fbpx

May 9, 2016

What’s it like staying at the Juniper Hotel Cupertino? @curiocollection

The ” target=”_blank”>Hilton's Curio Collection, is a beautiful boutique hotel in the heart of Silicon Valley. Some of the world's largest tech giants and start-ups reside here. Apart from its tech sector, the Santa Clara Valley offers a lovely Mediterranean-like climate, perfect for touring local vineyards or playing a round of golf.

The adventurous-minded guests at Cupertino will find everything at their fingertips: wineries, the convention center and stadiums. Those looking to relax and unwind will also feel right at home with an in-house pool, 24-hour room service and fitness center to take advantage of. Lisa's stay in May of this year revealed Cupertino's finest features: guests rooms equipped with HDTV, mini bars, sleek furnishing and a view of either the Santa Cruz mountains or cityscape.

In the evening, guests can enjoy a complimentary wine reception and tuck into a hand-prepared meal. Cupertino's restaurant, ” target=”_blank”>Juniper Hotel Cupertino, Curio Collection by Hilton March 2016

What’s it like staying at the Juniper Hotel Cupertino? @curiocollection Read More »

Where do Jewish conservatives stand on Trump?

Faced with Donald Trump as his party’s presumptive nominee in this year’s presidential election, Jamie Weinstein, senior editor for the conservative Daily Caller website, said he may have to “take a Tums” and vote for Hillary Clinton — assuming Clinton becomes the Democratic nominee and there’s no third-party conservative alternative.

“Given that you have to vote, and my options are only Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, that’s what I’m left to choose from,” Weinstein said in a recent interview. “And I think Donald Trump is a threat to the American system, whereas Clinton is a threat to our economic wellbeing for four years.”

Weinstein, like many Jewish thought-leaders in the conservative world, says he not only will not support the inevitable Republican nominee — he would prefer another four years of a Democrat in the White House if Trump is the only alternative. And this is not only because of the danger he believes Trump poses to America; he also sees Trump as a long-term threat to conservatism and fears the movement may not recover from a Trump presidency.

Among Jewish #NeverTrump-ers are some of the most prominent voices of conservatism: Bill Kristol, editor of The Weekly Standard; Jonah Goldberg, senior editor for the National Review (the magazine ran an entire anti-Trump issue in February); Boston Globe columnist Jeff Jacoby; Ben Shapiro, editor-in-chief of the Daily Wire; nationally syndicated talk-show host Mark Levin; Washington Post blogger Jennifer Rubin; Elliot Abrams, a former George W. Bush adviser and senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR); Max Boot, also a CFR fellow and a former John McCain adviser; John Podhoretz, editor of Commentary Magazine; Seth Mandel of the New York Post; Bethany Mandel, senior contributor at The Federalist; David Bernstein and Ilya Somin, both law professors at George Mason University and both also writers for the Washington Post’s “The Volokh Conspiracy” blog, run by UCLA law professor Eugene Volokh; Orin Kerr, a law professor at George Washington University and also a Volokh blogger; and Bret Stephens, the Wall Street Journal's foreign affairs columnist, who in his most recent column all but explicitly said conservatives should vote for a Clinton presidency buttressed by a Republican Congress.

Although all conservatives and Republicans in the #NeverTrump crowd say they will never cast a vote for the real-estate developer and reality TV star, they differ in what they will do. Some, like Shapiro, say they will vote on Nov. 8, but only for “down-ballot” races like the Senate and House. Others, like Weinstein, say they will vote for Clinton as the anti-Trump vote, absent a third-party conservative option.

“He is every horrifying stereotype of Republicans that those of us who are actually Republican have been fighting against for years,” Bethany Mandel said. “He’s already destroying all of that work, but he will likely do irreparable damage to the brand.”

Mandel, who lives in New Jersey, said she was particularly turned off by two of Trump’s antics. The first was when he told CNN’s Don Lemon in August that Fox News host Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her wherever,” in describing Kelly’s performance during a Republican debate in which she challenged Trump about past misogynist comments. The second was at a November rally when Trump mocked and imitated the disability of New York Times reporter Serge Kovaleski, who has a congenital joint disorder.

Shapiro had his own decisive #NeverTrump moment: “The point where I said, categorically, I will never vote for this human being was when he refused to denounce the KKK on national television two days before the Louisiana primary,” said Shapiro, who supported Senator Ted Cruz. “He panders to legitimately the worst elements in American life.”

Shapiro thinks conservatives who are now “falling in line” behind Trump are “cannibalizing [conservatism] to stop the danger of the moment.

“Once you come out and you vote in favor of a man who has opposed every single conservative principle, and pandered to literally the worst people in America, it’s kind of difficult to put that genie back in the bottle,” Shapiro said. “I think Hillary would be a disaster for the country, but I think if we are to have a long-term future, it can’t be one where there’s no conservative party, because the conservative party has been gutted by a charlatan with authoritarian tendencies.”

Among Jewish conservatives, the #NeverTrump group thus far seems to outnumber those who say they will vote Trump—even if only to block a Democratic win. Nevertheless, Trump supporters include some prominent people, such as billionaire Republican donor Sheldon Adelson, former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer, New York Congressman Lee Zeldin and nationally syndicated talk-show host and Jewish Journal columnist Dennis Prager. The Republican Jewish Coalition also came out in favor of the presumptive candidate, issuing a statement on May 4 congratulating Trump after Cruz and Ohio Gov. John Kasich suspended their campaigns, saying Clinton “is the worst possible choice for a commander in chief.”

Adelson, who had withheld endorsing until now, told the New York Times at a World Values Network gala May 5 that he will support Trump, and that he believes Trump “will be good for Israel.”  Fleischer, on May 3, tweeted, “There’s a lot about Donald Trump that I don’t like, but I’ll vote for Trump over Hillary any day.”

“It’s a choice between the known and the unknown, and I find myself in the category of hoping that the unknown doesn’t turn into someone as bad as the known,” Fleischer said in an interview, pointing to Trump’s respect for the private sector’s ability to create wealth. Even on economics, though, while Fleischer believes Trump has better instincts than Clinton, he said he “cringed” when he heard Trump say on CNN’s “New Day” on May 9, “You never have to default, because you print the money.” Trump said this in response to a question about his comments to CNBC on May 5, when he indicated that a debt renegotiation (in effect, a default) is always a possibility. “I would borrow, knowing that if the economy crashed, you could make a deal,” Trump said, later saying the New York Times mischaracterized him when the paper said he “might reduce the national debt by persuading creditors to accept something less than full payment.”

Fleischer said he “always knew” throughout the nomination process that he would support whichever Republican candidate emerged, but said Trump “almost lost me for good” when he accused President George W. Bush of lying about Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction in order justify the Iraq invasion in 2003.

“If this were a race between Donald Trump and Joe Lieberman, I would vote for Joe Lieberman,” Fleischer said. “But this is a race between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.”

Last January, Fleischer had said a Trump nomination would mean the Republican Party is no longer the conservative party. And he didn’t retract that notion, telling the Journal that Trump’s presumptive nomination may mean the party will be in the hands of its populist, not conservative, bloc.

“I don’t think you can rule that out,” Fleischer said.

Radio commentator and Jewish Journal columnist Dennis Prager has, since early in the nomination process, opposed Trump, but said he would vote for him if he became the nominee. “I said from the outset that if my darkest dreams were realized, and he became the Republican nominee, I would vote for him,” Prager wrote in an email. “The reason is that there is one thing that frightens me more than Donald Trump being elected president, and that is Hillary Clinton being elected president.”

He said Trump’s behavior and positions made him unsure “almost every day” whether he could maintain that position. Asked what Trump would have to do to lose his vote, Prager said, “He tries almost every day.”

Among the many distinctions Prager sees between a Trump presidency and a Clinton presidency: the Supreme Court, natural gas extraction (known as “fracking,” which Clinton has come out hard against during her campaign against Bernie Sanders), and, as he said, “An ever-expanding government taking over more and more of the American economy.”

Prager fears Clinton appointments to the Supreme Court could, for a generation, allow judges to “use the court to pass laws” otherwise not achievable with a Republican-controlled Congress or White House. Asked to respond to #NeverTrump conservatives’ fear that Trump is redefining—or has already redefined the Republican Party—Prager said that will only happen if he “succeeds as president, and doesn’t do so by adopting conservative policies.”

“Then he may indeed redefine Republican and conservative,” Prager said. “I’ll worry about that then. And if he fails, he will give new impetus to the traditional understanding of Republican and conservative.”

Elliott Abrams, who served as a foreign policy advisor to George W. Bush and as a consultant for Cruz's campaign, said this year’s election reminds him of the first one he voted in—in 1972, when Richard Nixon beat George McGovern in every state except Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.

“I voted for governor, senator, all that, but I didn’t vote for either of them for president, because I didn’t support either,” Abrams said. Asked whether the “lesser of two evils” argument sways him at all, he said Trump’s unpredictability does not count in his favor.

“I don’t consider it an argument for Trump that he doesn’t really have many policy positions, that no one has a good idea what he’s going to do as president—including Trump!” Abrams said. “He has no understanding of the job. He has no understating of the Constitution, and that’s dangerous.”

Jeff Jacoby, a conservative columnist for the Boston Globe, said he will vote for president, just not for either Clinton or Trump, who he believes “undermines basically everything that conservatives especially, and Republicans generally, have said they stand for.”

In 1992, Jacoby voted for libertarian candidate Andre Marrou instead of George H. W. Bush or Bill Clinton. And in 2000, he again voted for the libertarian candidate — Harry Browne — instead of George W. Bush or Al Gore.

Jacoby, too, is not swayed by the argument that Trump is the least bad of two options.

“During World War II, there might not have been a reasonable alternative to accepting the Soviet Union as an ally against Germany, but this isn’t World War II, and I don’t think any individual voter or any conservative organization gains anything by letting the party make common cause with Donald Trump,” he said. “The country has come to a really bad pass, and no matter which path we take, something bad lies ahead.”

Orin Kerr, a libertarian-leaning conservative and law professor at George Washington University, also likened Trump to Nixon, calling him the type of politician “the framers of the Constitution were worried about.”

“I think a President Trump would pose a serious threat to the world’s security and constitutional governance,” said Kerr, who said he’s prepared to vote for Clinton if she’s Trump’s opponent in November. “From what I can tell, Hillary would be another Democratic politician, not too far from Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, and the republic survived those administrations.”

Weinstein, too, believes Trump has “authoritarian tendencies.” There is the affectionate way he has spoken about Russian president Vladimir Putin; his suggestions of respect for the late dictators Saddam Hussein and Muamar Gaddafi for killing terrorists; and his comments in a 1990 interview in Playboy magazine that Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev didn’t have a “firm enough hand,” and that the Communist Chinese government “almost blew it” in 1990 during the Tiananmen Square protests, until “they were vicious, they were horrible, but they put it down with strength.”

What put Weinstein, the Daily Caller editor, over the edge was an incident in which Michelle Fields, Weinstein’s girlfriend and a former Breitbart reporter, was grabbed at a Trump event by campaign manager Corey Lewandowski as she tried to approach Trump to ask him a question. A Florida prosecutor charged Lewandowski with battery, and then later dropped the charges, but eyewitnesses corroborated Fields’ account, along with audio and video footage.

Trump’s response was to claim Fields was lying, and he hinted he might sue her. He  also continued to praise Lewandowski and criticized other reporters for their coverage of the incident.

David Bernstein, a George Mason University law professor, said he would’ve voted for most of the Republican candidates in this year’s field, favoring in particular Cruz and Senator Rand Paul, but said he believes the U.S. “will survive four years of Clinton.” He thinks the Republican Party is at a tipping point at risk of being led by the “American version of Hugo Chavez or Juan Peron.”

“We’re going to have a situation where we have a Republican Party that resembles European right-wing parties—xenophobic, in favor of the welfare state; and the Democratic Party,” Bernstein said. “We won’t have any party that’s standing for limited government principles. We will have a big government left-wing party, and a big government right-wing party.”

Where do Jewish conservatives stand on Trump? Read More »

London’s Muslim mayor reaffirms plan for Israel trip

Sadiq Khan, who was sworn in as London’s first Muslim mayor last week, reiterated plans to lead a trade delegation to Israel.

In an interview with London’s The Jewish News published Monday, Khan, the first Muslim mayor of any Western capital city and London’s first Labour Party mayor in eight years, also said he believes it is important to improve Jewish-Muslim relations in the UK capital.

During his campaign, Khan criticized Labour for not doing enough to confront anti-Semitism among some of its members. Accusations of anti-Semitism have roiled his party in recent months, with dozens of members suspended in the past few weeks allegedly for making anti-Semitic remarks. London’s former Labour mayor, Ken Livingstone, was suspended for anti-Semitic remarks in late April following a series of interviews in which he claimed that Adolf Hitler had supported Zionism.

A self-described moderate Muslim, Khan took office on Saturday. He attended a Holocaust Remembrance Day ceremony with British Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis the following day in his first official appearance as mayor.

“We’ve got to accept there are some people who say they’re Muslim, some people of the Jewish faith who don’t like the fact I’m here, that I’m sitting next to the chief rabbi,” he told The Jewish News.

“My message to those people is we live in the greatest city in the world and have to go get along. I’m the mayor of London, the most diverse city in the world, and I’ll be everyone’s mayor. No preferential treatment ,but I have a role to build bridges. My signing-in ceremony was deliberately designed to show the sort of a mayor I’ll be and I started as I mean to go on.”

Asked when he will fulfill a campaign promise to visit Israel, Khan said, “I’ve not even had my first Monday at work to be fair, I’ve had six hours sleep since Wednesday. But I’m keen to make sure I’m the most pro-business mayor we’ve ever had and that means going on trade missions, including to Tel Aviv.”

London’s Muslim mayor reaffirms plan for Israel trip Read More »

Read all about it

While there are many excellent young adult novels with Jewish characters, some of which mention a bar or bat mitzvah, there are probably fewer than a dozen that tackle the subject directly. Those that do usually take the young protagonist on a journey of personal growth that mirrors his or her newfound knowledge

 of what it is to be a young adult with a Jewish identity. Here are five worth picking up.


The Truth About My Bat Mitzvah

by Nora Raleigh Baskin

Simon and Schuster, 2008

Middle school angst meets intermarriage in this short but engaging book for kids ages 10-12. Caroline is a preteen who hasn’t really thought of herself as any religion because her parents — Jewish mother, Christian father — did not raise her with one. But when her best friend prepares for her bat mitzvah and Caroline’s Jewish grandma dies, Caroline takes a closer look at her Jewish side. 

The author sensitively and humorously handles identity issues that can arise when a child’s parents have different religious backgrounds, and astutely portrays a young girl wanting to embrace her Jewish identity without rejecting her parents’ values. Caroline eventually discovers that because her mother is Jewish, she automatically becomes a bat mitzvah on her 12th birthday, which ties up loose ends nicely. Fans of Judy Blume’s novel “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret,” will not be disappointed with this enjoyable book.


13: Thirteen Stories that Capture the Agony and Ecstasy of Being Thirteen 

edited by James Howe 

Atheneum, 2006 

Many well-known authors of young-adult fiction have contributed to this anthology of short stories that are true to the collection’s title. It includes stories by Bruce Coville, Meg Cabot, Todd Strasser, Ann Martin and Ron Koertge, and other authors — all popular writers with strong teen followings. These well-developed stories focus on issues such as changes in friendships, innocent early sexual awakening (gay and straight), gang experiences, general teen idealism and fears, among others. 

Among the selections is the standout Jewish-themed story by editor and respected author James Howe, titled “Jeremy Goldblatt Is So Not Moses.” Told from a variety of perspectives, the story is about how a bar mitzvah gets hilariously out of control when the bar mitzvah boy decides to focus on meaning rather than spectacle (read: actually doing real-world mitzvahs instead of a pressured performance and party). He prevails, earns the rabbi’s respect and even wins the girl. The story should be required reading among bar and bat mitzvah planners — especially parents. An audiobook of this story is available, and is short enough to play in the car while driving your preteen to a soccer game. The family discussion that is sure to ensue is well worth the modest audio price.


About the B’nai Bagels

by E.L. Konigsburg

Atheneum, 2008 (re-issue)

It’s New York, circa 1970, and Mark Setzer is studying for his bar mitzvah. He is also having typical relationship problems involving his best friend, who recently moved away and has started hanging out with snotty rich kids. What’s worse is that his mother (eventually known as “Mother Bagel”) becomes manager of his B’nai Brith-sponsored Little League team, and his older brother is essentially blackmailed into being the team’s coach. When the team improves because of their help, the B’nai Bagels actually have a chance at the championship. 

Although on one level this story is about baseball, the focus is really on one boy’s growth as he learns to negotiate family obligations and figure out what is fair and right. Although Mark and his family attend synagogue on Saturdays, he feels pressured to miss services in order to practice with the team. When an anti-Semitic slur is invoked by a teammate, Mark realizes that his sessions with the rabbi have given him the confidence to respond, thereby bringing more meaning to his bar mitzvah. Newbery award-winning author E. L. Konigsburg is a master of this type of preteen novel, which hits all the right notes about young people learning to navigate their changing worldview while staying true to themselves.


My Basmati Bat Mitzvah

by Paula J. Freedman

Abrams, 2013

“Hin-Jew” is an unusual term that readers of this book will soon discover means “half-Hindi, half-Jewish,” and it characterizes 12-year-old Tara Feinstein’s co-mingled identity. Although her mom is Hindu and her dad is Jewish, it never bothered her much. But as she begins planning her bat mitzvah, Tara begins to think more about God: whether he exists, and if so, what her relationship with him should be. Ben-o, her good friend (and possible boyfriend), is Catholic and can’t help her, and there’s too much going on in her life, anyway — lessons with the rabbi, working on the class robotics project, and the unfortunate accident regarding an important family heirloom. Should she go through with the bat mitzvah even if she doesn’t quite believe in it all? Leave it to middle school enemy Sheila Rosenberg to seal the deal by telling Tara that technically she’s not Jewish. Tara is a delightful, strong-willed, authentic and questioning tween. Her growth and eventual understanding of her place in our multicultural world proves she can honor both cultures and still be herself. 

 


Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah: The Ceremony, the Party, and How the Day Came to Be

by Bert Metter, 

illustrated by Joan Reilly

Clarion, 2007

This short book (68 pages of text) is packed with everything a bar or bat mitzvah needs to know. Children will find answers to a wide range of questions, with chapters such as “How the Ceremony Came to Be” and “Party Time” containing child-appropriate information in a breezy, affable style. Another chapter, “Judith Steps Up,” tells the story of Mordecai Kaplan’s 12-year-old daughter Judith, who in 1922 had the first bat mitzvah in the United States. Another chapter includes reminiscences from actors and sports figures, including deaf actress Marlee Matlin, about their bar or bat mitzvahs. With a chapter on ceremonies in other places around the world — such as North Africa — source notes and a bibliography of books and websites, this book provides a thorough guide for children and their families. 

Lisa Silverman is the director of the Burton Sperber Jewish Community Library at American Jewish University.

Read all about it Read More »

11-year-old charged in bus blaze outside Crown Heights Jewish girls’ school

An 11-year-old boy was charged Monday with setting fire to a school bus outside a Jewish school in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn.

The bus went up in flames on Sunday evening in front of the Beth Rivkah School for Girls in the haredi Orthodox Jewish neighborhood. There were no injuries.

The accused boy was released to his parents, WABC-TV reported. Up to five boys were on the bus when it was set on fire, the station reported, citing a witness, who was able to identify the boy who was charged as a juvenile in the incident.

A lit pizza box was found inside the burning bus.

Police reportedly planned to use surveillance video from the school in an effort to identify the suspects.

11-year-old charged in bus blaze outside Crown Heights Jewish girls’ school Read More »

Women of the Wall keeps pushing for b’not mitzvah at the Kotel

When Alina Brenner began to plan her daughter Dana’s bat mitzvah, she considered throwing a party at a synagogue near their home in the Tel Aviv suburb of Hod HaSharon.

Then Brenner had second thoughts. 

“We wanted Dana to feel a connection to Judaism,” and having only a party felt like something was missing, she said, noting that her family is secular and unaffiliated but that being Jewish is important to them.  

Then Brenner heard that the feminist prayer group Women of the Wall (WOW) organizes b’not mitzvah in the women’s section of the Western Wall. 

“We wanted the bat mitzvah to be special, and coming to Jerusalem and having an aliyah to the Torah at the Kotel is very, very special,” Brenner said, using the Hebrew term for the Wall.

It also can be unnerving, given that, since WOW was established in 1988, ultra-Orthodox worshippers at the Wall often have staged protests against WOW’s monthly prayer services, where many of the female participants wear prayer shawls and sometimes tefillin and kippot

While the group has experienced periods of calm over the years, some Charedi Jews who oppose the group’s practices at the Kotel have disrupted WOW’s prayers by throwing rocks, plastic chairs and water bombs. Charedi women have been known to shout at WOW participants or blow whistles during services. 

Although there were several years when WOW held morning services at the Wall and then moved to nearby Robinson’s Arch (the southern Wall) to read from a Torah, the group has conducted both services at the Wall’s women’s section since late 2012, sometimes with a smuggled Torah scroll and other times with a Chumash, a book containing the Five Books of Moses and the weekly Torah portions. 

Rabbi Shmuel Rabinovitch, the ultra-Orthodox rabbi who dictates policy at the Wall, has long banned Torah scrolls from the women’s section, arguing that women’s Torah reading violates longstanding “local custom” at the holy site and offends Charedi worshippers. Last year, a group of feminists petitioned the Israeli Supreme Court to order Rabinovitch to allow women to have Torah scrolls at the state-funded holy site. The case is pending. 

WOW has vowed to continue to pray in the Kotel’s women’s section until the Israeli government follows through on its January commitment to create an official, government-funded, pluralistic prayer space. The plans for the prayer space — which follow two years of negotiations between the Israeli government, representatives of the Jewish Federations of North America, the Reform and Conservative movements in the U.S. and Israel, and WOW — may not become a reality because Charedi lawmakers have threatened to bring down the government if the plans move forward. 

Irena Lutt and her daughter Sasha Lutt display the certificate WOW gives to all girls and women who have their bat mitzvahs with WOW. Photo by Miriam Alster

Anat Hoffman, WOW’s chairwoman, said that until three years ago, Israeli police sometimes detained and even arrested some WOW activists for wearing prayer shawls, which the group sells to raise funds, and tefillin. Not surprisingly, she said, “Most parents didn’t want their children exposed to this and requests to have a bat mitzvah with WOW naturally subsided.”  

That changed on April 25, 2013, when the Jerusalem District Court ruled the government has no authority to arrest women for breaching local custom at a holy place. From then on, the police have protected WOW during its monthly Rosh Chodesh  (beginning of the month) prayers. 

The court’s ruling was just in time for the bat mitzvah of Devorah Leff, whose American-Israeli parents have been bringing her to WOW prayer sessions from a young age. Barry Leff, Devorah’s father and a Conservative rabbi, acknowledged there was “a huge amount of tension” the day of the bat mitzvah. 

“It was right after the court’s decision and the Charedim were really trying to take on WOW. They had bussed in thousands of yeshiva girls that day, into the women’s section,” to try to prevent WOW from praying, he said.

The women’s section was so packed, the group was forced to hold services, including the bat mitzvah, in the plaza behind the women’s section. 

Ultra-Orthodox leaders bussed in thousands of Charedi schoolgirls to prevent WOW from praying in the women’s section of the Kotel, so Devorah Leff read from the Torah in the plaza behind the women’s section. Photo by Tanya Hoffman 

“The police set up metal barriers to protect us. Some Charedim threw water bottles, but Devorah thought it was kind of exciting. She believes women have a right to pray with a Torah at the Kotel and felt having her bat mitzvah with WOW, at the Kotel, made a statement,” Leff said. “We have some unique bat mitzvah photos.” 

Devorah, who also participated in a 2014 WOW advertising bus campaign that encouraged women and girls to have a bat mitzvah at the Wall, said she wanted to pave the way for other Jewish women “in the struggle for religious freedom.” 

“I feel like I made a difference by fighting for women’s empowerment,” she said. “Women have as much right to pray at the Kotel as men do.” 

Susan Silverman, a Reform rabbi and longtime American-Israeli WOW activist, said her daughter Ashira’s WOW bat mitzvah earlier this year “held two worlds in one.” 

When Ashira read from the Torah, “She was surrounded by a loving community, people of all ages, that guided her along with such joy. It made me so happy, with such a sense of belonging to the place, as if all the Jews who had stood there before were called to this place and time and buoyed us all. A moment I will not soon forget.” 

At the same time, Silverman said, Charedi women in the women’s section stood near the group with signs denouncing the group and blew whistles so loudly that at times it drowned out Ashira’s chant. 

Rabbi Susan Silverman hugs her daughter Ashira during Ashira’s bat mitzvah with WOW earlier this year. Photo by Hadas Parush

“I do not raise my children to hate, but I cannot protect them from people who do, and their children,” Silverman said. “So from without this circle of Torah and shared loving purpose came the pain that we must heal. So the joy of Ashira becoming bat mitzvah, and the heartbreaking need to heal hate and hurtfulness, met in that moment.” 

Shira Pruce, who handles WOW’s public relations, said girls who have a bat mitzvah with the group at the Kotel enjoy a unique experience. 

“Every time a girl, her mother, her sister, her grandmother, say, ‘This is important enough for us to come to Israel, to Jerusalem, and plan a bat mitzvah at the Wall with Women of the Wall,’ they’re working toward social change,” Pruce said. 

She said WOW tells prospective bat mitzvah families, “We cannot promise there will be a Torah scroll at your bat mitzvah, but we will try. If not, there will be a Chumash.” 

Brenner said WOW was honest about what to expect. 

“They said people may shout at us but that Dana would be in the middle and surrounded by women, and it was true.”  

Sometimes, Brenner said, “You need to perform an action to show yourself you can do it. Dana did that. She was very brave.” 

Women of the Wall keeps pushing for b’not mitzvah at the Kotel Read More »

What’s a parent to do?

A concerned parent once stopped me in the hall of the temple and said, “Rabbi, I have a couple of questions about my daughter’s bat mitzvah service and I wanted to …”

I heard the stress in his voice and interrupted him with the words, “It will all be fine. Don’t worry, I’ve led a couple of services over the course of my career.”

“Good for you,” he replied sarcastically. “But I haven’t.” 

He was right. My level of comfort had nothing to do with his. At that moment, I realized that the goal isn’t for me to be comfortable, but for parents and their children to feel fully immersed in the b’nai mitzvah process so that they feel comfortable. I know what I am doing because I have done it so many times before, but for parents, this experience is limited to the number of children in their family.  

Clergy often wrestle with the question of how to integrate parents into this process, and every synagogue has its own way of going about it. At Temple Kol Tikvah, we have expanded the b’nai mitzvah experience from one day to four years. Starting in fourth grade — three years prior to b’nai mitzvah — our B’nai Mitzvah Revolution program gathers our fourth-graders and their parents for a family program that focuses on the importance of l’dor v’dor (from generation to generation). 

From left: Karen, Adam and Liam Friedman interact at a B’nai Mitzvah Revolution session.  Photo courtesy of Temple Kol Tikvah

Over the course of the next three years, we run family programs focusing on biblical heroes, tikkun olam (healing the world), stress and tzitzit (yes, we connect these ideas), conflict resolution and tefillin, the Torah, bullying, teen suicide prevention, and drug and alcohol abuse. All of these programs include parents. 

This multiyear process focusing on a young person’s maturation provides parents with opportunities to reflect with their children on a variety of topics. The goal is for every parent to understand that their child is transitioning into a young adult, and that every parent needs to have conversations about topics that weren’t appropriate when the child was younger. Prior to the creation of these programs, many parents only focused on the party; now they focus on their child’s transition and maturation.

The parents’ participation in this process is not limited to these sessions. Last year, we instituted a ‘’parents only” event. Here, we review the Torah blessings and, more important, we discuss the comments that parents will share with their children on the big day. We call these comments a charge, not a speech. 

As part of this program, we ask the parents to list three characteristics that define their child and two stories that embody these characteristics. We have them share these characteristics and stories with one another. Then we teach them the “Ten Commandments” of writing a charge:

1. Do not talk about every first in their life (e.g. birth, walking, talking, going to school, etc.) because it does not make your child unique unless they took these firsts under special circumstances.  

2. Remember that it is their day, not yours. 

3. Do not make fun of them.

4. Be positive.

5. If a joke is questionable, don’t say it.

6. Avoid the following words when talking about your child: crowning, tushie, poop, vomit, hate, obnoxious, self-centered or any negative or embarrassing language. 

7. Keep your comments short.

8. One idea will be remembered. Ten will not. (OK, you can stretch it to two but no more.) 

9. Don’t compare your child to their siblings or your friends’ children or Disney TV stars.

10. Look them in the eye, talk from your heart and give your kid the charge you want them to follow. Then make sure you give them the biggest hug you can after you’re done speaking.

While these rules seem obvious, parents often lose sight of what their speech should focus on. Every rabbi has a story about a parent who thanked everyone for coming to “their” event, or a parent who embarrassed and insulted their child with their comments while believing they were being “real” or funny, or a parent who went on for 30 minutes saying nothing important after the first minute or two. 

There are few opportunities to make a teen listen to you over the course of their middle school and high school years. This moment is one of the few where they will not walk away or put on headphones, so it is important to say words that will be remembered.

At my congregation, the last experience we give parents occurs the night before the b’nai mitzvah. It is a Kol Tikvah custom to give each child a Torah to take home and to return the next day. It is the child’s job to protect it, just as our ancestors have. 

That night, the parents stand behind the child on the bima, with the only light coming from the ner tamid (eternal light). They listen to the words I speak to their child. As their child exits the darkened sanctuary, I remind the parents that it is their responsibility to open the Torah with their child, to explore its words and to feel its presence in their home. I ask the parents to become the teacher of the tradition. While I have heard many stories of how this ritual has affected the lives of the child, I have heard just as many about how it has affected the parents.

It is the clergy’s goal to lead the entire family into the b’nai mitzvah process so they understand the importance of this ritual. But it must go beyond understanding — families must be fully immersed in the experience. Only then can they truly embark on a journey together that will strengthen their relationship as a child enters the teen years.


Rabbi Jon Hanish is the senior clergy at Temple Kol Tikvah in Woodland Hills. He is the chairman of the West Valley Rabbinic Task Force and sits on the executive committee of the Board of Rabbis of Southern California.

What’s a parent to do? Read More »

On Nat Geo show, Morgan Freeman sits down for Seder

While the prophet Elijah remains conspicuously absent, one Passover Seder in Jerusalem received a more well-known guest.

Morgan Freeman, the well-known actor and voiceover artist, attended a Seder held by Rabbi Maya Leibovitch, the first woman born in Israel to become a rabbi. Footage of the evening aired on May 8 during the sixth episode Freeman’s National Geographic show, “The Story of God.”

The show explores different religious traditions in an effort to uncover the roots and meaning of spiritual practice. Sunday’s episode was titled “The Power of Miracles.”

Nisan, the Jewish calendar month when Passover takes place, “comes from the word nisim, which is miracles,” Leibovich explained to the actor. “It’s the month of miracles.”

The rabbi walked Freeman through the story of the Passover miracles and the various Seder traditions, including the reading of the ten plagues.

“With all due respect Morgan, the children are the center of this night,” she said, referring to the four questions typically read by the youngest person present.

Freeman is famous for his baritone voice and also for playing God in the Jim Carrey film “Bruce Almighty.” A previous documentary television series narrated by the actor, “Through the Wormhole,” was nominated for two primetime Emmy Awards, according to IMDB.

Among other interviewees in Sunday’s episode, Freeman also spoke with a man who fell 46 stories and lived and a pastor who claims prayer saved him from a life-threatening disease.

The full episode can be viewed with a qualifying cable subscription on National Geographic’s website.

On Nat Geo show, Morgan Freeman sits down for Seder Read More »

Phone tap led police to Belgian ISIS cell, court hears

A series of bugged, coded communications over two months led Belgian police to storm a suspected Islamic State cell in the town of Verviers last year, thwarting an alleged plot, a Brussels court heard on Monday.

One unidentified conspirator used the cover name “Fatty”; another in the plot which Belgian authorities have said intended to target police officers, went by the handle “Big Lanky”.

Among seven accused present on the first day of a terrorism trial that began in Brussels under heavy security seven weeks after suicide bombers killed 32 people in the capital was Marouan El Bali. He survived the gunfight in January 2015 when police shot dead two armed men who had returned from fighting with IS in Syria.

In summarizing the case against the 16 accused, nine of whom are still at large, the judge offered details of how security services had used telephone taps to help combat a potential threat from more than 300 Belgians who have fought in Syria.

In a tapped call in November 2014 an unidentified man told another who was on a police watchlist: “I've got everything.”

Six months after a first Islamist attack in Belgium, when a Frenchman shot dead four people at Brussels' Jewish Museum, that was enough to set off an intensive monitoring operation. It led to the Verviers raid, a week after Islamist attacks on the Paris magazine Charlie Hebdo and a Jewish grocery had shocked Europe.

The judge said investigators had heard cryptic messages, some from Turkey and Greece, to various alleged members of the Belgian cell, including those named Fatty and Big Lanky.

Among those involved was Abdelhamid Abaaoud from Brussels, who fought with Islamic State in Syria and is believed to have been an organizer of several attacks in Europe, including those in Paris last Nov. 13. Abaaoud was killed in a gunbattle with French police five days after militants killed 130 people.

Criticized by some for failing to prevent the March 22 IS suicide bombings at Brussels airport and on the city's metro, Belgian leaders have highlighted the operation at Verviers, a rundown industrial town near German border, as a major success.

As well as the two dead gunmen, both from Brussels' Arab immigrant community, police found assault rifles, bomb-making material and items of Belgian police uniform. Abaaoud later boasted online that he had eluded capture and returned to Syria.

El Bali, who was found in the safehouse, has protested his innocence. His lawyer told reporters outside the court on Monday that he had merely been visiting a childhood friend.

He is accused of being a leader in a terrorist group, attempted murder, making and keeping of bombs and planning an attack on a non-specified building, his lawyer said. The trial is expected to last several weeks.

Phone tap led police to Belgian ISIS cell, court hears Read More »