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Jewish Journal

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December 8, 2016

Do you want an Artsy Athletic Adventure in Aruba?

Leave a Comment / Travel /

I spent nearly a month in the Caribbean for my birthday this year. I started my adventure in Aruba at ” target=”_blank”>Do you want an Artsy Athletic Adventure in Aruba? When I worked on the cruise ships (for nearly seven years), one season I visited Aruba once a week. Even though I had been many times before, I really enjoyed my visit and found many new things to try out!

” target=”_blank”>ABC Tours Aruba. Thank you to all of my new friends who I met on this trip from travel writers, photographers to Charlene Leslie, Miss Aruba 2016!

 ” target=”_blank”>Vanessa Paulina's new mural and then had the chance to paint with her! What to do in Aruba? Go Stand Up Paddleboarding in Moomba beach! I loved it. There are beautiful beaches, flamingos and I even added my own cairn to the island–seven stones and seven wishes that are going to come true.

” rel=”nofollow” target=”_blank”>Aruba Tourism official site.

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Turned off by rabbis, Israelis are planning small weddings in Greece

Leave a Comment / Culture, Weddings /

Destination weddings abroad are almost unheard of in Israel, where weddings are all about family and community. And what better place to celebrate Jewish continuity than the Jewish homeland?

But this past summer, a new Israeli company challenged tradition by throwing wedding getaways on Greek islands. The one-woman startup, called Wedaway, is tapping a market of Israelis alienated by the Charedi Orthodox Chief Rabbinate, which controls Jewish marriage in the country.

“A lot of people who can’t or don’t want to get married through the Rabbinate find Wedaway online,” company founder and CEO Gal Zahavi said. “But what really attracts them is the idea of a small wedding like they see when they travel or on the internet. And Israelis love Greece.”

Zahavi, who began planning other people’s weddings this year from her home office in the central Israeli city of Kadima, came up with the idea for Wedaway from her own Greek wedding. She and her husband celebrated in a castle on the island of Evia. They wanted something more than the typical Israeli wedding, which often includes hundreds of guests gathered at a local event hall for a relatively standardized few hours of nuptials, dining and dancing.

Later they officially married through the Rabbinate, a decision she said they regret because so many Israelis are not afforded the same privilege.

There is no civil marriage for Jews or same-sex marriage in Israel, but the state does accept such marriages performed abroad. Cyprus, the Czech Republic and the United States are the most popular destinations. While Israelis cannot marry in Greece, as Athens requires documents that Jerusalem will not provide, it doesn’t mean they can’t party there.

Zahavi can thank the Rabbinate for most of her clients. Of the 12 couples celebrating their unions with Wedaway this summer, seven opted to marry outside Israel at least in part to protest the Orthodox authority. Four are not recognized by the Rabbinate as Jewish or have other issues with Israel’s religion-based marriage system. Just one is getting married in Israel and celebrating in Greece.

Neither the Rabbinate nor the Interior Ministry in Israel were immediately reachable for comment.

Wedaway weddings are the kind of carefully crafted events exalted on wedding blogs, reality shows and social media, with charming local musicians, colorful Greek feasts, high-end ouzo cocktails served under paper lanterns and pool parties complete with floatie toys. The ceremonies are usually contemporary takes on religious traditions, Jewish or Christian.

One downside — or upside, depending on how you look at it — is that couples planning a Wedaway wedding have to drastically pare the invitation list. An average Israeli wedding includes several hundred guests — everyone from the couple’s parents to their favorite barista. Zahavi’s clients usually bring 40 to 50 people with them. Even at an average cost of $300-$500 per head, it can actually be cheaper than being married in Israel.

Still, cutting guests can be difficult. Family and community are central to Israeli culture, and a wedding is the ultimate symbol of that, explained Larissa Remennick, a sociology professor at Bar-Ilan University in Israel.

“Jews have always been very familial, focused on getting married and having children. The biblical mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply is still very influential in this country. You could says it’s our raison d’être,” she said. “What this company is doing is kind of a subversive act in a way.”

Wedaway isn’t the first company to help Israelis marry abroad; an industry has been around since the 1990s. In 2014, some 8,782 couples registered foreign marriages in Israel, compared with 50,797 who married in the country, according to the government’s Central Bureau of Statistics. But the businesses tend to focus on cutting international red tape, not wedding planning.

Wedding Tours is the biggest marriage abroad company in Israel. CEO Igal Lukianovsky said the company, founded in 2001, arranged 1,200 marriages in Cyprus and the Czech Republic in 2015. Of those, he said, the company helped with no more than a couple dozen wedding celebrations.

“Maybe 80 percent of couples make a party here in Israel with family and friends,” he said. “They go to Cyprus just for the formal part, to sign documents.”

Wedaway, by contrast, is all about the celebration.

A growing number of Israelis are holding off on getting married, some indefinitely. The number of unmarried couples living together in Israel have risen 29 percent in recent years — to 88,000 in 2014 from 65,000 in 2012 — according to the Central Bureau of Statistics. Some attribute this trend to the Rabbinate as well.

In a September statement about the rise in unmarried couples, Hiddush, an organization that promotes religious freedom in Israel, wrote: “Israel’s official, state empowered religious establishment arouses disgust among Jewish Israeli couples considering marriage. This is due to the needless tribulations many couples experience at the hands of the Rabbinate on their paths to marriage, and due to their fear of being required to conduct their divorces via the State rabbinical courts.”

“The Rabbinate is good for my business,” Wedaway’s Zahavi concluded, “but I would prefer that people could get married here.”

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Bride Jamie Lee takes a comical look at planning nuptials in ‘Weddiculous’

Leave a Comment / Culture, Weddings /

When comedian Jamie Lee got engaged in December 2014, it meant the realization of a lifelong dream. No, not getting married — writing a book.

Lee had been talking about a writing project with her friend and fellow comedian Jacqueline Novak, passing ideas back and forth, but nothing ever resonated. “When I got engaged, I got a text from Jacqueline, and she said, ‘That’s the book,’ ” Lee said. “She suggested I do a funny book about getting married.”

From there, Lee — a cast member on MTV’s “Girl Code” and the host of “10 Things” on TruTV — started journaling every experience throughout the 16-month wedding planning process before tying the knot this past April. “I would write how I was feeling when something was happening in the moment,” she said. “When I went back to it for the book, there would be a truth to it.”  

The result of those experiences is the book “Weddiculous: An Unfiltered Guide to Being a Bride,” which goes on sale Dec. 27 and is available for pre-order now. In it, Lee, who lives in Los Angeles, talks about what happened leading up to her wedding and serves up advice, timelines and checklists for couples — all with a side of humor. 

In one chapter called “Tra-dish it out!” she discusses how her husband, comedian Dan Black, wanted to incorporate Jewish traditions into their ceremony. Though Lee’s mother in Jewish, she never practiced while growing up in Dallas.  

“Dan wanted us to wear yarmulkes at our wedding and sign a ketubah,” she writes. “I was, like, ‘What’s a ketubah? A Jewish tuba? Is someone going to play it?’ Point is, his traditions are more tradition-y than mine. Because mine are nonexistent.”

The two ended up signing a ketubah, hiring a rabbi to lead the ceremony and participating in the traditional Jewish wedding dance. “We did the hora,” she told the Journal. “It was terrifying.” 

In the book, Lee’s advice regarding tradition is that when in doubt, “just go for it. It adds interest even if it seems outdated or strange!”

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What’s in for weddings in 2017: A look at the trends coming down the aisle

Leave a Comment / Culture, Weddings /

Certain things never go out of style when it comes to weddings: the ring exchange, the Champagne toast, the first dance. But as in fashion, there are trends  that come and go.

We asked a dozen Los Angeles-based wedding planners and coordinators to look into their crystal balls and tell us what will be hot in 2017, from dress design to dessert. Here are some of their forecasts:

Dresses

Wedding gowns will be a little more streamlined. That said, bows are back in gowns with a big, beautiful bow right on the derriere. Plunging necklines and backs are in. And some brides are departing from traditional white gowns and opting for blush colors or blues. 

— Jackie Dumouchel Combs, Lotus & Lily

Invitations

For more upscale invitations, debossing stands out — for example, debossed roses on white or cream cardstock. The effect is akin to sculpted paper. Other au courant choices: printed or etched Lucite (typically square or rectangular panels of clear or frosted Lucite) and, in keeping with the vogue for all things metallic, mirrored silver or gold acrylic invitations. 

— Paula Gild Stern, Gilded Events

Wedding Party

Many weddings no longer include bridesmaids or groomsmen. When they do, strict rules no longer are enforced. Women are making their best guy friend their “bridesman.” Grooms are having their sister be their  “best woman.”

 — Lauryl Lane, Lauryl Lane Botanicals

Flowers 

Flower walls will continue to be in demand. Those are generally 8-by-10-foot hangings composed of hundreds of fresh blooms — though paper flowers are a modern alternative. They make a great backdrop for photos, especially for social media posts. Sometimes a sofa will be set in front of a flower wall so eight or 10 people can be in a shot with a beautiful background.   

— Jonathan Reeves, International Event Co.

People are going back to a woodsy feeling. Think wildflowers and moss, and birch-wrapped containers or natural wood or cork containers. Some couples are opting not to use cut flowers at all, preferring greener elements. Alternatives include succulents or fresh herbs (avoiding those with strong scents). The effect can still be romantic and interesting, especially if you add votive candles.

 — Randy Fuhrman, Randy Fuhrman Events

Décor

Some color schemes are moving darker. Think Dutch masters-inspired palettes like deep emerald and burgundy, or even black linens on tables. Also, mixed metals are happening right now — typically gold, but also silver, copper, rose gold and pewter for floral vessels, chargers, flatware, candle holders and place settings. This is best introduced in little touches. Otherwise, it can feel ostentatious. 

— Lauryl Lane

Gone are the days of a roomful of identical round tables. Instead, people are choosing a variety of table shapes, chairs and benches for a more interesting look.  Some couples are even using bar-height pub tables with stools. Those appeal to a younger generation and represent a move away from formality. 

— Sara Holland and Jenny Goodman, At Your Door Events

Personalization is in. A monogram of the bride and groom’s names in a beautiful font on the invitation will also be picked up throughout the party, on cocktail napkins and menus, for example, or an appliqué on the dance floor.  

— Jonathan Reeves

Food

People want to express their love for their guests through food, so they are seeking out caterers who can deliver delicious “farm-to-table” cuisine. Often they are having it served family-style, which brings together people and encourages conversation. Hotels and ballrooms tend not to do family-style, but people are seeking out alternative places to get married, such as private homes, bars, even old barns. Then you can easily break away from the plated dinner. 

— Ashley Bryan, Mein Schatz Events

Photography 

Drone video and photography will be in demand, especially for outdoor weddings, whether beachside, mountaintop or resort. Couples want to capture the drama of the setting. They want those swooping aerial shots incorporated into their wedding video. 

— Katherine Dimas, Promise Events

Clever hashtags are the rage to share photos on social media. Often, they are a play on the couple’s names with some other matrimonial word. The hashtag also can be printed on the wedding program and featured on custom signage, sometimes done by hand by a calligrapher.  

— Lauryl Lane 

Because couples want to spend more time with their guests, many are scheduling “first-look pictures” in advance of the ceremony. So instead of the couple seeing each other for the first time when walking down the aisle, they will do a session with the photographer before the guests arrive. 

— Sara Holland and Jenny Goodman

Theme

Different is in. People want to push boundaries and integrate their personalities and pasts into the celebration. One couple who loved musicals, for example, turned their vows into a musical number. Another couple very involved in their tango community is planning an Argentine tango-themed celebration. 

— Amy Greenberg, Amy Greenberg Events

Dessert

Dessert stations, in addition to the wedding cake, are more appealing than plated desserts. They can offer interactive treats like chocolate bark or peanut brittle broken with a hammer by a server in front of the guests. Persian tea stations with fresh and dried fruits, nuts and pastries are also big. 

— Serena Apfel, Let’s Party Events by Serena Apfel

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The 4 eras of John Glenn

Leave a Comment / Culture /

John Glenn, the pioneer astronaut and former U.S. senator from Ohio, is gone.

He was of our parents’ era. For those of us of a certain age, Glenn was the first recognizable American hero. He was the first American to orbit the earth, and his re-entry was hair-raising. He returned, modest, unassuming, the only astronaut lacking a university degree, but clearly possessed of the right stuff well before Tom Wolfe’s overwrought book ground that term into the dust. Some of my earliest memories are of my parents describing him as aspirational, someone I should look up to.

Glenn, who died Thursday at 95, was also of another era. In 1962, months after that orbit, he testified in Congress against women serving as astronauts. Imagine anyone getting away with this today:

“I think this gets back to the way our social order is organized, really. It is just a fact. The men go off and fight the wars and fly the airplanes and come back and help design and build and test them. The fact that women are not in this field is a fact of our social order,” he said.

His heroism shone brightly enough that his testimony helped keep American women out of space for another two decades.

He was also of no one’s era. His closest friend was Henri Landwirth, a Holocaust survivor, and according to New York magazine, when he first saw the tattoo on his arm – Landwirth was in the habit of covering it up, even in hot weather – Glenn said, “I’d wear that number like a medal with a spotlight on it.” One hero to another.

Glenn was also irascible, liable to go his own way, and that ultimately scuttled whatever hopes he had of a presidential run. More than a decade before Oslo, he said the Palestine Liberation Organization should be at the negotiating table. The Democratic senator worried – aloud and to Jewish friends – in the early 1980s that Israel was drifting too far right, toward expansionism. There was no way he was going to attract the pro-Israel money necessary in that era to mount a credible White House drive; he would serve 25 years in the Senate.

And he could embrace a new era he did not foresee. In 1986, well more than two decades after he said women should not travel into space, he eulogized his fellow Ohioan, the first Jewish-American woman in space, Judith Resnick, who died in the Challenger explosion:

“As we reflect on Judy’s life, and the Challenger’s last voyage, I hope we never forget the last words that came from that crew. Those words were: ‘Go with throttle up.’ Those words are fare more than a courageous epitaph. They are America’s history and they are America’s destiny. And they will turn tragedy into triumph once again,” he said.

John Glenn, go with throttle up.

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