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March 16, 2017

Matt Urmy

Nashville singer/songwriter Matt Urmy was in town singing some songs from his new album “Out of the Ashes” to be released March 31, 2017. I saw him and his friend (also named Matt) perform a set at the Hotel Café Second Stage yesterday in Hollywood. He opened with reading one of his poems, then a drinking song. Right up my alley!

He said he can’t sing but actually Matt has a fine, expressive, raspy voice reminiscent of Bob Dylan or Tom Waits. More pleasant to listen to though. His lyrics are outstanding — very poetic and well crafted.

Matt is a charming and magnetic performer, and we wish him much luck with the new album. I met him briefly after his set and he could not have been kinder or more friendly. For more information about Matt Urmy, visit matturmy.com.

For more information about Hotel Café Second Stage or their other Main Stage, visit hotelcafe.com. This is a small, intimate café in Hollywood that features high quality singer/songwriters before they become more widely known. I have always seen great musicians there. They maintain an impressive, very high level of talent; yet have a relaxed, informal vibe. It’s a very comfortable, fun place to spend an evening.

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Poem: How Are You Feeling?

In the course of an ordinary day
plain as a pine board, feelings
flash through me like birds
crossing the window and gone.
Hope stirs and quiets. Anger
flashes lightning from a clear
sky. Sad is a fish wandering
through, body shimmying.
Lust sticks up its furry head.
Regret sighs and turns round
and round before it lies down.
Love comes in warm waves.
Emotions enter, leave me as if
they came from their own cave
where they live while I’m too
busy to pay attention.


Marge Piercy has published 19 books of poetry, the latest being “Made in Detroit” from Knopf. She has published 17 novels, a memoir and four nonfiction books, including “Pesach for the Rest of Us.”

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What Amy Krouse Rosenthal taught me

I first connected with Amy Krouse Rosenthal when I sent her an email in the late summer of 2009 to tell her how much I had enjoyed one of her books.

You may have heard Amy’s name lately. She was the Chicago writer whose essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” became a sensation after it appeared in The New York Times in early March. Nearing the end of her journey with ovarian cancer, she composed what amounted to a dating profile for the man to whom she had been happily married for 26 years.

By the time Amy died on Monday at 51, millions of people had read the column, which, like all of Amy’s writing, celebrated the world’s small delights (taster spoons, pancake breakfasts) and the preciousness of love and life.

On Amy’s website, she called herself “a person who likes to make things.” By any measure, she made a lot of things. She wrote 28 children’s books — whimsical, creative, clever — and two idiosyncratic and inventive memoirs. She created uplifting, homemade videos (in one, she had bystanders cheer for commuters exiting a train at day’s end as if they were marathoners), delivered TED talks and loved visiting kids at schools.

All of her work inspired two reactions: (a) it made you start noticing little things and moments and  appreciating them in new ways, and (b) it made you want to be friends with Amy.

Both of those explain why I felt compelled to email Amy to tell her how, while reading a library copy of her memoir “Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life,” I had noticed a smudge at the bottom of a page. Looking more closely, I saw that a previous borrower, after accidentally smearing mascara there, had penciled a note to future readers because she “thought it was in line with this book to write about it.”

Amy didn’t respond immediately, but a few days later, at a shivah, I ran into my friend Julie, who had relocated from Los Angeles to Chicago. Knowing that I was a writer, she immediately asked if I had heard of Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Had I heard of her? I had just written to her!

Julie told me she was helping Amy with a movie project, a sort of crowd-sourced create-a-thon called “The Beckoning of Lovely.”

When Amy finally replied to my email, she had learned through Julie that I had once been a writer at People magazine. In her note, Amy expressed — in the gentlest and least self-promoting manner possible — how wonderful it would be if People ran a story about her film project.

It was less a pitch than a prayer. “That’s my little note,” she wrote, “scribbled down in earnest, placed in a small metal tin, and buried in the ground that is cyberspace. Thanks for listening.”

I politely explained that I didn’t work at the magazine anymore, and since the movie was in its early stages, it probably wasn’t ripe for a People story just yet.

You’d think that would be the end of it, but it was just the beginning of a lengthy exchange of emails, one writer to another.

Amy asked what I’d been working on lately. I told her I had just sent out a proposal for my own memoir, about my son Ezra, who has autism. Amy kindly offered to introduce me to her literary agent. I told her that what I could really use was help with an idea Ezra himself had, for a children’s book.

She asked if I was comfortable sharing the idea. I did, and she wrote back almost immediately: “i love this idea. and i love the serendipity that just happened 10 minutes ago at lunch. i have to talk to you.”

I phoned, and Amy told me she had just come from a fruitless brainstorming session with Tom Lichtenheld, the illustrator who was her creative partner on many books. Ezra’s idea was just the kind of thing he was looking for. So she connected me with Tom.

That conversation led to a collaboration. Soon Tom was at work on a children’s picture book based on an animated video called “Alphabet House” that Ezra had created at age 12.

Two years later, my memoir about Ezra was published. And a month after that, Tom and Ezra’s book, “E-mergency!,” came out. Ezra was just 15.

On my book tour, I was about to start a reading at a suburban-Chicago bookstore when a petite woman with red hair approached me to introduce herself. It was Amy. I can still picture her, standing in the back through the whole event, a big, supportive smile on her face.

I learned later that Amy’s life was full of the kinds of coincidences I had experienced. Another mutual friend first met her when they struck up a conversation in a Miami bookstore. It turned out they were both Jewish writers who lived in the same neighborhood and belonged to the same synagogue a thousand miles away, in Chicago.

I’m not sure that these things happened to Amy more than to the average person. She was just more open to them. And more open in general: to people, to connection, to inspiration, to whimsy.

Still, it was difficult to fathom how a person could bring so many ideas to fruition. I often show my writing students a TEDx talk in which Amy explains how she utilized what she called the crevices of life, “those 20, 30, 40 minute interstices that dangle in the space between the real thing I just finished and the real thing I have to do next.”

Watching that lecture now, I am struck by one sentence Amy says: “It seems that tight parameters and small windows of time can yield the biggest results.”

They certainly did for her. In the last weeks of her life, facing, as she put it, “a deadline, in this case, a pressing one,” she penned the piece about her husband. Those 1,320 words generated far more attention than anything she had created in her five decades, making newscasts and headlines across the globe.

I couldn’t help but notice one small thing: an article under the headline, “A Wife’s Final Gift.” It appeared on page 53 of People magazine. If you scribble a note to the universe, your prayer might be answered. You just have to be open to it.

Tom Fields-Meyer, a Los Angeles writer, is author of “Following Ezra” and co-author of “Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism.” He teaches in the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program and assists individuals in writing memoirs.

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Obituaries: March 17-23, 2017

Janice Aarons died Feb. 16 at 76. Survived by sister Selma Sherman; brother Gerald Aarons. Mount Sinai

Sharon Black died Feb. 11 at 81. Survived by son Stephen (Danielle Green); daughter Linda (Mike) Roth. Mount Sinai

Shirley Canter died Feb. 9 at 93. Survived by daughters Lynn (Shimon) Grill, Jan (Ken) Stockton, Geri (Ralph) Laquaglia; son Richard (Jody); 6 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild. Hillside

Thelma B. Cohn died Feb. 13 at 92. Survived by sons Mike (Annette), Larry (Carol); 5 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

David Daar died Feb. 10 at age 85. Survived by wife Thelma; daughter Karen (Michael Scherago); sons Jeff (Ruth), Eric (Judy); 8 grandchildren; sister Rosalie Kornblau. Mount Sinai

Helene Diamond died Feb. 15 at 95. Survived by cousin Brad (Keiren) Fisher. Mount Sinai

Harriet Filler died Feb. 8 at 89. Survived by sons Matthew, Aaron (Lisa); 4 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild; sisters Mildred, Pauline. Hillside

Albert Garber died Feb. 11 at 96. Survived by wife Elysee; daughter Carol Grainer; son Leonard (Nancy); 6 grandchildren; 5 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Rhoda Gilbert died Feb. 14 at 91. Survived by daughter Susan (Peter) Goodwine; sons Bruce, Anthony; 3 grandchildren; sister Marilyn Simon. Mount Sinai

Lea Glitman-Alkalai died Feb. 14 at 59. Survived by husband Leon; sons Daniel Joseph, Jonathan Asher, Adam Haim; sister Ronic Glitman. Mount Sinai 

Harry Goodman died Feb. 15 at 98. Survived by wife Dorothy; daughter Sheila (David) Eldridge; 2 grandchildren; 3 great-grandchildren. Hillside

Rita Gross died Feb. 10 at 83. Survived by niece Lisa. Mount Sinai

Barry T. Harlan died Feb. 11 at 74. Survived by wife Judie; daughter Melissa (Andy) Lustbarten; sons Greg (Susan), Jeff (Melinda); 6 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Tamara Hayon died Feb. 12 at 85. Survived by daughters Mickey (Yossi) Aronian, Daphne (Joe) Amit; son David Simhoni; 4 grandchildren; sister Arnona; brother Jacob. 

Patricia Jaloza died Feb. 15 at 72. Survived by niece Margaret Radin. Hillside

Stanley Kay died Feb. 13 at 74. Survived by son Steven; 3 grandchildren; sister Linda; brothers Michael, Lenny. Hillside

Cecelia Lessem died Feb. 15 at 89. Survived by daughter Dorothy Fox-Nuccilli; son Cary Fox (Sally Mead); 3 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild; sisters Ella Mae Boardman, Sally Green. Hillside

Louise Levyn died Feb. 15 at 91. Survived by daughters Nancy (Jim) Chaconas, Kathy; 2 grandchildren; sister Evelyn Greenberg. Hillside

George Lewison died Feb. 13 at 100. Survived by daughter Mitzi; sons David, Terry (Diane). Hillside

Mike Maman died Feb. 15 at 76. Survived by wife Linda; sons Eric (Rishelle), Neil (Jennifer), Alan; 3 grandchildren; siblings Margalit, Zion, Emanuel, Mati, Bezalel, Rimon. Mount Sinai

Ermet Mathews died Feb. 17 at 91. Survived by daughters Jennifer Mathews (Abe) Friedman,  Janet; sons Larry (Brian); Jake (Heather); 3 grandchildren. Hillside

Percy Mestman died Feb. 16 at 95. Survived by wife Dorothy; daughters Sandi (John) Malmquist, Roz (Michael) Menitoff; son Ed (Elvine); 7 grandchildren; 5 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Eli L. Pinto died Jan. 31 at 81. Survived by daughters Allison, Suzanne (Cliff) Edens; son Adam; 1 grandchild; sisters Marcy Zezulinski, Sally Fleischman, Dixie Rascona; brother Raymond. Beth Israel

Sylvia Richter died Feb. 11 at 97. Survived by daughter Victoria (Mary Sweeney) Shemaria; son Joseph Shemaria; 3 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren. Hillside

Esther Rubin died Feb. 9 at 97. Survived by sons Ronald (Cecil), Richard; 2 grandchildren; sister Mildred Bard. Hillside

Ann Susan Shalov died Feb. 14 at 68. Survived by sons Eric (Stacey), David; sister Judy Schwarze. Mount Sinai 

Janet Shapiro died Feb. 13 at 97. Survived by daughter Maeve (Charles) Carter; son Stanley (Ellaine); 4 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild; sisters Lillian Pyes, Gloria (Norman) Miller. Mount Sinai

Florence Shetler died Feb. 11 at 84. Survived by sons Mark Buschhoff, David Weinberger; brother Seymour Lowe. Mount Sinai

Arnold Stiller died Feb. 8 at 87. Survived by wife Lynda Ross; daughter Beth Sheba; sons-in-law Edward Greenberg, Eduardo Kachscovsky; 4 grandchildren. Hillside

Shirley Mae Taubman died Feb. 12 at 82. Survived by daughters Lori, Susan; 1 grandchild; sister Maxine (Shelly) Gold; brother Fred (Nancy) Becker. Mount Sinai

Henry Wasserman died Feb. 16 at 104. Survived by daughter Marian Polinsky. Hillside

Rose Weissberger died Feb. 12 at 90. Survived by daughters Betty Wolf, Mae; son Jerry; 4 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai  n

Obituaries: March 17-23, 2017 Read More »

Trump the change agent looks positively traditional on Middle East peace

Trump administration rhetoric about Israeli-Palestinian peace is typical of a president who would make everything great: President Donald Trump is going to bring about a “historic” deal, the White House has said, one that would “reverberate positively throughout the region and the world.”

What isn’t typical, at least for a president who has shattered conventions in so many other sectors, is how typically Trump is going about reviving talks.

Jason Greenblatt, a real estate lawyer and trusted longtime adviser to Trump, is in the region drumming up interest in new talks, and he’s partying like it’s 1989.

Press Israel to limit settlement building? Check.

Emphasize economic capacity-building for the Palestinians? Check.

Talk about a grand deal involving the surrounding Arab-Sunni states? Check.

Except for the hyperbole, the statements emerging from Greenblatt’s “listening” tour of the region this week could have been lifted from boilerplate dating back to the administration of George H.W. Bush, the first president to get Israelis and Palestinians into the same room, and through his successors, including Bill Clinton, Bush’s son and Barack Obama.

“I have a lot of differences with this administration on a lot of issues, but on the issue of Israel and Palestinians, they have been probably more cautious and more responsible than on almost any other issue,” Daniel Shapiro, who was the Obama administration envoy to the region from 2011 until January, said in an interview.

“It’s striking to hear quite similar language in describing their approach, their goals, their understanding of the relationship between the issue of settlements and prospects for success in negotiations,” said Shapiro, who is now a senior visiting fellow at Israel’s Institute for National Security Studies.

Trump’s pro-Israel supporters hailed his election as an opportunity to reset the relationship between the two countries. Israel’s right crowed after his victory, with Education Minister Naftali Bennett saying it was a chance for Israel to “retract the notion of a Palestinian state.”

Settlements were a key bone of contention between the Obama administration and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s government, culminating in December when the U.S. allowed the U.N. Security Council to pass an anti-settlements resolution.

Nothing quite so contentious has emerged yet in the Trump-Netanyahu relationship, but it hasn’t disappeared, either. Trump straight out asked Netanyahu to hold off on settlement building for a while when they met at a White House summit last month, and Greenblatt raised the issue in his five-hour meeting on March 13 with Netanyahu.

“With respect to settlements, we see them as a challenge that needs to be addressed at some point,” Marc Toner, the State Department spokesman, said this week.

Other differences in tone and emphasis are emerging between the Trump and Netanyahu governments.

After Greenblatt met March 14 with Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, a U.S. readout of the meeting said they “reaffirmed the commitment of both the Palestinian Authority and the United States to advance a genuine and lasting peace between Israel and the Palestinians.”

Notably, Netanyahu — who has made no secret of his preference for Trump over Obama — has spent the three years since the collapse of the last round of talks saying Abbas appears anything but committed to advancing peace.

Jewish officials who favor the new administration’s Israel posture say they see a difference in how Trump and his team emphasize the need for Abbas to tamp down Palestinian incitement, particularly the payments handed out by the Palestinian Authority to families of imprisoned or killed terrorists.

“President Abbas committed to preventing inflammatory rhetoric and incitement,” the meeting readout said.

But the notion that Obama downplayed incitement was always something of a myth. Obama and his top officials repeatedly decried incitement, as recently as his farewell speech to the United Nations in September. Those calls, however, tended to receive less media coverage than his tensions with Netanyahu.

There are some differences in tone — most dramatically in how Trump has retreated from explicitly endorsing the two-state solution.

Danielle Pletka, the vice president of the American Enterprise Institute, said that should be seen less as a rejection of the two-state outcome than a means of returning the ball to the court of the Israelis and the Palestinians.

“All that Donald Trump said” to Netanyahu “was, ‘If you’re comfortable with it, I’m comfortable with it,’ ” Pletka said. “And Netanyahu is comfortable with it. What he didn’t say was, ‘Here’s a two-state solution; it will look like this.’ ”

The Obama administration grated on Israel by prescribing the outlines of the two states — although even that pressure had diminished after the last round of talks collapsed in 2014.

Pletka said one reason for the lack of surprises from Trump on the Middle East is his focus on other areas of security and foreign policy, where he is trying to bring about real and dramatic change, including limiting the intake of immigrants and refugees, pulling out of multilateral trade deals, recalibrating ties with China and raising the stakes in the fight with the Islamic State (ISIS).

“Those are issues he deeply cares about,” she said. Another factor was the administration’s slowness in filling second- and third-tier jobs in national security and foreign policy; the delay would inhibit the advancement of dramatic policy changes.

Shapiro said Trump and his team were learning that ideological postures taken during a campaign bang up against reality after the election.

Combating incitement, limiting settlement expansion, seeking a broader buy-in to peace by Israel’s Sunni-Arab neighbors and advancing two states “are structural U.S. interests; they are not ideological fixations of one administration or another, one that any administration interested in U.S. interests in the region will coalesce around,” Shapiro said.

Tamara Cofman Wittes, who directs the Brookings Institution’s Center for Middle East Policy, said Trump — who is meeting with an array of Arab leaders in coming weeks — is seeking Arab investment in his bid to crush ISIS.

“Every administration comes into office, they confront the array of American interests and partners in the Middle East, and it makes it hard for them to do what they want to do if Arab-Israeli conflict is at risk of becoming an Arab-Israeli conflagration,” said Wittes, who was a senior Middle East policy official in Obama’s first term.

“One of the things Arabs always ask a new administration is, ‘Please avoid doing things on the Arab-Israeli issue — and tell the Israelis not to do things that would create a crisis,’ ” she said. “That, which would be a normal thing for Arab governments to do, is magnified by the anti-ISIS imperative,” she said.

Jeff Ballabon, a Republican with deep ties in the Orthodox Jewish community who advocated for Trump, said the narrative of same-old, same-old was deceptive.

“I have tremendous faith in the president as a negotiating prodigy,” he said, referring to Trump’s decades as a real estate dealmaker. “They clearly have America’s and Israel’s best interests at heart. We finally have a team that’s realistic and isn’t beholden to any failed past policies.” 

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Abu Trump, an apt comparison

Of all the misleading metaphors the critics of President Donald Trump have used, the least apt, and most despicable, is Hitler.

It’s an easy go-to, partly because people don’t know much history, but they watch a lot of History Channel.

But this isn’t 1933 and Trump is no Hitler. He’s not anti-Semitic, he doesn’t have a coherent (if insane) political philosophy, he’s far more interested in Trump than any cause or country.

Still, like many Trump critics, I’ve been searching for months to figure out exactly what kind of threat our president poses. If not a circa 1930s fascist takeover or a Russian klepto-oligarchy, then what? And then, on the eve of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s visit last month, it occurred to me: Trump has all the characteristics that define Israel’s autocratic neighbors. He’s not Il Duce. He’s Abu Trump.

Let’s run down the Arab strongman checklist:

They Take (Fragile) Power: Most Arab dictators rise on some form of popular support. They take power as an extension of “the street” — the average man or woman tired of the ruling elites. Quickly they establish themselves as the savior who alone can protect and fix the country. 

But this support, even if it is fierce, is often thin, just as it was with Trump’ election. Why else would he spend so much time trying to convince us we couldn’t see the millions of people who stole votes from him, and the millions more who appeared at his inauguration?

They Feed a Massive Ego: The only thing more fragile than these potentates’ popular support is their ego. They buttress it with lavish spending — Trump decorated like a sheik even before he became one — collecting portraits of themselves, and indulging their sexual impulses (Billy Bush? Russian dossiers?). Their domestic policies inevitably reflect their desire for immortality: Don’t be surprised if Trump’s infrastructure spending results in several massive projects bearing the name Trump.

They Put Family First: Even a small circle of advisers can’t penetrate the Arab dictator’s ultimate inner circle: his family.  Iraq’s Saddam Hussein gave his sons carte blanche; Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak was dethroned as he tried to pass power to his son; Libya’s Moammar Gadhafi bequeathed his sons his kingdom — except they were killed 20 minutes after him. Keeping it all in the family is a way to maintain trust, loyalty — and wealth. This week, Jared Kushner’s family business received what analysts are calling a sweetheart $400 million investment deal from Chinese interests. Just saying.

They Peddle Fake News: From Palestine to Pakistan, Muslim strongmen feed their people a steady diet of BS. The Arab media are filled with anti-West conspiracy theories featuring a scapegoat on whom the leaders can blame their own incompetence. In much of the Arab world, that bogeyman has been Israel and “the Zionists.” In Trumpistan, it’s “The Left” and “The Mainstream Media.” What people read, watch and listen to is the single greatest determinant of who they vote for. Trump and his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, have nourished an alt-right media ecosystem that will be shoveling profitable BS long after they’re gone.

They Attack Judges. After the press, the Arab dictators go after the courts. The Egyptian court system has been eviscerated by a series of dictators. They could easily recognize themselves in the way Trump attacked the 9th Circuit Court judges who stayed his Muslim travel ban.

Once a ruler goes after the courts, noted Haaretz columnist Chemi Shalev,  “It’s not a slippery slope. It’s a free fall.”

They Want Only to Win. All rulers want to stay in power, but for the Arab dictators, power is an end in itself: Winning is everything. “He doesn’t believe in anything and is loyal to no one,” writer Amir Taheri said of Hafez al-Assad, the late Syrian dictator. “He could be your friend in the morning but betray you in the evening. He has only two goals in life: to survive and to make money.” Where have we heard that before? 

They Are Really Sore Losers. At some point, the people who lifted them to power turn on these strongmen. 

“You can control the people you choose,” Egypt’s late President Gamal Abdel Nasser said, “but you can’t control the people who choose you.”

At that point, things get dicey. Whatever great intentions these rulers began with are tossed aside in the fight for survival. The ruler then has to decide to leave his country and whatever civil institutions remain intact, or bring it all down around him. For Libya’s Gadhafi, the choice between his survival and his country’s was clear.

“Those who do not love me do not deserve to live,” he said, and a bloody civil war ensued.

Fortunately for Israel, Netanyahu has learned to deal with these strongmen and their egos, their posturing, their empty threats and fake niceties. 

How fitting, then, that this week Trump’s representative has been exploring the Middle East regional peace plan pushed by Arab dictators —  it’s a club to which Trump feels he belongs.

“I have never seen Arab dictators, their officials, media and their usual clowns so supportive of an American president,” wrote Aziz Abu Sarah, an Arab-Israeli commentator. “Egyptian media talks about how Trump is inspired by [Egyptian strongman] Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi. [Syrian President Bashar] Assad is considering Trump to be ally, and from Saudi [Arabia] to UAE public support statements are outpouring. This scares me more than anything else.”

Me, too.

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Why is this 62-year-old Irish rabbi running the LA marathon?

Rabbi Moshe Cohen of Pico-Robertson area synagogue Community Shul recently picked up running for his health. This weekend, the 62-year-old Irishman will run for a cause.

After nine months of training, Cohen will trade in his black hat and traditional orthodox attire for black shorts and run the March 19 Los Angeles Marathon to raise funds for his shul’s bar and bat mitzvah program.

“I never really ran anywhere. I guess I ran to the bathroom,” he said of life before his new hobby.

Cohen, who practiced law in Ireland before moving to Los Angeles 30 years ago to become a rabbi, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes early last year. After his doctor recommended more exercise, he started modestly, with a short run around Circle Park in Beverlywood.

“I thought I was going to die,” Cohen said, drawing chuckles from Community Shul President Saul Blinkoff and Vice President Justin Levi as they sat at The Milky Way, a Pico-Boulevard kosher eatery. “But you just keep going. You just keep doing it. The marathon will be exciting.”

In the final stages of his training for the 26.2-mile race, Cohen has been completing late night runs of 11 miles from his Pico-Robertson home to West Hollywood and back. Distance running, he said, provides a unique tranquility. He doesn’t wear headphones as many runners do. Wearing his yarmulke is enough.

“No music for me. I get this runner’s high that I don’t get in shul when I’m out there,” he said. “It’s peaceful and it gives me time to think.”

Blinkoff, who is encouraging Community Shul members to donate at least a dollar for every mile Cohen runs in the marathon, was mystified when the rabbi came to him with this fundraising idea.

“I thought he was kidding when he first told me,” Blinkoff said. “Seriously, I thought there was no way.”

For Blinkoff, an animator with credits on Disney films including “Pocahontas” and “Tarzan,” disbelief morphed into plans to distribute water cups along the marathon course with Levi and other shul members.

“It’s going to be awesome when he passes us,” Blinkoff said. “It’s amazing that he’s really going to do it. He’s running for the Jewish people, even people who aren’t in his synagogue.”

Blinkoff shot a video that shows Cohen training “Rocky”-style for his upcoming race and sent it out to the community to drum up support.

“Community Shul’s Bar and Bat Mitzvah Experience” program is open to members and unaffiliated Jews alike. Blinkoff said they’re raising funds to bolster marketing, add administrative staff and hire a rabbinical assistant to expand the program’s reach.

“I get this runner’s high that I don’t get in shul when I’m out there. It’s peaceful and it gives me time to think.”

— Rabbi Moshe Cohen

The free program, with a curriculum overseen by Cohen, includes six free once-a-week sessions led by volunteer Jewish community leaders from a variety of fields who will discuss such topics as what it means to be Jewish today, Jewish history and connecting to Israel. Community Shul also partners with the Los Angeles Museum of the Holocaust to offer one-hour sessions at the museum taught by museum educators.

Participants don’t have to read from the Torah or learn a haftarah portion but must give a speech reflecting on the program at their bar or bat mitzvah service. Families only have to pay for their own party, which they can throw at the synagogue. Community Shul membership isn’t required.

Levi, who teaches Jewish history to bar and bat mitzvahs, said the sessions are meant to be informal and accessible.

“We want to really focus on people who are not members and who don’t go to shul every day,” he said. “It’s not that kind of thing. It’s more about understanding our place in the world and in the community as Jews.”

As an example, Blinkoff brought up his sessions with bar and bat mitzvahs in which he talks about his own work-life balance, illustrating that practicing Judaism isn’t a one-size-fits-all proposition.

“I talk openly about how I balance my life as a Hollywood filmmaker,” he said. “I tell them that when Shabbat comes, I spend time with my family and that takes precedence. They talk to me and it shows them that you don’t have to be a rabbi to want to live a Jewish life. Finding your own way to live a Jewish life — that’s what we’re trying to help with.” 

So far, only a handful of kids have gone through the program, which began late last year. Cohen said he’d like to see the program grow, particularly among young Jews unaffiliated with a shul.

“We really want things to ramp up, hopefully with more awareness after the marathon and Pesach,” he said. “I’m realistic enough to know that these kids probably aren’t going to change their lives because of the program. But hopefully it will make an impression on them and they’ll look back at it and recall a good experience, a real connection.”

One recent bar mitzvah, Zachary Light, applauded Cohen for using the marathon to expand the program.

“It’s pretty impressive. I’m not going to lie,” he said. “It’s just awesome. I’ve got to give it to him.” n

Why is this 62-year-old Irish rabbi running the LA marathon? Read More »

Gary v. Shuli


On the March 15, 2017 Stern Show there was a knock-down drag-out fight between producer Gary Dell’abate and show writer Shuli Egar that made my morning 30-minute commute seem like a minute and a half.

In a sentence, Gary blew up at Shuli for constantly nagging him to get on air with Howard. Shuli countered that Gary stonewalled Shuli’s initiative and ideas at the expense of the show. Howard, their boss, sat back like an emperor at the Coliseum and let the two fight almost to the verbal death.

Right afterwards I called my friend and fellow Stern Show fan Drew Kugler. Drew is an executive and leadership coach who works with tech and entertainment companies, non profits and Fortune 500 companies to foster better leadership and communication.   Needless to say, he had a take. Below is our talk, which we did via email:

Rob Eshman:   I guess my first question when I hear a fight like that is, isn’t that all for the show? As raw and funny and real as it seems, I can’t help think they must have more professional ways of hashing out employee conflicts off air.

Drew Kugler:  They’re just like most workplaces, except they’ve figured out a way to make a show out of it.  The place has its dysfunctions and its fears and Howard is astute and savvy enough to have put it out to the world for entertainment. And they’ve have really deep grooves of habits, some created and practiced for 30 years that make them really good at being screwed up.  Just like a lot of their listeners.  Find me a place where people professionally hash out ways for real conflict resolution.  You’ll have a rare find indeed.

RE:  So, let’s assume it was real.  Gary’s central complaint was that Shuli comes to him too much.  Shell’s argument is that Gary’s job is to field pitches and pick the best.  Who’s right?

DK:  Both were right. And wrong. Right because neither of them left the argument with any discernable change to work on.  So they each “prevailed.”

If, though, they had an iota of interest to improve things for, as Gary said on the Wrap Up Show, “real life in the office,” both of them and Howard failed miserably.  And Gary provided the sick topper at the end of Wrap Up: “I just want to act like nothing happened.”  In working relationships especially, that’s the prescription for a slow and painful downward spiral.  It’s the epitome of wrong.

RE:  I want to take Gary’s side for a second.  He’s been the producer for 30 years.  The show is great, maybe better than ever. He must know what he’s doing, right?

DK: For the most part, he, like Howard, Fred, and Robin  is a master at the vocation he’s deeply experienced at: producer of the show. He is integrally responsible for its success.  Does he know what he’s doing as the leader of the office? That’s a tougher one, especially when he got pushed.  His response was to call Shuli a “fuc*%&g c@nt.”  Great entertainment, but don’t you wonder how much all of the dysfunction aka ball breaking has taken  a genuine toll on him, let alone the rest of them?

RE:  So what would you tell Gary?

DK:  There’s nothing that Gary (or for that matter, any of them) does or says that signals he wants any advice.  That’s the mistake so many people make;  giving advice where it’s not asked for.  For all the years they’ve been working on delivering the experience to us listeners and getting such great results, why does he need advice?  He and the others seem to have a pretty singular goal: to deliver great radio.  As Gary said on Wrap Up, for years Howard has worked to balance great fighting with what it does to the office. Listening as we do, we know which is more important to them.  I have no advice for good radio fighting.  They have invested deeply in edgy. Probably too deeply to get out of their own way.

RE:  What about Shuli?  He is talented, funny, but clearly he has an agenda beyond just “helping the show.”  What does he need to hear?

DK:  It’s pretty simple, especially after hearing him goad Gary to let him have it.  He has a thick enough skin developed maybe from stand up and parenting, that he is happy to take whatever Gary puts in front of him as long as he gets to the end of the rainbow in the studio where his hero affirms he’s funny. Like Gary, he feels it’s working.  Professionals who feel that are the last people you want tell that they need to do things differently.  The only question he asked with a shred of real curiosity was to Howard about, did he think he was funny. Howard said yes. At that point, Shuli was done.

RE: It seems to me Howard, as the boss of these two, could have stepped in a lot sooner.

DK: Of course he could of.  But he was (at least seemingly) letting it play for both great radio and a chance (as many people take on a regular basis,) to avoid constructively dealing with the conflict.  By all indications he has offered listeners over the years, he hates it.  Even his verdict at the end affirmed things the way they were before the fight.  His goal never seemed to be to step in at all.  He offered three options rather than a healthy resolution: JD as resolver, Wendy as judge, and the “handcuff for 24 hours” game.  Again, all great radio. All leaving Howard exactly where he wanted to be; quietly conducting the battle.

RE: So Howard doesn’t really want to make things better between them?

DK: It depends.  Does he care enough to create some different conversations that for once would show people how to turn things like simple respect into a more productive working environment?  I admit I have no way of telling for sure, but ball busting, screaming,  fear, and belittling  as acceptable, encouraged behavior at their work has to cost something to the people who engage in it. How can it not?

RE: Howard does have an innate sense of which employee fights make good radio.   But do you think it’s healthy for the organization to literally air them for all to hear?

DK: Maybe it’s like pro wrestling.  Everyone knows it’s mostly fake, but look at the damage it does to the wrestlers.  Worse, this might not be fake.

RE:  When you are listening to a situation like the shuli-gary fight that you have spent your career dealing with, do you scream at the radio?

DK: Nope. My career, like being a father and being married, has taught me that very few things are worth screaming about. This certainly is not one of them.  It has also taught me the incredible wisdom of Hyman Roth in Godfather 2.  As he explained to Michael as to why he doesn’t get upset even when his friend got murdered: “This is the business we’ve chosen.”  Howard and the rest reap the benefits and pay the costs for the business they’ve chosen.

 

 

Gary v. Shuli Read More »

Here’s how Trump can smoke out Abbas

Well, it was nice while it lasted. For a while, it looked as if President Donald Trump might try a craftier approach to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Instead of rewarding the Palestinians for saying no to everything, he would show them there’s a new sheriff in town. No more coddling, no more chasing, no more pleading for their presence. Trump looked like the very antidote to Secretary John Kerry, who logged more miles than an astronaut trying to coax the naysaying Palestinians to just show up and negotiate.

It was exciting to think that, finally, the leader of the free world would follow rule #1 of negotiating—don’t look overeager. A five-minute class on the 25-year failure of the Israeli-Palestinian peace process would have shown Trump that “overeager” was the one constant sentiment among an endless string of peace processors who banged their heads against the Palestinian Wall of No.

But instead of giving us a fresh approach, the artist of the deal has succumbed to the same old Palestinian trap. The latest processor to get sucked in is Trump’s Mideast envoy and longtime attorney, Jason Greenblatt.

Look at the body language– it’s Groundhog Day. You see Greenblatt in Ramallah smiling and schmoozing with Palestinian Authority (PA) President Mahmoud Abbas and you can’t help think: “Man, I’ve seen this movie before, like a hundred times.”

Is there any way out of this tedious and interminable trap? Is there anything Trump can do to disrupt this agonizing pattern of repetitive failure?

Yes, there is, and it’s so simple I hope he does it.

Trump can ask Mahmoud Abbas to make an offer. That’s right—make a serious peace offer.

In years past, Israel made some serious offers, but Palestinians rejected each one without making any counteroffers. In recent years, however, they have even refused to negotiate. This gives them lots of power, because everyone chases after them. Meanwhile, Abbas can spout a few words about peace, blame Israel for the lack of progress, make zero commitments or concessions and still collect billions in international aid while continuing to live in luxury.

It’s time to realize that the last thing Abbas wants is to make a deal with the Jewish state. And why should he? Abbas is no fool. He knows that the creation of a Palestinian state would save the Zionist project by ensuring Israel’s future as a Jewish and democratic state. Why would he want to save something he hates?

This contempt for Zionism goes long and deep. Just days before meeting Greenblatt, Abbas’s Fatah party and the PA were celebrating a Palestinian terrorist whose 1978 attack resulted in the deaths of 38 Israeli civilians, including 13 children, who were shot and burned to death in a bus hijacking. Glorifying terrorists and promoting Jew-hatred are the two cultural staples of Palestinian society.

Abbas also knows that as soon as the IDF leaves the West Bank, Hamas and ISIS are likely to swoop in and start chopping off Palestinian heads, including his own. His vaunted security cooperation with Israel is as much for his own benefit as for anyone else’s. Why would he want to end that protection?

As things stand for Abbas, the status quo has been like a Club Med with anti-Israel missiles. As long as he can claim victimhood because of the Israeli occupation, he can continue living the high life while feeding the BDS movement and bashing Israel in friendly international circles. Why would he end that?

Have you ever looked at a map of the West Bank? With or without settlements, it looks like a pimple. Can you imagine Abbas unveiling that map as part of the logo of a new Palestinian state? It’s no wonder the map of a future Palestine that permeates Palestinian society always shows the striking diamond-like shape of the whole land of Israel. That’s the only state they want—the Jewish one.

Add it all up, and it’s easier to understand why Palestinian leaders have been saying no for so long. When you look at things from the perspective of leaders whose revulsion for Zionism and chronic corruption are already well known, why should it surprise us that they would be guided by this hatred and their own selfish interests?

Their biggest nightmare would be if someone called their bluff and asked them to make a genuine peace offer. It would smoke them out. It would expose the simple reality that there is NO deal with Israel they could ever say yes to.

I know. This sucks. For those of us who still dream of peace, this is the last thing we want to hear. We need hope, and this kind of hard-nosed realism offers none. It forces us to think of unpleasant and risky alternatives.

Trump may think he’s offering us hope by talking about a “grand deal,” but all he’s offering is a clear view of his ego. For him, what this conflict represents is a chance to show off by doing the “impossible deal.” It never occurred to him to ponder why it’s impossible in the first place. His limitless ego has turned the artist of the deal into just another peace processor.

Trump can remedy all that by doing what any savvy Manhattan dealmaker would do—ask the other party to make an offer, to see how serious they are. Of course, he’ll never get one, because Palestinian leaders are only serious about destroying Zionism and protecting their Swiss bank accounts.

But at least the world will see the truth and his envoys will save a lot of mileage.

Here’s how Trump can smoke out Abbas Read More »