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The Lad is Sad and Dad’s Going Mad

[additional-authors]
August 16, 2015

So, who’s heard of torticollis here? I certaintly hadn’t till last week, when my third son Avi (age 6) developed a stiff neck. A really stiff neck- probably caused by his habit of going to sleep directly under the ‘mazgan’ air conditioning unit). Complaining of neck pains, my son spent a week in bed with his head tiled to the left, refusing to twist or move it at all. In sharp contrast to his usual happy-go-lucky energetic self, he was lethargic and tearful and not at all interested in eating.

After seeing a few clinic doctors, he was sent to the emergency room for an x-ray and more professional treatment. At 3:00PM last Wednesday, I took Avi (6), Yair (3) and Noam (1 ¾) to the hospital, sure that we’d be in and out within a few hours. When 10PM came and left, with Baruch and David running, squealing and jumping all over the emergency ward, a few of the nurses asked me indignantly, “Don’t you have anyone who can come and help you??”

Somewhat embarrassed and defensive, I retorted that my parents live extremely far away and are not available to come help me at the drop of a hat! Distance is relative, I think- Israeli and American standards of “near and far” are vastly different. My parents live very very far away from us- by Israeli standards. We live in Elad (central Israel) and my parents live in Jerusalem, which are -gasp- a whole hour’s drive away from each other! (I still recall my utter and complete shock when visiting friends in Lakewood a few years ago. It’s common practice there to drive to weddings 9 hours away, eat and dance, and return by car the same night! An hour’s drive in America is not much to fret about…) Back to our story- I immediately called my husband (at 10:30PM) to ask him to come pick up the little ones so I could sleep overnight at the hospital with _____. He was beyond exhausted and thought that the world was coming to end- how would he survive the night with a toddler and a 3-year-old who are super-attached to their Ima???

Some of my friends’ husbands have professions that allow for home offices, while my friends work 9-6 jobs. I eye them with envy as they guiltily confide in me that their hubbies are in charge of picking up the kids from school, giving them supper, bathing and bedtime. Diaper changing is obviously included in their husbands’ job descriptions as well!

Not so by me- my husband works long hard hours in far-off Bnei Brak (a 20-minute drive away!). I’m a stay-at-home mom- I work from home in the mornings designing Israeli-themed t-shirts for his thriving e-store, www.ajudaica.com (which I’m proud to say stocks over 10,000 judaica items!) My husband is just not cut out for the whole babysitting thing, especially not diaper changing!

While trying to get in some sleep on the uncomfortable hospital fold-out bed I was given, a few mysterious iMessage photos were sent to me in the middle of the night of the little ones screaming and crying, searching the house for Ima… Oy, a Jewish mother’s guilt! The morning dawned bright and sunny, and with it the hope of returning home asap! A few heartfelt chapters of Tehillim (Psalms) were recited by my son, while he beseeched G-d to grant the other children in the ward a speedy recovery and to grant him a clean bill of health that very day. Dr. Cohen, the ‘Professor’ (as expert doctors are called here in Israel) examined my son at around 11 AM, and declared that he would like him to remain in the hospital at least another day, get in more rest, and undergo another x-ray the following afternoon.

I, however, with my motherly intuition, could see that my son’s neck condition had dramatically improved and he had actually returned to his fun and playful self. I requested a second opinion from one of the other doctors and my son was granted permission to return home that day. Yay! Upon returning home, I found food and toys strewn all over the floor. But where were Abba and the little ones? There, on the changing table lay little Noam, with Abba wearing latex gloves and his gas mask, trying to change Noam’s diaper for the first time in 24 hours! Little Yair was still wearing the same diaper I had left him in the day before… (I must point out that my husband is an exception to the rule. 99% of fathers here in Israel are adept at the art of diaper changing!)

So what did I learn from my son’s little illness?

1- Live close to your parents and/or in-laws

2- While still dating, ask your potential fiancé what he feels about diaper changing

3- Don’t sleep directly under the mazgan

4- Don’t take good health for granted- thank G-d every day for the many blessings he gives us!

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