June 18, 2019

Toilet Paper for Millennials

“Despite the fact that the oldest millennials are now approaching 40, it seems as if companies have only just begun learning how to market to them. From using models to casually co-opt protest imagery appealing to the socially conscious Youth to the chronic mis- and overuse of the slang term of the day (which is mostly a watering down of black vernacular, but that’s another story), the relationship between millennials and marketing has largely been one of misunderstanding on one side and mockery on the other. Enter: the Charmin Forever Roll. While the product technically launched back in April, it was brought to wider attention by a Wall Street Journal article examining the ways companies are adapting to the fact that more Americans are living alone than ever before.

Designed with those Americans in mind, the Forever Roll is a giant roll of toilet paper that purports to last up to one month. While that’s technically not forever, it is much longer than the average roll of toilet paper makes it and, most importantly, doesn’t require one to use up precious storage space on a 24-pack. The Forever Roll comes in a pack of three and even has its own starter kit, which includes a free-standing, brushed–stainless steel roll holder designed for its large size.

As the Cut’s Gabriella Paiella wrote, “As far as silly millennial-targeted marketing goes, this is pretty spot on—we live alone in small rentals because we can’t afford to buy real estate, we’re constantly working so we have limited time to run errands, and we LOVE using the bathroom.” Having three months of toilet paper on deck would solve a multitude of millennial ills, from errand paralysis to the phenomena of “outsourcing adulthood.” No need to Postmates toilet paper with the Forever Roll!”

Read more

JJ Editor's Daily Picks

"At 12:42 a.m. on the quiet, moonlit night of March 8, 2014, a Boeing 777-200ER operated by Malaysia Airlines took off from Kuala Lumpur and turned toward Beijing, climbing to its assigned cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. The designator for..."

"“I hereby sentence you to death.” The words of Judge Clifford B. Shepard filled the courtroom in Jacksonville, Fla., on Oct. 27, 1976. Shepard was sentencing Clifford Williams Jr., whom a jury had just found guilty of entering a woman’s house..."

"The video footage of Jewish Israelis dancing with Palestinians at a wedding should be something to celebrate. It should be an expression of joy and joint faith in the future. Instead, it has brought danger and disgrace to Radi Nasser, the mayor..."

"In 2013, I was executive editor of the NY Daily News, and we, like every other publication in the country, were covering the series finale of Breaking Bad. As one of the most popular and critically acclaimed shows in history, the finale was..."

"Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., tells us that wealth inequality is at grotesque and immoral levels. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., has a plan to tax everyone lots and lots to solve this. The slight problem is that the Federal Reserve tells us that..."

"For much of World War I, Sir Phillip Gibbs was one of the few journalists the British War Office permitted to correspond from the Western Front. Gibbs’s mission was to describe, in terms that would be acceptable to government censors, the..."

"In the 1940s, sexologist Alfred Kinsey, who was on the verge of publishing his first major report on male sexuality in the US, enlisted a photographer named Thomas Painter to investigate gay subcultures. Painter, a white, openly gay man, had..."

"What was Postmodernism? In the 35 years since Fredric Jameson’s New Left Review essay “Postmodernism, or the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism” — and the 40 years since the publication of Jean-François Lyotard’s The Postmodern Condition..."

"My husband and I are proud fathers of a 5-year-old girl and 1-year-old boy. I was grocery shopping with them last week when I saw a sign that made me cringe. Attached to a basket of free fruit, the sign reminded kids to “Ask Mom” before taking a..."

"Family farms are central to our nation’s identity. Most Americans, even those who have never been on a farm, have strong feelings about the idea of family farms — so much that they’re the one thing that all U.S. politicians agree on. Each..."

"The Big Bang is the defining narrative of modern cosmology: a bold declaration that our universe had a beginning and has a finite age, just like the humans who live within it. That finite age, in turn, is defined by the evidence that universe is..."

"After a protracted siege by the Roman tenth legion, the situation of the Sacarii, the Jewish rebels holed up on the mountain fortress of Masada, became hopeless. The Jewish rebels led by Elazar Ben Yair decided to kill themselves rather than be..."