February 29, 2008

Ex-JDL member urges faith without fanaticism

Leave a Comment / Books, California, Community, Entertainment / Amy Klein

Brad Hirschfield was a member of the Jewish Defense League (JDL), the militant organization bent on fighting anti-Semitism. He spent time with JDL leader Rabbi Meir Kahane, whose Israeli political party was banned for racism and who was assassinated in 1990. By the time Hirschfield was 18 and studying at yeshiva in Israel, he was entrenched with the Gush Emunim in Hebron — Israelis intent on establishing settlements in the midst of the Palestinian population. There, Hirschfield found the passion and Zionist commitment he’d craved during his childhood in Chicago, where he became Orthodox on his own, despite his Conservative Jewish family.

But after a few years, when some settlers killed Palestinian children in retaliation for violence, it all fell apart.

“I was stunned by their deaths,” he wrote more than two decades later in his memoir, “You Don’t Have to Be Wrong for Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism” (Harmony Books, Random House, 2007). “When I sought the advice of one of their settlement leaders, he said, ‘Yes, this is a problem, but it is not a fundamental problem.’ That was when I knew something horrible had happened.

Staying in Hebron was destroying the very things that brought us there: the desire to take back power and walk the land our ancestors had. These are good things. But even the best things have limits. A lesson that I learned in Hebron was that the best things can become the most seductive — and deadly.”

The book is not called “Confessions of a Former Fanatic,” although that is what one publisher wanted — a memoir about leaving the extremist life. But that notion did not appeal to Hirschfield, who is now a rabbi and president of CLAL: The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership.

The book is not a confessional tell-all — his life as an extremist and the fallout from that is discussed in snippets, as asides. In fact, it was a different extreme event that made him decide to write the book: Sept. 11.

“After 9/11 I felt that I wanted to explain the religious impulse at its most extreme, to dig into the anatomy of fanaticism, really to probe the destructive tendencies that are part of all religions,” he wrote. “After years of simply avoiding any real examination of that part of my life, it was time to come clean and share my journey into and out of fierce faith precisely because, unlike most people who make that journey, it had left me still in love with what I left behind.”

Which is why Hirschfield’s not looking to fan the flames of extremism, hate and finger-pointing. He’s looking to bring the heat down a notch, with a prescription for how people on all sides of every argument can learn to hear each other out: “That is finally what I want this book to be: a guide to our common humanity and a source of strength and stamina and hope.”

“Look, there is a way to be passionate and proud of who you are and still embrace who others may be, even when it disagrees with who they are: that’s what this is about,” Hirschfield said in an interview from The Jewish Federation headquarters on Wilshire Boulevard, where he was about to give a lecture on the subject to different agency workers.

Federation members are also guilty of the them-and-us syndrome, he said, regarding people as insiders and outsiders.

“We spend money on studying ‘Are they coming in’ and not, ‘What do they need?'” Outsiders, he said, “don’t understand that without the institutions there is no community.”

But his book is not about addressing problems in institutional Jewish life — or Jewish life specifically. Belief.net has listed the book on its Christian site, and Hirschfield gives talks to Christian groups as well. It’s not even just about religion.

“This is about liberals and Conservatives and Republicans and Democrats,” he said, adding that tt’s about relationships of all sorts, from marital relations to global politics.

“The real issue is not to get everyone to agree, but how do you treat people with whom you don’t agree?” he said. “That is the test of a great society. You’re not Jewish because Christians are stupid, you don’t go to your shul because God doesn’t hear everyone else’s prayers. It’s a terrible way to think. That is simply cover for not being happy where you are,” he said. “Whatever person or ideology one really opposes — I understand that they’re not all equal — but even if you give me the worst one, there’s no way to teach someone what you most believe if you don’t learn from what they most believe.”

But aren’t the very people who need to ascribe to this approach the very fanatics who are probably not going to?

No such thing, Hirschfield says; everyone can learn tolerance and respect. “People pick their lines,” he said. “Traditionalists wrap it up in God’s will but liberals wrap it up in decency.”

For example, while Reform and Conservative Jews accept gay marriage, “Try and be a person who is opposed to gay ordination — that’s not so easy,” he said. Or on the subject of God, “the assertion that God is nonexistent is about as absurd as someone who says, ‘Of course God exists, and I can say what he wants.'”

Hirschfield is trying to do for religion what mediation has done for conflict resolution: instead of pitting the sides against each other with lawyers in a court of law, draining the resources of both sides until someone “wins” (where both parties really may lose), mediators find common ground between two sides and get them to come to agreement.

Easier said than done. How would one go about doing this?

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Is this a job for a nice Jewish boy or girl? You bet it is!

Leave a Comment / Education / Michael Zeldin

“We are a great institution with a great program of Jewish education. We’re looking for a top-notch Jewish educator. It’s quite an opportunity for someone, and if we find the right person we’ll do whatever it takes to make it work. Do you know of anyone?”

This time of year, I get calls like this almost every day from congregations and day schools across North America looking for highly qualified Jewish educators to direct their education programs. Later in the spring, the calls will start coming from day schools and high schools looking for teachers.

To everyone who calls I have to say the same thing: “I know of a couple of people who are looking to change jobs, but it will be hard to get any of them. Well-qualified Jewish educators will get a lot of offers from which to choose. Most congregations and schools will go scrambling, often leaving searches open for two years or more before they find a candidate who excites them. In the meantime, they settle.

Facing this shortage of qualified Jewish educators at every job level and in every educational setting, I find myself wondering why more young Jewish adults, especially among this current idealistic generation, aren’t choosing careers in Jewish education. Why aren’t more of them clamoring to be Jewish educators?

It’s not that the work Jewish educators do isn’t meaningful. A veteran educator who came to speak in one of my classes told the students that she is one of the few people she knows who wakes up every day, looks at herself in the mirror and thanks God that she gets to do what she does every day. She feels that she touches the lives of children and adults in ways that few people do.

And it’s not about the salaries. It is not unusual for congregations to list jobs for education directors (now often called “Directors of Lifelong Jewish Learning”) for six-figure salaries plus a full package of benefits. Heads of day schools can earn considerably more, and while day school teachers earn less, their salaries are quite respectable (and they are rarely out evenings!).

Nor is it that the work is not creative and exciting. Congregations are re-imagining their schools and coming up with new formats for Jewish education every year. They are experimenting with family schools, camp-like religious school models and new modes of adult learning. Day schools are always seeking ways to remain on the cutting edge of education, always searching for more effective approaches to teaching and learning. Camps and youth groups are constantly creating new ideas for engaging their clients. And throughout the Jewish community, educators are inventing new ways to reach out to populations rarely served.

Yet, how much encouragement to pursue a career in Jewish education do young adults receive from their parents, the Jewish professionals they meet or the community at large? How many young adults will not even hear about the possibility of becoming a Jewish educator as they are grappling during those after-college years with decisions about what direction to take in their lives? And how often will talented adolescents and young adults interested in serving the Jewish people hear about other avenues of service, but not about being teachers or leaders in schools, camps, youth programs and other places where Jews learn?

We who care about the future of the Jewish people can do better.

We who are parents of young adults can remind them of the impact that teachers and educators had on them. We can tell them that they can touch others the way they were touched … and that they can make a good living doing so. We can tell them about teaching fellowship programs like DeLeT and graduate programs with generous financial aid packages. (One school in the East used to offer all Jewish education students free tuition. At my school, most students are eligible for scholarships that bring their total tuition costs for a master’s degree down to only a few thousand dollars.)

We who are clergy, educators and communal professionals can invite promising young adults to talk with us about their futures. We can show them the rewarding path that lies ahead for them if they choose to become Jewish educators. We can point with pride to colleagues in our own institutions who were trained at one of the schools or programs that prepare Jewish educators, and how they’ve made a difference.

And we who are in positions of communal leadership can make sure that our institutions honor all our teachers and educators, and not just those few singled out for awards by national and local philanthropies. In congregations, we can honor educational leaders as klei kodesh, holy vessels who, like rabbis and cantors, bring the delights of the divine and the joys of Judaism to life on earth. In schools, we can honor teachers all year long and not just on “Yom Ha-Moreh” with tangible rewards for excellence and intangible signs of our appreciation.

Maybe in a few years we will be able to look back and say that we changed the landscape of Jewish life by making sure that each Jewish child and each adult Jewish learner encountered passionate, well-prepared Jewish educators, and each institution was led by visionary leaders who brought with them the wealth of talents and the gifts they acquired as they prepared for their careers. But to be able to look back this way, we have to work today to bring larger numbers of young people into the profession of Jewish education and encourage them to seek out the very best professional preparation possible.

Michael Zeldin is Director of the Rhea Hirsch School of Education at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, Los Angeles. He can be reached at mzeldin@huc.edu.

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The Arrowsmith program gets results with ‘physical therapy for the brain’

Leave a Comment / Education / Nancy Sokoler Steiner

Third-grader Yaakov Sobel is a talented painter and sculptor. And he can deliver a spot-on imitation of his teacher discussing Midrash. But when it comes to reading, things don’t come so easily.

“He can sound out words, but doesn’t have the visual memory to recognize groupings of letters as words,” said Yaakov’s father, Scott.

Yaakov’s day school provided a number of resources to help, including speech therapy, reading assistance and occupational therapy for his handwriting.

“Altogether, it was seven to eight hours a week of pull-out sessions,” said his mother, Julianne, a neuropsychologist. “He was improving, but not enough.”

Although they liked the idea of integrating their son into regular classes, the Sobels concluded that Yaakov needed a special-education program. They wanted to keep him in a Jewish environment, but only found programs that included children with emotional and behavioral problems.

Last May, the Sobels learned that Maimonides Academy, an Orthodox preschool through eighth-grade day school in West Hollywood, would become the second school in the United States to pilot an innovative approach to learning disabilities. The Arrowsmith Program uses cognitive exercises designed to strengthen the underlying brain functions responsible for learning disabilities. While new to the United States, the program has been offered in private schools in Canada for 30 years, among others by the Toronto Catholic District School Board.

“We’re taking somebody who has certain areas of the brain that don’t function up to speed … and building the cognitive capacity of those weak areas,” said program instructor Josh Horwatt, who completed a three-week training in Canada. “By rebuilding their cognitive base, it allows them to grasp concepts more quickly.”

The Arrowsmith approach targets brain neuroplasticity, the idea that the brain can be rewired as a result of training. The program has identified 19 specific learning dysfunctions — including symbol recognition, memory for information and spatial reasoning — and designed specific written, auditory and computer exercises to stimulate those cognitive areas.

Children who may benefit from the program include those with difficulties in reading, writing, math, memory and understanding, as well as dyslexia and attention-deficit disorder. It is recommended for children of average or above-average intelligence who do not have behavioral issues. Students typically remain in the program for three to four years. The goal is to reintegrate them into a regular academic program, with minimal need for special education assistance.

At Maimonides Academy, the 10 Arrowsmith students (the maximum capacity per instructor) range from third- to eighth-graders. All attend a minimum of four 40-minute daily sessions in the Arrowsmith Lab and spend the remainder of their day in regular classes. They also complete an hour and 10 minutes of Arrowsmith homework daily. Exercises, formulated to retrain the brain, are repetitive by design.

One involves tracing a full page of what looks like hieroglyphics to build fine- motor skills and symbol recognition. Another involves reading a succession of analog clock faces, in which all the clocks’ hands are of equal length. Students strengthen their mathematical and logical reasoning abilities by deciphering the time through the positions of the hands.

“They can be fun, but they can get really annoying,” Yaakov said of the repetitive drills.

The Sobels are willing to have their son invest the time, believing he can catch up on academics relatively quickly if his underlying skills are enhanced.

In addition to time, the program requires a substantial monetary commitment, with participants paying $4,500 over regular tuition. Dr. Anne Arensen Winter, director of special services for Maimonides Academy and coordinator and supervisor of the Arrowsmith Lab, notes that the children might otherwise need three to four hours a week of private therapy, which can cost $100 to $125 per hour.

The school absorbs about 50 percent of the program’s cost. Maimonides principal Rabbi Karmi Gross learned about Arrowsmith from Rabbi Heshy Glass at Hebrew Academy of Long Beach, N.Y., the first U.S. school to adopt the program. (Glass is now principal of YULA Boys High School.)

Gross feels the program’s potential is worth the investment. “We’ve seen a tremendous amount of resources being put in [to special education], but year in and year out, almost nothing changed [for the students],” he said. “We’re taking a program that could significantly change the way learning disabilities are dealt with…. If it means us going a little out on a limb here, that’s where we should be.”

Research from Canada points to the program’s effectiveness. In 2005, Dr. William J. Lancee, head of research in the Department of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, completed a three-year study of 70 Arrowsmith students. He found “all deficit areas identified by the Arrowsmith Program improved as a result of the application of Arrowsmith Program cognitive exercises.”

With the program in effect for only four months at Maimonides, it cannot yet be evaluated. However, instructor Josh Horwatt said that all 10 children have made progress according to program benchmarks. And parents have noticed changes.

“One mother told me she caught her child reading in bed,” Horwat said. “Her child’s not a reader and never would have done that before.”

Yaakov Sobel’s family has also seen improvement. They report that he reads faster, remembers words better and has neater handwriting.

Still, progress is slow. “We wanted an overnight miracle…. I’m still waiting,” Julianne said.

Yaakov’s father, Scott, has his own perspective. When he was a child, “reading was impossible,” Scott said. “I’d forget the beginning of the sentence by the time I got to the end.”

He attended remedial reading classes through his sophomore year in high school and has unpleasant memories of time spent in math detention. Although he graduated from Hastings College of the Law and is a practicing litigation attorney, Scott says that even today his reading remains slow.

So when he attended an Arrowsmith parent orientation, it was a revelation. “Everything that they talked about, I related to,” he said. “I hope the program is successful, and I hope my kid benefits from what I didn’t get.”

For more information, visit http://www.arrowsmithschool.org/ or

http://maimonidesla.com/

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Key rule for teachers: Never, ever turn your back on a 6-year-old

Heschel Day School West gets OK, but future still looks clouded

Leave a Comment / California, Education / Jane Ulman

After a protracted and often contentious battle, Abraham Joshua Heschel Day School West got the green light in late November to build a permanent school on a bucolic, 72-acre site adjacent to Agoura Hills when the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors unanimously approved its application for a conditional-use permit.

A final consent hearing will be scheduled as soon as the draft document outlining more than 29 conditions and modifications is finalized, according to Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky, whose Third District governs the now-vacant parcel nestled in a rolling meadow abutting the Santa Monica Mountains, just north of the Ventura Freeway and east of the Chesebro Road exit.

“We have imposed conditions on this school that we have never imposed on any other school,” Yaroslavsky said. For example, Heschel must contribute approximately $3.5 million for traffic mitigation and comply with stringent fire, safety, noise and community compatibility requirements.

However, instead of rejoicing and preparing to kick off a new capital campaign to fund the project, Heschel West faces continued opposition from the city of Agoura Hills, which will shoulder the traffic and safety burdens of the new school but lacks direct jurisdiction over the neighboring unincorporated land.

Additionally, Heschel faces a possible lawsuit from the Old Agoura Homeowners Association, representing the nearby community of about 420 families, which wants to protect its equestrian way of life and which has fought the project since the beginning.

“Arduous is the word,” said Heschel West board member Rick Wentz, who is in charge of land entitlements, in describing the drawn-out battle.

Wentz has been involved with the project since before the land was purchased in 1997 for $1.6 million by a group of Heschel West families. Since then, he said, the school has spent more than $2 million on consultants, studies and entitlements. In addition, he and other school representatives have also looked at hundreds of alternative properties over the last eight years, none of them acceptable.

Heschel West was founded in 1994 with 14 kindergarten students. Today, the school serves 199 students in pre-kindergarten through fifth grade on its crowded temporary campus off Liberty Canyon Road. Its middle school, currently merged with Kadima Hebrew Academy, is housed on Kadima’s West Hills campus.

According to Wentz, the school has fully complied with all environmental and zoning requirements, including the legal restrictions of the North Area Plan, which regulates development within much of the unincorporated area of the Santa Monica Mountains.

“All the issues raised by our opposition have all been looked at and addressed and approved by neutral officials charged with the protection of public health and safety,” Wentz said.

Additionally, the school has made concessions to meet the community’s concerns about safety, traffic and quality of life.

The new school, consisting of nine permanent buildings that will eventually house up to 750 students in grades pre-kindergarten through eight, will be built on 14 acres. Another 29 acres will be dedicated permanently to the Mountains Recreation & Conservation Authority to protect the Liberty Canyon Wildlife Corridor.

The school itself will be set back 300 feet or more from the nearest private property line and is designed to blend in with the aesthetics of Old Agoura, with buildings no more than two stories tall and residential rather than institutional in appearance, with wooden siding and gray shake roofs. Overall, the school is adopting an equestrian theme, designating street names such as Oak Lane and Sycamore Circle, planting natural shrubs and oak trees and putting in a split-rail fence.

In addition to appearance, traffic is another major concern to the city of Agoura Hills and to the Old Agoura Homeowners Association. But both Wentz and Yaroslavsky stress that Heschel will be accessed directly off the Ventura Freeway’s Chesebro exit, alleviating most of the traffic through Agoura Hills.

The school is also committed to paying millions of dollars toward traffic mitigation, including installing a traffic light or a roundabout right at the off-ramp adjacent to the school’s Canwood Street entrance. That determination will be made by the state Department of Transportation, and without approval for either, the school will be limited to 391 students.

Fire is also an issue, especially in terms of evacuating the Old Agoura community and all its animals in an emergency, a difficult and laborious undertaking. However, Wentz said the school is ameliorating the situation in several ways.

First, the school’s landscaping, made up of different zones of plants with different burning capacities, will be designed to slow down a fire.

Second, while advance notice is generally given to evacuate in case of fire, the school will contain a “shelter in place,” a large concrete area with oxygen and other supplies, where students and staff can wait out the fire if necessary. “It’s much safer to go to shelter in place than try to evacuate in cars,” Wentz said.

And with the school constructing a new entrance road off Canwood, adjacent to the freeway exit at Chesebro, as well as an emergency exit that connects farther north off Chesebro, the school is, in effect, creating an additional exit that Old Agoura residents can use in the event of fire or other emergency.

Agoura Hills City Manager Greg Ramirez remains concerned that parents will still converge on the school to pick up their children, despite having a shelter in place and a police guard at the school’s entrance.

“They all have to get on the freeway or cross the bridge at Chesebro,” he said.

Despite concerns regarding fire and other safety issues and despite having to work through the Board of Supervisors, given the land’s location in unincorporated Los Angeles County, Ramirez said that city officials have been recently feeling more comfortable that their concerns are being taken seriously both by the Board of Supervisors and Heschel representatives.

“We’re never going to get what we would like, but that’s part of life,” Ramirez said.

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L.A.’s Jewish high schools are all over the map

Leave a Comment / California, Education, United States / Julie Gruenbaum Fax

Yael Glouberman, an eighth-grader at Yeshivat Yavneh in Hancock Park, is awaiting admission letters from four very different high schools: Shalhevet, a Modern Orthodox coed school; Milken, a pluralistic Jewish school; YULA (Yeshiva of Los Angeles) Girls High School, an Orthodox school; and a top secular independent school.

“Each school has many positives, but we’re looking for the right fit for Yael,” said her mother, Dina Glouberman. “Some are more religious, some are more academically strong, some are more philosophically and religiously where we are.”

Adding more complexity to the decision, all of the Jewish schools Yael has applied to are undergoing changes of leadership next year. Milken, Shalhevet and YULA Girls expect to be under new heads of school, and a new head started at YULA Boys High School this year, as well. By the time Yael’s three younger siblings enter high school, Los Angeles’ Jewish upper schools may well have morphed yet again. Over the past five years, three new schools have been founded, and one is in the planning stages, as parent activists try to marshal resources to found a nondenominational Jewish community high school on the Westside.

In the early 1980s, when Dina and her husband Michael were applying to Los Angeles Jewish high schools, there was only one choice — YULA (then known as Yeshiva University of Los Angeles).

The Los Angeles Jewish community has expanded and matured since then, and its high school scene now offers nuanced choices with differences in overall philosophy, academic approach, religious level and social atmosphere.

Because of that range, a steadily growing number of families with teens are opting for Jewish immersion.

In 1987, enrollment at the seven Jewish high schools in Los Angeles covered just 720 kids, about 100 of them in one non-Orthodox school, a predecessor to Milken. Today, more than 2,600 teens attend 14 Jewish high schools in the Los Angeles area, with 1,000 students in two community schools. In addition to those in the Los Angeles area, a Chabad yeshiva in Long Beach has 55 students, and the trans-denominational Tarbut V’Torah in Irvine has 155 students. More teens in Los Angeles are now enrolled in full-time Jewish education than in supplementary Jewish education.

“It is my sense that there are more Jews who are choosing private education, and if there are Jewish schools which are offering an excellent education along with a solid commitment to values and a Jewish connection, then these are very serious options to be considered,” said Gil Graff, executive director of the Bureau of Jewish Education of Greater Los Angeles.

Across the country, the number of community high schools — nondenominational schools serving the entire spectrum of Jewish affiliation — has exploded.

In 1980 there were 10 community high schools in North America; today, there are nearly 40. According to recent studies, an estimated one-third of teens enrolled in a non-Orthodox high school did not attend a Jewish day elementary or middle school.

As competition has increased among all private secondary schools, the educational bar has been raised, and schools have been able to define their philosophies and educational approaches in more specific ways. At the same time, schools are seeing more crossover, with Orthodox students applying in increasing numbers to community schools, and Conservative students finding themselves in Orthodox schools.

Los Angeles has become a national leader in creating schools of excellence: Milken Community High School, with 600 students in ninth through 12th grade (the school also has a middle school), is the largest interdenominational Jewish high school in the country; New Community Jewish High School (New Jew) has in its five years of existence become the third largest, with close to 400 students. The robustness of Los Angeles’ high school spectrum means that students who emerge from this total immersion in Jewish life will send ripples throughout the community.

“The reason why these schools are so important is that they are educating, in the most intensive way, the next generation of people who are going to populate the active and involved Jewish community — not all of them as leaders, but as the people who are knowledgeable about what Judaism brings to one’s life,” said Rabbi Joshua Elkin, executive director of the Boston-based Partnership for Excellence in Jewish Education (PEJE), a national advocacy and resource group. “The impact the graduates of these schools can have on a community is very powerful.”

Liberal

Seventeen years worth of Milken alumni are already populating Jewish organizations around the country and providing leadership to the Los Angeles Jewish community, said Jason Ablin, who will take over in July when Rennie Wrubel retires after 10 years as Milken’s head of school.

During Wrubel’s tenure, Milken turned on its head the model of a struggling Jewish school.

Milken was founded in 1990 when Rabbi Isaiah Zeldin of Stephen S. Wise Temple, of which the school is a part, offered to pick up the pieces of a community high school that had been foundering since the 1980s. A gift from Michael Milken paid for the $30 million Mulholland Drive campus that opened in 1998, boasting of high technology (photo), science labs, theater and sports facilities and a recording studio. The luxurious setting, along with sophisticated marketing and alumni who became articulate and accomplished spokespeople, put Milken — and Jewish education — on the map for many people who might not have otherwise considered it.

Ablin plans to continue building both academic excellence and the culture of Jewish values, and to broaden the range of the school.

“Part of my goal is to expand the notion of pluralism on both ends of the spectru,” Ablin said. I want to make sure this place is accessible to families who sent their kids to public or secular private [lower] school and all of a sudden are interested in a Jewish education. And on the other hand, I want to make sure our community is represented by a traditional voice that can help us expand the definition of what it means to practice Judaism.”

New Jew has attracted students from Orthodox to Reform to those who don’t identify with any denomination, partially because of its location in the West Valley, where it is one of the only Jewish high schools, and partly because it has tailored its program to the needs of the students. With an intimate atmosphere that empowers students to achieve, both academically and in their particular areas of interest, the school has grown from 40 ninth-graders in its first year to 400 today. Students at the school have founded more than 35 clubs, ranging from a weekly philosophy club to a new group aimed at creating a relationship with the Latino community.

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Heroic parents, we salute you!

Leave a Comment / Family, United States / Bruce Powell

Being a parent is a heroic act. Being a parent of a teenager sometimes makes us feel less than heroic. Indeed, we, as parents, often become an embarrassment.

Congratulations to those of us parents who “embarrass” our kids in a manner that shows how much we love them.

To parents who “embarrass” teenagers by actually walking into the home where your children’s friends are holding a party in order to meet the parents or supervisors, nice going! To parents who supervise use of the Internet, well done! To parents who demand a curfew, regular accountability for a child’s whereabouts, way to go! And to parents who say “No” when recognizing that a reasonable boundary needs to be set, you have engaged in a heroic act.

Yes, you will get the “eye roll”; yes, you will get the “I don’t believe you are actually doing this to me”; yes, your teen might be upset. But, in a private moment years hence, when reflecting on his or her teenage years, your child might say, “Well, yes, my parents embarrassed me at the time, but I certainly knew they cared about my well-being. My friends’ parents didn’t check up on them; they thought I was the lucky one.”

Each high school year brings its own special parenting challenges. Ninth grade is the big transition from middle to high school. It is the year when some teens believe that going to a raucous party is the high point of what it means to “really be in high school.” It is a time of increased independence, yet it is also a time that demands tremendous parental focus to help your kids navigate the transitions, the social pressures, the new academic challenges and the process of really becoming independent by solving their own problems with teachers and friends.

Tenth grade brings most teens into striking distance of the magical age of 16 — more universally understood as the “Age of the California Driver’s License.” It is the moment some of us provide our callow youth with 3,000 pounds of metal to maneuver on city streets. It is a time we learn the true meaning of prayer and hope. It is a time to balance our kids’ need for independence with close supervision and a recommitment to curfews and to saying “No.” (The “No” often deserves some careful parental reasoning to convince the child of its wisdom; and sometimes the answer is simply “No, because I said so” — and that is also OK.)

By 11th grade, something miraculous happens: Some of our children begin reading the newspaper, or take a serious interest in the world beyond. We now get two years while they are still at home to engage in fabulous discussions about life, politics, religion, values and so forth. For those parents who were especially blessed, this moment may have happened at an earlier age.

There are no absolutes in child rearing, just some general guesses and a vague sense that things are all right. Most of the time, they are. From a school perspective, the big discussion about college begins in earnest in 11th grade. This is fun, daunting and demands parental clarity and balance. The key is the right “fit” for your child. In other words, fit the college to the child, not the child to the college. The college guidance counselor now becomes a very good friend.

By 12th grade, we have arrived. But where? There is nervousness about college admissions; there are sometimes the beginnings of separation anxiety on the part of both parents and children. The child wants to leave home (but, deep down is not sure; having laundry done and meals prepared is starting to look really good).

For parents, feelings are mixed: We are proud of our newly independent kids and their achievements; we want them to go off to the world, yet there is the “tug of emotion.” Not to worry: while they are in college most of us are still paying the tuition, car insurance, plane fares home and cell phone bills. They are not really gone, just temporarily absent with constant reminders of their presence, monthly.

But, for now, we still have the entire year together. Be sure not to miss some form of “tuck-in time.” Debrief, ask about their days, their vision for their futures, their thoughts on life. This is a delicious time not to be wasted. And, by the way, as prom approaches, the children’s job is a final bonding moment; the parents’ job is safety. “After-Prom” parties, meaning high school seniors going to hotels or clubs after midnight, are generally a fabulous opportunity for parents to say “No.” Invite small get-togethers at your home for a few good friends and a great breakfast in the morning.

Without a doubt, parenting is an art. More precisely, it is a strategic art. Decisions you make today have great impact over time. The emotion or demands of the moment may engender immediate decisions that have negative results.

Let’s support each other in thinking long-term; let’s partner as a true “village” and send a solid message of love to our kids by setting clear boundaries, by saying “No” when called for and showing our children how much we really do care

Indeed, parenting is a heroic act — and I have loved (almost) every minute.

Bruce Powell is founding and current head of New Community Jewish High School. The youngest of his four children is still a teenager.

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Obituaries

Leave a Comment / Obituaries / Jewish Journal

Jacob Maron, Member of the Polish Resistance, Dies at 96

In January, we lost an unsung hero of World War II: Jacob Maron, philanthropist, father of four, grandfather of 12, great-grandfather of four. He had served heroically in the Polish resistance during the war as an artillery officer and participated in the allied capture of Berlin. He fought bravely in spite of his gaping wounds and trained other survivors of the Holocaust to fight against the Nazis.

Tragically, his wife, children and parents were massacred, but Jacob remarried after the war and created a new family in post-war Germany and eventually in the United States. There, he started from scratch as a poultry farmer, working several jobs to support his growing family and to support disadvantaged relatives in the then-Soviet Union.

During his final days, his daughter, Ravi Miriam Maron, a spiritual healer and teacher in Los Angeles, comforted him with loving touch and soothing song, accompanied by special rituals and prayers prescribed by Jewish tradition for those in transition.

He remains a hero not only to those who fought alongside him, but also to those who benefited from his generosity and moral strength. He was a model of fortitude and hope. He is survived by his wife of more than 60 years, Sonia; children, Trudy, Myron, Ed and Miriam (Gershon Winkler); nine grandchildren; and four great-grandchildren.

Michael Spielberg, Former Vice President of Miramax, Dies at 49

Michael Spielberg began his career at the Creative Artists Agency and the William Morris Agency before working at Prism and later Miramax, in its early years. There he discovered(at the Cannes Film Festival) and acquired the film, “sex, lies & videotapes.”

He established its West Coast office and was vice president of acquisitions. He went on to run Monument Pictures, which included co-producing “South Central” with Oliver Stone.

In addition, he was a production/acquisitions executive for numerous companies over the years, including Fox/Lorber Home Video, Alpine Pictures and The Matthau Co. Recently, Michael earned a master’s degree in spiritual psychology from Santa Monica University and became a certified Kundalini yoga teacher. He also was a successful corporate sales trainer in real estate.

During this time, Michael developed his writing and directing skills. His short film, “Election Day,” premiered at the Santa Barbara Film Festival in 1997 and also played the Wine Country Film Festival, Athens Film Festival and was a finalist for Cannes 1997 International Critics Week.

Michael, who is not related to director Steven Spielberg, moved to California from New Jersey in 1980. He was a member of the Creative Arts Synagogue in Beverly Hills and a member of the Screen Actors Guild.

He is survived by his mother, Iris (Charles) Lord Patty; father, Morris (Shelley) Spielberg; stepsisters, Stacey Hunter and Kim Pottichin; and stepbrother, Rhett Hunter.

Dorothy Barasch died Jan. 23 at 80. She is survived by her son, Sheldon; daughters, Marsha Evans and Cindy (Larry) Shickoff; stepdaughter, Phyllis (Richard) Escalante; four grandchildren; one great-grandchild; and sister, Edith (Arnie) Gillis. Mount Sinai

Yevgeniya Basina died Jan. 22 at 77. She is survived by her husband, Khaim Basin; son, Boris (Irina); and grandson Leon. Mount Sinai

Russell Chase died Jan. 22 at 83. He is survived by his sons, Philip and Douglas; daughters, Susan Levine and Marjorie; and eight grandchildren. Pierce Brothers

Marion Cooper died Jan. 21 at 93. She is survived by her daughters, Bonnie Tucker and Gail Niles; four grandchildren; and two great-grandchildren. Malinow and Silverman

Jack Dwoskin died Jan. 23 at 93. He is survived by his daughter, Roberta (Les Langar). Mount Sinai

Raphael Finkelstein died Jan. 23 at 89. He is survived by his sons, Jerald (Faye) and Julian. Mount Sinai

Margit Fonda died Nov. 28 at 93. She is survived by her son, Peter (Judy); and two grandsons. Malinow and Silverman.

Joan Galanty died Jan. 13 at 73. She is survived by her husband, Sid; son, Mark (Carolyn); daughter, Beth (Mike) Blaney; six grandchildren; and brother Herbie (Marcie) Goldstein. Hillside

Beatrice Goldstein died Jan. 24 at 88. She is survived by her daughter, Eileen Fort. Malinow and Silverman

Melvin Kaner died Jan. 22 at 81. He is survived by his son, Craig (Judy); daughter, Karen (Leonard Schneeman) Nissim; and three grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Melba Katzman died Jan. 24 at 87. She is survived by her sons, Gordon and Richard; and daughter, Madelyn. Hillside

Sam Miller died Jan. 23 at 95. He is survived by his wife, Martha; sons, Steven (Antoinette) and Stuart (Frances); stepsons, Mike (JoAnn) and George (Pamela Griner) Bours; 16 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

William Orenstein died Jan. 22 at 90. He is survived by his sons, Steven (Rita) and Paul; five grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; and brother, Jerrold. Hillside

Arthur Owider died Jan. 23 at 87. He is survived by his son, Jeff (Lisa); daughters, Elizabeth Dodson and Nanette (Jeff) Tucker; grandchildren, Nicolas and Sarah Dodson. Mount Sinai

Samuel Joseph Paperny died Jan. 24 at 86. He is survived by his sons, David and Robert (Alison); four grandchildren; and sisters, Dorothy Dale and Lil Janis. Hillside

Joseph Poltorak died Jan. 24 at 79. He is survived by his wife, Daphne; daughter, Leane (Henry) Kahrs; sons, Steven (Daphne) and Michael (Belen); six grandchildren; brother, David (Jeanette); and sister-in-law, Yvette. Mount Sinai

Sam Presser died Jan. 21 at 92. He is survived by his daughter, Belinda. Mount Sinai

Francis Benjamin Ritz died Jan. 20 at 91. He is survived by his daughter, Judy (Fred) Ruby; and sons, Louis (JoEllen Singleton) and David (Marilyn). Malinow and Silverman

Jerry Rosenstock died Jan. 23 at 86. He is survived by his daughter, Rochelle (Paul) Miller; son, Dennis (Debra); and five grandchildren. Malinow and Silverman

Carol Shachtman died Jan. 20 at 79. She is survived by her husband, Howard; and daughter, Lynda Small. Malinow and Silverman

Berta Yuden died Jan. 25 at 90. She is survived by her niece, Susan (Richard) Fleg. Mount Sinai

Beba Zaslavskaya died Jan. 24 at 81. She is survived by her daughter, Mira; granddaughter, Elina Kogan; two great-grandsons; and sister; Fira Inzel. Chevra Kadisha

Obituaries Read More »

The defenders, more Schwartzie, Sabeel

Leave a Comment / Letters to the Editor, Opinion / Jewish Journal

Battle for Israel’s Survival

We appreciate the praise for StandWithUs [SWU] in “L.A.’s Defenders of Israel” (Feb. 15) but believe the quotes from David Myers and others unfamiliar with our work misled readers. SWU’s mission is not to advocate specific policies but rather to counter demonization and distortions about Israel with facts so there can be responsible, informed dialogue.

We do not defend all Israel’s controversial policies. We explain them factually and in context so people can weigh the pros and cons responsibly. SWU also has larger educational goals than described in the article. The media focuses so much on the conflict that people don’t even know an Israel — a dynamic, multicultural democracy brimming with cultural, biomedical and technological innovations and humanitarianism — exists. Much of our educational focus is on Israel beyond the conflict.

We also try to fill the critical knowledge gap about the regional threats facing Israel, which are obstacles to peace and must be addressed. The polarization and misunderstanding caused by labels like “right wing,” “anti-Palestinian” and “hawks” is regrettable. The bitter realities of recent years make such simplistic, dismissive labels anachronistic, and they stifle critically needed debate. SWU believes that documented facts are indispensable for debate, regardless of one’s position on the political spectrum.

Esther Renzer
International President
Roberta P. Seid
Director of Education/Research
StandWithUs

I hasten to add two comments, which I emphasized throughout my conversations with Brad Greenberg.

First, although I often disagree with the approach and message of StandWithUs, I admire the organization and its meteoric growth. StandWithUs has not only tapped into the palpable sense of fear that Jews felt after Sept. 11 and the outbreak of the Second Intifada, it has become, in a very short period of time, the address for Israel advocacy in Los Angeles and beyond.

Second, I think that what the Jewish community deserves and needs is not another round of bitter recrimination but an open debate of ideas over what “pro-Israel” means at this critical juncture in history. That was the spirit in which my quoted comments were made — as a prod to such debate, not as a dig against StandWithUs.

David N. Myers
Los Angeles

Muslim Scholar

While I deeply appreciate The Jewish Journal’s interest in covering professor Ismail Bardhi’s predicament and the phenomenal support of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR)to this heroic individual, one error needs to be corrected (“Hebrew College Funds Muslim Scholar’s Rescue,” Feb. 22).

The Scholar Rescue Fund is a program of the Institute of International Education (IIE) (http://www.iie.org/programs/srf), and is a public demonstration of IIE’s profound international commitment to academic freedom. HUC-JIR did indeed rescue scholars during the Holocaust, alone and with no assistance in those dark days. It is fully appropriate for HUC-JIR to be involved in helping religious scholars again facing violence and even death for their views today.

A generation ago it was Jews. In this generation it is Muslims, and it is a statement of HUC-JIR’s deep integrity that it would join with the Scholars Rescue Fund in dedication to this task. It has been the unwavering commitment of both institutions that has enabled this former dean of the Islamic Seminary of the Republic of Macedonia to continue his teaching, research and writing, and service as a leading Muslim scholar dedicated to reconciliation, religious pluralism, mutual understanding and world peace.

Reuven Firestone,
Professor of Medieval Judaism and Islam
Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institite of Religion

Now that there is finally a Muslim scholar in Los Angeles that promotes tolerance — a rare find, indeed — professor Mehdi Bardhi should be brought to college campuses all around the country to speak to angry Muslim student groups.
While students at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion will, no doubt, benefit from his lectures, I think our community would be better served if he helped to diffuse the anti-Israel/Jewish propaganda to which other colleges are consistently subjected.

Daniel Iltis
Los Angeles

Schwartzie

I have recently read the article appearing in The Journal regarding Schwartzie and wanted to respond to the same (“Chai Center Rabbi Explains ‘Off-the-Handle’ E-mails,” Feb. 15).

I have had the great pleasure of knowing Schwartzie and his family for many years and cannot begin to say enough kind words about each and every one of them.

Like many Jews around the world, we often struggle to find a Jewish identity in a culture and environment where true Jewish boundaries are often forgotten. What Schwartzie and his family have set out to do through the Chai Center is a truly amazing and remarkable thing.

It is a tragedy in a city like Los Angeles that if you, as a Jew, wish to attend services on the High Holy Days, in almost all cases, you can only do so by spending a significant amount of money on purchasing tickets. The fact that the Chai Center opens their doors each year during the High Holy Days to hundreds of people at no charge, allows many people to participate in the community in circumstances where they might otherwise miss out.

To attend any of the Chai Center events is to share in an experience where one can truly see how wonderful being an active and participating Jew can be, which can only continue to strengthen the growth of the Jewish community in the United States.

When I went to Israel for the first time two years ago, being able to spend Shabbat with Schwartzie and his family, starting with saying Shabbat prayers at the Western Wall, has created a lasting memory for me.

I have read the article in The Journal and understand the reaction that some of the individuals referred to may have had. I realize that for many people, this kind of a response is not acceptable coming from an organization that says it is accessible to “any Jew that moves.” Notwithstanding, Jews all around the world have differing religious beliefs and frown upon the activities of many people who do not believe in the same standards as themselves. One only has to look at the views of the Orthodox movement in Israel or take a stroll through Meir Sharim in Jerusalem to experience this.

The defenders, more Schwartzie, Sabeel Read More »

Briefs: Sderot kids share their experiences with local students, Pico business owners protest traffi

Leave a Comment / California, Community / Jewish Journal

Sderot Teens Open Their Hearts to L.A. Students

Ten high school students from Sderot, a small city that has been bombarded by rockets from the nearby Gaza Strip, traveled to Los Angeles this week to share their heartrending stories at college and high school campuses. They were brought here by numerous Jewish and pro-Israel organizations. More than 60 attendees listened intently at USC Hillel Monday as the Israeli teens spoke about life under constant attack. Among the crowd were students representing pro-Israel groups from USC, UCLA, CSUN, Santa Monica College and UC Irvine.

After showing a video clip titled, “Everyone Deserves to Live in Peace,” Tabby Davoodi, director of academic affairs at the consulate general of Israel in Los Angeles, introduced the young students, asking if they were alarmed by the loud sirens in the video. Most of them, looking a bit shell-shocked, nodded their heads.

USC was one of three stops that day on the “The Children of Sderot: In Their Own Words” tour, which also included visits to Beverly Hills High School and Taft High School. At the high schools, the teens spoke to crowds comprised of Latinos, African Americans, non-Jews and others from varying faiths and nationalities. “It is important for the mainstream population to know the plight of Sderot. We want to highlight the celebration of Israel at 60 to the larger community,” said Esther Renzer, national president of StandWithUs, noting that the group recently donated a bomb shelter to the rocket-battered city.

For seven years the city has been under siege, and more than 4,000 Qassam rockets have hit Sderot since 2005, according to Roz Rothstein, founder of StandWithUS, a co-sponsor of the event. Between 75 percent and 94 percent of children in Sderot display symptoms of post-traumatic stress, according to the Israel Trauma Center for Victims of Terror and War (NATAL), Haaretz has reported.

A few of the teen speakers discussed an incident when a 10-year-old boy, Yossi Haimov, was playing with his little sister in the courtyard of their apartment building and was struck by shrapnel, almost losing his arm. “All we want is to live normal lives like everyone else,” said Sapir Homel, 15, whose 4-year-old cousin was fatally injured by a Qassam rocket. “Conditions in Sderot are very hard,” Homel said. “We won’t leave, but it is dangerous. We don’t want Qassam rockets, but peace.”

At the event, Adi Amzaleg, was presented with a cake to celebrate her 15th birthday. “Despite everything, we stay to live our life in Sderot,” she said in broken English.

“We hear Qassam rockets every morning and night. If we don’t get hurt, someone we know will get hurt. We have no solution to the security problem. We want to live a normal life,” said Yarin Peretz, 15.

“We will be standing with you through this until it is done,” Rothstein assured the teens. “We are with you right there and are coming to visit this summer,” she said after awarding the youngsters envelopes filled with money.

In the question-and-answer segment of the event one audience member asked, “Would you want to grow up in Sderot and live there as an adult?”

“I was born in Sderot and will die in Sderot,” responded Oshar Hen, 15.

Before leaving the room, the crowd and Sderot group burst into song, singing “Shalom, Salem.”

For more information on “Live for Sderot” visit http://israelileadership.com/Live4Sderot/.

— Celia Soudry, Contributing Writer

Pico Business Owners Protest Proposed Traffic Changes

A group representing business owners along Pico Boulevard in West Los Angeles is filing for a temporary restraining order this week to protest the mayor’s Olympic-West, Pico-East Traffic Initiative.

The three-tiered traffic plan, which would limit parking on Pico and Olympic boulevards during rush hours, synchronize the traffic lights and eventually change the directions of the lanes (three west on Olympic, three east on Pico) is slated to begin implementation as early as March 8 despite a Feb. 13 Department of Transportation meeting on the initiative, which had recommended postponing action on the plan. The mayor ordered the DOT to begin implementation, saying the DOT has no jurisdiction.

Pico-Olympic Solutions, which claims to represent thousands of business owners and residents along the Pico-Olympic corridor, said this week they have retained a lawyer to file a restraining order against the initiative. “Don’t force Pico/Olympic on us,” said Brandon Silverman, leader of the opposition group. Owners fear their businesses will be adversely affected by the plan, which calls for restricted parking from 7-9 a.m. and 3-7 p.m. along Pico Boulevard from Centinela to Fairfax avenues. (The original proposal had continued to La Brea.)

“For a project like this, they need to verify what kind of losses would occur, what the financial and environmental impacts are and to get the community input on the solution,” Silverman said. “We want the opportunity to be heard.”

City Councilman Jack Weiss, who was instrumental with the mayor in pushing the plan, said the initiative would improve traffic in the area, one of the main concerns for his constituents. “We’re trying to do something immediate about it that could benefit hundreds of thousands of people,” Weiss said. “It would be a shame if someone tries to block that from happening.”

— Amy Klein, Religion Editor

Angels and Interfaith Discussion

“What is the role of angels in Judaism? It’s ambivalent,” said Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis of Valley Beth Shalom. Shulweis will be one of the panelists at the fifth annual Interfaith Symposium of Theology, Art and Music on March 9, along with Jeremy Glatstein, an art historian at the J. Paul Getty Museum; the Right Rev. Alexei Smith, director of the Office of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs of the Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles, and the Rev. Dr. David Worth, senior pastor at Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church. Rabbi Ed Feinstein, senior rabbi of Valley Beth Shalom, will moderate.

“There are some times angels themselves are considered to be emissaries of good news, and there are some times when the angels themselves are considered to be very jealous of human beings,” Schulweis said. “In general, it seems to me that angels play a very minor role in Jewish thinking: They’re there, but they’re there as manifestations as some aspect of godliness,” he said. What is interesting, he said, about this series — now in its fifth year — “is that you begin to see the commonalities and divisions in each tradition.” Discussions are accompanied by an art exhibit and followed by a concert featuring the Choral Society of Southern California, the L.A. Zimriyah Chorale and the Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church Chancel Choir.

Angels and Interfaith

The Fifth Annual Interfaith Symposium of Theology, Art & Music workshop will be held on March 9 at 3 pm at Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church, 505 N. Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills. Symposium: $25, advanced reservations required (includes dinner and concert); Concert: $10. For more information call (818) 623-1000.

— AK

Briefs: Sderot kids share their experiences with local students, Pico business owners protest traffi Read More »

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Obituaries

The defenders, more Schwartzie, Sabeel

Briefs: Sderot kids share their experiences with local students, Pico business owners protest traffi

Jewish Journal