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April 24, 2003

The Modern Exodus Should Not Be Forgotten

As an Egyptian Jewish refugee, I celebrated Passover with special meaning. Passover is a time to commemorate the Jews’ liberation from slavery in Egypt in 1300 B.C.E. and return to freedom in Israel.

At my family seders in Cairo in the 1940s, we felt as if we represented the enduring memory of that exodus. Little did we know that we would soon experience our own exodus from Egypt as a result of racism and oppression.

The haggadah instructs us that by retelling the Exodus story, we should feel as if we ourselves experienced persecution and exodus from Egypt. This year, we took a moment to experience the modern exodus of Middle Eastern Jews, 1 million of whom fled their homes in Arab countries and in Iran between 1940 and 1980 under duress.

Jews are the oldest, existing indigenous group in the Middle East. While our communities long predate the Arab conquest of the region in the seventh century, our contributions to modern Arab states are immense.

Sasson Heskel, a Baghdadi Jew, was Iraq’s finance minister in the 1930s. My relative, Mourad Bey, helped draft the Egyptian Constitution in the 1930s. (Not many Egyptians know that a Jew helped draft the constitution.) And Layla Murad, the great diva of Arabic music and film, was also an Egyptian Jew — our own Barbra Streisand.

But even as child, I understood that Jews were second-class citizens. Signs in the street read: "El Yahud kalb el Arab" (the Jews are the dogs of the Arabs). At school, my best friend, Menyawi, turned to me and said with a half-smile, "One day, all the Jews will have their throats slit."

An older Muslim man advised that if I was threatened in the streets, I should say: "Ana Muslum, M’wahed b’illah" (I am a Muslim and believe in one god).

Despite the hatred in the air, my family was successful. In 1950, as a teenager, I attended a British prep school in Cairo that boasted prominent alumni like King Hussein of Jordan and Columbia professor Edward Said (who never writes how his Jewish classmates were expelled from Egypt). But I never got the chance to graduate.

In 1952, Egypt’s new nationalist leader, Gamal Abdel Nasser, began arresting Jews on trumped- up charges and confiscating their property. My uncle and cousin were arrested, and a warrant was issued for my father.

My family happened to be traveling in Europe, and my father said: "We’ll never return." My uncle chose to remain, and following the 1967 war with Israel, was thrown in an Egyptian concentration camp for three years, along with hundreds of other Egyptian Jews.

In 1943, 80,000 Jews lived in Egypt. In 2003, fewer than 50 remain. In 1300 B.C.E., the Israelites were forced to flee Egypt so fast that their bread didn’t have time to rise. In the 1950s and 1960s, Jews were forced to flee Egypt so fast that they didn’t have time to pack their bags.

This pattern of intimidation and expulsion was repeated in countries throughout the Middle East: Morocco, Libya, Syria, Iran, Yemen and Iraq. Arab governments forced hundreds of thousands of Jews from their lands through government laws and waves of pogroms.

The American Sephardi Federation estimates that Arab governments confiscated tens of billions of dollars in property and assets from fleeing Jews.

Some fled to Europe and America — like Vidal Sassoon from Iraq or Jerry Seinfeld’s mother from Syria. But the majority returned to Israel, where today more than half of the population is Mizrahi — the descendants of Jews who fled the Middle East and North Africa in the 20th century.

But Arab governments today do not retell the story of Jewish flight from Egypt. I recently checked into a hotel and struck up a conversation in Arabic with the Egyptian woman working behind the counter. Astonished to learn I fled Cairo as a teenager, she said: "I didn’t know there were Jews in Egypt."

And today, hatred of Jews is stronger than ever. I see it in the Arab media, school curricula and, of course, the mosques. Just a few months ago, Egyptian television ran a 41-part series based on the anti-Semitic myth of the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." The same hatred that drove us from our homes now fuels suicide bombings and lynchings, and the challenge before us is to stop this racism once and for all.

Just as we recall the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt, we should not forget the modern exodus of Jews in the Middle East. Passover is the time to commemorate these lost Jewish communities and seek justice for the victims of the Forgotten Exodus.

When Arab governments recognize their role in turning nearly 1 million Jews into refugees, peace will at last be possible.


Joseph Abdel Wahed is the former chief economist of Wells Fargo Bank and co-founder of JIMENA: Jews Indigenous to the Middle East and North Africa. For more information, visit The Modern Exodus Should Not Be Forgotten Read More »

Painted Clowns

I’m drinking at a bar called the Dirty Horse on Hollywood Boulevard. Well, that’s not the real name but I never got a look at the sign and that name seemed right.

It fits the place, with its plastic pitchers of beer, painted clowns on black velvet, bowls of peanuts and the fast-talking, baseball-hat-wearing guy at the end of the bar who clutches a clipboard and swears he can hook you up with tickets to a taping of “Yes, Dear.”

That’s the nature of the place, a bar — where as you can probably imagine — a half-pretty girl in a three-quarters-dark room gets served a pretty stiff drink. I’m drinking martinis for the simple reason that they work fast and I’m on a bit of a schedule. I’ve been on the road working for all but four days of the past six weeks and I’m wound up tight. I keep thinking about my perpetually overheating Taurus, the way the mechanic’s gloved hand slowly loosens the radiator cap and lets the steam out.

At some point, the line between Mickey Rourke and me blurs. I slur. I buy drinks for strangers. I spill the contents of my purse onto the floor. By the end of the night, I have no cash, none.

In the interest of making sure the cliché train doesn’t miss a single stop, I make out with my ex-boyfriend, who is my designated driver and seated on the stool next to mine. It is later reported to me that without warning, I burst into tears and had an impassioned discussion about not much in said ex’s ear.

Hold that thought.

Several months before the Dirty Horse, I was out with a guy my girlfriend dubbed Sexy Pete. Pete’s in the music industry, dresses well, appears to take his workout regime very seriously and would never let you pay for dinner. Sexy Pete has been around. Normally, I’d never go out with a guy who exudes more sex appeal that mensch appeal, but my friend talked me into it.

“Now that you’re 30, things are different. In your 30s, you don’t worry so much. You just have fun,” she explained.

Not to shock you, but it turns out Sexy Pete just “wasn’t into a relationship right now.” Still, we went out a couple times before that last date, which ended up with me back at his place, very late at night. We talked on his couch. It got late, then early. He fell asleep and I was stuck there, not knowing whether to extricate myself from Sexy Pete’s sleepy grip or stay.

I thought to myself, “I’m in the apartment of a guy who couldn’t care less about me. He barely speaks. He has no interest in a relationship; a sentiment I finally understand has no hidden meaning for men. This is about to get really sad if I don’t leave now.”

Out I went. Pete, with all the enthusiasm of a catatonic patient at a hospital square dance, muttered, “Don’t leave.”

The door was already half shut and it closed. I was out on an unfamiliar street in last night’s boots and skirt. I spotted my car in the harsh light of early morning and the old Taurus had a brand new ticket.

This is what I call a Karma Ticket, the kind you get when you are where you shouldn’t be. It never fails. You may also be familiar with the Nobility Ticket, the kind you get when you couldn’t move your car because you were working and didn’t want to lose your flow, listening to a friend discuss her divorce or otherwise doing good in the world. You feel good when you pay these and almost want to write in the memo line of your check, “Fee for being such a good person.”

Because I’m 30, I don’t cram the Karma Ticket in the glove compartment and forget about it until it doubles. I pay it.

Now back to painted clowns.

I wake up after my evening at the Dark Horse. In my 20s, I would have had a series of concerns, sort of a self-administered shame questionnaire: Why did I do that? Should I still be dating that ex? What does it all mean? Why do I have to be such a jackass?

But now, it’s about slack. Just like my friend predicted, I don’t worry so much. I’m old enough to know what it costs to get wrapped up with a guy like Sexy Pete, which doesn’t mean I don’t get close, but it’s three dates and out. I don’t need to interpret what’s wrong with him or with me. I just move on with the mollifying impact of slack easing the way. I call the ex and we go over the highlights of the Dark Horse. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.

Here’s the thing, if you spend the night where you shouldn’t or get crazy on martinis once a year, there’s no need to judge yourself. When it comes down to it, a few painted clowns doesn’t make your life a circus.

Teresa Strasser can be seen Fridays 8-10 p.m. and weekdays at 5 p.m. on TLC’s
“While You Were Out” and is on the Web at www.teresastrasser.com.

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Holy Boundaries

This week’s Torah portion includes the verse: "Do not lie with a man as with a woman. It is an abomination" (Leviticus 18:22).

The subject is particularly at issue because the Conservative movement is now revisiting Jewish laws around homosexuality and the ordination of openly gay Jews.

The meaning and implications of this famous verse are disputed. A literal translation is: "Do not lie down the lying down of women." Some scholars interpret this as referring to penetration or specific cultic practices. The word to’evah (abomination) is undeniably negative (Lev. 20:13). However, the Bible uses to’evah to describe everything from eating nonkosher animals to withholding charity to practicing idolatry to committing adultery. Why should one particular to’evah of men who "lie down the lying down of women" become the measure of turpitude? Why should heterosexuality (or abstinence from homosexuality) be the litmus test for religious leadership, among and above other behaviors and values?

The verse is also significant for what it does not say. There is no biblical law against women partnering with women, and rabbinic prohibitions are both late and weak. Restrictions against lesbians are rooted primarily in social critique and emotional response, not halacha. Shall we therefore ordain lesbians, but not gay men? Some rabbis stiffen the prohibitions against lesbians to preserve sane and consistent mores. Others, like Bradley Shavit Artson, find halachic ways of softening prohibitions against male homosexual sex.

As I understand the peshat (simple, contextual meaning) of Lev. 18:22, it prohibits and condemns sexual contact between men. However, that is where rabbinic interpretation begins, not where it ends. We have ample rabbinic precedent for imposing restrictive definitions, or expansive requirements, in order to mitigate or effectively eliminate biblical punishments and judgments. Consider rabbinic limitations on the death penalty, compared to biblical law. Had the ancient Sages accepted the peshat of Deuteronomy 21, the stoning of rebellious children would pose quite a challenge to Jewish continuity. Within the Bible itself there are changes in law and morality (e.g., regarding the treatment of slaves).

Rabbinic decisionmakers readily admit that rulings and argumentation typically begin with the desired end in mind. That desired end, in turn, is based on rabbinic hierarchies of values, on privileging certain texts and ideas over others.

Rabbis Hillel and Akiva both taught, in different words, that loving one’s neighbor as oneself is the essential principle of Torah. Why should that principle hold any less true in a discussion of sexual behavior? Opponents of gay rabbis sometimes equate homosexuality with molestation, bestiality or promiscuity. Loving adult relationships should not be confused with the abuse of children or animals. Monogamous partnership is a Jewish standard we can and should prize, regardless of sexual orientation. Even if one regards both adultery and monogamous gay partnership as sexual sins, the former hurts people and breaks covenant; the latter increases love in the world.

It is hard to convey the pain and damage caused to our neighbors by excluding gays from Jewish communal acceptance on the one hand, and tolerating sexual abuse on the other. The movements — Reform, Orthodox, Conservative, Reconstructionist and Jewish Renewal — have not yet adequately addressed molestation, sexual harassment or sexual misconduct by Jewish leaders. The challenge is to rigorously define and practice a comprehensive Jewish sex ethic in which "not doing what is hateful" takes priority.

Leviticus 18 suggests that one pillar of Jewish sexual ethics is maintaining appropriate boundaries. I oppose and would mitigate or uproot the prohibition against male homosexual sex, and the presumption that men own the sexuality of their women (Lev. 18:16). Still, I value the public reading and conversation about sexual boundaries that we hold now and on Yom Kippur. The Torah reading reminds us: Don’t abuse another. Your body is your vessel. Holiness requires distinctions. Sexuality can undermine or enhance holiness. Certain boundaries should not be crossed.

I acknowledge that the issue of boundaries is precisely why some Jews sincerely believe that homosexuality must continue to be characterized as abomination. If that is your position, I urge you nevertheless to welcome religious leadership from gays. Every human being — and therefore every rabbi — sins. Gay men and lesbians can serve the Jewish community nobly; as a class, they have no moral or religious failing.

If we accept that gay Jews can serve the Jewish community, can we ask our gay rabbis, cantors and educators not to find a life partner, not to celebrate when they do and not to raise Jewish children? Is that what it means to be a Jewish role model?

Several rabbis have been credited with saying: "I am not lenient regarding the laws of Shabbat; I am stringent on laws protecting life and health." (Thus, they defend and endorse violating Shabbat for the sake of obtaining medical care, even when the patient might have waited.) Without in any way comparing myself to these sages: I don’t consider myself lenient regarding laws of sexuality. I try to be stringent on "love your neighbor as yourself."


Rabbi Debra Orenstein is spiritual leader of Congregation Makom Ohr Shalom in Tarzana and a frequent scholar-in-residence.

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Community Briefs

Spiwak Resigns From UJF; Bernstein FromFederation

The faces of The Jewish Federation’s main fundraisers are changing.

Leo Spiwak, the lay campaign chair of the United Jewish Fund (UJF), has resigned after 3 1¼2 months on the job. A group of past campaign chairs will take over until the end of the year. Laurie Konheim, vice chair of the campaign, has been tapped to become campaign chair for 2004.

Spiwak said he decided to leave because of his busy schedule, which includes extensive travel and serving on five boards. He also said he thought now was a good time to leave UJF because he had successfully overseen many of the year’s major fundraising events, including Super Sunday and the Hineni Event for $100,000 donors.

Meanwhile, The Federation’s campaign director plans to step down this summer. Bill Bernstein, an eight-year veteran, has accepted the position as chief executive of The Jewish Federation in Boca Raton, Fla. Los Angeles Federation President John Fishel said he was sorry to see him go, but understood Bernstein’s reasons for leaving.

“He’s a young guy with a lot on the ball, and this is a great opportunity for him,” Fishel said.

A replacement has yet to be named.

Despite a troubled economy, The Federation has raised $24.7 million since January, $300,000 more than the same period a year ago, Fishel said. Those figures exclude one-time and directed-giving gifts. — Marc Ballon, Senior Writer

FBI Report Calls LAX Shooting’Terrorism’

The shooting deaths of two Israeli Americans at Los Angeles International Airport last year was an act of terrorism, but the Egyptian-born killer had no links to Islamic extremist groups, according to a final FBI report on the case.

The FBI findings came more than nine months after the July 4 shooting rampage at an El Al ticket counter by Hesham Mohamed Hadayet, which claimed the lives of Yaacov (Jacob) Aminov, 46, a jewelry importer, and Victoria (Vicky) Hen, 25, a ticket agent.

Standing in the El Al passenger line, Hadayet suddenly opened fire with a .45-caliber handgun, killing the two victims, and was himself shot and killed by an El Al security guard within seconds.

After waffling for months over Hadayet’s motives and whether to classify the attack as terrorism — to the frustration of the victims’ families and Israeli officials — the FBI concluded that the Egyptian immigrant had methodically planned the killings to express his anger over Israeli treatment of Palestinians.

A devout Muslim, Hadayet had “told people close to him that he believed in violent jihad and also believed in targeting of innocent civilians,” Los Angeles FBI spokesman Matthew McLaughlin said Friday.

“It appears clear, with El Al being a government-owned Israeli airline, that he was launching an attack against that government,” McLaughlin added.

In the weeks before the shooting, which occurred on Hadayet’s 41st birthday, he had closed several bank accounts, bought guns and sent his family on vacation to Egypt.

However, the FBI concluded that Hadayet had acted alone.

“There was absolutely no indication that he had an affiliation with any terrorist organization or person,” McLaughlin said.

Moshe (Mike) Bachar, the brother of Aminov’s widow, Anat, said that he welcomed the FBI’s concluding report, but that it didn’t change anything for his sister and “won’t bring her husband back.”

Bachar added that Anat Aminov, mother of five children ranging in age from 2 to 10, found herself in difficult financial circumstances and he hoped that some government assistance would now be forthcoming.

Members of the Hen family could not be reached for comment.

Attorneys for the Aminov and Hen families have filed claims totaling $58 million against the City of Los Angeles, charging insufficient security at the airport, late police response and inadequate medical care. — Tom Tugend, Contributing Editor

Time Out for a Peaceful Meal

Egyptians and Jews breaking matzah together — who would have thought?

About 80 people, mostly from the Los Angeles Muslim community, attended a special Passover event, “Breaking the Silence: a Passover Celebration Seeking Peace and Reconciliation,” at Kol Tikvah in Woodland Hills on April 11.

Hosts Rabbi Steven Jacobs of Kol Tikvah and Dr. Najir Khaja of the Islamic Center of Southern California said they hoped the evening would help change the Jewish and Muslim communities’ troubled relationship, which has been exacerbated in the last few years by the second intifada in Israel and the fallout from the Sept. 11 tragedies.

Guests at the celebration read from a haggadah created by Jacobs and Khaja especially for the occasion, sampled charoset and maror, sang traditional Pesach songs like “Dayenu” accompanied by Kol Tikvah’s Cantor Caren Glasser, then shared a standard seder meal of brisket and kugel.

Attorney Rohida Kahn, a director of a Los Angeles women’s shelter, was just one of the many Muslim women in traditional-looking dress (beautifully woven dresses and shawls) who attended the event. Like most of the guests, she acknowledged this was her first visit to a synagogue. She said she felt compelled to come, especially in light of the recent war in Iraq.

“The more we do [events like] this, the more peace there will be in the world,” Kahn said. But she also commented that “unless the problems of Israel and the Palestinian people are solved, it will be difficult to have this type of relationship between Muslims and Jews.”

Barbara Caveleri, a longtime member of Kol Tikvah, said she was surprised to find that she and the seder guests at her table had so much in common.

“We talked a lot about the food. They don’t eat pork, they don’t eat shellfish and their foods are prepared in a kosher way, the same as in Judaism,” she said.

The haggadah’s theme centered less on Pharoah and Egypt and more upon the story of Abraham, Isaac and Ishmael. There were also many prayers and pleas for unity.

“Tonight we ask for the release of cynicism, of prejudice and of all these thing that have kept us divided,” Khaja said before leading the crowd in a responsive reading. He prayed for a more universal Islam “instead of the narrow view that has been taught to the masses…. The world is asking for justice, the world is asking for peace, and we are being asked to boldly look to our traditions for answers.”

Dr. Maher Hathout, an Egyptian-born cardiologist and spokesman for the Islamic Center of Southern California, lightened some tension in the room when he joked that even Egyptians aren’t crazy about Pharoah.

About one-quarter of the tables remained empty, and several synagogue members mentioned they decided to come at the last minute. Still, Jacobs did not seem troubled by the low turnout of Jewish families. He said he hoped the event would be the first of many such ceremonies shared by local Muslims and Jews.

“Los Angeles may be vast, but it acts as a community,” he said. — Wendy J. Madnick, Contributing Writer

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Conejo Valley Hit by Growing Pains

Rabbi Gary Johnson is overjoyed. There’s no other way to describe it.

His bliss over the new home for his congregation, Temple Beth Haverim, is so obvious that he practically dances around the building as he takes a visitor on a tour of the site. Not surprising for a man who for the past 15 years has been forced to lead services in a tiny, rented space in an Agoura industrial park.

"Up until now, we were in an industrial park, sort of tucked away and invisible," Johnson said. "It’s a maturation of our community to realize we’re landowners. It’s been a major undertaking."

Temple Beth Haverim made the official move to its new home at the end of February. The property is nestled against Ladyface Mountain in Agoura Hills and has space for multiple buildings, plus an open area that Johnson hopes to use for the temple’s Shabbat Under the Stars program this summer.

Although the main sanctuary has not been built yet, the small sanctuary will be adequate for the present time to serve the congregation’s 440 families. According to Johnson, the synagogue must raise an additional $6 million to build the main sanctuary, for an estimated total of $12 million when the facility is completed.

The temple’s preschool and religious school buildings are finished. The preschool, which opened in September, is full and has a waiting list for most classes.

Temple Beth Haverim is just one example of the growth of the Jewish community in the Conejo Valley. Over the past two decades, the area has experienced a migration of Jewish families heading west, similar to what occurred in the San Fernando Valley in the 1950s. It’s been a more difficult birth, however, in part because of an entrenched group of no-growth proponents, and in part because the Conejo’s Jewish population remained a quiet minority for a long time.

Another example of growth in the community is the Conejo Jewish Day School. Operated under the auspices of Chabad of the Conejo, the school opened in September 2000 and has since increased its student population from 38 to 64. It will add a fifth-grade class in the fall.

According to day school principal Rabbi Menachem Weiss, the school draws families not only from the Conejo and Simi Valley areas but also from as far away as North Hollywood and Sherman Oaks. The individual attention afforded to students in the small school is one factor in its attraction. Weiss said the rural environment also has its appeal.

The school currently operates on rustic property owned by Gateway Church, which is used in the summer by a popular local day camp.

"It’s very kid friendly," Weiss said. "When kids come to school, it should look like a school, not an office building."

The relatively unscathed landscape of the Conejo Valley is part of the area’s allure. Its slightly more affordable homes also make it attractive to families. The Conejo stretches from the western edge of Calabasas to Thousand Oaks and includes the communities of Agoura Hills, Westlake Village and Newbury Park.

With the exception of Calabasas, these bedroom communities have never been seen as particularly Jewish neighborhoods. However, local leaders point to the many examples of flourishing Jewish institutions in the area as strong evidence of the Conejo Valley’s transformation into a major Jewish center.

The Conejo includes two Conservative synagogues. Besides Beth Haverim, there is Temple Etz Chaim in Thousand Oaks. There are also two Reform congregations: Temple Adat Elohim in Thousand Oaks and Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas.

In addition, there is a large Chabad network, with a main site in Agoura and several satellite sites in surrounding areas, plus a Jewish Federation office. Also, there is an Agoura Hills Jewish Community Center, which primarily serves as a preschool, as well as an active bikur cholim group that visits patients at Los Robles Medical Center in Thousand Oaks.

"It’s a very cohesive Jewish community," said Rabbi Alan Greenbaum of Adat Elohim. "There are many events co-sponsored by most, if not all, of the congregations, such as Chanukah events and speakers series"

"There’s a lot of harmony," he continued. "The clergy meet together, we speak well of each other and it comes from a sincere place. We’re just very pleased and proud of the quality of the Jewish community here."

Growing a new community is not always smooth. Among the problems the Jewish community of the Conejo has experienced are a lack of affordable space in some areas and the controversy surrounding Heschel West Day School.

Seeking to expand, the school purchased 70 acres near Agoura High School five years ago but has not been able to overcome resistance from neighbors and begin building. The school opponents — both Jewish and non-Jewish, referred to in the local papers as coming from Old Agoura — believe that the project would negatively impact the already narrow traffic corridor running near the high school, making it dangerous in case of an earthquake or other emergency.

Johnson said the heated debate over the controversy has been discouraging for his congregation, which includes people on opposite sides of the issue.

"The Old Agoura Jewish residents say to me, ‘Rabbi, we want Heschel West in our community, but that is the wrong area, because of access and egress,’" he said. "They say, ‘God forbid there is a fire, and we have to get the kids out of Heschel West and residents out of Old Agoura, there’s only one two-lane road, one lane in each direction. This isn’t anti-Semitism, it’s a traffic issue.’"

"And then I have my Heschel West families, who say they will address those safety issues," Johnson continued. "It’s very passionate on both sides."

Founders of the Conejo Jewish Day school are watching Heschel West’s fight as an indicator of what they can expect when they, too, seek a new location.

"What happens with them [Heschel] will affect us," said Leora Langberg, the day school’s president. "If public opinion is for keeping day schools out, it’s really going to hurt us."

Although demographic evidence of the area becoming "more Jewish" is difficult to compile — most synagogues have experienced a significant increase in members, but there could be reasons other than more Jews moving to the area — anecdotal evidence indicates that growth has been steady and will continue.

Yuval and Ronit Golan are betting on a steady increase. The couple, who own Sam’s Bakery & Doughnut in North Hollywood, will open a second store in Westlake Village later this month. The shop joins an Agoura Hills kosher butcher-grocer, pizza parlor and kosher restaurant catering to the observant Jewish community in the area.

"There’s no kosher bakery out in that area, and we want to expand our business," Ronit Golan said. "We’re looking forward to serving everyone in the Conejo Valley."

Overall, it does not appear that much can prevent the transformation of the Conejo into a center of Jewish life comparable to the San Fernando Valley.

"The challenge of the community is to keep up with the needs," said Greenbaum of Adat Elohim. "As [Temple Beth Haverim and Chabad] complete their building process, that will mark a critical turning point for the Jewish community here, because we will all have finished our minimal building campaigns and will have to look beyond our individual synagogues toward, say, building a Jewish Community Center. That will be an exciting time for the Jewish community."

Conejo Valley Hit by Growing Pains Read More »

StandWithUs Hosts Second Conference

When 14-year-olds Kobi Mandel and Yosef Ishran were found brutally stoned to death by Palestinian terrorists on May 9, 2001, Jews around the world mourned. For L.A. residents Roz and Jerry Rothstein, the tragedy was the last straw.

The husband and wife team gathered nearly 50 Jewish leaders from across the religious and political spectrum together in their living room on May 21, 2001, to discuss the mobilization of the Los Angeles Jewish community in support of Israel. The meeting marked the birth of the grass-roots pro-Israel organization StandWithUs.

“It’s not just about how this intifada affects Israel,” Roz Rothstein said. “It’s about how the intifada has affected Jews around the world.”

On May 4, StandWithUs will host “Can You Defend Israel?” a repeat of the popular Israel advocacy conference held last January at Temple Beth Am, which drew 325 participants from around the country (organizers were forced to turn away more than 100 people). The second conference, also to be held at Temple Beth Am, is expected to attract an equally sizable crowd.

“This is a how-to conference. This is not a briefing conference,” said Roz Rothstein, executive director of StandWithUs. “It’s how to write, how to deal with the media when you’re not happy, how to advocate. It’s the most sophisticated, most up-to-date information available.”

StandWithUs has become one of the most active pro-Israel groups in Los Angeles today. Its efforts include educating on all levels — monitoring media, helping to expose militant Islamic groups and leadership, improving public relations with Israel and promoting Christian-Jewish alliances. The conference is one step in the organization’s effort to give Los Angeles Jews a professional voice.

Sponsored by 13 additional Jewish organizations and six synagogues, the mission of the May 4 conference is to train people to be ambassadors for Israel.

Rothstein said that even though people might know the information, it is the ability to express that information that they are often lacking. “The other conferences are more informational. They give briefings,” Rothstein said.

Workshops at the conference will include practical tips on lobbying for Israel and dealing with the media, techniques in public speaking and history briefings.

“Our intention is to offer a full plate of politically oriented speakers. But we have an agenda to teach people to advocate for Israel — the most effectively and most efficiently,” Rothstein said. “We don’t want people to spin their wheels. We want people to be very sharp.”

Featured speakers will include radio talk show host Dennis Prager; Elliott Brandt, Western States director of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee; public speaking expert Richard Greene; Dr. Roberta Seid, director of research and education for StandWithUs; Wayne Firestone, director of the Israel on Campus Coalition of Hillel: The Foundation For Jewish Campus Life, and professor and international affairs expert Jonathan Adelman.

The conference will also cater to college students, a segment of the population that has seen some of the fiercest of anti-Israel sentiment. Although it has been quieter on campus recently, Rothstein said that being prepared and proactive is as important now as ever.

“It’s a hidden agenda of the Muslim student associations across the country — the ‘free Palestine’ agenda and making Israel into the famed bad guy,” Rothstein said. “It’s still there … it’s just waiting right now.”

One of the main issues that will be addressed at the StandWithUs conference is incitement.

“Incitement was a word used in Oslo but it was an empty term,” Rothstein said. “Incitement from the cleric speeches must be monitored on the radio, TV programs need to teach peace, textbooks need to be revamped, the teachers need to teach peace, the posters of suicide bombers and making bombers into heroes needs to end.”

Rothstein said that a peaceful resolution is dependent upon incitement being broken down as an accountable issue in the road map language.

“We’re going to spell out incitement as an issue and hope that everyone will be able to lobby on this issue,” she said.

StandWithUs Advocacy Conference II will take place on
Sunday, May 4, 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. at Temple Beth Am, 1039 S. La Cienega Blvd.
Register by phone at (310) 836-6145 or online at StandWithUs Hosts Second Conference Read More »

Non-Orthodox Form Conversion Court

When Sandra Caplan, a Jew-by-choice, was dying, her husband promised her that he would work toward a unified conversion process for the Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist movements.

George Caplan, a veteran community leader, kept his word and the Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din of Southern California, believed to be the first of its kind anywhere, will be formally established in June.

Composed of Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis, the Bet Din, a court applying the rules of Jewish law, will officiate at conversions accepted by the three streams of Judaism.

With intermarriage running at about 50 percent and the Jewish population level in the United States on hold or declining, encouraging non-Jewish spouses to convert and form full Jewish families is among the most important challenges facing the Jewish community, Caplan believes. Caplan, a former Jewish Federation president, views the new Bet Din as a substantial move in the right direction.

To Rabbi Richard N. Levy, the unified Bet Din "is a wonderful step forward for California and klal Yisroel and broadens opportunities for those who wish to become Jews."

It was Levy, a national Reform leader and director of the School of Rabbinic Studies on the Los Angeles campus of the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR), who took the initiative in laying a religious foundation for the new Bet Din five years ago.

His Conservative dialogue partner and fellow initiator was Conservative Rabbi Elliot N. Dorff, rector of the University of Judaism (UJ) and distinguished professor of philosophy.

Dorff and Levy soon expanded their circle to include two dozen other rabbis, including Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben of the Reconstructionist Kehillat Israel and current president of the Board of Rabbis of Southern California.

The discussions and negotiations carried on for some four years were amicable, but there were differences.

"The Reform rabbis were afraid that the conversions would be too halachic [conforming to traditional Jewish law], and the Conservatives were afraid that the Reform would not respect their ritual standards," recalled Rabbi Jerrold Goldstein of the (Reform) Union of American Hebrew Congregations (UAHC).

A main sticking point was whether converts would have to undergo circumcision (real or symbolic, depending on whether the male candidate was previously circumcised) and immersion in a mikvah (ritual bath). These requirements are mandatory in the Conservative movement, but left to the individual discretion of the more autonomous Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis.

It was finally agreed to hew to the stricter Conservative standards for the unified Bet Din.

At this point, about two years ago, Dorff temporarily moved to New York and Levy had to focus on his new HUC-JIR position, so the project became more or less dormant.

There was also the matter of finances. All agreed that the potential ger (convert) should not pay for the conversion process, which Goldstein termed a community responsibility, akin to naturalization for U.S. citizenship.

The three dayanim (judges) sitting on the rabbinical court are also not paid for their services, but still, the Bet Din has set a budget of $30,000 for the first year of operations.

About a year ago, following his wife’s death, Caplan stepped into the picture, offered financial support, and got the process started again.

Establishment of the Bet Din will be formally announced on Shavuot (June 6), the holiday linked to the story of Ruth, the Moabite woman, who threw in her lot with her mother-in-law Naomi and became a Jew.

Actual operations will start July 1, according to Conservative Rabbi Daniel R. Shevitz of Mishkon Tephilo, who has been named by the governing board as av (chair) of the Bet Din. He will draw from a "bullpen" of about 20 rabbis from the three denominations for service on the court.

Reform Rabbi Stephen J. Einstein of Congregation B’nai Tzedek in Fountain Valley will serve as sgan (vice chair).

While Jews-by-choice are playing increasingly prominent roles in synagogues and Jewish organizations, local figures for the actual number of converts are hard to come by.

Across the United States, the most recent available statistics from the 1990 National Jewish Population Survey list 185,000 converts, or 3 percent of American Jewry.

For Los Angeles and adjoining counties, the best authority is Penelope Oppenheimer, who is in charge of the mikvah at the UJ, the only one in Southern California under non-Orthodox auspices.

During the past year, she supervised the ritual immersion of some 600 converts, 450 of whom about came through the Conservative movement, and the remainder through the Reform and Reconstructionist streams.

The number of additional Reform and Reconstructionist converts, who chose not to use the mikvah, could not be ascertained. The uncertainly is likely to remain in the future, as Jews-by-choice can choose to convert, as in the past, through one of the three denominations, rather than at the unified Bet Din.

Increasingly noticeable among Oppenheimer’s clients are small children from China, Vietnam and Romania, who are brought in for conversion by the Jewish parents who have adopted them.

The topic of conversion has more or less come out of the closet only during the last three decades.

"When I was in rabbinical school more than 40 years ago, we were taught nothing about conversion," Goldstein recalled. "It was a secret, almost like abortion."

By contrast, Goldstein nowadays receives fancy printed invitation to attend a conversion service or mikvah immersion.

Although the founders of the Bet Din say they would welcome the participation of Orthodox rabbis, the chances of this happening are almost nil.

"The basic issue," said Rabbi Meyer May, president of the (Orthodox) Rabbinical Council of California, "is that a potential convert must accept the mitzvot [commandments] and Torah as being divine and must accept the written and oral law as the absolute truth."

In the absence of such a complete commitment by non-Orthodox rabbis and converts, "we would not accept a conversion as valid," he said.

Furthermore, the Talmud is quite negative about conversions, observed May.

"We are told that if you get an inferior convert, he dilutes Judaism, but if you get a superior convert, he’ll show up those Jews who are not committed," May said.

The only known attempt in the United States to form a beit din including all streams of Judaism, including Orthodox, occurred in Denver some 20 years ago, but the project fell apart in a short time.

Currently, the first step for almost all potential converts in Southern California is to enroll in an intensive Introduction to Judaism course, taught by Rabbi Neal R. Weinberg at the UJ, and one coordinated by Goldstein at the UAHC.

Weinberg’s course consists of 18 sessions, each three-and-a-half hours long, and attracts some 600 students a year. Of them, about 200 are planning to convert, while the others are mainly Jews and gentiles interested in learning more about Judaism, including, he recalled, some Protestant ministers.

Many would-be converts bring along their Jewish partners, and in the process the latter "become more Jewish," Weinberg said.

One such person was Caplan, who attended the classes while his wife was preparing for her conversion.

"It was a wonderful experience," he said. "You explore in-depth what kind of a person you are and it brought us much closer together."

Non-Orthodox Form Conversion Court Read More »

Failing Minds Fall Prey to Holocaust

"Why did you come? Go, go before it’s too late," Laja Szydlowski warned her daughter, Hanna. She then whispered, "They’re killing people here. You don’t understand."

This encounter did not take place in 1940, with Szydlowski holed up in a cramped apartment in the Lodz ghetto in Poland. This happened less than a year ago, in a cheerfully furnished room at the Los Angeles Jewish Home for the Aging (JHA). However, in Szydlowski’s mind, she was back in Lodz. This time the ravages of Alzheimer’s disease, rather than the Nazis, imprisoned her.

"What happens," explained Dr. Marla Martin, a clinical psychologist who has worked intensively at JHA for more than 10 years, "is that the sense of time is impacted by dementia, and the person again becomes the young man or woman struggling against all odds to survive."

Szydlowski, 93, has been reliving the Holocaust for the past six or seven years, according to her daughter, Hanna Golan. However, her Alzheimer’s disease has now progressed to where she can no longer verbally communicate. "She is constantly crying," Golan said.

Szydlowski is one of an estimated 11,000-12,000 Holocaust survivors living in Los Angeles County, whose average age is 81. With nearly half of all elderly people 85 or older affected to some degree by Alzheimer’s or other dementias, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, the number of those Holocaust survivors, who are reliving in their minds the roundups, selections, starvation, brutality and the killing of family members, often in their presence, is significant.

Even without dementia, many survivors have nightmares, fear abandonment, act secretively and read anti-Semitism into innocent interactions. They react adversely to such seemingly normal activities as standing in lines or dealing with uniformed personnel. Some even avoid the oil well on the Beverly Hills High School campus, now painted with flowers, because it is a reminder of the smokestack at Auschwitz.

Helen Zisner, 82, who is in early stages of dementia and living at the Vista del Sol Care Center in Culver City, is not catapulted back into the Holocaust but reacts to certain stimuli.

"You can’t approach her from behind," her son, Benjamin, said. "She’ll ask, ‘Who are you here for?’ because she’s reminded of guards entering her concentration camp barracks."

But for survivors with more pronounced dementia, the Holocaust experience exacerbates the paranoia and suspiciousness, and, Martin said, "Those people are much more likely to experience flashbacks."

JHA, with a population of 800 residents, houses only 41 Holocaust survivors in its residential and skilled-nursing facilities, according to Laurie Manners, administrator of the Grancell Village campus. The number is small but, with over two-thirds of them suffering from some degree of dementia, the behaviors stand out.

"We have people who hoard food, who stockpile it in their rooms," Manners said. "And we have one resident who is convinced that noxious fumes are coming in through his air conditioning vent. ‘It’s poison gas. I’m suffocating,’ he tells us."

Holocaust survivors, who felt so deprived, often cannot adjust to living with a roommate, whom they may believe is plotting against them or stealing their possessions. Some are very distrustful.

Haya Berci, JHA’s executive director of nursing, said, "If something goes wrong, some survivors are afraid to say anything, for fear of retaliation."

They also have issues surrounding money, such as one resident who believed a rabbi had stolen her $50,000. Many want to sleep with their cash. These behaviors happen more readily in an institutional setting, where survivors feel less in control, according to Martin.

"They can react to showering or to undergoing a medical procedure," she said. "They think the hospital is performing experiments on them and their family has been murdered."

Also, she said, many lose the ability to speak and understand English and are frightened by people talking in what they perceive as a foreign language.

Most survivors, however, according to Paula Fern, director of Jewish Family Service’s (JFS) Pico-Robertson Storefront and the Holocaust Survivors Program, like most elderly, generally live in their own homes, alone or with paid caregivers or with relatives.

JFS works with about 650 survivors in their 60s and older, about 10 percent of whom suffer from some type of dementia. Caseworkers in four storefront facilities make home visits, assisting the survivors and their families. Additionally, JFS provides adult day care for Alzheimer’s clients in three locations, as well as respite time for families.

Still, JFS has seen its share of survivors with Alzheimer’s or dementia who, according to Fern, "are caught in the moment of the Holocaust and relive all that terror, anguish, anxiety and peril."

Fern tells of a past client, a physically fit man in his 70s, who, donning a suit, tie and hat, and putting his financial papers and money into a leather briefcase, disappeared. He stayed with various friends, a few days at a time, and only occasionally resurfaced.

"It took a long time to figure out he had been a courier in the Paris underground and was re-experiencing those days," Fern explained. Because he had no family, JFS arranged for a private conservator.

"This phenomenon is not a new revelation," Fern said. JFS has had survivor clients since 1945 and began a program specifically for aging clients in 1997.

Currently JFS has an extensive program for survivors and their families funded by the Conference for Jewish Material Claims Against Germany and the Morgan Aging With Dignity Fund, as well as private donations. Additional training on Alzheimer’s and other aging issues is provided by the Alzheimer’s Association and JFS staff.

"Training, training, training," stressed Berci of JHA, which provides training to new employees, along with ongoing education for all staff members, on Jewish culture and issues, including the Holocaust. Recently, JHA received a grant from Wells Fargo Bank to set up a comprehensive program specifically to assist Holocaust survivors, including those with dementia, and their families.

Interestingly, while the Holocaust population in general is decreasing, this subset is actually increasing as survivors, like the general population, are living longer, and thus are more likely to become demented.

"The cruel irony," geriatric psychiatrist Daniel Plotkin said, "is that dementia doesn’t protect these people. Their long-term memory remains intact."

Plotkin stressed the importance of a trusting relationship, whether it’s with the spouse or a hired caregiver.

For Szydlowski, that trusted person is her husband, Michael, 94, who also lives at JHA and comes to his wife’s room every day before she rises.

"He is afraid to have her wake up and have him not there, because that would be terrible for her," Golan explained. "He doesn’t sleep because he’s afraid of oversleeping."

He stays with her in the Alzheimer’s day room, taking time off only to eat and, at his daughter’s urging, to play bingo a couple times a week.

"I’m not sure she recognizes my father or me, but she feels safe with us," she said. "With everyone else, even nurses who have cared for her for years, she struggles."

For some, artistic pursuits help tame the Holocaust demons. Sam Gal, 81, entered JHA in 1998 and took up painting for the first time. He spent every day in the art room, creating a prolific portfolio of paintings, which gradually became lighter, in both content and appearance. About two years ago, as dementia set in, he was forced to stop.

Medication can sometimes help control the agitation and paranoia, though it can’t prevent flashbacks. People can also often be distracted, with a song or a walk. For those with severe dementia, just holding their hand or talking to them in their language of origin can comfort them.

"Our philosophy is to know each person," Manners said. "What were his hobbies? What did he do for a living? Often, we can calm someone by doing something familiar."

Some known triggers can be eliminated, even in institutional settings. In JHA, patients can be given baths rather than showers. The overhead paging system is rarely used. Bank statements have been simplified, to make them more understandable, and residents have a locking drawer in their room, to securely store their possessions.

Facilities can also be made as homelike as possible. JHA’s Goldenberg-Ziman Special Care Center, which opened a year ago on the Eisenberg campus with 96 beds for residents with dementia, offers lots of sunlight, with floor-to-ceiling windows, carpeted rooms and a soft décor. Some residents simply become less agitated as they become familiar with their surroundings and staff and relax into a routine.

"However," Fern said, "most children are extremely reluctant to place their survivor parents in facilities. It’s a tough sell even to get them into adult day care."

Miriam, who declined to give her last name and whose mother, 78, suffers from Alzheimer’s, arranges care for her parents in their own home. That is also their wish.

"They’ve gone through so much in life," she said. "I don’t want anything at the end of their lives to resemble the hardships they went through at the beginning."

Golan’s parents, on the other hand, independently made the decision to move into the JHA in 1995. She visits them several times a week, though she’s not certain her mother realizes she’s there.

"She’s fighting for her life," Golan said, explaining that her mother’s first husband was beaten to death in front of her, just before her 2-year-old daughter was taken away. She subsequently spent time in Auschwitz, Treblinka and Mauthausen.

"Once was enough," Golan said. "Once was too much."



Remembrance Rites to Mark Holocaust

Two Holocaust remembrance events will be held on April 29 and May 4 at the Los Angeles Holocaust Monument in Pan Pacific Park.

The April 29 observance, starting at 11 a.m., will bring together approximately 1,600 students from 25 public, Jewish and Catholic schools for a memorial program conducted by students and for readings by Holocaust survivors. Each participating school will receive four books for its library.

One of the books is "Abiding Hope, Bearing Witness to the Holocaust," by Benjamin A. Samuelson. The author, who uses a pen name, was forced to work as a member of the sonderkommando, which operated the crematoria. He later was wounded fighting in Israel’s War of Independence. The books are being donated by the Greta Savage Memorial Foundation.

The other three books are "Witness to the Truth," by survivor and philanthropist Nathan Shapell; "The Children of Willesden Lane," by Mona Golabek; and "In the Shadow of the Past, Lest We Forget," the stories of 12 survivors.

Both events are being underwritten by Jona Goldrich, chairman of the Los Angeles Holocaust Monument, and co-sponsored by the Los Angeles Museum of the Holocaust, The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles and Second Generation.

The Holocaust Monument is located at the north end of Pan Pacific Park, between Beverly Boulevard and Third Street, adjacent to The Grove and Farmers Market.

The May 4 observance will be held at 1:45 p.m. Free transportation will be available from Westwood and the San Fernando Valley by preregistration. For information, phone (310) 280-5010 or (310) 821-9919. — Tom Tugend, Contributing Editor

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