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May 12, 2005

Get What You Give

I remember visiting Harvard Square in Cambridge 30 years ago when I was a rabbi in Brookline, Mass. Among all the curious-looking people, myriad bookstores and Harvard University buildings was a huge bin of clothes, furniture cast-offs and other items. The sign in front said something like: “Take what you need, and leave what you no longer need.”

The concept was wonderful but the application embarrassed the poor, who would take items in full public view. People would actually try on clothes and jackets and look over the furniture before taking them. It was distracting even for those who knew better.

In the Mishnah, there is a discussion about the Chamber of Secrets in the First Temple, which served a similar function. Poor and rich would enter this room, take or leave something and then emerge from the room. No one knew whether the one who entered and exited the room was taking or giving — the taking and the giving was done secretly behind closed doors. Thus it was called the Chamber of Secrets. It respected the privacy and the dignity of the poor.

In this week’s Torah Portion, Emor, we find a verse that is repeated from an earlier portion: “And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not wholly reap the corner of your field, neither shall you gather the gleaning of your harvest, you shall leave them for the poor and for the stranger, I am the Lord your God” (Leviticus 23:22).

In Parshat Kedoshim (Leviticus 19:9), known as the holiness code, we see almost an exact text of the above verse in this week’s portion. Its repetition in the Torah bespeaks its importance. God doesn’t waste words.

The rabbis instruct us in the Talmud that the reason the Torah text specifies the corners of the field was in order to leave the most accessible parts of the field for the poor. The rabbis also instruct us that the poor should be allowed to harvest the corners of the fields just after sunset — after the owner and his workers have already left their fields and after they, the poor, have tried all day to do their best to search for a job. (Other verses in the Torah instruct the employer of a day worker to pay him at the end of the day just for this very reason — so he won’t need to glean a neighbor’s field to scrounge for food for an evening meal for himself and his family).

Twilight was chosen because it was dark enough not to be recognized but not too dark to find the fruits and vegetables of the harvest. The poor would then maintain their dignity as they returned home to have an evening meal. What a wonderful picture of a caring society: the poor and the stranger both able to have their food without being embarrassed.

One of the inspirational aspects of daily prayer in a synagogue minyan — the gathering for the evening, morning and afternoon prayers when it is not Shabbat or a festival — is making a contribution to the pushke. In the morning and afternoon it is customary to make this contribution after the Kedushah, the prayer acknowledging God’s holiness in the world. We who are created in God’s image are the doers of holiness. It is holy to give to the poor and it is an act of holiness to embarrass neither the giver nor the recipient. Some put in a coin, some put in a dollar bill and some put in a $100 bill. No one knows who put in what when the tzedakah box is in the back of the room, behind the congregants.

Similarly, on the High Holidays, most synagogues have an appeal pledge card with an envelope. In this way, no one knows which tab a person puts down — so no one is embarrassed by a small contribution. One may even put a card in the envelope without putting down any tabs. No one should be embarrassed. On the other hand, it is not a violation of the Torah to be recognized for supporting synagogues, Jewish schools and organizations that do great work, because it motivates more people to give — and so more poor people will benefit and more Torah will be taught, and more mitzvot will be done.

Sometimes synagogues will hear the cry that they are always asking for money. Since I know firsthand the good work that synagogues do and the numbers of Hebrew school children who benefit from dues adjustments and scholarships, I say “thank you” to synagogues that never turn away families in need. May every synagogue and Jewish institution honor the teachings in this week’s Torah Portion to maintain the dignity of those in need and to appropriately require those who are blessed to share their blessings. In this way we honor the tradition of the Chamber of Secrets.

Gershon Johnson is rabbi of Temple Beth Haverim in Agoura Hills.

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People of the Blog

 

Here’s a theory of social change I’d like to float: Initial attempts by the established order to respond to sweeping changes are either murderous or ridiculous.

The first part is obvious: the French Revolution, Kent State, Arab dictatorships.

As for the second, Exhibit No. 1 would be Dick Cavett’s sideburns. Around the early ’70s, when the ’60s revolution was actually happening, I kept noticing how members of the media establishment — Dick Cavett, John Chancellor — all tried to fit in by letting their sideburns grow. Anchormen with sideburns, aging actors with sideburns, middle-aged rabbis with sideburns — everyone I once respected was starting to look like Chester A. Arthur. All because they thought that’s where society was going and they didn’t want to be left out.

Exhibit No. 2 is Arianna Huffington. This week she unveiled her newest venture, The Huffington Post, an online compendium of articles and musings. Following incarnations as biographer, Republican hostess, gubernatorial candidate and right-wing, then left-leaning iconoclastic pundit (not quite in that order), Arianna 6.0 is now the master of her very own digital domain. She has seen the future and is trying to leap from the choo-choo of a weekly print column to the Maglev of daily Internet interactivity.

Being the shape-shifting multilinguist that she is, Huffington’s own posts are close doppelgangers of what the technically hip these days call blogging, that is Web logs or diaries that record the author’s thoughts, feelings and experiences in something like real time while also posting links to online articles or musing by other bloggers.

But many of those Huffington has invited on are more like Exhibit No. 3: actors who respond to the written word like us non-actors would to a close-up; real writers like Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. who are clearly uncomfortable publishing something short of a 10th draft, and even Walter Cronkite, who wrote something brief and forgettable, maybe about sideburns.

The only memorable entries out of several dozens were by Larry David and Bill Maher — because no matter what the venue, funny is funny.

One hallmark of the blogosphere is that, like talk radio, it tends to cater to the converted. Instead of people of different political persuasions sharing a common forum, every group gets to fine-tune news and essays to its liking. So Huffington’s Post is the circled wagons of successful, well-off liberals — let the word go forth from Brentwood.

Nothing wrong with that, I just wonder where and how all these online opposing camps will intersect.

Once in a while, a right-wing freerepublic.com blogger might get into a long, predictable e-mail shouting match with a Huffington poster, but that’s not the same as sharing a common medium or forging social progress through dialogue.

As goes the big, wide world, so goes the Jewish one.

Earlier this month, Sh’ma magazine organized an e-mail exchange between a blogger and me on the future of Jewish journalism in the internet age. The magazine will publish an edited version of our on-line conversation in its upcoming issue.

The blogger, Dan Sieradski of www.jewschool.com, informed me that my days in the old media were numbered.

“You guys are finished,” he wrote. I think I took the heat out of his flaming when I wrote back that I agreed.

There are at least 1 million blogs on the internet now. Anybody with a computer, a modem and a thought in his head can start one. In many instances, it seems, that thought is: I think I’ll start a blog.

There are hundreds of Jewish-oriented blogs. One tracks the daily life of an Orthodox woman. New ones detail the struggles of settlers in Gaza, facing the Israeli withdrawal. There are blogs from gay Jews, frum Jews, gay frum Jews, pro-Israel Jews and anti-Zionist Jews. There’s an interesting blog called Jewish Whistle Blower, which purports to detail the shady goings on of the Jewish establishment. But someone out there felt that particular blog wasn’t forthcoming enough, so this week up popped Jewish Whistle Blower2, because, that site says, “Open debate is simply too difficult for JWB.”

Amid all this new media, I’m supposed to be the Jewish Bruce Willis, still reporting for work without realizing I’ve already died.

Of course, no one, not even JWBs 1 or 2, know what the Internet future holds. As high-capacity streaming becomes more common, and live video replaces the ancient act of typing, blogging itself will likely be replaced by even more immediate forms of communication. Today’s bloggers might just be the IBM Selectrics of their time.

Along the way to this future, there’s no question digital information is replacing print. Newspaper readership is plummeting, especially among younger adults. And although you would think the change would take place more slowly in traditional communities, that doesn’t seem to be the case. As one Orthodox rabbi told me this week, he hardly looks at anything in print anymore. I assume the exception is a certain parchment scroll.

This is as it should be. If Moses had access to OS X and an Apple AirPort, he wouldn’t have risked a hernia schlepping stone tablets down a mountain. Here we are, the People of the Blog.

Although new technology replaces old, there’s no cause for hysteria. Journalists, after all, aren’t in the printing business, we’re in the information-distribution business. The Internet doesn’t change the essential news-gathering and news-disseminating function of journalism.

But it does change plenty else.

It is simplistic to speak of blogs in general, as some are brilliant, some, like Huffington’s, predictable, and some awful. But the good Jewish ones inject Jewish life with more immediacy, more information. They allow any and all Jews to contribute to the larger community, to voice opinions and claim a stake in the Jewish debates. Many of them are more entertaining than most of the old Jewish media.

But the ease and anonymity of an Internet post, the heat of the online battle, can induce bloggers to slip their ethical moorings. The temptation to peddle gossip, to spread reputation-destroying questions before they can be fully investigated, to run with half-baked information or coarse material just for the shock value, is as great or greater in the blogosphere as it is in, well, the atmosphere. But blogging makes it easier and cheaper.

The world has changed, yes. But our traditions — as journalists and Jews — are here to remind us that the rules haven’t.

 

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So Uncool, It’s Cool

 

I favor the type of acrylic French tip nails that are considered fashionable only by midlevel porn stars. I still wear Uggs. Pink is my favorite color. I’ve seen the movie “G.I Jane” twice, and not for camp value. I thought it was good.

Today, I embrace my uncool preferences.

I used to have to fake liking Raymond Carver novels and understanding Neil LaBute movies, but now I’m free.

This is a profound change. And I understand that seismic personal shifts are rarely associated with Demi Moore movies, but hear me out. The things that truly appeal to us are a reflection of our genuine personalities. Like it or not, the real me has some really cheesy taste. The more I’ve come to celebrate the tacky things I love, the more comfortable I’ve become with myself.

Seeing a movie in Silver Lake makes me feel like the rest of the world is Beck and I’m Josh Groban. I like the Valley, the blown-out look of the flora off the side of the 101. I relish Studio City with its strip malls and Mystic Tanning salons and La Salsas. When I visit my aunt in Northridge, I savor the cul-de-sacs and minivans as much as the Santa Ana winds.

Speaking of which, last time I was visiting my aunt in the 818, I said to my college-age cousins as they stepped out to go dancing, “Are you going to get your groove on?”

I was sort of being ironic, but mostly, I was just being earnest. And earnest is the most uncool thing you can be.

“Teresa,” my cousin Josh said. “You can’t say that anymore. In fact, could you not say that again, ever? Why don’t you just ask us if we plan to ‘bust a move?'”

Even my lingo is lame.

I can’t play pool or play poker. If it’s time for a leisure activity that reeks of wealth or coordination, I’m out. I’ve never skied, been within a gurney’s distance of a snowboard, played soccer, played blackjack or gone surfing. There are two “sports” at which I’ve excelled: ballet and Ping-Pong. While I truly can play a mean game of table tennis, I notice there haven’t been many movies celebrating the dark, defiant world of the pong hustler. Daredevil ballerinas? Those are just the girls who don’t throw up lunch.

If there is any occasion for nonchoreographed “freestyle” social dancing, I will “bust a move” on out of there. Social dancing is for the uninhibited. I am uptight. Today, I don’t fight that. I gladly sit out this dance and every other, no matter who grabs me by the arm and squeals, “C’mon, it’ll be fun. This is my song!”

Sometimes, my true tastes happen to intersect with something that actually is hip; as they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I’ve always enjoyed single malt Scotch, for example. I drink it straight up, which seems to impress people. This isn’t because I’m too fashionable to imbibe Chablis or a “so two years ago” apple martini; I just like the taste of top-shelf booze and I don’t like ice melting into my good liquor. I also happen to live in Koreatown, which if I’m not mistaken, falls into the category of being so uncool it’s cool. I’m just here for the cheap housing and decorative gang tags, but folks seem to find this aspect of my lifestyle surprising, in a good way, like I’m gritty and urbane.

What’s more, Judaism seems to be in a chic phase. Is Teri Hatcher not the hottest of the “Desperate Housewives”? This year, everyone wanted to “Meet the Fockers,” making it one of the highest-grossing comedies of all time. The Fockers were cool.

I notice when people ask where my column appears, I no longer say “in a local weekly newspaper,” thus avoiding the J word, like I did for years.

But this isn’t just because hipsters throw out Yiddish words now and Ben Stiller and Barbra are machers. It all goes back to Demi, and to deciding to figure out what I truly like, not what I should, and to accepting all of it. I’m not talking about meeting strangers and bragging about the pink and the Ping-Pong and suggesting we sit down for a screening of “Striptease: the Director’s Cut.” There are some things you can keep to yourself, or let out in time. What I’m describing is an inner comfort with the totality of what makes you, from the accidentally cool to the supremely kitschy.

When you stop wasting time trying to figure out what’s cool so you can convince yourself to like it, you can begin what is, in a way, a spiritual practice. You can know that if last year’s Ugg fits, wear it.

Teresa Strasser is an Emmy Award-winning writer. She’s on the Web at www.teresastrasser.com.

 

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Israel Wins More Than Hoop Crown

 

Everybody wanted to be in Moscow this past weekend. Leaders from all over the world flew in to partake in history: President George W. Bush, French President Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder all made it, as did President Moshe Katzav of Israel.

But as the world leaders all converged on the Russian capital, only Katzvav and his wife, Gila, secured an entry ticket to Moscow’s hottest event that weekend — the Final Four of the European Cup Basketball Championship. It featured three European teams — Russia, Spain and Greece — and one non-European team from a place in the Middle East called “Israel.”

As the world’s leaders gathered in Moscow to join Russian President Vladimir Putin in commemorating the 60th anniversary of the defeat of Nazi Germany, 13,300 basketball fans gathered in Moscow’s Olympisky Arena to watch Maccabi Tel Aviv try to defend its Euroleague basketball crown.

Think about it: Moscow hosts a large ceremony celebrating the defeat of the Nazis, and, just a few minutes away from all of the pomp and circumstance, on the same weekend, Moscow also plays host to a basketball tournament that will potentially crown a team from a Jewish state in the Middle East as champions of Europe.

Some will call it irony, others will call it sweet justice, but no matter how you see it, the scene in Moscow this past weekend put a unique spin on history, one that is worth exploring as we celebrate 57 years of Israel’s independence this week.

Imagine if you had told a Holocaust survivor walking out of the gates of Auschwitz that in 60 years, a Jewish state in the Land of Israel would send a basketball team to Moscow to play for the European basketball championship. The responses would have included anything from sheer disbelief at the thought of an independent Jewish state to wondering why a team from the Middle East would play in the European league.

That Israel is competing against European teams rather than in a Middle Eastern league serves as a grim reminder of the unfriendly neighborhood where Israel is situated. Israel has had peace with Egypt since 1979, Jordan since 1994, and is currently in peace talks with the Palestinians. Yet with all the supposed atmosphere of “peace,” no realist would venture to suggest hosting a basketball tournament featuring teams from Egypt, Jordan, the Gaza Strip and Israel, which begs the larger question of how genuine all of this “peace” really is.

It’s not like the European continent is a more logical place for Israel to play basketball. Not too long ago, anti-Semitism was virtually a way of life in Europe, and just when we thought it was all over, European anti-Semitism is once again fashionable. So what is Israel’s team doing playing in Europe? Well, they’re not playing for sympathy.

In this onetime bastion of Jew-hatred, the team from the Jewish state has won five European basketball championships (1977, 1981, 2001, 2004 and 2005). France, with all of its open disdain for Israel and its laissez-faire approach to current anti-Semitism, has one title in the 47 years since the founding of the Euroleague; Germany still waits for its first.

That the current crowning of Israel took place in Moscow is also something to reflect upon. Imagine visiting Natan Sharansky in a Soviet prison during the 1970s and telling him that one day, Moscow’s Olympisky Arena would contain 7,000 Jews from Israel openly waving Israeli flags, and chanting “Hatikvah” together as their team lifted the European Cup.

That such a scenario is not fiction, but really took place just a few days ago, is an event of monumental historical importance that travels far beyond the boundaries of a basketball court.

Much to the disdain of several world leaders gathered in Moscow this past weekend, Israel is a fact on the ground, and it is here to stay. In basketball, and in many other fields, this young country continues to behave like a true champion.

This was best expressed by Tal Brody, the legendary captain of Maccabi Tel Aviv, in 1977, after Maccabi’s defeat of the Soviet Red Army Team on the way to its first European championship.

“Now we are on the map,” said Brody in a post-game interview. “And we are staying on the map — not only in sports, but in everything.”

Daniel Bouskila is the rabbi of Sephardic Temple Tifereth Israel in West Los Angeles.

 

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Mayor Hahn Deserves Another Four Years

 

There is no doubt that Antonio Villaraigosa is flashy. But Los Angeles has enough movie stars. What our community and our city need is a mayor of accomplishment and whose values are in line with ours.

We should especially appreciate Mayor James Hahn’s efforts on behalf of the Jewish community. His efforts have resulted in maximum police protection for synagogues and Jewish community centers during the High Holidays. His administration also launched a citywide campaign against hate crimes and hate language, and he’s partnered with the Museum of Tolerance in programs, for example, that offer training in resisting racial profiling.

In addition, he’s participated in economic development initiatives and cultural and educational programs in conjunction with the mayor of Tel Aviv. Mayor Hahn’s city budget, through Cultural Affairs, supports the Jewish Federation’s Zimmer Children’s Museum. And city funds also assist the Aviva Center’s work to help at-risk teenage girls.

But our community also has benefited, along with the rest of the city, from Mayor Hahn’s work to make Los Angeles the nation’s safest city.

He chaired the U.S. Conference of Mayor’s Aviation Security Task Force after the attacks of Sept. 11 to lead the fight for safer airports and aircraft.

Before Mayor Hahn, the LAPD was shrinking, reforms to stamp out racial profiling were stalled, community policing was being eliminated and crime was on the rise. Mayor Hahn dismantled that status quo, and with the help of the police chief he hired, Bill Bratton, more officers are on the street, reforms are under way, community policing is a cornerstone of the LAPD and violent crime is down this year by 27 percent.

But our city is still facing challenges, and Mayor Hahn will not rest on the successes of the last four years. He is developing an unprecedented citywide gang injunction to make every part of Los Angeles off limits to gangs, and he has never slowed his constant battle to hire more police officers.

I trust Mayor Hahn to keep up the pressure on criminals. I do not trust Antonio Villaraigosa.

Then-City Attorney Hahn pioneered the use of gang injunctions, now a crime-fighting tool that’s being used nationwide. At the same time, Antonio Villaraigosa was suing in court to stop gang injunctions.

City Attorney Hahn helped draft the Street Terrorism Enforcement and Prevention Act to bring some of the toughest crackdowns on gangs California has seen. Antonio Villaraigosa was one of just 10 votes against that law.

Time and time again, Antonio Villaraigosa has acted against crime victims and for criminals — like when he was the only vote out of 63 against a bill to toughen penalties against child abusers who kill a child.

It may be a cliché, but there is nothing more true than the fact that our children are our future. I trust Jim Hahn to turn around our schools, just as he turned around the Police Department. Our kids deserve an educational system that prepares them for success, and one that ensures the future peace and prosperity of our city.

Jim Hahn has already led the fastest-ever expansion of city after-school programs, giving more than 20,000 kids a safe place to learn after school, when they may otherwise be out on the streets and getting into trouble. And his office has provided assistance to the school district on 60 of its school construction projects, because classroom overcrowding so negatively impacts classroom learning and the quality of life in our neighborhoods.

Now, he is fighting to appoint members to the school board, establish charter schools and provide incentives for teachers to make sure the best ones come and stay in Los Angeles public schools, where they are sorely needed.

Antonio Villaraigosa is saying that he will be the “education mayor,” but in light of his failure to attend even one meeting of the City Council Education Committee he sits on this year, I question his commitment.

Although Antonio Villaraigosa takes credit for state school bonds voters passed in 1997, the reality is that, because of his mismanagement, it took a lawsuit by Los Angeles parents before our city started receiving its fair share of the bond money, which is now helping to build schools all over the city. Before the lawsuit, Los Angeles, the second-largest school district in the nation, stood to receive as little as 1 percent of the bond’s funding for construction of new schools.

I trust Mayor Hahn to move our city forward. He’s proven over his tenure as the city controller, city attorney and as mayor that he does what he says he’s going to do, and he brings results.

He’s always acted in the interests of the people, regardless of the political consequences. Hiring a new chief for the LAPD cost him thousands and thousands of votes — but it also prevented thousands and thousands of people from becoming crime victims.

Jim Hahn is a man of faith. He is a man of integrity and he is a man who delivers results for our community and the entire city. For our own good, we should vote to give him another four years.

Carmen Warschaw is a longtime Democratic Party leader, philanthropist and community activist.

 

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Villaraigosa Would Make a Great Mayor

 

On the morning of Rosh Hashanah last fall, Antonio Villaraigosa accompanied my family and me to services. He had a busy schedule that day, and as the promised hour for the conclusion of services came and went, I told Antonio

I would understand if he left.

“I’m staying,” he responded. “I don’t do drive-by fellowship.”

Indeed, Antonio remained until services had concluded, and he chatted with dozens of temple members before eventually making his way out.

Antonio Villaraigosa doesn’t do drive-by fellowship, and he doesn’t do drive-by government, either. He will work just as hard for us over the next four years and spend as much time in our communities as he has during the last four weeks of the campaign. That’s a refreshing change, because L.A. is in desperate need of real leadership.

A mayoralty is a terrible thing to waste, and for the last four years, I have seen it wasted. It is time to elect a mayor who will meet the basic needs of neighborhoods, while ensuring that Los Angeles reaches its potential as one of the great cities of the modern world. I believe that Antonio Villaraigosa will be that mayor.

In the past two years, Antonio Villaraigosa has become one of my closest friends and allies on the City Council. We were brought together purely by chance — the council is seated alphabetically, and his “V” was placed next to my “W” — and he has never failed to impress me.

The pairing of a Latino council member from the Eastside and a Jewish council member from the Westside and the Valley might seem an unusual match, yet Antonio and I have more in common than one might expect.

Each of us believes that leadership means taking a stand and fighting for what’s important, even when it’s politically unpopular. Each of us believes that we were elected because our constituents wanted us to make a difference. Each of us strives to address the big issues of citywide public policy, while continuing to meet the day-to-day needs of our districts.

We have grown closer together with our shared goal of making Los Angeles a better place to live. Antonio and I collaborated to find additional funding for new police officers without raising taxes. We fought to stop an airport expansion plan that increases our vulnerability to terrorism, and we have begun to implement better management policies for city funds, so residents and businesses in the city can be certain that public resources are not being wasted.

There are too many urgent needs in the city to accept anything less than a dynamic and determined leader to be mayor. Improvements in areas such as preserving the environment, creating meaningful mass transit and enhancing public safety are desperately needed and have gone unaddressed for too long.

We need a mayor who will bring everyone in the region to the table to solve these problems. We also need a mayor who will use his public prominence to tackle issues traditionally thought to be beyond the purview of the job, such as education and health care.

I have encouraged and supported Antonio Villaraigosa’s campaign because I know firsthand he has the leadership skills, energy and strength of character to be this great mayor.

Antonio has a unique and deep appreciation for all of our city’s diverse communities. He is as comfortable in Boyle Heights or Watts as he is in Century City and Encino, and each of these communities is equally comfortable with him.

Antonio also has a special understanding of the Jewish community in L.A. He has visited Israel twice, and his commitment to our community and Israel is unsurpassed.

The list of Jewish leaders who support Antonio is a veritable who’s who of our community — including Reps. Henry Waxman (D-Los Angeles), Howard Berman (D-Van Nuys), Jane Harman (D-El Segundo) and Brad Sherman (D-Sherman Oaks); state legislators Keith Richman, Sheila Kuehl, Alan Lowenthal and Jackie Goldberg, and former state lawmakers Richard Katz and Bob Hertzberg.

While spending time with Antonio and his family on the campaign trail, I have often wondered how he manages to remain upbeat, hopeful and level-headed while scurrilous campaign charges are thrown at him.

During an exhausting 36-hour marathon campaign weekend recently, I saw Antonio grow energized rather than fatigued as we traveled through neighborhoods all over the city, sharing his vision for Los Angeles with voters. I saw his determination, his stamina and his strength of character get him through that weekend and win converts to his cause. I am confident that those same qualities will make him an outstanding mayor.

In short, I know Antonio Villaraigosa, and I know we can trust him to be a great leader and a great mayor. I encourage you to join me in voting for Antonio Villaraigosa on Tuesday, May 17.

L.A. City Councilman Jack Weiss represents portions of the southern San Fernando Valley, West Los Angeles and hillside communities in between.

 

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Live Jews Walking

Cigarette butts, old candy wrappers, dirty napkins on the ground. Above, Jews, Jews, Jews, lots of Jews, walking, smoking, laughing. First day of Chol Hamoed, there’s a breezy, late afternoon glow. I’m sipping Turkish coffee at a café on Shenkin Street in Tel Aviv and I’m surrounded by a sea of Jewish humanity. There are Jews in caftans, Jews in bleached jeans, Jews with Michael Jackson T-shirts, Jews with big jewelry, with strollers, with spiked heels, with sandals, blonde Jews, one black Jew with a kippah, Jews with fanny packs, one with payos, little Jews with pacifiers, bald teenage Jews. Sounds of Betach! Nachon! Young Jews with diamonds on their cheeks, female Jews arm in arm, a Jew on a moped riding the sidewalk, another handing out Rabbi Na Na Na Nachman leaflets, Oriental music competing with Green Day and with a lone guitarist playing a modern version of “Shalom Aleichem.” Jews with pink skirts and Jews with jeans out of fashion, a Jew with a price tag still on her turquoise dress, a Mizrahi Jew with a disco hairdo, constant cries of “b’emet?” two 8-year-old girls walking together, not a single Jew in a suit and tie, the distant sound of an ambulance siren, cellphones hanging around necks, a red poster with the words “Coke sucker,” 1,000 conversations that aren’t about Gaza or Sharon, no one handing out parking tickets, café chairs and tables out of order — protruding out on the sidewalk like a jagged border on a map– Jews with crutches, one in a wheelchair, Jews with glitter on their shirts, a Jew on a bicycle holding a surfboard, 1,000 sunglasses (most of them placed above the forehead), a petite redhead in an army uniform, a Jew with a Yankee cap, a four-seater Renault with seven people in it and a Moshiach bumper sticker on the back (honking), a Jew with a buff torso and black T-shirt with one English word on it: “Open,” a little girl in a stroller who looks just like my little Eva, a tough-looking Jew with long sideburns who needed four fender bumps to park his Rover hatchback, a girl with pink hair, a little storefront with a huge sign that says The Krenko Records Shop, a little black dog without a leash, a Peruvian-looking man with long, black hair holding a baby, a beggar saying “Chag Sameach,” a frum mother with her daughter, no one taking pictures, a bathroom stall with a narrow, vertical window (presumably so a security guard could see inside) and a small poster of the new Sean Penn/Nicole Kidman movie. Pretty much everyone talking, either live or on a cellphone, sun setting and not many people leaving, no CNN news crew in sight, litter on the ground, live Jews everywhere.

David Suissa is editor-in-chief of Jewish Journal.

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First Haircut Brings Shear Delight

“Come to New Jersey,” my grandaughter said, “we’re having a simcha!”

A wedding? A lottery win? She doesn’t explain. Then I think, airfare $240, motel $220 and then there’s expenses for my lovely wife — hair, nails, Louie XVth gown. This will run me $962!

I ask a dozen probing questions about the nature of this simcha. Did she have another kid? Is the Mosiach coming for dinner? Is she getting a new husband? Has the bank decided to forgo her mortgage?

“No,” she said.

So, why must I pawn my future to United Airlines, the Hilton Hotel Corporation and Macy’s?

“What’s going on that’s worth deducting four digits from my three-digit bank balance?” I asked.

Well, this paragon of a granddaughter, who is as observant as the Gaon of Vilna before his arguments with the Baal Shem Tov, explained that her 3-year-old son is having his hair cut for the first time in his brief life. (So why can he miss three years and I’m in trouble with the wife after three weeks?)

“Big deal,” I said, “I’m gonna shave tomorrow morning, but I don’t expect you to disrupt your life so you can watch me lather up.”

“No, no! It’s his upfsherin,” she said, “his first haircut.”

It is an important event, my granddaughter said. “We don’t cut his curly locks, just as we don’t harvest the fruit trees until they are 3 years old.”

An upfsherin, she said, is all about the unity of nature — the kinship of man and the other creatures that thrive in God’s world. Humanity and the sycamore tree both have their feet in the earth and their head in the sky. The tree produces fruit or seed while man produces deeds.

Even at the age of 3, the toddler begins his path to responsibility that culminates at bar mitzvah. This rosy, dimpled child, with curls that would revive Michelangelo to paint just one more cherub, is due for an upfsherin.

Next thing you know I’m sitting with a living room full of relatives in Passaic, N.J. In the middle of the room on a stool sits the honoree, Shimon Leib. (He’d look just like me if he was wrinkled around the eyes and mouth and the skin around his little neck was droopy and his hair was gray and absent on top and back of his head.) With the spotlight focused on his gilded face, this Jewish Tom Cruise of the 2020s behaves angelically.

Each relative steps up and cuts a lock. He chirps as I clip. It’s not long before I realize not one of us is a professional barber. He was prettier before. But as my granddaughter would say, only on the outside; inside he’s a 10.

As the dozen or so amateur barbers hack at his hair, my granddaughter — proud but nervous — watches from the corner. Those scissors are sharp, she thinks, and if he’s going to enjoy a fruitful life, he’ll need both ears to hear his teachers.

The floor is carpeted with blond ringlets and Shimon soon has a trendy, spiky look.

He’s on his way, Sh’or Yoshuv Institute’s Rabbi Aron Rothman told me. You might think of it as a pre-bar mitzvah warm-up. He’s not exactly responsible for his ethical behavior, but you can no longer hope he’ll turn off the bedroom light switch that someone left on Friday night.

Then the rabbi, who wisely only observed phase one, swung into action. He and the ex-cherub sat at the dining room table like Rabbi Akiva and one of his prize scholars. A large sheet of Hebrew letters sat before them. The rabbi coated the letter gimmel with honey and pointed.

“Say gimmel,” he said.

“Gimmel,” said Shimon as he touched the letter.

“Now lick your finger, Shimon,” the rabbi said.

Shimon, who never needs a second invitation for a snack, obeyed and smiled. Many letters were learned, and much honey was smeared on his little face. May all his learning and his life be as sweet.

Ted Roberts is a humorist based in Huntsville, Ala.

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A Bissel Taste of Big Apple’s Best

 

“Arthur Schwartz’s New York City Food: An Opinionated History and More Than 100 Legendary Recipes” by Arthur Schwartz (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, $45).

“I am not the first in my family to be obsessed with food,” food writer Arthur Schwartz said. “I like to say I was born with a wooden spoon in my mouth because there was always cooking going on, and I was always asked to taste and offer my comments. Enough salt? Enough pepper? Does it have the right ta’am?” she said, using the Hebrew word for taste.

No wonder Schwartz became a food critic, renown for the outspoken and droll persona he developed on his former N.Y. radio show and as executive food editor at the New York Daily News. Or that his award-winning new book, “New York City Food,” is subtitled “An Opinionated History.” The exhaustively researched work offers his take on Gotham’s food personalities, recipes and ethnic cuisine, with loving attention to Jewish fare — “My soul food,” he said.

Besides exploring the origin of the 21 Club and chicken and waffles (some say Los Angeles; Schwartz says Harlem), he dishes about such subjects as the “Jewish champagne,” Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda; Arthur Reuben, the first restaurateur to name sandwiches after famous people, and early-20th century bagels, called “cement donuts” because they turned dense an hour after leaving the oven.

Also included are recipes for the perfect matzah ball and babka, the coffee cake that means “grandma” in Polish. It’s so named “because in its original form it was stout and round, just like grandmothers used to be before they went to aerobics classes and practiced yoga,” he said.

Speaking from his Brooklyn apartment, the 58-year-old Schwartz bantered in a similarly witty (and opinionated) fashion about how to properly eat deli sandwiches (God forbid you should put anything but mustard on pastrami) and just how much Jewish immigrants influenced Big Apple cuisine.

“Some of the most quintessential New York foods are of Central and Eastern European Jewish origin: bagels and lox, pastrami on rye, corned beef, pickles, cheesecake, matzah balls, knishes,” he said.

If those foods eventually migrated west to Los Angeles, it all began in Manhattan with the creation of the now-ubiquitous delicatessen. Although Schwartz can’t name the first such restaurant, he traces the institution, in part, to individuals such as Isaac Gellis, the Berlin-born sausage manufacturer who by 1872 was producing “mountains of kosher sausages, frankfurters and other cold cuts.”

“One reason these meats became so popular — along with lox, which is salted salmon — is that they require no further cooking,” Schwartz said. If you lived in a tiny tenement apartment with minimal cooking facilities, these were like convenience foods of their day.”

Lox, however, probably did not meet the bagel until the 1930s, Schwartz discovered while interviewing Florida retirees and food author Joan Nathan. Rather, Jews ate the fish on black bread until Al Jolson sang his song, “Bagels and Yox,” on a radio show sponsored by Kraft, the cream cheese manufacturer, around 1933.

Other Schwartz research revealed secrets of the now-elusive egg cream, a mix of seltzer, chocolate syrup and milk supposedly invented by Louis Auster in a Lower East Side candy store circa 1910. Initially Auster’s grandson, Stanley, kvetched he couldn’t discuss egg creams because of his heart condition; after prodding from his wife, he revealed one of grandpa’s secrets was the particularly vigorous bubble in a homemade carbon dioxide charged seltzer. Schwartz now recommends using highly carbonated supermarket soda water, rather than old-fashioned seltzer from a siphon bottle, to make the beverage.

“This, of course, has gotten me into trouble with my friends, the seltzer men of Brooklyn,” he said.

If the egg cream has dwindled as the preferred Jewish soft drink, the tribe’s love of Chinese food has continued to thrive in the past six decades.

“It started because Jews could go into a Chinese restaurant and feel safe,” Schwartz said. Until the 1970s, only three types of restaurants existed, besides Jewish ones, in New York: French was for fancy occasions, Italian was intimidating due to the Madonna over the cash register, but Chinese was cheap, tasty and nonthreatening.

The Chinese, after all, weren’t Christian; the statue of Buddha looked like a decorative statue, or perhaps your fat Uncle Moe, and Jews were one step up the socioeconomic ladder from the Chinese. “As Philip Roth points out in ‘Portnoy’s Complaint,’ to a Chinese waiter a Jew is just another white guy,” Schwartz said.

And while the treif drew Jews who wanted to rebel against kosher parents, the minced meat and lack of dairy ingredients allowed others to blithely “cheat” on kashrut.

“My late cousin Danny, who was kosher, along with many other otherwise observant people I have known, happily ate roast pork fried rice, because the meat was chopped into such small pieces,” Schwartz said. “The attitude was, ‘What I don’t see won’t hurt me.'”

In Schwartz’s Brooklyn childhood home, take-out Chinese graced the menu, along with his grandmother’s refined Russian Jewish cooking. Young Arthur completed chores such as chopping liver and cranking the meat grinder; he also absorbed his grandfather’s stories of selling pickles from a pushcart during the Depression and working as a curmudgeonly waiter in a Romanian Jewish Steak house.

Schwartz, for his part, got his first food job by admitting he had no proven qualifications.

“I have gathered instead three personal endorsements,” he wrote to Newsday editors in the late 1960s.

“‘Arthur’s oysters Rockefeller saved our marriage — Elaine Schwartz, wife. Arthur’s pot roast is even better than my mother’s — Sydell Schwartz, mother. Arthur’s chocolate soufflé aggravates my diabetes — Eva Rothseid, mother-in- law.'”

Since then, the food writer — nicknamed “The Schwartz Who Ate New York” — has knife-and-forked his way through all five boroughs and has written five books, including “What to Cook When You Think There Is Nothing in the House to Eat.”

Among food authors, he is known as the culinary ambassador from Gotham: “Arthur is a walking encyclopedia of New York food, and certainly of New York Jewish food,” Nathan said.

“He is the most reliable expert on food for real people,” L.A. Weekly restaurant critic Jonathan Gold said. “He is the guy you’d ask where to get the best pastrami, and you’d believe him.”

For Schwartz, opining about pastrami and other Jewish fare was the easiest part of writing his new book. “It’s my life, my history,” he said.

 

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A Yiddish ‘Fiddler’ to Honor Aleichem

Actor and Yiddish-language true believer Theodore Bikel grew up in prewar Europe, with German as his first language and Yiddish a quick second, partly due to his father reading his family Sholom Aleichem stories every Tuesday night.

“He picked the night,” said Bikel, now 81 and set to co-star in this weekend’s Sholom Aleichem Jubilee at the Emanuel Arts Theater in Beverly Hills. The event coincides with the 89th anniversary of the Yiddish writer’s death.

Sponsored by Yiddishkayt Los Angeles and the California Institute for Yiddish Culture & Language, the jubilee’s marquee event is “A Comedy That Honors a Legend/A Komedye Lekoved a Legende” in English and Yiddish, with Bikel and French actor Rafael Goldwaser. Bikel will perform selections from his seminal role as Tevye the milkman in the Aleichem-fueled perennial theater hit, “Fiddler on the Roof.”

But “Fiddler” will be performed in Yiddish, for the first time in the United States. (“Fiddler” is an English-language play based on a composite portrait of the Tevye character from Aleichem’s Yiddish-language stories. About 20 years ago, an actual Yiddish translation of the English-language “Fiddler on the Roof” was created. That play has been performed in Israel, Australia and Canada but never in the United States.)

“I’m rather looking forward to it,” said Bikel, who plans to showcase about 10 to 15 minutes of the play.

Aleichem has sometimes been compared to American humorist Mark Twain.

“There were a lot of similarities not only in their humor and their satire, but also in terms of how their lives developed,” said Miriam Koral, director of the California Institute for Yiddish Culture & Language.

“At one point,” she continued, “they both married into wealthy families, and then they lost it all with bad investments. So they both had to make a living from their pens, and by going on these reading and speaking engagements all over the world. And they each had a child who died early as an adult. They shared that common tragedy as well.”

The famed Yiddish writer was born in Russia in 1859 and died in New York on May 13, 1916. Some 100,000 people reportedly attended his funeral, and Aleichem’s will stipulated that his yahrtzeit always be marked not by reading one of his many tragic works, but with an excerpt from his comedies.

This weekend’s performance, Koral said, will have a “contemporary spin to it as well. It’s all been put together in a modern way.”

Bikel is on friendly terms with Aleichem’s granddaughter, Bel Kaufman. At Bikel’s 80th birthday celebration last June at Brentwood’s Wadsworth Theater, Kaufman said the real-life shtetl milkman who inspired Tevye “wasn’t at all like this handsome Theo.”

There are no plans for a full-length Yiddish-language “Fiddler” to hit Broadway or off-Broadway, the actor said, “because the budget is almost insurmountable,” at least $500,000 to $750,000 minimum.

Bikel said he probably will sing the Yiddish version of “If I Were a Rich Man” and “The Sabbath Prayer.”

Bikel’s Yiddish favorites also include the gritty prose of the late Issac Bashevis Singer. The actor noted that when Singer accepted the Nobel Prize for literature in 1978, it was “the only time that Yiddish was ever spoken at the Nobel ceremony.”

Koral, the Yiddish institute director, said she chose Goldwaser, because the French actor had done well-regarded Aleichem readings in Belgium, Paris and at Toronto’s Ashkenaz festival.

Goldwaser could not in any intellectual way explain why he loves performing Aleichem, only saying, “Can you tell me why do you like — or not — chocolate? To do Sholom Aleichem when you deal with Yiddish literature is a must.”

Koral said she hopes this month’s Aleichem celebration will be an annual event for the writer, whose Yiddish stories inspired one of the most enduring theatrical successes in the English-speaking world. To Koral, a Yiddish lover has not really lived in the language until that person has heard some part of “Fiddler on the Roof” in Yiddish.

“It has a whole ‘nother ta’am, a whole ‘nother flavor,” she said.

“A Comedy That Honors a Legend/A Komedye Lekoved a Legende” will be performed in English and Yiddish on Saturday, May 14 at 8 p.m. Emanuel Arts Theater, 8844 Burton Way, Beverly Hills. For tickets: $20-$8 call (310) 745-1190.

“Theater in Kasrilevke/Teater in Kasrilevke” the first U.S. screening of a Yiddish-language short animation, based on a Sholom Aleichem story screens on Sunday, May 15 at 2 p.m. Also, “Word Concert/Vort Kontsert,” modern Yiddish poetry performed by Rafael Goldwaser. L.A. Yiddish Culture Club, 8339 W. Third St. (Second Floor), Los Angeles. Tickets $5, members free. To R.S.V.P., call (310)745-1190.

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