What Does Freedom Mean to My Mother?

I was on a Zoom shiur with my Rebbe, the brilliant David Sacks, who posed the classic Passover question: “What does freedom mean to you?” David is a highly regarded TV & film comedy writer who started this shiur with fellow comedy writer Jeff Astrof and is now joined by other writers such as Jay Kogen and myself. 

A few years ago my mother, Lynn Gold, who has a voracious appetite for Torah learning, wanted in on this shiur. “But Mom, you’re not a comedian or a comedy writer.” To which she replied, “But my son is! And that’s close enough!” Who can say no to their Jewish mother? So I asked and she’s been a regular participant and often great contributor to our learning. 

When David posed his question, we all went around and gave our answers. My answer wasn’t anything too insightful, rather more of what you’d expect: “The freedom to not worry. Like about finances, health and all the other things we are consumed with. Life without worry is freedom.” No one was impressed. 

Then it was my mother’s turn and her response was so meaningful, I asked her to write it down because more people need to hear it. It’s a reminder of how much is taken for granted in today’s modern world. This was her answer:

I was brought up in the ‘50s, an era when women were confined to societal roles of wife and mother. This was commonly enforced by the “man of the house” with his expectations of a dutiful wife, regardless of her ambitions outside the home. “Allowing” a woman to pursue a career suggested he was unable to support her and be the sole provider. It was almost a shanda for a woman to work! 

Even though I had suitors who were perhaps richer, taller, more athletic and more scholarly than the man I ultimately chose to marry, I knew he was different than the others from the moment I met him. I had an inkling that he would not just “allow,” but foster my ambitions and determination to pursue a career. I was right.

“My freedom was the ability to follow my passions and goals for self-fulfillment and self-actualization as an educator and perpetual student. To teach and to learn, while fulfilling my obligations as wife and mother. Throughout our almost 60-year marriage, my husband Sid had and still has the utmost respect and support for my endeavors.” – Lynn Gold 

My freedom was the ability to follow my passions and goals for self-fulfillment and self-actualization as an educator and perpetual student. To teach and to learn, while fulfilling my obligations as wife and mother. Throughout our almost 60-year marriage, my husband Sid had and still has the utmost respect and support for my endeavors. He equally encouraged our sons to nurture their talents so they, too, would achieve their optimal potential, resulting in their unconventional, yet successful careers in music and comedy. He gave to them what he granted me: The freedom to be their best selves.

Elon Gold is a comedian and actor.