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“It was when I found myself perched on our rooftop at dawn in my pajamas, coating the asphalt shingles with Mongolian Hot Oil, that I first wondered whether I had lost perspective.
The woodpeckers had forced my hand. Every morning that June, one of the creatures had landed on the roof just outside my bedroom window and begun to hammer away: Rat-a-tatta-tat-tat. One morning, as I lay there in the dim light of dawn, I thought: You’re going down, Woody.
Before this I had turned to a helpful ornithologist friend for counsel. He had assured me that the woodpecker was simply trying to establish its territory, and that once mating season was over, the racket would cease.
But days passed, and mating season continued.
That was where the House of Tsang Mongolian Fire Oil came in. My theory was that once Woody got a beakful of burning hot oil, he’d have occasion to reconsider some of his recent choices.”
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