Sick as a Dog

Recently our 4-year-old Yorkie, Leo, got very ill. We thought we might even lose him.

For more than four days Leo vomited. Like Gandhi, Leo stopped eating. We were not so worried about the food part, what worried us was when Leo stopped drinking. I finally understand sick as a dog. Soaking wet he normally weighs four pounds, so if he lost even one pound, that would be 25% of his total weight. Even Jenny Craig or Ozempic can’t boast those results. For almost five days Leo lay his head on his pillow, facing the wall. Like my wife when she’s mad. The opposite of his usual modus operandi — staring at us in perpetuity. 

On the second day, we texted our caring veterinarian, Dr. Jeff Werber, who said, “Bring him in.” On arrival, we handed him to Dr. Jeff. “Leave him; I’ll call you later.”  Five hours later Jeff texted to come get him. He said, “I gave him fluids to hydrate him. His belly is soft, and it doesn’t seem like he is in any pain. But clearly, something is wrong. We gave him something for the vomiting but if he continues, we need to run blood tests and X-rays.” When dogs get sick, with or without insurance, it can get very costly. 

On day three Leo was still not taking food or water and continued to retch. Back we went to Dr. Jeff for blood tests and X-rays. Our last Yorkie, Glendi, in her final days we had spent almost 7,000 dollars on, to no avail. I asked the vet, “How will we know when their time has come?” He said, “You’ll know.” He was right; one day it became clear. A moment sooner would have been too soon. It’s a big question how much money is enough to spend before giving up? When you have a sick pet, the brain loves guilting you out. “He’s a member of the family. He loves you. Is money more important?” Saving a pet can become a form of gambling. I’ll go $2,000 more and that’s it. He perked up? I’ll go another $1,000. On and on and on. We love our pets and would do almost anything for them. Almost is the keyword. I hate to say it, but pets can be replaced. You may not think so, but they can. Leo is dog number seven.  Torah tells us to feed our pets before we feed ourselves. The Torah tells us not to get an animal if we can’t afford to care for it. Part of caring for a pet is not allowing them to suffer.

About two hours before Shabbat, I walked by Leo on his pillow and noticed he was looking at me instead of the wall. That gave me hope. 

So, my wife and I took it day by day. Early morning on day four, I texted Jeff, “Still no energy and no food or drink, still throwing up, but less.” “Bring him in.” Dropped him off at 9 a.m.; at 3 p.m. we got a text, “Come get him.” Jeff said, “The good news is his blood tests are fine and the X-rays seemed normal. I even did an ultrasound. If there is still no improvement, the next step might be surgery to see if something is blocking him. Get some baby food and put a little on the roof of his mouth. See if he eats it.” About two hours before Shabbat, I walked by Leo on his pillow and noticed he was looking at me instead of the wall. That gave me hope. My wife then put a drop of baby food on her finger and schmeared it on the roof of his mouth. He licked his chops and swallowed. When we gave him more, he lapped it right up. By morning he was slowly walking around the house. And by afternoon he was his old self, wanting to kill the mailman. He is now 110% back to normal. We all agree he ate something that almost killed him. My wife and I were prepared to spend some real dough if we had to. Every dog we had to put down was a heartbreaker but ultimately, I always felt we did the right thing. When it’s the right time you’ll know it. And thank God it wasn’t the right time to say goodbye to Leo.

Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and hosts, along with Danny Lobell, the ‘We Think It’s Funny’ podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”