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Children of Israel, in more ways than one

The week before Passover, Colel Chabad, the charitable arm of the Chabad movement, brought more than 100 Israeli bar mitzvah boys from all over Israel to the Western Wall.
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May 14, 2015

The week before Passover, Colel Chabad, the charitable arm of the Chabad movement, brought more than 100 Israeli bar mitzvah boys from all over Israel to the Western Wall.

The 13-year-olds, each accompanied by up to 10 friends and relatives, were treated to a day of spirituality and fun that began with a rousing welcome at the Western Wall Plaza and ended with a communal catered banquet to celebrate their milestone.  

The elaborate annual event — held separately for boys and girls on different dates — brings joy to children who have lost one or both of their parents.   

“For young boys approaching their bar mitzvah, the planning and preparation for the coming-of-age ceremony can be very emotionally challenging for both the child and the single parent,” said Rabbi Menachem Traxler, director of Colel Chabad’s volunteer programs. “Traditionally it’s the father who accompanies the boy up to the Torah, and his absence is really felt.”

Traxler also cited the financial challenges faced by single parents who are celebrating a simcha.   

“Often,” he said, “it’s impossible for single-parent households to come up with the money to pay for even the most modest Kiddush or party, and to purchase new clothes for the family, to purchase a pair of tefillin and a tallit.”  

Ultimately, Traxler said, “The idea is that every kid should have the opportunity to experience a bar mitzvah like other kids, despite their tragic loss.”  

Most of the bar and bat mitzvah children were referred to Colel Chabad by municipal social workers, and the organization provides year-round educational and financial assistance through its Widows and Orphans program. Colel Chabad is one of the many Israeli organizations and institutions that sponsor communal b’nai mitzvah ceremonies for some of Israel’s most vulnerable children.

Some, like Boys Town Jerusalem, a school for 900 students from mostly disadvantaged homes, sponsor an annual ceremony and party for its bar mitzvah-aged students.  

“We do it in the dining room and invite guest speakers,” said Shoshana Kory, a public relations associate for Boys Town. “It’s a special and meaningful event for the boys and their families.” 

Prior to the ceremony, Kory said, the students spend part of the year learning about the rights and responsibilities of bar mitzvah-aged boys. 

“A lot of our children come from difficult backgrounds and often they’re not receiving this information at home,” Kory said. “Some come from abused homes and many are in the social welfare system.” 

Like Colel Chabad, Boys Town relies on donations to provide its simcha services. Some of the money comes from b’nai mitzvah kids abroad, who ask friends and family to donate to the school in lieu of gifts at their simchas.


Moti Azoulai (second from right), one of the bar mitzvah boys, lost both of his parents several years ago. His siblings and aunts joined him at a party organized by Colel Chabad.

“Some donate money to buy tefillin. Some come to Israel and celebrate their actual bar mitzvah with our boys,” Kory said. “They feel more connected to Boys Town and to Israel. I feel certain we’ll see them again when they become adults.” 

Several of the school’s donors have made multiyear commitments to fund the cost of tefillin for one or two students, an expense most of the boys’ parents cannot afford ($350 to $1,000 in Israel). 

Nishmat, a women’s educational center in Jerusalem, runs a 12-session bat mitzvah program for Ethiopian-Israeli girls. Most of the participants attend secular schools. The program is primarily run by Nishmat’s adult Ethiopian students, “all graduates of National Service or the IDF [Israel Defense Forces] who are role models for the younger girls,” said Julie Weisman, the organization’s director of public relations. 

At the conclusion of the course, the girls and their families are taken to the Western Wall and then to a catered party co-sponsored by Nishmat, the Ohel Nechama Synagogue (an Orthodox synagogue in Jerusalem) and the Western Wall Heritage Foundation (the governmental entity that oversees all matters concerning the Western Wall). 

Colel Chabad’s pre-Passover bar mitzvah event this year included transportation to and from each boy’s home, a family photo shoot at the Western Wall, and a gala dinner with music and entertainment. Each boy received a gift bag containing a pair of tefillin, a tallit and a necktie.

 When the boys arrived at the Western Wall Plaza they were greeted by Colel Chabad volunteers, some playing musical instruments. Holding tallitot over the boys like a wedding canopy, the volunteers ushered small groups to the wall and to tables bearing Torahs. Each boy received an aliyah as his family looked on.  

The event was bittersweet for Moti Azoulai, one of the orphans. He was 7 years old when his father died in a car accident. Three months later, his mother, who had been battling cancer, died as well.  

“I haven’t been to the Kotel in many years, so I’m feeling a little emotional,” said Moti, whose family traveled four hours for the event. 

Moti’s aunt, Alise Boutboul, who raised Moti and his older sister after their parents died, agreed that the day was “very emotional because Moti’s parents aren’t here to enjoy this milestone.” 

Lali Raiz, the mother of 13-year-old Erel Raiz and his three siblings, traveled to the event from the settlement of Elkana. Six years ago, her husband suffered a fatal heart attack in the army just shy of his 35th birthday. 

“This is wonderful,” Raiz said as she gazed at Erel. “It’s a hug from Chabad, which supports orphaned children in so many ways, all year round.”

Erel said the Chabad celebration coincided with another event he wanted to attend, “but I chose to come here because this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I’ll remember this day the rest of my life.”

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