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January 18, 2012

Polio survivor’s new film explores sexual surrogacy

Nine years before Mark O’Brien died, the 36-year-old poet and journalist, who was also a polio survivor living in an iron lung, decided he wanted to lose his virginity. Until then, he’d always been ashamed of his sexuality, which he believed served no purpose save to mortify him when he became aroused during bed baths. So, like any true writer, he recorded his thoughts: “I rationalized that somebody who was not an attendant … would be horrified at seeing my pale, thin body with its bent spine, bent neck, washboard ribcage and hipbones protruding like outriggers,” O’Brien wrote in an article titled “On Seeing a Sexual Surrogate.”

O’Brien died of complications from bronchitis in 1999, but five years after his death, another polio survivor, filmmaker Ben Lewin, chanced to read that essay and was inspired to turn it into a film. The result is “The Surrogate,” premiering in dramatic competition at the Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 23. The film spotlights how O’Brien (played by John Hawkes) hired a professional surrogate, Cheryl Cohen Greene (Helen Hunt), with the counsel of his priest (William H. Macy). Along the way, the poet and the surrogate forge an unexpectedly close relationship, as O’Brien battles Catholic guilt and Cohen Greene, who is married to a Jew, converts to Judaism.

Lewin, who lives in Santa Monica and is married and the father of three children, ages 12 to 26, came across O’Brien’s article at a turning point in his own life. By 2006, he said, his television career had waned and, feeling “desperate” about providing for his family, he made a living selling high-end watches. But he continued to write and was penning a sitcom, about a man who trades his disabled person’s parking placard for sex, when he came across O’Brien’s article. “I was as affected by it emotionally as anything I’ve ever read,” Lewin, 65, said at home recently. Lewin, who wears a brace on his left leg, was sitting at his dining room table, his crutches next to him.

Like O’Brien, Lewin contracted polio at age 6 and spent time in an iron lung: “I have no memories of being able-bodied,” he said. “Just a tummy ache the night I became sick, and fragmented memories of being on a gurney.  So there was that personal level of, ‘OK, Mark and I had been through some common experience,’ but where I really embraced his story was when I realized it was about everyone’s fear of sex. Mark, perhaps without knowing it, had expressed a kind of universal journey.”

Filmmaker Ben Lewin

The filmmaker also shares a kind of caustic wit with the late O’Brien, a disability activist who wrote articles with titles like “Lifestyles of the Blind and Paralyzed.” 

As Lewin did research for the film, he tracked down the writer Susan Fernbach, who was O’Brien’s life partner for several years. He also viewed Jessica Yu’s Oscar-winning 1996 short documentary, “Breathing Lessons: The Life and Work of Mark O’Brien,” in which O’Brien speaks of his triumphs and frustrations while encased from the neck down in the massive iron lung, where he spent most hours of every day.

“Initially I thought, it would be easy to translate Mark’s [surrogate] article into a movie — and then it wasn’t,” Lewin said. “The problem was, the article was very sexually explicit, and while rereading my first draft, I thought, ‘I’m not sure I can deal with all of these erections and ejaculations — how can we deal with this?’ But then, as I expanded the character of the priest, I found that the ‘gory’ details could come out in the confessional.” 

Another turning point came when Lewin met Cohen Greene, who explained that a sexual surrogate (now called a “surrogate partner”) works with sex therapists to help clients suffering sexual dysfunction, using methods such as sensual touch and often intercourse, with verbal feedback.

“You could see that there was something special between her and Mark,” Lewin said.  “She had never worked with someone that disabled, or who had sent her poetry, and I had a feeling that the relationship had gone beyond merely the mechanical aspects of how you have sex. So I developed the idea that it became a journey for both of them, and Cheryl was comfortable with that. I showed her the script before I sent it anywhere else.”

Lewin’s own polio hit during the global epidemic of the early 1950s, just three years after his parents, Polish Holocaust survivors, immigrated to Melbourne, Australia. After attending a school for the disabled, he mainstreamed and eventually became a criminal attorney before officials in the budding Australian film industry sent him to film school in London in 1971.  Lewin went on to make films in England, Australia and France, and then moved to Los Angeles to follow his Hollywood dream, directing series such as “Ally McBeal” and “Touched by an Angel” in the 1990s. 

Lewin also made a series of public service announcements about people with disabilities, which was “like ‘coming out’ for me, in a way,” he said. He was startled, however, when a woman who had cared for him when he had polio turned up as a consultant on one of his films. “It was quite a traumatic encounter,” he said. “I don’t know how the mind works, but we immediately stopped the shoot and called for the psychiatrist. … I was processing things I hadn’t thought about in a while.”

On the set of “The Surrogate” in Los Angeles, Lewin’s concern was how to depict sex and disability without being exploitative. “One thing I was determined not to do was to have any kind of fantasy sequence where Mark imagined himself as able-bodied,” he said. 

Hunt worked closely with Cohen Greene to get the surrogate sessions right: “A lot had to do with the physical parts of it,” said Cohen Greene, now vice president of the International Professional Surrogates Association. “With clothes on, I showed her the kind of touch I used; she focused intently on my movements.” 

In the film, Hunt appears fully nude in several sequences, in order to bring a realistic quality to the surrogate sessions, Lewin said.  She initially had concerns about how those sequences would be shot: “I told her they’d be done just like the rest of the movie — in a fairly banal, direct way, with no fancy lights or music,” Lewin said. “Sex scenes can be very awkward,” he added. “The crew tends to become very solemn, and the first time Helen took off her clothes, they were all on best behavior.” 

The scene in question was to show Cohen Greene immersing in a mikveh during her conversion to Judaism, and everyone was silent as Hunt disrobed. Then Rhea Perlman (“Taxi”), who plays the mikveh attendant, blurted out, “Wow, what a body.” “That not only added levity, it made a difference for the rest of the shoot,” Lewin said.

The 2012 Sundance Film Festival runs through Jan. 29.

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Truckin’ with kosher eggrolls

Jews have had a long and halcyon history with Chinese food. In many cities it’s tradition for Jews to spend Christmas at the movies, later eating at their favorite Chinese restaurant. So it’s no small feat that Los Angeles now has its first Jewnese food truck, and a kosher one at that.

Michael Israel grew up in Montreal eating plenty of eggrolls — they were one of his family’s favorite dishes. So when Israel, a culinary school graduate, and his wife, Emily, decided to enter the restaurant business, they knew where they wanted to start.

“Eggrolls, particularly Montreal eggrolls,” says Michael, “are a representation of my childhood and my family’s roots, coming from Canada. And I think it’s critical for any chef to connect with [his or her] upbringing and roots, and communicate that through food.” 

Emily Israel agreed with her husband, and while they initially considered opening a brick-and-mortar shop, the food truck craze in Los Angeles gave them another idea. Why not make an eggroll food truck?  And so, M.O.Eggrolls was born.

The Israels worked with a designer, who helped them find an old linen truck to strip down and rebuild as their kitchen on wheels.

Michael and Emily, members of Temple Beth Am, a Conservative synagogue on the edge of the Pico-Robertson area, knew immediately that they wanted their food truck to be kosher. They turned to their rabbi, Susan Leider, and asked her to help them with the endeavor.

Leider, who’s quick to admit that M.O.Eggrolls was the first food business for which she’s ever supervised kashrut, leapt at the chance. She supervised the building of the truck from the ground up and worked with Michael and Emily to ensure proper construction.

M.O.Eggrolls. Photo courtesy of M.O.Eggrolls

“We take kashrut seriously as Jews and as Conservative Jews, and we feel that we’re modeling for the rest of the community what that means,” Leider said. The obvious drawback is that the vast majority of Orthodox Jews will not recognize a Conservative hechsher, but Leider is quick to point out that Conservative Jews take Jewish law seriously, too. “In no way does any denomination have a monopoly on that.”

Emily agrees. “The fact that it’s kosher … speaks to the integrity not only of our food, but of our business. We’re kosher in the way we run the business, the way we treat our employees, the way we treat our customers.”

Michael doesn’t want people to see the kosher eggroll thing as a gimmick. “I personally am very averse to fusion — and I know our menu seems like it would be classified as fusion. But in actuality, all of the combinations in each individual eggroll tend to be very classic.”

The eggrolls, which come in varieties ranging from Tongue Chinois, which combines “sauteed shitake mushrooms, scallions and garlic” with tender bits of juicy beef tongue, to Challah Pain Perdu, a dessert eggroll with coconut, banana and white rum, are all designed and made by Michael and his team. “We make everything from scratch on the truck. … The only thing we don’t make from scratch are the wrappers that go around the eggrolls.”

And while M.O.Eggrolls isn’t the only game in town — other kosher food trucks, like the kosher taco truck Takosher, have been rolling around town — the Israels hope their family-owned, friendly business will help them stand out. “That’s why we’re doing it — we want to have a community; we want to celebrate Jewishness, and food, and street food, and celebrate Los Angeles,” Emily says.

“Now, every time we see a linen truck on the street, we can imagine what it could be.”

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Surivor: Greti Herman

In the pounding rain, lined up five abreast, Greti Herman — then Margit Berger — and her parents were marched from Hungary’s Csillaghegy Ghetto to the nearby train station. As they walked, her mother motioned for her and her father to remove five of the six threads that attached the yellow stars to their canvas raincoats. They arrived early evening, into “a big chaos,” according to Greti, as the Hungarian gendarmes — the police force — shoved people into the waiting cattle cars, tossing their belongings in after them.

Amid the pushing and shouting, as her mother instructed, Greti dashed across the street, in the semi-darkness, and lay down in a rain-filled ditch. Her parents joined her. A half-hour later, after the train connected with a second one filled with Jews from surrounding villages, it departed, headed, they later learned, for Auschwitz. It was July 9, 1944, Greti’s 21st birthday.


Greti was born in Vienna in 1923, the only child of Aladar and Irma Berger. The modern Jewish family lived comfortably. Her father, a mechanical engineer, manufactured sports equipment.

Things changed after Nazi Germany annexed Austria on March 12, 1938. Greti was soon banned from school. Some nights, Nazis pounded on the family’s apartment door, forcing them outside, on hands and knees, with a bucket and brush, to clean up anti-Semitic graffiti.

Later that year, Greti and her parents moved to her paternal grandparents’ farm in Pomaz, Hungary, outside Budapest. Greti was taught to sew until she learned Hungarian and enrolled in school. Meanwhile, her father was ordered to make ski poles for the Hungarian army.

In 1942, the family built a small house on the Pomaz farm property. In 1944, Greti’s mother returned to Vienna, smuggled out her own father and brought him to live with them. One morning in early April, after the Nazis had invaded Hungary, Greti walked into her grandfather’s bedroom to discover he had hanged himself. His note said he refused to wear a yellow star.

Soon after, the family was relocated to the Csillaghegy Ghetto, outside Budapest. They lived in one room. Greti commuted by train to Szentendre, where she sewed bread sacks for Hungarian soldiers all day.

On July 8, 1944, the ghetto residents were told they were being relocated the next day for work. Only those in mixed marriages, non-Hungarian citizens and people vital to the war industry were exempted. Greti approached Laszlo Endre, Csillaghegy’s gendarmerie commander (not to be confused with Laszlo Endre the vicious Nazi collaborator later convicted and hanged) to ask about exemptions. He offered to smuggle her out, but Greti refused to leave without her parents.  The next day the family escaped the train to Auschwitz by hiding in the ditch.

After the train departed, Greti and her parents removed their yellow stars and walked to the home of a Jewish Romanian woman they knew. She hid them in one room, insisting on silence when her boarder, a shoemaker, was there.

Soon after, the Romanian woman went to Budapest, at their request, to get money from a Christian woman who had sold Greti’s mother’s fur coat. She never returned. Greti’s mother was sick, and they hadn’t eaten in two days. Greti then donned her mother’s glasses and scarf and headed to the gendarme’s office.

“For God’s sake, are you still here?” Laszlo Endre asked. That night, by his plan, Greti and her parents climbed out their window at midnight and walked to a prearranged spot at an old brick factory. The gendarme met them there, dressed in civilian clothes. He quietly led them back to the Csillaghegy Ghetto, where a few families, exempt from deportation, were living. They remained there for two months, until the ghetto closed.

Janos Kovacs, a locksmith, then hid them in a workshop behind his house. He had hollowed out a space in the wall, which could be accessed by pulling out the oversize drawers of worktables abutting the wall. At night, when the Nazis were conducting surprise raids, Janos pulled on a string that reached from the main house to Greti’s big toe, alerting them to climb into the wall cavity. This happened two or three times.

In March 1945, they heard on Voice of America that the Russians were entering Hungary. They then spotted them riding down a nearby hill on their small horses. “We were very happy,” Greti said.

They returned to Pomaz, where they restored their house, which had been stripped and heavily damaged by Russian soldiers.

Soon Greti met Ernest Herman, who had been the lumberyard manager and who had lost his wife and son at Auschwitz. Three years later, in 1948, they married. Meanwhile, Greti, with other survivors, testified on behalf of Laszlo Endre, who had been arrested by the Russians, and secured his release.

Greti and Ernest remained in Budapest, where Greti gave birth to Tom in 1948 and Pini in 1951. (Pini is now a demographer and also blogs for jewishjournal.com.) In 1956, after the Hungarian Revolution, the family fled, eventually arriving in Los Angeles. Ernest, who died in 2008, was an engineer, and Greti worked her way up from entry level to executive at Beneficial Standard Life Insurance Co.

A 20-year survivor of pancreatic cancer and survivor of two strokes, Greti, now 88, manages apartment buildings and actively volunteers for Shelters for Israel. Additionally, she enjoys taking photographs as well as cooking and hosting Shabbat dinner every week for her family, which now includes two sons and their wives, five grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

“I do what I can,” she said.

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Hungary, Sweden launch Raoul Wallenberg Year

Ceremonies in Budapest inaugurated Raoul Wallenberg Year, a series of events marking the centennial of the birth of the Swedish diplomat who saved tens of thousands of Jews during the Holocaust.

Hungarian Foreign Minister Janos Martonyi, Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt and Israeli Cabinet minister Yossi Peled opened observances in Budapest on Tuesday, the anniversary of the day in 1945 that Wallenberg was last seen after being arrested by the Soviet Red Army. Holocaust survivors and members of Wallenberg’s family also attended the ceremony at the National Museum.

Hungary, as well as Sweden, will mark Wallenberg Year with exhibitions, conferences, concerts and other commemorative events, including the issuing of stamps in both countries.

Wallenberg, a neutral Swedish diplomat in Budapest after the German occupation in 1944, issued Swedish travel documents – known as “Wallenberg passports” – to at least 20,000 Jews and also set up more than 30 safe houses for Jews. Other neutral diplomats collaborated in the effort.

The details of Wallenberg’s fate have remained a mystery. He disappeared while being escorted out of Hungary toward the Soviet Union. The Soviets claimed that he died of a heart attack in 1957, but other evidence indicates that he was killed in Lubyanka prison or that he may have lived years longer.

The stated goals of Hungary’s Wallenberg Year include “moving closer to clarifying Wallenberg’s fate,” as well as commemoration of Holocaust victims and their rescuers, education about human rights and minority issues, and “exposing the crimes of National Socialism and Communism.”

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A Productive Response To Beit Shemesh – Rabbi Barry Gelman

Dear Friends,
A few weeks ago I spoke in shul about the ongoing crisis in Beit Shemesh, Israel where a group of extremist Chareidim are attempting to intimidate the Religious Zionist / Modern Orthodox community. There has been rock throwing, spitting, verbal abuse and threats.
After the sermon a number of people asked if there is anything that our community can do to support the community under attack.

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Woman publishes a slightly creepy ‘How to Look Like Drake’ video

Who doesn’t wanna be Drake? I mean, he has everything: the money, the talent, the looks. Yep, everyone wants to be Drake, and now thanks to a new video, anyone can actually look like him, even Asian women!

Tamang Phan, an amateur make-up artist who is famous for making online videos of how to look like starlets like Kate Middleton, Angelina Jolie and even Neytiri, that blue chick from Avatar, has outdone herself by instructing girls how to look like Drake.

The transformation actually turns out surprisingly well. Who knew that by drawing a hairline, using dark make up to make your nose bigger and drawing a little beard, anyone could like Drake? Now that she crossed the line and started cross… make-upping, Phan should tackle the more interesting looking hip-hop artists. I demand to see how I can turn into Lil Wayne or Snoop!

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Must Read, January 18, 2012

Can the center hold?

Writing in Foreign Policy, Yossi Klein Halevi outlines the paradox facing Israselis – most of whom believe in a two-state solution, but mistrust the Palestinian commitment to ending the conflict.

“Some centrists have criticized ¬Netanyahu for refusing to endorse the 1967 borders as a starting point for negotiations. But they fault him for tactical reasons, not strategic ones. By accepting the Clinton parameters, of which the 1967 borders are a key principle, centrist commentators have argued, Netanyahu could have exposed Palestinian intransigence. But few Israelis believe that any initiative at this point would be met by the Palestinian concessions necessary for peace. So long as Hamas remains ascendant and Palestinian leaders from all factions insist on the right of return to Israel proper, no Israeli prime minister will sign a peace agreement.”

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Syrian echoes of Saddam

An editorial in Britain’s Telegraph newspaper slams Bashar Assad for his brutal response to the Syrian uprising, and behaving in a manner reminiscent of another (deposed) Arab leader.

“Any doubts about [Assad’s]  determination to smash the uprising should have been dispelled in the three weeks since Arab League monitors arrived in Syria. In that time, the UN estimates that about 400 people have been killed. Having accepted a league plan to halt the violence, Mr Assad has cocked a snook at its architects, seemingly confident that, however damning the findings, no military action will be taken.”

Who Is Behind Cyberattacks on Israel’s Airline and Banks?

Eli Lake of the Daily Beast takes a critical look at the latest front in the Israeli-Arab conflict, and even finds a ray of hope.

“The coordinated attack Monday was probably the first large-scale hacktivist action inspired by the Arab-Israeli conflict. “In the past, we have seen coordinated attacks on South Korea, Estonia, and other countries,” Meyran said. “We have never seen this in Israel.”

Iran, the U.S. and the Strait of Hormuz Crisis

Iran and the U.S. currently find themselves in a standoff, writes George Friedman in Real Clear Politics, but warns that any misstep by either side could have serious implications on a global scale.

“Each side is seeking to magnify its power for psychological effect without crossing a red line that prompts the other to take extreme measures. Iran signals its willingness to attempt to close Hormuz and its development of nuclear weapons, but it doesn’t cross the line to actually closing the strait or detonating a nuclear device. The United States pressures Iran and moves forces around, but it doesn’t cross the red line of commencing military actions. Thus, each avoids triggering unacceptable actions by the other.”

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Ehud Barak: Attack on Iran ‘very far off’

An Israeli attack on Iran is “very far off,” Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak said.

“We haven’t made any decision to do this. The entire thing is very far off,” Barak said during an interview Wednesday with Israel’s Army Radio after being asked whether the United States was calling on Israel to be informed before any planned attack against Iran.

Barak did not specify what “far” meant, but said that “it certainly is not urgent.”

The interview comes ahead of a visit Thursday by Martin Dempsey, chairman of the U.S. joint military chiefs of staff, who is expected to press Israel not to strike Iran. It will be Dempsey’s first visit to Israel since becoming chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in September

Israel and the United States earlier this week delayed their largest ever anti-missile exercise; it is believed that tensions over Iran is one of the major reasons for the delay.

Western nations believe that Iran’s nuclear program is aimed at building a bomb, while Iran insists it is for peaceful purposes.

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Israeli American is owner of capsized cruise liner

Israeli-American businessman Micky Arison is the CEO and chairman of the company that operates the cruise line whose ship ran aground off the Italian coast.

Arison, who also owns the National Basketball Association’s Miami Heat, is the head of the Carnival Corp., of which Costa Cruises is a subsidiary.

Arison, 62, is the son of the late Carnival Corp. founder Ted Arison. He is No. 169 on the Forbes list of the world’s billionaires, with a net worth of $5.9 billion.

The luxury cruise liner Costa Concordia struck rocks near Giglio Island off the coast of Italy, tearing a hole in the hull, and began sinking on Jan. 13.  11 people are confirmed dead and up to 23 missing of the 4,200 passengers and crew on board the ship.

Arison said in a statement that he was “deeply saddened” by the disaster, The Wall Street Journal reported.

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