November 18, 2019

Missing the Good Ol' Pregnant Days

“My infant catches my eye from her stroller and breaks into a beaming smile, turning my heart to mush. She lets out a delighted squeal, and I feel like all is right with the world. But then I see a pregnant woman nearby and a pang of nostalgia creeps up. My hand reflexively gravitates toward my belly, seeking out my long-gone bump. See, I love my daughter, but I have a confession: I miss being pregnant.

The feeling was most intense in the bleary-eyed early days of mothering my newborn. There were times when I whined to my husband, “I liked her more when she was in my womb.” Even things like walking into my obstetrician’s office, where I went often during those nine months, would make me feel weepy. Adjusting to motherhood was hard, and I missed her kicks.

Being pregnant also allowed me to feel beautiful in a way I never experienced before — and haven’t felt since. My body positivity was at an all-time high. I may have been at my heaviest, but I proudly put my growing body on display. You wouldn’t have caught me dead in a body-con dress before I was pregnant, but as long as I had that bump, no dress was too tight. Once the misery of the first trimester wore off, I was convinced I had the fabled pregnancy glow and reveled in it.”

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