.

There were no directions with the package. The drug, Gettelman said, had never been used against meningitis. But he decided to try it.

He asked the parents. He told them their children were dying. The parents told him to go ahead. Gettelman mixed the powder with a solution in what he thought would be a safe proportion and injected it into the spine of one of the sick children.

“It worked,” Gettelman said. “With the first patient, the temperature came down.”

The story reminded me of House, television’s irascible high-risk doctor, who operates on instinct, experience and guts.

“Do you watch ‘House?'” I asked Gettelman.

“Sometimes,” he replied.

“House would have done what you did,” I said.

Gettelman smiled. “That’s exactly right,” he said.

In Gettelman’s younger days, doctors marched through the hospital in something called “grand rounds.” Held on Sunday mornings, when all the doctors were available, the rounds were led by the head of the department, dressed in morning coat and striped pants, followed by a procession of residents and interns from one hospital room to another.

They descended on patients, who must have been surprised, if not scared. The lowest-ranked intern would spell out the symptoms. The head doctor would question the usually nervous intern. Then the group would retreat to the hall, and the department chief would explain the lessons to be drawn from the case.

When he was practicing in the Valley, Gettelman visited patients at Encino Hospital in the morning, saw ill children in his office all afternoon and made house calls in the evening. Doctors knew their patients and watched for symptoms. They didn’t dismiss childhood headaches, Gettelman said. A headache could mean polio. “A belly ache could be appendicitis,” he said.

Those days are gone, he said, and with them the young doctors who opened solo offices and started treating patients one on one, becoming part of their lives. Today’s doctors’ offices are big. Some are well organized, others not.

“The personal relationship between the doctor and the patient has deteriorated,” he said.

But on the plus side, antibiotics have all but eliminated the crises Gettelman faced in his youth. These days, he wouldn’t have to play a hunch and order those sulfa drugs from Germany.

He noted approvingly that radiology has made possible huge advances in diagnosis. Gettelman keeps up on medical developments, and he attends frequent lectures and other sessions at Cedars and UCLA.

On Sunday, June 15, family and friends will gather at the UCLA Faculty Center to celebrate his birthday. Gettelman and his late wife, Rita, had two sons, Alan and Michael. There are five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

My interview was ending. We had talked for an hour, and it was lunch time. Gettelman walked to his closet and pondered which of his several sport coats to wear downstairs for lunch. He chose the camel hair.

A table had been reserved for him. He ordered the salad, and I had the turkey sandwich. We discussed politics, not agreeing all the time, but enjoying the conversation. After an hour, the dining room was emptying, and I stood up to leave.

As I drove home, I thought about all the changes Gettelman has seen and what a remarkable man he is. This was one visit to the doctor that actually made me feel good.

Until leaving the Los Angeles Times in 2001, Bill Boyarsky worked as a political correspondent, a Metro columnist for nine years and as city editor for three years. You can reach him at bw.boyarsky@verizon.net.

A doctor’s visit Read More »

Paris with a Jewish accent

I’m sitting in a Paris courtroom, and I might as well be in an art museum. There are huge windows, high ceilings, old chandeliers, and a very nervous group ofpeople awaiting a decision.

We’re in the Cour d’appel, the French Appellate Court, on the day the court is to render its decision in the case of Philippe Karsenty against the government-funded Channel 2 television station. For the past six years, Karsenty has devoted his life to proving that the station’s report claiming that the IDF was responsible for the death of young Mohammed Al Durrah at the beginning of the second intifada was part of a staged hoax. The station was so taken aback by Karsenty’s public attacks that it sued him for defamation, and won. That was two years ago.

Karsenty appealed the decision and has made a serious comeback, introducing additional evidence and garnering more public support. Six years of his long fight against one of France’s most distinguished reporters, Charles Enderlin, came down to this moment.

Once the panel of judges took their seats, it took less than 60 seconds for the head judge to announce the decision: The case against Karsenty had no merit. Evidently, he had introduced more than enough doubt regarding the credibility of the report. Little David had prevailed against the Goliath of French media. In the controlled chaos that ensued, opposing lawyers wore a look of shock, while everybody else just sort of looked at each other, as if to say: “What just happened?” There was enough legalese in the judge’s verdict that many people on Karsenty’s side, myself included, were asking questions more than actually celebrating — wondering whether there were any legal strings attached.

But there weren’t. It was a clean victory. Outside, on the courthouse steps, cameramen and reporters were clinging to Karsenty’s every word, including his demand that the station make a public apology in reparation to the worldwide Jewish community, which had been slandered by the original report.

That night, after celebrating the victory in a kosher restaurant in a Jewish neighborhood of Paris, I reflected on the difference between perception and reality. It’s true that there’s plenty of anti-Jewish and anti-Israel sentiment in France, and in fact, the opposition that Karsenty faced during his long trial showed some of that sentiment.

But it’s also true that justice prevailed for a little Jew against an icon of French media and culture. Considering all we hear about the precarious situation for Jews living in France, that kind of result shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Beyond the high drama of this Jewish victory for truth and justice, however, there is another, quieter drama unfolding for the Jewish community of Paris. This is the silent drama of neighborhoods, the kind I often write about in Los Angeles.

During my week there, I visited two of these neighborhoods, each one going in a very different direction.

The first was the oldest Jewish neighborhood in Paris, known as Le Marais, home to the renowned Jewish Museum, a yeshiva, kosher markets, Judaica stores and anything else you’d expect to find on Fairfax or Pico.

But with one big difference: this neighborhood is disappearing.

The manager of the Mi-Va-Ni kosher grill, Benny Maman, lamented the decline. Five years ago, he told me, there were about 20 small kosher restaurants in the area; today there are only three. Same thing with synagogues, kosher butchers, Jewish bookstores, etc. There is only a handful left, mostly on one street, Rue des Rosiers.

Where Jewish merchants once stood are now trendy boutiques with names like Koo Kai and Custo Barcelona. A storefront with the faded name of a Jewish bakery is now a gay bar. Of the remaining Jewish shops, several have “for lease” signs on them.

Where did the Jewish life go? Did Jews scramble out because of the anti-Semitism we hear so much about? Actually, according to Maman, it’s mainly about the parking. When they turned Rue des Rosiers into a pedestrian walkway, it made a bad parking situation even worse. As a result, significantly fewer Jews have patronized the area, and businesses and residents have wandered off to other neighborhoods.

Like, for example, the neighborhood where I spent Shabbat, the 17th “arrondissement.” This is becoming the Pico-Robertson of Paris. There’s practically a Shilo’s Restaurant or Delice Bistro on every corner. I spent Shabbat with my all-time favorite chazzan, Ouriel Elbilia (you must hear his Shabbat CD), who runs a synagogue called Beth Rambam in an ornate old building. The community here is on the upswing, but are residents afraid of anti-Semitism? I asked a few people, and they all told me the same thing: The fear is mostly in the racially charged suburbs. But they still watch their backs around here, and several of them complained about the difficulty of making a living in modern-day France.

So those were my Jewish encounters in Paris. I met a Jew in an old neighborhood who lamented the passing of the good old days and complained about parking. I heard a Sephardic chazzan singing beautiful melodies in a thriving Jewish neighborhood, where Jews aren’t afraid to be Jews, but where they still find plenty to kvetch about.

And I hung out with an outspoken and articulate Jew who annoys the establishment with his relentless pursuit of truth and justice, and who wouldn’t mind, by the way, turning his story into a Hollywood motion picture.

Really, if it hadn’t been for the gorgeous architecture, I might have felt right at home.

David Suissa, an advertising executive, is founder of OLAM magazine and Meals4Israel.com. He can be reached at dsuissa@olam.org.



MUSIC VIDEO: French rapper Francky Perez and Broadway: ‘Hatikvah’

Paris with a Jewish accent Read More »

10 dating tips for men

I don’t think I’ve enjoyed enough successful relationships to justify my doling out advice to men about how to sweep a woman off her lonely sofa and into a date
with him.

But maybe that’s because I haven’t enjoyed enough successful dates. Dating is not only an art, but a skill, and I’ve met few men who have mastered it.

The following are some tips — or call them fantasies — for good dating that I’ve compiled based on successful dates I’ve had. Warning: They place the burden of the work on the man. The sexual revolution might have done a lot to confuse men about dating, but I think most women still like to be courted. As much as I like to be a strong, active and go-getting woman, sometimes I look for a date to experience what no professional achievement can offer: The celebration of my own femininity and quintessential female characteristics — grace, active passivity and receptivity.

These tips apply when there is mutual attraction between the two sexes — they won’t work magic when the woman gives clear indications that she is not interested. Here goes:

Ask a woman out on a date. What a concept! This means, don’t just say, “Oh, by the way, I’m going to a party Saturday night, want to come?” This also means, don’t send an e-mail (or worse, a text message) saying, “Hey, wanna do coffee sometime?” It means phone her or say to her in person, very specifically: “I’d love to take you out. What are you doing tomorrow?”

Choose a specific venue for the date. I hate it when guys ask, with uncertainty, “So what do you want to do?” I know sometimes men like to let women feel in control, but I like to see the first date as a dance — let the man take the lead. Don’t choose an ordinary venue — like Coffee Bean or Starbucks. Surprise her with a new cafe designed with a funky concept or a tapas bar, for instance.

If the date goes well, end it with a specific conclusion, not just “We’ll be in touch.” Don’t rely on the woman to make the next move. Show her that you are confident by saying that you are looking forward to seeing her again — if indeed you are — and that you will call her in the next day or two.

Initiate contact within two days after the date. Call or e-mail — but don’t text! Tell her how much you enjoyed the date — but be specific about what you enjoyed —her ideas on the elections, her passion for Israel, etc. Don’t offer corny compliments about her outfit or her eyes. Arrange the next date over the phone without letting too much time pass so that she doesn’t have too much time to doubt you.

Invest in her interests, but sincerely. There is nothing more attractive than a man who gets to know the heart of a woman by investigating what is important to her. For example, if she raves about a particular movie, look it up on Google. If she mentions an artist that she loves, offer to take her to a local museum showcasing his/her work. I once told my date how much I was influenced by “The Fountainhead.” He went out the next day and bought it. He read it within a week, enjoyed it sincerely, and indulged me in lengthy discussions about the book’s ideas. He got me.

Once you graduate beyond coffee or drinks, plan creative dates. Take her to a new art gallery, a hike into the mountains, a bike ride at the beach. Show that she’s special enough for you to put thought into the date.

Don’t pressure her for sex — ever. A man can innocently request a kiss, but, ideally, he should let the woman take the lead when it comes to sexual play. This restraint proves a man is after her soul, not just her body. You can definitely initiate affection — like handholding and cuddles. Most women love that.

In the beginning, don’t bug her or call her too often. Better to offer a few intelligent statements about her or the date rather than hammering her with one-line text messages that say generic things like “Have a great day” or “Thinking of you.” Try to avoid “biting,” “poking” or “teasing” her via Facebook. All this can come across as phony or desperate. Unless she is really insecure and needs this fawning, give her space.

Never play games. A wise woman’s worst fear is that she is dating a player or jerk. This means, call when you say you’ll call. Pick her up when you say you will. Never flake on plans without a really good, honest excuse.

Keep it up. There might be a point where you get complacent — she has responded very well to all your initial planning — and the dating action balances out. You feel comfortable around each other and the woman will initiate playful dates and outings too. But make sure that the romance and thoughtfulness never stops — even if your final date ends at the chuppah.

Orit Arfa is a Jewish Journal contributing writer based in Israel.

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